I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Bizarre
Ah, the Toe Market
Feb 6th
All these little piggies that go to market? That market is WalMart. And they ride around in the Scamp carts and block the normal shoppers. They fill up their basket with Sam’s Brand Pork and Beans.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ...
You Need Mineral Rights to Sell Ice?
Feb 2nd
Back before there were refrigerators, ice sellers would carve off portions of glaciers, river ice or whatever they could get their hands on to keep things cold. Now that we have refrigerators, it seems that this old practice is now illegal- at least in Chile. One enterprising go-getter was carving off ice from a glacier to sell as exotic ice cubes for drinks, and somehow ended up in jail for “theft.”
From the Guardian here:
Police hold man on suspicion of stealing five tonnes of ice from a glacier in Patagonia to sell as designer ice cubes for cocktails in bars and restaurants.
Police intercepted a refrigerated truck with an estimated £3,900 worth of illicit ice allegedly bound for whiskies, rums and cocktails in the capital Santiago.
The ingredients of ice are water, cold, and time. How the hell can you get arrested for stealing that? Its free and is lying on the ground. Nature will make plenty more! Is Chile really trying to claim that hundreds of millions of dollars of ice are creeping slowly across the ground? If ice is that valuable, they should just start mining it and selling it.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Indian Boys Need to Behave
Feb 1st
Indian Boys Need to Behave, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.
I saw this really bizarre calendar in a nearby store. I especially enjoy the instructions to round up all the lost little boys and turn them over to the Gestapo.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Storage Wars Turn Grim: Granny Bones Up for Auction
Jan 30th
Someone just couldn’t stand to get rid of Granny after her death so they stuck her coffin in a storage locker. Her rotted bones weren’t found until some jackass ran up the bids and stuck an unsuspecting buyer with something grim.
Dave Hester Declares: "Yuuuup!!"
From WTSP here by way of DuckDuckGrayDuck:
Law enforcement in Clearwater found Bunch’s skeletal remains on Thursday inside a coffin nestled in a storage unit. Turns out the body may have been packed in there for 16 years, since shortly after Bunch died in 1994.
Before the discovery of the body, everything in the unit was going to be auctioned off because Fancher’s mother, who owned it, couldn’t afford to pay for it. The family also couldn’t afford to transport the grandmother to her final resting place in Alabama.
“[After she died], she was in a covered trailer parked by the side of the house for two or three weeks,” Fancher says.
In 2010, law enforcement in Pinellas County deemed the home where Fancher lives uninhabitable. Nearly a dozen cats were seized.
So what we have here are three TV shows mashed together: Bones, Storage Wars and Hoarders. Am I leaving a TV show out?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Nightmare Fuel: Spider Population Explosion
Jan 22nd
This is why you don’t always just smoosh a spider.
Thanks to DuckDuckGrayDuck.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Nightmare Fuel: Beavis and Butthead in Real Life
Jan 20th
A makeup artist created lifelike busts of what Beavis and Butthead would look like if they were real people, and all I can say is these guys would have trouble getting anyone to pump their gas much less a table at a restaurant.
You can see the rest here, including the very frightening closeup of Beavis.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Bizarre Changes in My Hometown
Jan 8th
I moved away from Hampton Roads years ago and only visit occasionally to see family. Parts of Hampton are still quite charming, and even an improvement over what I left behind when I moved away- The new Peninsula Town Center, for instance, is a wonderful replacement for the decrepit Coliseum Mall, and revitalized downtown Hampton and the Queen Street strip is a welcome new addition, and the Saturday Night street parties in the summer are a big incentive to get me to come home to visit. Yet for every improvement, there are also bizarre declinations as well. Take the case of the old Ryan’s Grill and Buffet on Todd’s Lane.
Now this former restaurant has closed. Out of business. But they are still cooking stuff in this building, because now its called the Berceuse Funeral & Cremation center. A “berceuse” is a type of music in 6/8 time similar to a lullaby, and while I suppose that is a fine name for someone taking an eternal dirtnap, it is still shocking to see a corner lot former restaurant that is now a crematorium. And this is a residential neighborhood too; a bit on the low-income urban side (black), but a residential neighborhood nonetheless.
I have seen many funeral homes, and they come in all shapes and sizes. I’ve seen converted Victorian mansions as a funeral home, solemn brickfront buildings, and even a converted schoolhouse- but I have yet to see a funeral home that uses a cruddy buffet-style restaurant until now. And being Hampton, it is both saddening and unsurprising.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Talking About Liposuction for Kids
Jan 5th
This jelly roll needs a few of those £7,000 vouchers to get the fat sucked out of her. And her miscreant child too.
And just think, in a mere 10 years she can get beat up by her first black boyfriend live on the Jerry Springer show.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Mother of the Year Gets 7YO Daughter Liposuction
Jan 4th
A despicable British woman, Sarah Burge, addicted to plastic surgery, got a voucher for her seven-year-old daughter to get liposuction. Yeesh.
From the Dailymail here:
A seven-year-old who received a voucher for a boob job on her last birthday has received yet another inappropriate gift from her surgery-obsessed mother: A £7,000 voucher for liposuction. Little Poppy Burge received the gift in her Christmas stocking after her mother, a 51-year-old plastic surgery addict known as The Human Barbie, decided it would ‘come in handy’.
‘I put the voucher in her stocking – there’s nothing wrong with that,’ she said. ‘She asks for surgery all the time. She wants to look good and lipo is one of those procedures that will always come in handy. I see these vouchers as investing in her future – like saving money for her education.’
Miss Burge, who has spent more than £500,000 on her own surgical enhancements is determined to transform her daughter into a glamour model.
This self absorbed freakish woman is going to ruin this child. But then again, Poppy Burge is a solid 4 and needs all the help she can get.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Steven Tyler Needs a Next Door Neighbor Who Has a Daughter and a Favor
Jan 3rd
So he can get the little girl’s training bra.
Thanks to TMZ. Gadzooks! I think he and Barney Frank can now commence man-tit rasslin’!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
WalMart Employees Smarter than You Think
Jan 1st
A dude created or printed a fake Million Dollar bill and tried to spend it at WalMart. Now he’s in jail trying to pay his bail.
From JournalNow here:
A Lexington man tried to use a fake $1 million bill to pay for his purchases at a Walmart.
Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, walked into the Walmart on Lowes Boulevard in Lexington on Nov. 17. He shopped for a while, picking up a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other merchandise, totaling $476.
When he got to the register, Fuller gave the cashier the phony bill, saying that it was real. Store staff called police.
Fuller was later charged with attempting to obtain property by false pretense and uttering a forged instrument, both felonies.
Fuller was being held Friday night in the Davidson County Jail with bond set at $17,500.
The stupidity; it’s staggering.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Got the TShirt
Dec 31st
I haven’t had the chance to read Abe Lincoln the Vampire Slayer, but I’m meaning to now that they are making the movie. But I just got the shirt from TeeFury.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Steve Jobs is Riding the Turbo Blooper on Rainbow Road
Dec 29th
The video below has been around for a while, but I only just became aware of it, its strangeness and its wonderful new euphemism for death: Riding the Rainbow Road.
Thus, Steve Jobs is riding the rainbow road, as is Kim Jong Il and Patrice O’Neal. Thanks to [GAS]!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Chemtrails Really Can Be Dissolved With Vinegar
Dec 27th
You really have to weep for the idiocy that infests this country when you realize these people have the right to vote. Watch this moronic mom make her son videotape her hunting contrails from overhead jets while she sprays vinegar into her back yard. She thinks the government is spraying chemicals in addition to jet exhaust to make people derpy, and she knows this is a fact because she is a chemistry and physics genius.
The planes fly at 6 miles of altitude, and with just a few degrees at an angle toward the horizon makes the aircraft, and their corresponding contrails of frozen vapor, about ten miles away. Pythagorean’s theorem puts the commercial aircraft about 12 miles away. Yet somehow, spraying vinegar at your dandelions makes the contrails dissipate. Can anyone please tell me how the science behind this works?
What do they do about spraying chemtrails at night when they are invisible? Or now that the youtube videos are out there blowing the lid off this conspiracy, won’t the government just make chemtrails that are impervious to vinegar?
At least she’s not as whacky as the Obama voter that blamed rainbows in her sprinkler on Bush.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Sinead O’Connor Still Making Good Decisions
Dec 27th
The 45 year old failed lesbian singer Sinead O’Connor announced on her website that her marriage to a man has ended after 18 days, but in actuality, it ended 3 hours after the nuptials. Sinead apparently took her new groom on a wild ride to find some marijuana.
From her website here:
Within 3 hours of the ceremony being over the marriage was kyboshed by the behaviour of certain people in my husband’s life. And also by a bit of a wild ride i took us on looking for a bit of a smoke of weed for me wedding night as I don’t drink. My husband was enormously wounded and very badly effected by that experience and also by the attitude of those close to him toward our marriage. It became apparent to me that if he were to stay with me he would be losing too much to bear. And that being with me was not going to serve him positively , career wise or any other wise. I saw his life leave him because of how people close to him reacted. And I can’t take anyone’s life. And a woman wants to be a joy to her husband. So.. U love someone? Set them free.
Most people grow up and start making wiser decisions, but its clear that Sinead O’Connor is going to make a lifetime out of bad choices. Nothing compares to her failures.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Awesome Hungry Toad Finds the Perfect App
Dec 22nd
I was totally only going to post this because of the great marriage of a frog and a bug-smooshing app on a smartphone. And then I saw the ending.
Never LOLed harder.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Death of an Ass Eater
Dec 20th
Meet Deangelo Mitchell. He killed his brother by having him eat the cocaine out of his ass.
The two brothers were busted trafficking in cocaine. They get thrown in the squad car, and the older brother begs the younger one to eat the cocaine out of his ass so he doesn’t go to jail for life. The younger brother died from cocaine overdose and now the older brother is being charged with manslaughter.
From ABC here:
Wayne Joshua Mitchell, 20,died after he ate an ounce of cocaine that was hidden in his brother’s buttocks. Authorities plan to charge the victim’s brother 23-year-old Deangelo Rashard Mitchell, with involuntary manslaughter.
The incident happened when both brothers were in the back of a police car on November 30. The two had been arrested for trafficking. Video from inside the police car captured a conversation between the brothers, where Deangelo pleads with his younger brother to take the cocaine in his bottom and eat it to get rid of it.
“One of us gotta do it, you the only one that don’t have any strikes. …You my little brother… I’m gonna get life,” Deangelo said to Wayne.
His bother complied and ate the drugs. When officers saw the cocaine residue on the seat where Wayne sat, Deangelo told officers that his brother swallowed cocaine. Within the hour, Dwayne struggled to breathe, bled from his mouth and died.
Deangelo was charged with trafficking drugs and bonded out of jail December 1.
Now Deangelo is going to rot in jail and his brother’s last act on earth was to eat his asshole.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Jimmy Kimmel is a Child Abusing Cult Leader
Dec 13th
For laughs, Jimmy Kimmel tells his audience on TV to abuse their kids and the parents happily film their child abuse and posts it up on YouTube. Last time it was with Halloween Candy, and this time its giving really crappy presents.
That one fat kid is seriously emotionally unbalanced. Awesome that his adoptive Dad would film his breakdown for all the world to see. Next time Jimmy is going to ask parents to buy vicious pit bulls and ask parents to film their kids being mauled. That’s funny, right?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Dear God! Creepy Gingers and Laughing Dolls!
Dec 6th
Wow, does this commercial stab at your soul with knitting needles or what?
Gotta love those head whips and the snaggled teeth!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Mindy McCready’s Son Sent Back To Cuba
Dec 3rd
After an intense interstate chase that ended in the backwoods of an Arkansas Trailer Park, the Department of Justice captured Mindy McCready’s 5 year old son, Zander, and handed him over to Cuban officials. Former Attorney General of the United States, Janet Reno, had her first ever orgasm at the news.
From MusicMix here:
Mindy McCready’s 5-year-old son found ‘hiding in a closet’ with mom
By the time Arkansas authorities took country singer Mindy McCready’s 5-year-old son from her and into custody on Friday evening, one thing had already become apparent to much of America: McCready’s life has come to resemble a bad country song.
Mindy is reportedly very upset at the DOJ’s decision to send her son back to Castro’s Communist Regime, but is more upset about the broken closet door at her boyfriend’s trailer. “I just had this door painted, ya’ll” was her statement released via her attorney.
McCready, who is pregnant with twins, is hopeful that she can one day embroil those children in an interstate manhunt as well.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
