I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for June, 2009
10:30 PM Music: Pink – “Funhouse”
Jun 30th
I mentioned earlier that angry chick lyrics are just the best. Pink is one of those female rockers that do these types of lyrics justice. She has the style, the voice and the attitude to make songs like Funhouse one of the best all-time female rock anthems. And I love the phrase in the song that “this use to be a funhouse, but now its full of evil clowns.” Wow, gotta love a song about evil clowns.
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Loading ...Build Your Own Cube Farm
Jun 30th
When I was on vacation I made a rare impulse buy. I picked up set 1 of The Cubes, Bob. This is Bob below.
He comes with awesome motivational posters, his own computer, filing cabinet and deskphone. You can buy other Cubes too and build your own tiny cubefarm of despair. You can also get Ann.
Or maybe the IT guy:
Check out the whole set at CubeFigures.com here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Vick May Have Suspension Extended
Jun 30th
Roger Goodell may extend Michael Vick’s suspension, along with an indefinite suspension of Plaxico Burress.
From the DailyPress here:
Yahoo Sports reports that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is “leaning toward” extending MIchael Vick’s suspension and also handing down an indefinite suspension to Plaxico Burress. The online report cites “three sources with knowledge of the situation” but does not identify them.
Vick, the star quarterback from Newport News, is currently serving the last three weeks of his federal prison sentence on home confinement in Hampton. He pleaded guilty to charges related to a dogfighting ring run out of his property in Surry County. The Atlanta Falcons have cut ties with Vick, but he hopes to play again with another team.
Vick was suspended indefinitely by the league in August 2007.
Does anyone think its time for Vick to play ball again, or should he continue with his suspension?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Vegan or Vegan-Curious?
Jun 30th
Awesome picture on the Failblog here.
see more Fail Blog
Vegan-curious? Since when is eating veggies only like wanting to try homosexuality? Is there a correlation? Hmmm? Non-judgemental support groups? Opportunities to connect? Why would they need meetings?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Tranny Clown Robs Beer Emporium
Jun 30th
This is why you don’t let their kind into the store.
What a Tranny Clown would look like.
This tale of terror is from Denver here:
The Boulder Police Department is looking for a cross-dressing man wearing clown makeup who robbed a liquor store on Saturday night.
Officers received a call from the Boulder Beer Emporium just before midnight. The caller said that the store was robbed.
The witnesses described the robber as a man wearing red and white face makeup, a red and purple wig, a fake nose and a denim dress. Employees told police they didn’t think anything was peculiar when he walked into the store because of the Pridefest events happening over the weekend in Denver.
The clerk said the man walked up to an employee in the store and asked for help in a feminine voice, saying, “Will you help me? My husband is out of work.” After being rebuked by the employee, the man walked to the checkout stand and showed the clerk a pistol.
The man did not take any beer or liquor and left with an undisclosed amount of money, Huntley said.
What kind of fruity clown would stick up a beer store and leave the place dry? Clowns are not funny.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Ow, Where’s the Bactine?
Jun 29th
Sometimes when my wife is out of the house I like the teach the cats survival skills. Tonight’s lesson was how to survive a zombie attack. With arms outstretched and making loud sounds crossed between a moan and a meow, I was lumbering after both cats to test to see how they respond to a confrontation with a member of the undead. The cats both bristled their fur, and Rogue in particular let her tail get all poofy. Cartney laughed as the cats ran away looking a bit spooked. He even moaned a bit and chased Trinket out of the room.
But the lesson in zombie survival was quickly turned into a lesson for me that cats still have claws and aren’t afraid to use them on the undead. Especially when you corner them, shout “brains!” and try to pick them up.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...9 PM Music: Noisettes – “Never Forget You”
Jun 29th
A great song by a wonderful singer which harkens back to the days of the 60′s soul music. Check out the British Band, the Noisettes.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Flaming Gay-Married White Liberal Rapes Adopted 5 Year Old Black Boy
Jun 29th
Meet Gay Associate Director of Duke University’s Global Health Policy, Frank Lombard. He and his gay partner, who live in a wealthy hippie commune in Durham, North Carolina, decided to adopt black children because, as liberals and queers, that’s what they think society should allow them to do.
But there was a catch- Lombard was a child predator who only wanted the children so he could film himself having sex with them and sell their “sweet black asses” for sex to other perverts on the internet. As for Lombard’s gay husband/clueless lifepartner who supposedly knew nothing about Lombard anally raping their child? Who knows what he is up to now- probably doing research on gay divorce.
From the NewsObserver here:
Frank M. Lombard, the Duke University researcher accused of offering his adopted 5-year-old son for sex, awaits a trip to Washington, D.C., this week to face federal criminal charges.
He was locked in the Durham jail Saturday without bail. Lombard, 42, of 24 Indigo Creek Trail (check out the communal garden and the freakin’ teepee in the communal space!), performed sexual acts on his son and invited an undercover investigator online to fly to North Carolina and do the same.
Lombard owns the home with another man. The pair bought the home, which sits at the end of a narrow path lined with trees and multicolored homes, in May 2007, the records show. The co-owner has not been accused of any wrongdoing.
Investigators seized two webcams, five computers and a sex toy, among other items, after searching his home. The 5-year-old and another child in the home were placed in protective custody.
Lombard is a health-disparities researcher who studies HIV/AIDS in the rural South. Lombard lived in Eno Commons, a co-housing community in north Durham, which emphasizes communal life.
Check out this pervert’s Amazon.Com wishlist here. It is full of mild gay porn focused on children and lots of liberal double-talk books like “What If All the Kids Are White?: Anti-bias Multicultural Education With Young Children And Families,” “The Anti-Racist Cookbook, Lifting the White Veil: An Exploration of White American Culture in a Multiracial Context,” “The Hidden Cost of Being African American: How Wealth Perpetuates Inequality,” and “Who Is White?: Latinos, Asians, And the New Black/nonblack Divide.”
Didn’t Duke University falsely accuse a bunch of white kids of raping a black woman? Didn’t 88 professors sign a petition condemning the Duke Lacrosse players of being racist and rapists? Well now you have a real white rapist, who was gay, and his kids were black, but you don’t see either of these facts in the newspaper. And you won’t see anyone in the press or any Duke professors showing outrage over this. Because liberal values of being gay would override any ill intentions of being a degenerate racist rapist of little black children.
Thanks to Mike Adams at Townhall and Self Evident Truths.
Update: Eno Commons Cohousing Website is here. Under the FAQ about kids they sadly write that their stupid communal lifestyle is “paradise” for kids-
Paradise for Children
Children learn what they live. Our children are learning about independence, inter-dependence, diversity, ecology, consensus, and how to be good neighbors in a supportive community through their every day experiences. From the time they decide to participate at the age of two or three, children can help make some of the community rules. They clear their places at community meals, leave their shoes on all of our porches, run through the meadow (or more likely around Sam and Margaret’s yard) with their friends, get homework help from all of us, follow animal tracks through the woods, or choose to be alone.
If benadryl-induced ass-reamings is paradise, I would hate to hear how Eno Commons defines hell for children.
Update: Lombard’s gay lifepartner is Ken Shipp, an older man and registered pharmacist working for Duke University studying AIDS and HIV drug testing programs. If anyone in the home would know how to drug a child it would be this guy, but it is possible that he didn’t know about the abuse. Also, it turns out that Lombard was also active in a pro-gay church as a member of the vestry.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...So Ted, Tell Us How You Really Feel
Jun 29th
This one was sent around my office. I usually don’t post much about gun control, but it is rare that ideas are made this crystal clear. Listen to Ted describe how free men must be able to defend themselves.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...A Tragic Celebrity Death
Jun 28th
Awww. Billy Mays died. Father of two and a great pitchman, he convinced me to buy several of his products. He was a passionate man who worked his ass off and believed in his products and was the epitome of the American Dream. RIP Billy.
From FoxNews here:
Television pitchman Billy Mays — who built his fame by appearing on commercials and infomercials promoting household products and gadgets — died Sunday.
Mays, 50, was found unresponsive by his wife inside his Tampa, Fla., home at 7:45 a.m. on Sunday, according to the Tampa Police Department.
Mays was well known for his numerous television promotions of such products as Orange Glo and OxiClean. He was also featured on the reality TV show “Pitchmen” on the Discovery Channel, which followed Mays and Anthony Sullivan in their marketing jobs.
Mays developed his style demonstrating knives, mops and other “as seen on TV” gadgets on Atlantic City’s boardwalk. For years he worked as a hired gun on the state fair and home show circuits, attracting crowds with his booming voice and genial manner.
After meeting Orange Glo International founder Max Appel at a home show in Pittsburgh in the mid-1990s, Mays was recruited to demonstrate the environmentally friendly line of cleaning products on the St. Petersburg-based Home Shopping Network.
Commercials and informercials followed, anchored by the high-energy Mays showing how it’s done while tossing out kitschy phrases like, “Long live your laundry!”
His ubiquitousness and thumbs-up, in-your-face pitches won Mays plenty of fans. People line up at his personal appearances for autographed color glossies, and strangers stop him in airports to chat about the products.
Mays was on board a US Airways flight that blew out its front tires as it landed at a Tampa airport on Saturday, MyFOXTampa.com reported.
I have to go now and use some Mighty Putty to repair some household goods and use OxyClean to get stains out of my kid’s t-shirts.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...More Nigerian Fun
Jun 28th
Russia has created a new company in Nigeria. So what is it named?
From the BBC here:
Russia’s energy giant Gazprom has signed a $2.5bn (£1.53bn) deal with Nigeria’s state operated NNPC, to invest in a new joint venture.
The new firm, to be called Nigaz, is set to build refineries, pipelines and gas power stations in Nigeria.
As well as forming Nigaz, Russia is keen on developing a trans-African pipeline to transport Nigerian gas to Europe.
I think the name of the Pipeline, which supplies on-demand fuel to Europe is going to be called “Nigaz Please.”
You can buy stock in Nigaz. You can sell Nigaz. Try to buy some Nigaz to “diversify” your portfolio.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Dave McKean’s Mythical Creatures Stamps
Jun 27th
This is a series of stamps for the Royal mail that depict the Isle of Britain’s mythical creatures by artist Dave McKean. The US gets Bigfoot and Hogzilla. The UK gets faeries, giants, mermaids and pixies. Check ‘em out:
Neil Gaiman, the author of the Epic Sandman Chronicles and the mind behind the awesome Coraline movie, was tasked to write the textual descriptions of the stamps. You can find that info here from the Times. An excerpt about Mermaids:
She keeps the souls of the drowned in lobster pots that she finds on the seabed.
They sing, the captive souls, and they light her way home beneath the grey Atlantic.
She had sisters once, but long ago they shed their tails and scales and stepped gingerly ashore to live with fishermen in their dry-land cottages. Now she is lonely, and not even the souls of the dead are company.
Walk the sea’s edge in winter and you may see her, too far away, waving to you. Wave back and she will take you down to her world, deep below the waves, and show you cold wonders, and teach you the songs of the merfolk, and the lonely ways beneath the sea.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...9 PM Music: Lisa Marie Presley – “Idiot”
Jun 27th
My wife told me that I should check out LMP’s blog about Michael Jackson’s death. According to Lisa on her MySpace blog, Michael Jackson fully anticipated going out in a blaze of stupor and drugs just like Lisa Marie’s Dad, Elvis did. She also goes on to explain how she felt attracted to Michael because she wanted to save him, and in a way, prevent her own father’s tragic ending from happening to Jackson. Its a sad way to spend one’s youth trying to fix people who can’t and don’t want to be saved. Check out the blog here.
Anyways, while I was there, I decided to check out LMP’s own music, and hey, this girl has a set of pipes. And this song is just angry girl lyrics, which is what always attracted me to Alanis Morrisette, but Lisa Marie is much easier on the eyes. Enjoy.
Lisa Marie Presley – IDIOT video
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Britney Spears to Invent Time Machine?
Jun 27th
This movie will be epic. In the movie “The Yellow Star of Sophia and Eton,” Britney Spears will play the lead role of Sophia who heroically creates a time machine out of spare gum wrappers, old twine and a used Hyundai, and uses it to travel backwards in time to Germany during World War Two. There she visits a concentration camp where, she thinks, she will learn how to “think about stuff really really hard” but finds instead a bunch of skinny Jews.
“Ya’ll ain’t got nuthin’ better than stripes to wear??! Dang!” she declares. She then goes on to fall in love with a Jew in the concentration camp named Eton and during a love scene where she dry-humps Eton, shouts, “Don’t squeeze me so tight, you’ll crush my cigarettes, Dang!”
In the end she and Eton both get shot by Nazis trying to use the time machine to escape. Seriously. This is too good to be made up. Well, I made up the dialogue. Check out Hot Air here. The National Ledger is quoted here:
…it is claimed a script for a film called The Yellow Star of Sophia and Eton has been handed to Britney to look at.
If she accepts the role, Britney will reportedly play the main role of Sophia LaMont, who creates a time machine and travels back to World War II where she meets a Jewish man called Eton at a concentration camp.
They then fall in love and travel back to the present day with the intention of getting married but they are both killed by Nazis.
FilmDrunk hilariously says:
Jeez, guys, tell us the ending why don’t you. So basically, it’s like Where the Red Fern Grows but with Jews instead of coon hounds, and with time traveling Nazis. But otherwise exactly the same. Britney was reportedly intrigued by the idea of a “concentration camp,” but she’ll probably be really sad when she finds out what it is…
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...King of Pop Put Down Like a Sick Cat
Jun 26th
Rumors say that Michael Jackson was injected with liquid demerol, and it put him in respiratory and cardiac arrest. Yep, that’s how you put down a sick cat.
Jackson was a product of an abused childhood that filled him with self loathing. This led him to mangle his own face with needless plastic surgery, and his arrested development, evidenced by his high-pitched voice, mentally led him to create an imaginary children’s playworld where he viewed himself as the Faerie King. Jackson’s personal nightmare is now over, as he was euthanized by his personal doctor. I just wish they would stop playing Michael Jackson videos on the news.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Twilight in Nags Head
Jun 25th
The vacation week is winding down and tonight the family went for a stroll down the Nags Head Fishing Pier where everyone was pulling in fish. Cartney was jumping up and down with excitement everytime he saw one of the critters flopping on the wooden planks. Maybe we can go fishing in a few years.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...OMG Michael Jackson Died!
Jun 25th
I just heard the news that Michael Jackson had died.
I’m not sure how it happened right now, but I sure hope the little boy attached to Michael Jackson’s penis is alright.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Exorcising the Black Gay Demons
Jun 25th
Drudge had a link today to a video here showing a newscast that is covering the gay exorcism of a black teenager. Of course homosexuals are angry because they are losing a member of their own, and those glory holes aren’t going to staff themselves, right?
Awesome artwork by Dale Grimshaw, titled Exorcism
You can watch the video, which is hilarious as the black kid is writhing around acting like the gay devils are coming out of him. But note the outrage of the gay activists, who give the epic quotes in bold in the story below from Fox61 here:
A Connecticut church posted a controversial video on YouTube that raised questions about the treatment of children by a leader of a gay and lesbian teen mentoring group among others.
The video features church elders performing what looks like an exorcism, of what they refer to in the video as “homosexual demons.” At the same time a teen writhing on the ground as the adults around him implore so called “homosexual demons” to get out.
For 20 minutes it continues with the boy in a near seizure, even vomiting. By the looks of it, and the repeated references to his sexual orientation, it appears to be a gay exorcism.
Robin McHaelen runs a mentoring program for gay teens,True Colors, and says she knows of 5 other teens in Connecticut who’ve been subjected to “demon casting.”
She said, “What really freaked me out is the people who did that to that child wasn’t because they were trying to hurt him. They thought they were trying to help him, but I think it that they murdered his soul.”
Soul murdering??! Homosexuals are only outraged because it is Christians doing this. They never say anything about Scientologists who use Dianetics crap to cure homosexuality, nor do they protest Muslims who murder homosexuals by the truckload. But let a black minister try a little exorcism, and out come the rainbow pitchforks.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...This is Why the Joker Hates Gotham
Jun 24th
A little comic book humor from the FailBlog:
see more Fail Blog
A previous incident happened to Peter Parker here.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...9:30 AM Music: Jet – “She’s a Genius”
Jun 24th
I really like the band Jet but was quite disappointed with their last album. Since that album’s release they have been working on some new music and this one seems quite inspired. I love the driving bass line. Enjoy.
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