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Posts tagged fat
Letting This BlogSpam Stay
Mar 19th
As a popular WordPress blogger, I get inundated with pingback spam from other online resources trying to take advantage of my keyword rankings to promote their own content. Everything from furniture to nailpolish to zombie makeup. I have to delete up to a dozen pingback comments per day. But I’m letting this one stay.
So if you’ve got gigantic man-tits like Fat-ass Barney Frank, this pingback spam is for you. I think maybe CheesePizza guy and @Myrcurial could benefit from this piece of fortuitous spam.
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Global Warming Makes You Fat
Mar 13th
Junk Science is piling atop of junk science. A bunch of Danes are now suggesting that the reason why people get fat as they get older over the past few decades is because of the increase in Carbon Dioxide. But lets not forget that the CO2 levels were wildly exaggerated in order to support the false myth that the oceans were going to boil over and flood the world.
Whole Lotta CO2 in this here cake!
From ScienceNordic here:
Danish researchers have announced a theory that may not only explain why people all over the world are getting fatter and fatter, but also warn of the serious consequences for life on Earth of continued pollution of the atmosphere by CO2 emissions.
In itself, the theory is quite simple: CO2 contributes to making us fat.
The theory arose several years ago, when Lars-Georg Hersoug studied the development of obesity among people who had been followed over a number of years, Hersoug was surprised to see that both fat and thin people taking part in the studies over a 22-year period had put on weight – and the increase was proportionately the same.
Orexins – which are neuropeptide hormones – in the brain stimulate wakefulness and energy expenditure. These hormones may be affected by CO2, and this can cause us to go to bed later, affecting our metabolism so it is easier for us to put on weight. But orexins are also involved in the stimulation of food intake.
This is nuttier than CO2 causing glaciers to melt and killing polar bears. Now we have a new voodoo brain chemical affected by CO2 in the air? Bullshit. People put on weight as they age and become less active. The science is only hard when you have to make stuff up to support a whacky theory.
So why would they want to invent a new stupid theory involving CO2? If liberals can’t get us to switch to clean energy and give up driving and electricity, maybe they can control us by forcing us all onto a special diet.
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Attention Seeking Fat Slob Begs for Help on YouTube
Mar 4th
Meet humongous fattie Robert Gibbs. Only 23 years old and he weighs close to 800 pounds. He has bed sores because he’s too big and fat to even get up and move. Somehow he managed to get his fat-assed fingers on a laptop to upload a pathetic video begging to be on TV’s Dr. Phil Show, the Biggest Loser or other reality show. Seems like his appetite for attention is second only to his appetite for big macs.
From CBS here:
A 700-pound Livermore man’s plea for help to lose weight has become a viral sensation on YouTube in less than 24 hours. Robert Gibbs, who turned 23 on Friday, said he is a prisoner in his own body.
“I spend most of my days right here, watching TV.” Gibbs said from his couch. “I have to slide forward to get off this couch. I’m just trapped, and there’s no way out.”
On Thursday, something clicked for the Livermore man who has struggled with his weight since the age of four. He has also been hospitalized twice. As Gibbs was stuck in bed, he recorded the video.
Someone in his trailer is feeding this fat miserable slob. That person needs to stop bringing the slop buckets and Gibbs needs some serious mental health counselling in addition to a common sense diet. It reminds me of watching My 600 Pound life the other day on the freakshow network TLC. I tweeted during the show as did others, laughing at these ginormous fatties.
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Heading Out West But Don’t Know Why
Feb 26th
I’m Heading to a Security Conference in San Francisco and am really not looking forward to all the hippie foolishness that comes with that town- from the druggies to the bums to the Occupiers- they can make a beautiful town pretty ugly. And now this story- a fat bitch death-stomps a man’s car in San Francisco. No, its not Hillary Clinton. The photo was taken just before she caved in this man’s windscreen.
From the SFist here:
A woman described as “heavyset” and naked except for her shoes walked up on the hood of one man’s car, and stomped on his windshield. The man, John Knight, described the crazed woman as about 250 pounds, and he had a lot of explaining to do to his insurance company.
“They asked if the car was on the side of a street or in a parking lot,” says Knight. “I told them, ‘No, a naked woman just got on my hood and stomped on it.’ They didn’t really know what to make of it.”
Is Rosie O’Donnell off her meds?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Talking About Liposuction for Kids
Jan 5th
This jelly roll needs a few of those £7,000 vouchers to get the fat sucked out of her. And her miscreant child too.
And just think, in a mere 10 years she can get beat up by her first black boyfriend live on the Jerry Springer show.
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Fatty Chas Bono Booted Off Dancing With the Stars’ Fat Sexually Confused Kids Show
Oct 26th
Fatty sexually confused Chastity Bono went on TV to complain that she was ‘bullied’ by judges on the Dancing show because of her freakish weight. One judge even described her dancing as “penguin like.”
Stuff a fat tranny in a tuxedo, and she will look like a dancing penguin.
From the DailyMail here:
Chaz Bono braved controversy to be the first transgender contestant on Dancing with the Stars, but he revealed in an interview today that it was jibes over his weight that troubled him the most.
But it wasn’t from ignorant, faceless haters that the 42-year-old faced these attacks, but rather from the show’s judges, whom Bono has blasted as ‘disrespectful.’
The only child of Cher, 65 , and the late Sonny Bono, told Good Morning America: ‘I was called a basketball, a penguin, an Ewok, and I just didn’t appreciate it.’
Chastity Bono still has entire buffets she must eat, so I’m sure she isn’t done with whoring herself out on reality TV yet. What’s next? Biggest loser? Celebrity rehab to treat addiction to cheeseburgers? Oh, I know, she’s going back to her old gig: Racing Mario down that ice slide.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Who Wants to Motorboat?
Oct 4th
I think the tenderloin on this pig is a little on the fatty side.
see more Poorly Dressed
Betcha didn’t know that KFC lard is mined from here.
When one butt isn’t enough, bring a backup.
This one ate the elephant god.
Gotta catch a taxi to the local McCurry.
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Fatty Idiot Vampire in Florida
Sep 29th
Meet Stephanie Pistey. This fat idiot thinks she is part vampire and part werewolf. She is going to rot in jail for the rest of her life because she murdered an ex-boyfriend and drank his blood. She is happy with her life behind bars because she gets to watch reruns of Twilight on the prison TV. And she must be team Edward because the boy she killed was named Jacob.
From the MailOnline here:
A Florida teen at the centre of a gruesome murder case has revealed her possible bloodlust brought on by the fact she’s a vampire and werewolf.
Stephanie Pistey, 18, is charged with accessory to murder in the death of 16-year-old Jacob Hendershot. Hendershot was missing for weeks before his naked body was discovered in a storm drain in the town of Parker last month.
Cops said he was killed by Miss Pistey’s fiancé and others after she claimed Hendershot raped her.
Cracking a smile, she said: ‘I know this is going to be crazy. But I believe I’m a vampire – part vampire and part werewolf, so it’s not really a cult, it’s more just like my personality.’
On August 20, days after changing her relationship status to ‘engaged,’ she posted: ‘Yea were merryied and hes going to die hes the one that killed jacob hendershot well i let him i wanted the blood.’
She claimed her account had been hacked.
This fat Florida bitch is so white trash she was even arrested wearing a wolf tshirt. I kid you not.
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Michelle Obama Stuffs her Face at Shake Shack
Jul 11th
While her husband is lecturing everyone about eating peas, Michelle closed down a DC burger joint to scarf down a 1700 calorie burger, fries and chocolate shake. And by the way, the Atlas Shrugged logo for the ShakeShack website is just too much irony not to mention.
From the WaPo here via Jammie Wearing Fool:
First lady Michelle Obama ordered a whopper of a meal at the newly opened Washington diner Shake Shack during lunch on Monday.
The first lady, who’s made a cause out of child nutrition, ordered a ShackBurger, fries, chocolate shake and a Diet Coke while the street and sidewalk in front of the usually-packed Shake Shack were closed by security during her visit.
According to nutritional information on Shake Shack’s Web site, the meal amounted to 1,700 calories.
Obama, who launched the “Let’s Move” campaign to combat childhood obesity last year, has previously admitted to having an “obsession with french fries,” which she says are fine to indulge in occasionally. “It’s all about moderation,” Obama told reporters.
Hey, a big girl’s gonna eat. But I can’t quite see how this meal squares up against the stupid MyPlate.Gov diagram Michelle O’Fatass helped to design. I do see potatoes on the chart, but I don’t think they were supposed to be deep fried. And I guess you can call a chocolate shake dairy. And predictably, after shutting down a local eatery, Michelle Obama shutdown the White House toilets about 45 minutes later.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Fatty Au-Gratin
Jul 4th
TLC loves to have shows about freaky people. And how freaky is a fat chick who eats nothing but cheesy potatoes? I really love this woman’s half-sleeve tattoo and her reaction to cooked veggies.
And wow, this lady’s husband probably has to slather his boner with mashed potato flakes and queso to get some lovin’.
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Blogger Bob is as Fat and Smug as You’d Expect
May 18th
A cheap JC Penny suit and bad combover completes the picture of the mouthpiece of TSA, or as I call him, Chief Retard. His real name is Curtis Robert Burns, AKA TSA’s Blogger Bob, and he is a professional hired troll of the TSA. He smiles because he hates you.
From CNET here:
The Transportation Security Administration appears to have pulled off an Internet first: hiring the U.S. government’s most controversial spokesblogger.
All federal agencies have spokesmen. Some have blogs. But it’s the pseudonymous Blogger Bob who, more than anyone else, has come to represent the online voice and personality of his employer–not always with entirely successful results.
Internet fact checkers have accused Blogger Bob of eliding relevant facts about disputes involving the TSA. A Forbes.com column noted that Blogger Bob had curbed critical comments (and then subsequently permitted them). Reason Magazine has dubbed Blogger Bob someone who’s paid to “mock people harassed by TSA.”
Whenever a TSA agent fondles a child or a woman or an elderly person, its Bob’s cherished duty to protect the members of his retarded gestapo clan.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...World’s Fattest Liberal Spitting Mad over WI Election
Apr 8th
Most liberals at least exercise and eat well. Not so for Michael Moore. Between a huge meal of pasta and bacon-nutter sammiches, Michael Moore went off on Twitter because a liberal judge didn’t win an election.
Bitter, bitter defeat Michael Moore. Its sour, isn’t it?
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Michael Moore Thinks Obama Should Return the Nobel Prize
Mar 21st
Obama was in office for 8 minutes before someone stuck his name in the box for an opportunity to win cash and prizes in the Nobel Prize drawing. Now Michael Moore is bitter because he is a fat turd and wants Obama to ruturn his Nobel prize because he joined in a war because “everyone else is doing it.”
I love it when leftists become disenfranchised.
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Heart Attack Grill Diet Claims First Awesome Victim
Mar 4th
Blair River, the 575 pound spokesman for the “Heart Attack Grill” has bit the dust. No, it wasn’t a heart attack, you haters. He died of what is likely to be pneumonia. With a few complications due to weight one can assume. Check out this awesome video of him in action:
And with waitresses like this, whatta way to go!
From the AZ here:
Blair River was a big guy with a big heart.
River, who stood 6-foot-8 and weighed about 575 pounds, gained a measure of fame in the past year as spokesman for the Heart Attack Grill, a west Chandler restaurant that specializes in thick hamburgers and fries. He died on Tuesday at the age of 29.
The cause of death is currently unknown, but friends are speculating that it was the result of his contracting pneumonia after a bout with the flu.
And its also a sad day whenever the official restaurant of Belch.Com loses a valued member.
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Hilarious Emo Fatty Lesbian Cutter Sierra Tickner
Sep 21st
Some fat chick went on CBS 9 last night to complain that, although she is a gross fatty who looks like she went 9 rounds with Wolverine, there should be some type of support system that could have helped her to stop being fat, stupid and self-mutilating.
Sierra who lists herself as unsurprisingly a single lesbian on her facebook page, is really into World of Warcraft, manga, and loves songs by angry feminists. Oh, and she LOVES the razor blades.
Sierra, you know what you needed when you were 13 and cutting? this:
Now that her Dad has finally fulfilled her desire to be an attention whore by putting her “fail scars” on the nightly news, maybe she can get more self esteem by forcing herself to puke and becoming a bit skinnier. All the girls with zero self esteem are doing it.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TNG Lyrics As Sung by Fat Dork
Aug 23rd
Space- the final frontier. Where fat dorks borrow their mom’s video cameras to film themselves in their tripleXL Command Red shirts singing a made up song that poses as lyrics to Star Trek’s Next Generation Series.
This big boy has no idea about the Starfleet regs against eating triple beef burritos from Taco Bell. How did he get four pips on his collar? He’s clearly a yellow-shirted crewman at best. He looks more like the captain of the Axiom. Thanks to [GAS] for the hilarious video!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...When it Comes to Love and Pedicures, Fatties Must Pay More
Aug 23rd
A fat black woman in Georgia was so angry she almost skipped a snack when she was charged 5 Bucks extra for a pedicure. The owner explained that her fat ass was too strenuous for her salon chairs.
My wife used to work in a salon and she thought the surcharge was because the tiny Korean women “can’t lift those big ass legs to scrub those thick callouses” off their feet.
I don’t know why that woman wanted her toes to look pretty. Not like she could see them anyways.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...I’m THE Big Fat Panda!
Mar 28th
Seriously, why are these critters still not extincted yet? They have comically small children. They won’t have sex with each other to save their species. And they lose fights to tree branches.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...The Whole World Will Know How Fat You Are
Jan 29th
Now with the new wifi-enabled scale that interacts with your iPhone and Google Health, the whole world will know how fat you are and where to mail your donuts and pizza.
From the Reg here:
Not content with knowing where you go, both in real and cyber space, Google will soon know how much you weigh too – thanks to wi-fi-connected scales.
The scale in question come from Withings, and it was launched last year with connections to various fitness websites and an iPhone application. But now Withings has managed to integrate its monitoring software into Google Health, allowing users to share their current weight with the chocolate factory without leaving the comfort of their own bathroom.
Imagine receiving targeted advertising fliers in your mail based on your body mass index? Coupons for free donuts and barbecue sauce? Bring it. Coupons for yoga classes or yogurt because you’re a skinny minnie? Well, if that’s what you’re into. Not sure why anyone would be interested in this, but it exists.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Haitian Earthquake Causes Swedish Fatties to Fall on Their Ample Asses
Jan 15th
Those Haitian aftershocks are tough! It appears to have weakened the floors beneath a weight-watchers clinic in Sweden. And they say Americans are fat!
From the Telegraph here:
As the dieters queued to see how many pounds they had shed, the floor beneath them in the clinic in Växjö, in south-central Sweden, began to rumble, according to a report in The Local, Sweden’s English-language newspaper.
“We suddenly heard a huge thud; we almost thought it was an earthquake and everything flew up in the air. The floor collapsed in one corner of the room and along the walls,” one Weight Watchers participant told the Smålandsposten newspaper.
Soon, the fault lines spread around the room, and other sections of the floor gave way.
Somehow I don’t think the Red Cross is going to mobilize any emergency supplies to Swedish fatties in light of this catastrophe.
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