I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Dr. Jones
Do not talk about fight club. Oops.
Homepage: http://www.belch.com
Posts by Dr. Jones
The Real Halftime in America Commercial
Feb 7th
Thanks to our pal Remy.
People are out of work and they’re hurting.
And they’re wondering where all their money went.
Well, $12.5 billion of it went to Chrysler. In the form of a bailout.
But it’s okay, because Chrysler is all-American.
Though technically 58.5% of Chrysler is owned by an Italian corporation.
And Chrysler manufactures many of it’s vehicles in Canada. And Mexico.
But I guess that doesn’t make for a great commercial.
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TSA Needs Your Help!
Feb 7th
No education required!
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Trailer for the Amazing Spider-Man
Feb 7th
I do like the Gwen Stacy storyline and love that Denis Leary is Captain Stacy. But I think I liked the old costume better.
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DDoS Tool Samples
Feb 7th
Arbor put this awesome compilation of 50 DDoS tools together along with this nifty video.
Some of these tools are gamer related, but most deal with botnet herding. To see the whole list go to Arbor’s site here.
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Crisis Management Under the Big Top
Feb 7th
I saw the motorcycle accident below on Fox News and it looked pretty bad. I found the whole video on YouTube and found quite a few surprises. First of all, the rider is going to be okay. Broke several bones, but he will survive. But check out the ringmaster who takes control of a bad situation, keeps the crowds calm and pulls the decision to close the circus.
Oh, and the redneck who shouts “He’s fuckin’ dead!” with all those kids around? Total asshat.
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New Avengers Trailer!
Feb 6th
This is just so awesome. I really love the Hulk scenes too.
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Idiot Florida Boys Die Car Surfing
Feb 6th
The tragedy of the youthful feeling of invulnerability. Lots of boys do really stupid stuff when they are young. I was no different. Somehow, despite my own foolish best efforts, I made it to my twenties a learned to chill out and stop taking stupid risks. Carlos Velazco and Hunter Perez, both 18, are dead because they stood on top of a SUV speeding 70 MPH down a Florida dirtroad.
Teen avoids jail time for fatal crash: MyFoxORLANDO.com
From the Mail here:
A court has seen a dramatic video revealing the final moments of two teenagers who died while ‘car surfing’ before the SUV overturned and burst into flames. Carlos Velazco and Hunter Perez, both 18, were clinging to the side of their 19-year-old friend Joshua Ritter’s speeding car in DeBary, Florida.
One teenager is heard saying on the video: ‘If I died, remember this is Carlos’s idea.’ Another voice on the tape says: ‘This is insane.’ Moments before their car overturned one of the teens his heard screaming: ’Whoa, Stop.’ The footage then goes blank.
Joshua Ritter, 19, was sentenced to one year of house arrest and five years’ probation.
Tosh doesn’t do web redemptions for dead idiots, at least not yet. At least they died while car surfing and not grocery cart surfing.
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Talkin’ Bout the Debt Generation
Feb 6th
I’m a Gen X-er. A child of the 80s, and my generation is now assuming power in the country politically and financially. And I feel pretty good about that. The next generation, the millenials, are having some tough problems finding their way forward, but they will make it if the economy can turn around and provide more opportunities. But Obama’s generation? The wide-eyed youngsters that voted for him in droves in 2008? That is the Debt Generation and they have something to say about it.
Thanks to my pal Jimmy for the heads up.
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Egyptian Disarray is Obama’s Fault
Feb 6th
There are lots of ways that young people and freedom loving Americans can serve their country. Most obvious of course, is military service. Hippie pacifists join the volunteer service of the Peace Corps. But many more political science graduates, and up-and-coming diplomats, cut their teeth working for organizations that coach budding democracies on how to use their power with care- such as public relations, creating a political infrastructure, and helping to create the free and open public debate that is necessary to give voices to everyone in the political processes.
In some places this is more difficult than others. And in some places, it can be downright dangerous. Several organizations that do work described above are right now under suspicion by the newly created Egyptian government of “using foreign money to foment dissent.” And 19 Americans are facing arrest. And this is a direct result of Obama not supporting a 40-year ally as they faced a mob uprising backed by radical Islamists.
From the LATimes here:
Egypt’s military-controlled government announced that 19 Americans working for pro-democracy groups, including the son of a Cabinet official, would be ordered to stand trial on licensing and financial charges.
The provocative decision by investigating judges comes as the U.S. has threatened to suspend $1.3 billion in annual aid to Egypt’s military. It highlights the widening divide between Washington and one of its closest allies over democratic reforms at a time of sweeping political upheaval across North Africa and the Middle East.
Judges have referred 43 people, including 19 Americans, to be prosecuted on charges of violating foreign funding laws for nongovernmental organizations working in Egypt. One of them is reported to be Sam LaHood, the Egypt director of the Washington-based International Republican Institute, or IRI, and son of U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood.
The younger LaHood and other Americans working for IRI received haven last month at the U.S. Embassy amid fears they might be arrested after a travel ban was placed upon them. Employees at two other U.S.-based groups — Freedom House and the National Democratic Institute — are also under investigation. The charges reportedly carry a penalty of up to five years in prison.
Obama just wanted “democracy” in Egypt and he didn’t care that it came from a rampaging mob. Now many NGO employees are at risk as the nation continues to destabilize. Most of those Americans facing arrest are Northern Virginia and Maryland residents. And while I don’t mind saving 1.3 billion dollars by denying foreign aid to an asshole nation like Egypt, I think I would have much rather had a stable, friendly nation there instead of the mess we have now.
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Capitalism is Way Better for the Environment Than Progressivism
Feb 5th
How have progressives changed the world? What have they contributed to the betterment of society? Just think about Greenpeace. They’ve been around for a couple dozen years now or longer. Have they been successful or contributed anything lasting to society? As near as I can tell, they are a bunch of hippies that suck money out of well-meaning do-gooders, but they have never actually made or produced anything. It takes Capitalists to save trees.
Thanks to Derek Hunter.
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Not-So-Happy Meal
Feb 5th
A North Carolina Mom learned the hard way what happens when you try to perform a denial of service attack on a McDonald’s Drive Thru by parking your car at the window and refusing to move. You get TASED and your kid goes to foster care.
From the DailyMail here:
Police used a Stun Gun on a woman who had been blocking a McDonald’s drive-thru for more than 20 minutes. Evangeline Lucca, 37, had cut the line and refused to leave before she was served.
Employees, meanwhile, refused to attend to Lucca because she cut the queue.
Lucca bypassed the order screen and the line at the fast food restaurant, instead pulling directly up to the pick-up window Friday afternoon. They told her she had to go around and wait like everybody else did and place her order that way, they weren’t set up at the that window to taker her order.
The woman still refused to move, and police were called after that. Employees told the paper that Lucca often tried to jump the line, but that they finally got sick of it.
When the deputies arrived, they said she was ‘defiant’ to them and was threatening them. Deputies then performed a ‘drive stun’ on her, meaning the device was applied directly to her skin, rather than firing the Taser cartridge.
Her three-year-old daughter was with her and was taken into protective custody.
Stupid woman waited 34 years to have a daughter, she can wait 5 minutes to buy her child a freakin’ Happy Meal. Now she can wait for visitation rights. Actually, I’ve often been tempted to find out what would happen if you blocked a fast food drive-thru lane. Nice to know now that I shouldn’t try that.
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Micron’s CEO Steve Appleton Rides the “John Denver Experience”
Feb 4th
Steve Appleton’s company Micron sure did make some good memory chips. And it earned Steve enough dough to allow him to indulge in risky hobbies, like flying in crappy airplanes that were known to have safety issues. He crashed and died just like other rich millionaires (Steve Fossett, JFK Jr.) who have no business pretending to be pilots.
Cartman Joins NAMBLA
Get More: SOUTH
PARKmore…
From DailyMail here:
The CEO of memory chip maker Micron died yesterday morning in a tragic accident when the small experimental fixed-wing plane he was piloting crashed at an airport. A recording of a conversation Steve Appleton had with air traffic controllers just moments before his death shows his panic as he desperately radioed: ‘I’d like to turn back in and, uh, land… coming back in’.
Mr Appleton, 51, a professional stunt plane pilot and former motocross racer, was the only person in the plane when it crashed at the Boise airport in Idaho. Trading in Micron stocks has been halted. Authorities received reports of a small aircraft that was on fire before it landed on Friday morning.
It’s not the first time Mr Appleton has been in a small plane crash, and questions have been raised in the past about whether the head of a large corporation should be engaging in such a dangerous hobby.
His amateur-built plane was a single-engine Lancair. Aircraft of this type have recently caught the attention of national aircraft safety authorities, who are in the midst of a study of their safety.
Know why so many self made millionaires die in plane crashes? Because they can afford flying lessons and get themselves a stupid airplane.
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Two News Anchor Women Dreaming About Sausage
Feb 3rd
Nice, firm, sausage. Sausage you can really wrap your mouth around. Tasty, savory sausage.
She just loves to be the judge at a sausage festival.
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Creepy Zombie Bedsheets
Feb 3rd
This looks like a great bedcover for those that need my guest room as a crash pad.
It was from etsy here, but already sold out.
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Microsoft Hits G-Mail Over Keyword Snooping
Feb 2nd
Microsoft released a YouTube video making fun of the G-Mail man who snoops through your email to target you with ads. And with more and more companies beginning to outsource their email to G-Mail, it is nice to see that there are alternatives out there.
I’ve used G-Mail for a corporate environment, and it was okay. Best things were the mobility, ease of access and fast searching capability. Drawback is that it was Google, with the ad-targeting, the questionable privacy tactics and the reports of breaches.
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Google Maps Sued by Looters
Feb 2nd
French cartographers are pissed that Google is giving away their maps for free. They have been unable to sell any of their own maps because they simply can’t run a business, so they went the way of Atlas Shrugs and sued under some Dog Eat Dog clause. Now Google owes these crappy cartographers and their crooked lawyers about 660 Thousand bucks.
From CNET here:
You may like that Google Maps is free, but a French court says it’s actually anticompetitive.
A Paris court earlier this week ordered Google France and its parent company Google to pay plaintiff Bottin Cartographes 500,000 euros (about $660,000) for providing its free mapping services to businesses across the country. The court also required Google to pay a 15,000 euro fine for its practice.“We proved the illegality of (Google’s) strategy to remove its competitors,” Jean-David Scemmama, attorney for Bottin Cartographes, a company that provides mapping services to businesses, told the AFP in an interview earlier this week. “The court recognized the unfair and abusive character of the methods used, and allocated Bottin Cartographes all it claimed. This is the first time Google has been convicted for its Google Maps application.”
Bottin has been arguing its case against Google for two years, claiming the search giant was engaging in anticompetitive practices by using its free service to take control over the online-mapping industry.
I can see the need for some companies to purchase professionally created maps, and Google isn’t providing those, so I really can’t see how these guys have a case. Google ought to just buy the company and start selling professional paper maps to businesses world wide.
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You Need Mineral Rights to Sell Ice?
Feb 2nd
Back before there were refrigerators, ice sellers would carve off portions of glaciers, river ice or whatever they could get their hands on to keep things cold. Now that we have refrigerators, it seems that this old practice is now illegal- at least in Chile. One enterprising go-getter was carving off ice from a glacier to sell as exotic ice cubes for drinks, and somehow ended up in jail for “theft.”
From the Guardian here:
Police hold man on suspicion of stealing five tonnes of ice from a glacier in Patagonia to sell as designer ice cubes for cocktails in bars and restaurants.
Police intercepted a refrigerated truck with an estimated £3,900 worth of illicit ice allegedly bound for whiskies, rums and cocktails in the capital Santiago.
The ingredients of ice are water, cold, and time. How the hell can you get arrested for stealing that? Its free and is lying on the ground. Nature will make plenty more! Is Chile really trying to claim that hundreds of millions of dollars of ice are creeping slowly across the ground? If ice is that valuable, they should just start mining it and selling it.
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