King of Pop Put Down Like a Sick Cat

Rumors say that Michael Jackson was injected with liquid demerol, and it put him in respiratory and cardiac arrest. Yep, that’s how you put down a sick cat.

Jackson was a product of an abused childhood that filled him with self loathing. This led him to mangle his own face with needless plastic surgery, and his arrested development, evidenced by his high-pitched voice, mentally led him to create an imaginary children’s playworld where he viewed himself as the Faerie King. Jackson’s personal nightmare is now over, as he was euthanized by his personal doctor. I just wish they would stop playing Michael Jackson videos on the news.