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Posts tagged worst way to die
Georgia Stowaway Discovered in Moscow
Jun 12th
A black man from Georgia stowed away on a jetliner by holding onto the landing gear. That was his last mistake. Crews in Moscow found his frozen body along with blood stains after seven additional flights.
From the WaTimes here:
An iFly jet made seven flights carrying a dead man in its wheel well before crews in Moscow discovered the body.
Maintenance workers noticed blood stains last Thursday on the plane’s main landing gear struts. After inspecting the wheel well they found the remains of a man carrying a Georgia passport.
“According to a preliminary conclusion, the Afro-American man died from freezing. The man was apparently flying without a ticket,” the Investigative Committee said on its website.
Authorities say the stowaway boarded the plane four days before he was found dead.
There is no heat in the wheel wells, and its freezing at 38,000 feet. What a dumb way to go.
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Loading ...Suicide by iPhone and Subway
Jun 5th
Sometimes you just have to let things go. Especially if that thing is your iPhone that you dropped on the Subway tracks. Just let it go. Don’t jump onto the tracks to retrieve it like this guy from the Bronx.
From CBS here:
A man was killed by a subway train in the Bronx early Saturday, after he jumped down onto the tracks to grab a cell phone he had dropped.
The 22-year-old man jumped onto the tracks and was killed by the No. 2 train at White Plains Road and East 241st Street, in the Wakefield section of the Bronx.
I get it. You don’t want to lose your high score on Angry Birds. Just don’t jump onto the rail tracks.
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Mama Always Told Richard Swanson Not To Play Ball In the Street
May 15th
Richard Swanson quit his job and sold his house and was going to dribble a soccer ball all the way from Seattle to Brazil as a charity stunt. He became roadkill, but at least they saved his soccer ball.
From FoxNews here:
A Seattle man trying to dribble a soccer ball 10,000 miles to Brazil in time for the 2014 World Cup died Tuesday after being hit by a pickup truck on the Oregon Coast.
Police in Lincoln City, Ore., said 42-year-old Richard Swanson was hit at about 10 a.m. while walking south along U.S. Highway 101 near the city limits. He was declared dead at a hospital. The driver has not been charged.
Police said Palmer’s soccer ball was recovered.
Of course everyone is calling this guy an hero for bumming naps on couches and walking to Brazil with a stupid ball. He decided to become a bum who chased his stupid ball into the path of an oncoming truck. Doesn’t sound very heroic to me.
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Shocker: Dalton Newhouse Fries Himself Shooting Down Electric Lines
May 13th
Meet Dalton Newhouse. He’s a West Virginia Trailer-dwelling gun nut and loves to shoot anything with feathers or fur. He is such a great shot that he can even shoot down high tension power lines. His idea to shoot down power lines to sell the copper worked out about as well as you could imagine for this genius. Dalton went to those happy hunting grounds in the sky when he picked up the power line and ate 50,000 volts.
From the Charleston Gazette here:
22-year-old Dalton Newhouse of Oak Hill, and an accomplice, used a rifle to shoot down a high-tension power transmission line, police said. They planned to strip the line of its copper wiring and sell it.
When Newhouse picked up the wire, it killed him instantly, according to a news release. His accomplice was identified as Charles Raymond Norris, 22, of Oak Hill, who was arrested Wednesday.
Norris was charged with attempting to commit a felony, conspiracy to commit a felony and disruption of a public utility.
He was arraigned in Fayette County Magistrate Court, where he posted his own bail.
Appalachian Power spokesman Phil Moye said about 50 customers were without electricity for three hours. He called copper thefts a “tragedy” and urged would-be thieves to think twice.
Its a real shame if this idiot left family behind but he really got what he deserved. Man, this blog post just reminded me that I need to get batteries for my Blu-Ray remote.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Another Drunk Chick Falls Off the Party Bus
May 6th
When I first saw this story I thought I was re-reading an earlier story I wrote about here. But this is new. Another drunk girl got hammered and managed to fall off a party bus and get herself killed. As an analyst, if anything happens once, its an anomaly. Twice, its a trend. And this is a lulzy trend.
From the DailyMail here:
A 26-year-old mother has been killed after she fell out of a party bus on Saturday evening and was hit by three cars on a highway.
Jamie Frecks had been celebrating a friend’s bachelorette party when she tumbled out of an emergency door into traffic on Interstate 35 in Kansas City. She was with 15 girlfriends on the bus when the door opened around 10pm. The 26-year-old has hit by three vehicles, two of which did not stop.
She was pronounced dead at the scene.
Miss Frecks had given birth to her daughter Emma two months previously and had been enjoying her first night out with friends when the tragedy occurred.
She was planning to marry her fiancé next year after becoming engaged on Christmas Day. Miss Frecks also hoped to return to college, with dreams of becoming an art teacher, friends said.
I bet her 15 friends feel really guilty about making her down all those tequila shots now, huh? She was probably trying to do a pole dance while the bus was moving and slipped. And she was going to be an art teacher? Thank goodness she wasn’t going to be a nuclear physicist or a neurosurgeon. I think society will do just fine in her absence.
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Ground Mexican 4.99 Per Pound
May 3rd
A man cleaning a meat grinder at a meat packing plant in Oregon somehow managed to fall into the grinder where he was chopped, sliced, and packaged for sale.
From CBS here:
A man has died at an Oregon packaging plant after falling into a meat grinder.
Clackamas County authorities say 41-year-old Hugo Avalos-Chanon, a contract employee for DCS Sanitation Management, fell into a meat blender at Interstate Meat Distributors while cleaning.
An employee pressed the emergency switch in an effort to stop the blender, but it was too late. Dr. Cliff Young, deputy state medical examiner, tells that Avalos-Chanon died from “blunt-force injuries and chopping wounds.”
Darrin Hoy, president of Interstate Meat Distributors, called it an “extremely unfortunate incident.”
Well the article doesn’t say if he was cleaning the meat blender itself or if he slipped and fell into it while cleaning something else but dayam, what a way to go. Someone needs to review the safety procedures about working around active equipment.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Gitmo Lawyer Becomes An Hero
May 2nd
Well this is a good start:
Gitmo Attorney Dead in Apparent Suicide… drudge.tw/17zUNBI
— DRUDGE REPORT (@DRUDGE_REPORT) May 2, 2013
From RT here:
An American lawyer representing detainees at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp has been found dead in an apparent suicide.
The body of Andy P. Hart, a 38-year-old US federal public defender, was found last week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound. According to Truthout, an investigative blog, news of the attorney’s death came only this Wednesday from an investigator working on Guantanamo detainees’ habeas corpus petitions. That investigator requested anonymity.
According to court documents, Hart had previously represented Kahlid Saad Mohammed, a 39-year-old Guantanamo detainee from Saudi Arabia who was transferred back to his home country in 2009 after being identified as having only “low-level” terrorist affiliation.
Perhaps most notably, Hart was assigned to defend Mohammed Rahim al-Afghani, one of 16 detainees at Guantanamo which the US government has designated as “high-value.” Al-Afghani, thought to be Osama bin Laden’s translator, was detained by the CIA and allegedly tortured prior to his arrival in Cuba in 2008.
Of course conspiracy theorists are going to come out of the woodwork now that this crusading lawyer shot himself. Leftists are already trying to connect this suicide to Dick Cheney.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Watch Out for Beavers!
Apr 11th
Some poor idiot in Belarus managed to get himself killed by a small forest mammal with a paddle for a tail. An aggressive beaver bit a man to death.
From Sky here:
A fisherman has been bitten to death by a beaver after trying to take its photograph.
The man was on a fishing trip at Lake Shestakov in Belarus with two friends when they spotted the animal on the side of the road.
He stopped so that he could take a picture but as he approached the beaver it pounced on him, biting him in the thigh.
His friends attempted to stem the flow of blood from the wound but the animal’s bite had severed a main artery and the man bled to death.
Beaver attacks are rare and according to experts those animals that do go for humans are usually rabid.
Remember when men would hunt beavers for their pelts? Somewhere in Belarus, a beaver is wearing some dude’s ass for a hat.
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Yet Another Metro Suicide
Feb 13th
If you are an attention whore, the ultimate way to off yourself to gain the most attention is to commit gruesome spectacular suicide in front of bystanders, while also creating a massive inconvenience to thousands of people. It happens quite regularly in the DC Metro area- people jump off the Woodrow Wilson bridge during rush hour, and several people like to jump in front of the Metro Trains, stalling subway traffic for hours.
From WTOP here:
Green and Yellow line trains are single tracking between Mt Vernon Sq and Archives with delays in both directions due to a person struck by train at Gallery Place.
The incident occurred at approximately 8:00 a.m. when an adult male placed himself in the path of an arriving northbound train. The incident appears to be intentional.
Customers should expect delays in both directions on Green & Yellow Line. Yellow Line customers in Virginia should consider using Blue Line as alternate.
The surest way to ensure everyone hates you and whatever your life stood for is to cause a traffic delay in the DC area during rush hour. That’s why no one bothers to post the names of suicide victims who dive under Metro trains.
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No Bathrooms on Subway Cars
Jan 16th
An idiot killed himself in New York by trying to drop a deuce between cars of a moving train. He fell between the cars and was run over. No word on what he intended to use as toilet paper.
From NBC here:
A 31-year-old man defecating between cars on the uptown 6 train was killed when he fell onto the tracks and was struck by the train he was riding.
Witnesses tell police the victim had been defecating between the cars when he fell just after 4 p.m. as the train was leaving the 125th Street station.
I’m pretty sure that there are restrooms at most subway stations. But this clown thought he’d be disgusting and frankly, will not be missed.
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Happy 2013, Here’s Your STAMPEDE!
Jan 1st
A bunch of Africans gathered at the local soccer stadium to stare in awe at the magic of New Year’s Eve fireworks, and then they promptly stampeded to get somewhere else, killing 60 and injuring over 200. Like where the hell were they going? Even when they got there, they’d still be in freakin’ AFRICA!
From Foxnews here:
A crowd stampeded after leaving a New Year’s fireworks show early Tuesday in Ivory Coast’s commercial center, killing 61 people — many of them youths — and injuring more than 200.
Thousands had gathered at the Felix Houphouet Boigny Stadium in Abidjan’s Plateau district to see the fireworks. After the show, the crowds poured onto the Boulevard de la Republic by the Hotel Tiama at about 1 a.m.
Most of those killed were between 8 and 15 years old. Hours after the stampede, soldiers patrolled the site, where victims’ clothes, shoes and other debris littered the street. State TV showed traumatic scenes: a woman sobbed in the back of an ambulance; another was bent over on the side of the street, apparently in pain; and another, barely conscious and wearing only a bra on her upper body, was hoisted up by rescuers.
This is not Ivory Coast’s first stadium tragedy. In 2009, 22 people died and over 130 were injured in a stampede at a World Cup qualifying match at the Houphouet Boigny stadium. The stadium, which officially holds 35,000, was overcrowded at the time of the disaster.
A year later, two people were killed and 30 wounded in a stampede at a municipal stadium during a reggae concert in Bouake.
Getting crushed in a stampede is an awful way to go, but it seems these folks in Ivory Coast just don’t learn their lessons. How many more stampedes will they have before self-absorbed Hollywood douchebags ban together to make a shitty black and white video chiding Africans for stampeding?
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Homeless Man Recycles Himself
Dec 13th
A 41 Year Old drug-addicted loser in Fort Worth, TX tried to sleep off his drug-haze inside a dumpster. He awoke when the trash truck came to take him and his buddies, the coffee grounds and banana peels to the landfill.
From CBS here:
A 41-year-old man has died of injuries received when the garbage bin in which he was sleeping was emptied into a trash compactor in Fort Worth.
The man apparently was seeking shelter from the cold early Wednesday morning when a garbage truck lifted the bin in which he was sleeping and emptied it into its compactor. Officer Sharron Neal says workers stopped the compractor when the man began to scream. He was in cardiac arrest when he was removed but revived. He died later while having surgery at John Peter Smith Hospital.
The Tarrant County Medical Examiner’s Office identified the man as Chad Adams and said he died of crush injuries to his pelvis.
The company that owns the trash truck, Progressive Waste Solutions, describes the accident as “unfortunate” and is investigating.
Isn’t everything with a “progressive” label really something to do with garbage? Its nice to see that at least one city knows how to dispose of their homeless properly.
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Winner Winner Cockroach Dinner
Nov 26th
Life is all about the decisions you make. Take Edward Archbold here, for instance. Eddie was a tattoo aficionado and also loved his long hair and tats, but hey, he was in south Florida, so I guess he tried to blend in. He was also crazy about snakes and reptiles. He entered a competition to win a python, and the winner was determined by the person who ate the most cockroaches. Shortly into the competition, Eddie barfed into his own mouth, choked on cockroach carapace and vomit, and died. Ah, decisions.
From CBS here:
A Florida man choked to death after downing dozens of live roaches during a contest earlier this year in which the grand prize was a python, according to an autopsy released Monday.
Edward Archbold, 32, of West Palm Beach died as a result of “asphyxia due to choking and aspiration of gastric contents,” according to the report released by the Broward County medical examiner’s office. It said his airway was obstructed by the roach body parts, which caused him to not be able to breathe.
Lab tests for drugs came back negative. The death has been ruled an accident.
At least Eddie died the same way Jimi Hendrix did- choking on his own vomit. But people will remember Jimi.
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A Clown Did Something Funny At Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
Nov 23rd
A clown was in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade doing his normal routine of terrifying children with his big feet, red nose and balloon animals when something really funny happened: He dropped dead.
From the NYPost here:
A 67-year-old man dressed as a clown went into cardiac arrest and died in front of throngs of horrified spectators at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade yesterday.
Robert Blasetti, 67, was with his wife, Irene, who was wearing a similar outfit and who desperately tried to revive him by administering CPR.
The tragedy happened as the two were making balloon animals at Sixth Avenue and West 39th St.
“All of a sudden he collapsed and fell on his back. People came to him right away. It didn’t look like he was breathing. People started pumping his chest,’’ said witness Tuvia Yamnik.
The onlookers weren’t horrified that the man dropped dead- they were horrified that he was dressed like a clown. And Pro Tip: When doing mouth to mouth on a clown, be forewarned: Clowns taste funny.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...2 PM Music: “Dumb Ways to Die”
Nov 20th
This video has had 10 million hits in the past couple of days. Apologies if you’ve seen it before. If only this song had come out before the Veteran’s Day Parade Train accident in Texas?
They definitely left out riding a parade trailer and parking on the tracks.
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Death by Heavy Metal
Oct 30th
A Pastor at a Texas church was murdered by an electric guitar wielding man after he crashed his car into the pastor’s church.
From the Dailymail here:
A North Texas congregation is reeling after an attacker rammed a car into a church wall, chased the pastor, and beat him to death with an electric guitar.
Police told reporters they didn’t know why the unidentified suspect attacked Rev. Danny Kirk Sr., founding pastor of the Greater Sweethome MIssionary Baptist Church.
The unidentified assailant apparently drove his car into the church wall on purpose shortly before noon. He then began to attack Kirk in the parking lot before chasing him into the church, according to Forest Hill Police Chief Dan Dennis.
When police arrived they found the suspect striking Kirk with an electric guitar they believe was already in the church. When police arrived they had to use a Taser to subdue the man, handcuffed him, and locked him in their patrol car.
I’m pretty sure murder by heavy metal is a frying offense in Texas. What a horrifying way to go.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...All New Bumblebee Tuna Now With Fresh Latino Taste
Oct 18th
Filed under the worst way to die- A Latino man somehow managed to get himself killed in a giant steamer cooker at the Bumblebee Tuna plant.
From Colorlines here:
A 62-year-old man was recently found dead inside a cooking device called a “steamer machine” at a Bumble Bee Tuna factory in Los Angeles. Paramedics declared him dead at the scene.
Jose Malena died last Thursday when he became trapped inside the industrial-size pressure cooker and his family claims the company has offered no explanation to them.
According to police records local authorities received a 911 call from the Bumble Bee plant Thursday morning to report an industrial accident. When officers arrived, they found the man dead.
Craig Harvey, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County coroner’s office told the AP the man died in a device described as a pressure cooker.
The company has only issued a short statement expressing their condolences.
“The entire Bumble Bee Foods family is saddened by the tragic loss of our colleague, and our thoughts and prayers are with the Melena family,” Pat Menke, the company’s vice president of human resources, said in a statement.
Tuna with salsa and refried beans is actually pretty good.
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Transgendered Freak Murders Woman with Ass Implants
Sep 24th
Morris Garner, in the yellow jumpsuit below, got himself a sexchange and then advertised cheap implants on Craigslist. A woman in Mississippi took this person up on its offer, and Garner injected so much silicone into her ass that it killed her. During the autopsy, the silicon goo poured from her flesh, covering the medical examiner’s shoes.
From FoxNews here:
A woman had little chance of surviving an illegal cosmetic procedure because the silicone-like substance that was injected in her buttocks caused blood clots that killed her, an investigator testified Monday.
52-year-old Morris Garner, who has had gender changing procedures and goes by the name Tracey Lynn Garner, is charged with “depraved-heart murder” in the March death of 37-year-old Karima Gordon.
Garner remains jailed without bond.
Depraved-heart murder, which is defined in Mississippi as a “callous disregard for human life” that causes death. It carries a life sentence.
Gordon became ill within 30 minutes of leaving Garner’s house in Jackson after the injection, but decided to try to make it home before seeking medical treatment. He said her chance of surviving the injections was small, anyway. The substance has been sent for testing, but it is similar to silicone.
The medical examiner said “brain surgery would probably be a less invasive surgery than having to remove the buttocks of this victim all the way down to the meat and bone to get all of this substance out of her.”
“The doctor told me there were needle marks in the victim and they cut the victim open. Excessive amount of this material ran all over the floor, all over their shoes, all over the place.”
Authorities have said Gordon wanted to be a model and found Garner through the Internet and a third person known as “Pebbles.”
Garner is not registered as a doctor or nurse but has worked as a floral and interior designer.
Don’t get your plastic surgery performed by someone you’ve contacted on Craigslist. A stupid woman allowed her vanity, gullibility and poor judge of character get her killed.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Suicide By Tiger
Sep 22nd
A crazy man tried to commit suicide at the Bronx Zoo by jumping off the monorail into the Tiger Pit. The tiger mauled him pretty good, but the man managed to survive.
From CBS here:
A 25-year-old man suffered multiple injuries Friday after he intentionally jumped into the tiger’s den at the Bronx Zoo.
The victim, identified as David Villalobos of Putnam County, suffered puncture wounds to his back and sustained a broken ankle and broken arm in the incident.
Villalobos was rushed to Jacobi Hospital in critical condition after facing off with a roughly 400-pound Siberian tiger named “Bashuta” for about 10 minutes, 1010 WINS’ Sonia Rincon reported.
The incident happened around 3:45 p.m. while Villalobos was riding the monorail. The man may have had a mental illness and that he was screaming “I want to die!” when he jumped off the monorail.
Life already sucked enough for Villalobos to attempt suicide. Now he has the same shitty life but has the bonus of debilitating tiger wounds. Life’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
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Going to Hell in a Ghille Suit
Aug 28th
You know how they weed out the stupid in Montana? Meth and running over ‘Squatches. Randy Lee Tenley thought it would be a good idea to wear a ghille suit to pretend to be a Sasquatch and play in traffic. Reported last words were “Hey ya’ll, hold my beer and watch this!”
From the InterLake here:
A man dressed in a military-style “Ghillie suit” who was attempting to provoke a Bigfoot sighting was struck by two vehicles and killed on U.S. 93 South of Kalispell Sunday night.
“He was trying to make people think he was Sasquatch so people would call in a Sasquatch sighting,” Montana Highway Patrol Trooper Jim Schneider said. “You can’t make it up. I haven’t seen or heard of anything like this before. Obviously, his suit made it difficult for people to see him.”
The Flathead County Sheriff’s Office identified the man as , 44, of Kalispell.
Randy Lee Tenley’s motivations were ascertained during interviews with friends who were not in the immediate area but were nearby when the man was struck at about 10:30 p.m.
“Alcohol may have been a factor,” Schneider said. “Impairment is up in the air.”
“He was in the right-hand lane of travel and the vehicle was unable to avoid him and struck him,” Schneider said of the first vehicle driven by a 15-year-old girl from Somers.
A second vehicle driven by a 17-year-old Somers girl also struck Tenley as he laid on the highway.
Tenley was pronounced dead at the scene.
Its hilarious that a dumbass would check out of this world pretending to be a Bigfoot, but its rather horrifying that he will be causing a 15 year old young driver to have nightmares for the rest of her life over this stunt.
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