I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Posts tagged star trek
Dissecting the Star Trek Utopia
May 15th
Ever wonder how the Star Trek society overcame corporations, human greed and competition? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because the society evolved to no longer need it. I’m guessing that the first transporters were used to do away with all of the capitalists and staunch individuals who just weren’t “down” with the vision of a one world government.
Then came the conflict with Khan in the Eugenics Wars, then absolute poverty on a planetary scale, the nuclear war, and then First Contact with Vulcan. And the video below from Cracked gets it pretty much right.
Why The Star Trek Universe is Secretly Horrifying — powered by Cracked.com
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Loading ...Bill Shatner’s Fiery Dingle Dangle
Nov 17th
One good Star Trek post deserves another, and this time, its just in time for Thanksgiving!
Captain Kirk and the wrath of Butterball. Thanks to HotAir.
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Quark is a Proud One Percenter
Nov 17th
Saw this on George Takei’s Facebook page and laughed out loud.
Anyone who protested the Grand Nagus got a Fereginar Disrupter to the gut. And the complete rules of Acquisition are located here.
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Got the T-Shirt
Sep 1st
This one is awesome from RiptApparel.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...If Star Trek TNG Were a Sitcom
Aug 5th
Yeah, its another Star Trek post. Early last month, my wife and I discovered NetFlix had the Star Trek TNG series available. We spent a good portion of our downtime together over the past month or so (when I was home) watching the series, and remembering how much we enjoy it. So forgive me if it preoccupies my mind at times. The last Star Trek post about Scotty being a cat hoarder was actually taken from a bizarre dream I had about the subject. The dream was much worse than the post, BTW.
So if they renewed the Star Trek series and made it a buddy sitcom, would you watch?
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Scotty: Enterprise Chief Engineer and Cat Hoarder
Aug 4th
Not a lot of people know, but Lt. Commander Montgomery “Scotty” Scott was actually a drunken cat hoarder. His condition went mostly unnoticed while he was aboard the Enterprise because, as Chief Engineer and Transporter Tech, he was able to keep all of his hoarded sick pets stowed neatly in the matter/energy buffers aboard the ship.
Though the series creator Gene Roddenberry never directly reveals this side of the character, the clues are all there- the puffy red allergy-stricken eyes, and not to mention, the chronic transporter malfunctions due to the memory buffers being chronically full of digitized kitties. Once the problem became so bad that Captain Kirk was even split into two!
Keeping the cats in a stored buffer space came in handy, when years later, Scotty would use a similar trick to store himself in the transporter buffers after crashing on a Dyson’s sphere. This was a very difficult decision for him to do, because, in order to store his own pattern for so long, he had to clean the transporter memory buffers of some 30-plus years of cats, tribbles, and old space magazines he had been collecting that he had always meant to read but never got around to it.
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Boldly Going to School, Bus, Farm, Airport
Jul 6th
I think it would be awesome to get Fisher Price Little People like this. But my kid has the standard playsets, none of which features a Galaxy class or Constellation class Starship. Fisher Price, get on that, ok? Thanks.
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Finally! Now that Star Trek Boy Wonder Wil Wheaton Has Felt Violated, Maybe Something Will be Done About the TSA
Apr 7th
Or maybe not. Wil Wheaton, the boy actor of such movies and TV shows as Stand By Me and Star Trek: The Next Generation, has had his small wiener touched during a screening. Now all nerds are crying out in anger against the TSA.
From Wil’s blog here:
Yesterday, I was touched — in my opinion, inappropriately — by a TSA agent at LAX.
I’m not going to talk about it in detail until I can speak with an attorney, but I’ve spent much of the last 24 hours replaying it over and over in my mind, and though some of the initial outrage has faded, I still feel sick and angry when I think about it.
What I want to say today is this: I believe that the choice we are currently given by the American government when we need to fly is morally wrong, unconstitutional, and does nothing to enhance passenger safety.
I further believe that when I choose to fly, I should not be forced to choose between submitting myself to a virtually-nude scan (and exposing myself to uncertain health risks due to radiation exposure)1, or enduring an aggressive, invasive patdown where a stranger puts his hands in my pants, and makes any contact at all with my genitals.
When I left the security screening yesterday, I didn’t feel safe. I felt violated, humiliated, assaulted, and angry. I felt like I never wanted to fly again. I was so furious and upset, my hands shook for quite some time after the ordeal was over. I felt sick to my stomach for hours.
Wil, as a reminder, you pined away for a Democratic controlled government run by Barack Obama. You called Hillary Clinton a sad pathetic girlfriend who wouldn’t take no for an answer. This wasn’t just some fat TSA agent enjoying the feel of your tiny manmeat in his mits, this was Obama, by proxy, tugging your boyish nuts.
Keep shaking. Keep that feeling of violation. This is the government you voted for.
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Awesome Trekkie Tshirt
Feb 26th
About a bunch of fat fashionistas-
This is at T-Shirt Bordello along with most of my favorite tshirts.
And here’s another, which is described on the site as a “must have for away teams and landing parties.”
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Will You Be My Star Trek Girl?
Jan 27th
Finally, I have a volunteer! I do have a problem with the 4 pips on the collar. Clearly she couldn’t rise above the rank of ensign much less wear Captain’s pips. Autotune this girl in the shower with her TOS-dressed friends and lets start this 24th century party.
Favorite line? “Like tribbles, we’ll cuddle day and night.” Set your phaser to stun, point at your head, and hit play.
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Most Awesome Hero Teamup Ever
Jan 13th
All the greats together at last!
For those that don’t recognize them, from left to right we have:
Madmartigan on the sled. The Rocketeer, Jean Luc Picard with a tommy gun, Zorro, Gambit, the Gray Ghost, Snake Eyes jumping over Henry Rollins, Wolverine riding shotgun with Indiana Jones, and finally, Einstein holding a two-handed great sword.
From SeanGordonMurphy
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TNG Lyrics As Sung by Fat Dork
Aug 23rd
Space- the final frontier. Where fat dorks borrow their mom’s video cameras to film themselves in their tripleXL Command Red shirts singing a made up song that poses as lyrics to Star Trek’s Next Generation Series.
This big boy has no idea about the Starfleet regs against eating triple beef burritos from Taco Bell. How did he get four pips on his collar? He’s clearly a yellow-shirted crewman at best. He looks more like the captain of the Axiom. Thanks to [GAS] for the hilarious video!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Klingon Language Cave Tour
Aug 7th
Nerdiness has assimilated the world better than Borg nanoprobes. In Australia there are caves that were once featured in a Star Trek TNG episode about Klingons. They have a tour there in several languages, and now, they are the first official tour on the planet for speakers of the Klingon Language.
From Reuters here:
Staff at the Jenolan Caves west of Sydney have added a new out-of-this-world attraction — a tour in the Star Trek language Klingon.
Currently a self-guided audio tour at the caves in the Blue Mountains is offered in eight languages, but staff came up with the idea of adding the fictional language Klingon as the caves did once feature in the popular TV series.
“In the Star Trek universe, Jenolan Caves was first immortalized in the Next Generation episode ‘Relics,’ through the naming of a ‘Sydney Class’ Starship – the USS Jenolan,” the Jenolan Caves Reserve Trust said in a statement.
“We wanted to do something a bit obscure and we will now be the first tourist attraction on this planet at least to have a Klingon tour.”
Nerds.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...I Got Evil Spock
Dec 17th
From the classic Star Trek TOS episode Mirror Mirror. I was at Toys R Us to finish up some Christmas shopping when I stumbled across this action figure jammed on a rack with Star Wars stuff. Had to have it, and it comes with phaser, communicator and a Vulcan dagger. Click the image below to watch the episode.
Check out the details-
And the Closeup:
I totally geeked out and probably embarrassed Jess who kept reminding me that we were shopping for the boy. But sometimes the inner geek in me must be fed.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Alexander Again Brings Dishonor to the House of Worf
Dec 8th
Alexander Rozhenko has once again dishonored his father.
From the AP here:
A former cast member of the 1980s television show “Family Ties” has been arrested for investigation of assault in Colorado.
28-year-old Brian Bonsall got into a fight at an apartment on Saturday and hit a friend with part of a broken wooden stool.
He is being held in the Boulder County Jail and was due in court Wednesday. Jail records didn’t indicate his lawyer’s name.
Family Ties was cursed. Just look at how twitchy it made Michael J. Fox and how fat it made Tina Yothers.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Dad Only Speaks Klingon to Infant Son
Nov 18th
A Minnesota nerd had a kid and spoke to him for the first three years of his life in Klingon. It was an experiment in linguistics and, apparently, child abuse.
From CityPages here:
d’Armond Speers spoke only Klingon to his child for the first three years of its life.
“I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language,” Speers told the Minnesota Daily. “He was definitely starting to learn it.”
I think for the next kid he should only speak Huttese.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Guinan Should Be Beamed Into Space
Jul 21st
Moonbat Whoopie Goldberg brought heartache to millions of Star Trek fans when she espoused kooky lunar landing conspiracy theories on her morning Talk Show, The View.
According to Salon she said:
This morning on “The View,” Whoopi Goldberg celebrated the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11 by sharing a little cup of crazy. Noting that she’s a fan of “Capricorn One,” the 1978 film about a faked landing on Mars, she goes on to offer a few favorites from the conspiracy theorist handbook: “Who shot the footage?” she asks, and no, she doesn’t appear to be kidding. “Why is the flag rippling? There’s no air.”
The video is here-
Even if she was trying to be provocative and doesn’t really believe this stuff, she should forever be pelted with chewed bubblegum if she shows up to any Star Trek conventions for spouting this heresy. Seriously Whoopi, you fail.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Star Wars Fans Fantasize About the Destruction of the USS Enterprise
May 9th
Given that this video is the product of Al Gore’s Current TV, you have to realize that the Death Star is only forcing Starfleet to become ‘Carbon Neutral” by destroying the USS Enterprise.
Since this clip is intended to evoke the inner geek, I will allow him to be unleashed by providing the following commentary on the things wrong with this video…
First, Star Wars took place in a galaxy far far away. Second, it was a long, long, time ago. During the short period of time during which Darth Vader controlled the Death Star under the direct control of Darth Sidious, did he somehow figure out how to time travel and heave the huge moon-sized Death Star to Sector 001 of the Terran System?
Of course not. According to Star Wars history, the Death Star was only used once to destroy the planet of Alderaan. Afterwords it was destroyed by Luke Skywalker prior to its use against a Rebel Base. During that time it was able to shatter a planetary body.
Even is this version of the Death Star was the unfinished version depicted in Return of the Jedi, the same time traveling issue still remains, plus, the operational phase of the Death Star was fully documented in the movie, during which the Millennium Falcon delivered a killing blow to the unfinished space station. There was never any time for the Death Star 2.0 to travel forward in time to Earth’s future to 2245 AD to deliver this death blow to the Enterprise.
Thanks to [GAS] for the vid!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Nerd Nirvana’s Command Chair
Mar 26th
Saw this on Skymall on the flight back today. Does your inner nerd need a place to sit? This would be the chair. A limited run of 1,701 chairs were made, complete with blinky lights and sound effects. The price is a cool $2,717.01.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Klingon Crackhead Robs 7-11
Feb 5th
Someone robbed a 7-11 convenience store in Colorado using a Klingon Bat’Leth. Awesome!
From the AP here:
Colorado police say a man with too much “Star Trek” on his mind used a sword modeled after the weapon carried by Klingon warriors to demand money from two convenience stores.
Investigators say the man took an unknown amount of cash from a 7-Eleven store Wednesday but left empty-handed when he tried to rob another store about 25 minutes later.
No word on whether or not the assailant called the clerk a “bloodless pa ‘tak.”
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