I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Posts tagged drunk
Pixar’s Lucky Lounge
May 19th
This is an awesome story about creative people converting a crawlspace into something legendary.
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Loading ...The Drunk Whitney Houston Hologram
May 10th
Whitney Houston made a surprising visit to an NBA game. Or was it her hologram?
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Shocker! Drunk Stumbles on 3rd Rail While Pissing
Apr 23rd
After a night of drinking, Zachary McKee jumped down into the railway tracks of the Chicago “L” Railway to take a leak and fell over and fried his dumb ass on the electrified 3rd rail. Those 600 Volts of direct current probably cooked his internal organs instantly.
From CBS here:
An Indiana man died overnight, after coming into contact with the electrified third rail as he urinated on the Purple Line ‘L’ tracks in Evanston.
The man was at the South Boulevard Purple Line stop around 11 p.m. Sunday with two other people when he came into contact with the third rail.
The man, Zachary McKee, 27, of Ossian, Ind., was pronounced dead at Saint Francis Hospital in Evanston at 11:52 p.m.
McKee had climbed down to the tracks to urinate when he fell onto the third rail.
The program “Mythbusters” has concluded that urinating directly onto the third rail is unlikely to cause death in itself. In fact, some purported cases of such deaths are actually believed to have involved direct bodily contact with the rail, as appears to be the case in the Sunday night incident.
Hey, how ’bout that shout out to the MythBusters for the death of this dude?
DailyMail proves he was drunky drunk-drunk.
According to McKee’s Twitter page, he had travelled to Evanston to watch a Chicago Cubs baseball game at Wrigley Field.
He was staying with friends in Chinatown and was enjoying a weekend of heavy drinking.
All u can drink, play ball. twitter.com/zacckk0161/sta…
— Zachary Mckee (@zacckk0161) April 22, 2012
There’s no stopping us right now
— Zachary Mckee (@zacckk0161) April 22, 2012
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Adam Savage, Geek Storyteller
Jul 4th
This is just one of those great YouTube recommendations that pops up because you happened to see a related video once. Adam Savage from Mythbusters tells a story about puking in Italy and some of his wishes.
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Mixing Vodka and Team Jacob Membership
Jun 9th
A 20 year old kid in Ohio drank some vodka at a campground and then began to act violent to animals and other campers. When the cops showed up with a net, he claimed he was a werewolf.
From y100 here:
Over the Memorial Day weekend, deputies were dispatched to the Timber Ridge Campground in Brownhelm Twp. after getting reports of an out of control male. The male caller reported his “best friend” was being very violent with people and animals.
Deputies took 20-year-old Thomas Stroup into custody for underage consumption. Stroup initially growled at deputies, then later told them he was scratched by a wolf in the woods and blacks out when the moon comes out.
Stroup appeared to have consumed “copious amounts of vodka” while at the campground.
I think this kid has more than one wolf tshirt in his closet.
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Girls Are No Smarter in 21st Century
Mar 30th
My pal and I had a brief and uncomfortable discussion in front of our wives about how stupid most single women still are in the 21st century. We both agreed that single women are still dumb. Most single chicks are largely incapable of making good decisions on their own. Given equality they don’t seem to handle it well. And now, as further proof, a woman is given equality, a good job, a cell phone and, apparently, lots of free shots, to prove how stupid she is.
This is a classic example of how a chick is given the brush-off because she is unattractive/annoying/drunk and the guy just pokes fun at her to watch her make a fool of herself. Of course the man has heard of Ebay. He faked that he was getting ready to shit his drawers just to get away from your annoying ass. And of course you are single. Get used to telling men that because you are going to stay that way for a very long time.
So why did Ryan give his number to you? Obviously, he hoped he would capture your dumbass making a fool of yourself so he could upload it to the Internet. Thanks to Patton Oswalt, aka Remy from Ratatouille for the link.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...2 PM Music: The Hundred in the Hands – “Pigeons”
Oct 16th
Not sure why its called pigeons, and this usually is not my type of music, but its enjoyable enough. Best though is the chick who gets herself roofied at a party, vomits and begins to hallucinate that she is barfing fireworks. She ends up getting hit by a car and wakes up on a roof, presumably with a killer hangover and a venereal disease.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Mom Busted by the Cops for DUI, Poops Pants
Jun 10th
Okay, getting pulled by the cops can be a little scary sometimes, but this lush of a welfare Mom tells the cops she not only had too much to drink but also ate way too much corn.
I hope the daughter is being raised by more responsible people now. Thanks to Trench at BadBreeders for the story.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 101 to HomeSchool: Alcoholic Band Teacher Won’t Strand Your Children at Amusement Park
Jun 1st
A band director in Texas named Mark Pierce got blitzed while he was supposed to be chaperoning a bunch of Junior High School kids on a trip to a Six Flags. He got himself ejected from the park for being a drunkard and belligerent fool. He finally managed to get the kids back home, but these parents in the video are pissed. Check it out.
Well, I guess getting a busload of kids stranded at an amusement park is better than banging first chair clarinet.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Free Vodka at PETA Meetings
Mar 28th
PUNXSUTAWNEY is where they have that giant weather prodicting underground rodent and also where PETA meetings end with copious shots of vodka. After one recent meeting, a member tried to resuscitate a North American marsupial that is famous for playing dead.
From CBS here:
State police have charged a central Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen giving mouth-to-mouth “resuscitation” to a long-dead opossum along a highway.
Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal along Route 36 in Oliver Township Thursday about 3 p.m. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance, while another saw the mouth-to-mouth attempt.
Levier says Wolfe was “extremely intoxicated” and “did have his mouth in the area of the animal’s mouth, I guess.”
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 277 to HomeSchool: Drunken Special Ed Teacher Won’t Take Your Kid for a Joyride at 2AM
Sep 22nd
Meet Valerie Roesler. She is 27 and spent a long time at college to become a teacher. And then a bit more time to be certified as a special education teacher. But she threw all of that time and money away when she took a 15 year old kid out for a drunken joy ride at 2 AM Sunday morning.
From Fox here with thanks to Cathy:
A 27-year-old Fairfax County school teacher is facing charges after she was caught in a car with a 15-year-old boy early Sunday morning.
Valerie Roesler of Alexandria is charged with being drunk in public and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Roesler and the 15 year old were found by police in a 2008 Mitsubishi Lancer parked in the 7900 block of Gunston Hill Lane just before 2 a.m. on Sunday. Roesler was drunk.
The boy had left home without his parents’ knowledge.
Roesler, who is a first-year special education teacher at Hayfield Secondary School, met the boy earlier this year, but he is not a student at the school where she is employed. Roesler was arrested and taken to the Fairfax County Adult Detention Center, where she was charged.
She was probably trying to get her rape on. Special education teachers are always in heat.
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(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 6) Loading ...Drunken Clown Smashes Clown Car
May 24th
A woman in her 50′s was arrested for drunkenly smashing her car into a parked vehicle when she was on her way to do evil clown things to children. When the cops arrested her she had a blood alcohol content of .252!
From WTOV here:
Patricia Ingalls is the clown who Wheeling Police arrested for drunken driving late Friday after she left the scene of an accident.
Ingalls said that she’s sorry that the children she went to entertain witnessed her get taken into custody.
“I’m not allowed to drink in costume and I should have never went because I was too upset,” said Ingalls.
Ingalls was arrested and charged with driving under the influence and fleeing the scene of an accident after she arrived at an event to entertain children. She said she drank before getting to the kids — but after the crash.
She blew a .252 blood alcohol content, more than triple the legal limit during the Breathalyzer test while being arrested.
Ingalls has been a clown for 17 years now, but she said she disappointed the children as she was led away in a police cruiser in handcuffs. “They were all hanging on me and saying, ‘Don’t take the clown,” said Ingalls.
To really appreciate the whackiness of this old ugly ass clown’s quote, you have to hear it for yourselves. She sounded like she smokes a carton of unfiltered camels per day and bleated out “Oh Gawd, don’t take the clown!” at the end of the video clip on the website.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 877 to HomeSchool: Marketing Teacher Won’t Take Your Cheerleader Daughter to the Gay Bar and Get Her Drunk
Apr 19th
Lori Epperson has only been teaching a short while. Her second year on the job and she decides that somehow, taking four cheerleaders to a gay bar to get drunk while watching men strip- on a school night, no less- would be a good idea.
From Cincinatti.com here:
The Butler Tech teacher who took four Edgewood High School cheerleaders to a gay strip bar regrets her actions. Marketing teacher Lori Epperson resigned Thursday after being investigated by the career school for taking the girls in February to a Dayton gay bar featuring male dancers.
According to the April 10 letter the 37-year-old Epperson apologized and explained what happened that night.
The girls, ages 18 and 17, “wanted to go to a gay establishment,” Epperson wrote. “They continued to push the issue and I told them if they were that set on going I would prefer they go with me.”
Epperson contended the girls’ parents gave permission once she assured them there would be no drinking.
Once there, she wrote, the girls’ hands were stamped marking them as underage. However, the girls went upstairs where they were able to get drinks.
“After about 15 minutes, I went to look for them. They had found someone that was a brother of someone they knew. He bought them shots and cosmopolitans – a very strong drink. I told them we’re leaving because they disobeyed me by drinking,” she recounted. One of the girls was “found in the bathroom throwing up” and had to be carried by Epperson to the car. She wrote that she “drove them home, lecturing the whole way.”
What on earth could she have lectured these future strippers cheerleaders about? Beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, never fear?
Blog of Hilarity has this take on the situation:
I should warn Ms. Epperson that the “The underaged girl was asking for it” defense rarely works, at least in my experiences.
Girls, it’s inappropriate for you to do things like this. Cheerleaders have a very high standard of excellence, primarily involving spelling out animal names rhythmically and getting deep dicked by a star high school quarterback who’s going to end up working at a Denny’s. … Shameful.
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