I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Posts tagged cartney
We Make Holes in Teeth!
Apr 25th
My four-year-old boy asked me why he couldn’t eat candy before bedtime. Without really thinking about it, I explained that the Cavity Monsters would eat the sugar off his teeth and put holes in them. This shocked the boy. “Are cavity monsters good guys?” he asked. He is always concerned with the moral alignment of good versus evil and he wanted to be sure he is on the right team. “They are very bad guys,” I explained who stomp around chanting “WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH! WE MAKE HOLES IN TEETH!” So I had to pull up the cartoons from the late ’70s and explain to him who the Cavity Creeps are.
So Cartney went to bed and brushed his teeth better than ever and when he hung up his tooth brush he declared “Cavity Creeps all dead!”
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Squishin’ Cousins
Apr 22nd
Uncle Rusty had an opportunity to watch all three of his young nephews, and he very quickly had them acting their hearts out for this cute video.
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Disaster is Imminent
Feb 18th

Disaster is Imminent, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.
A Lazy Saturday Night. The boy and I are building towers of terror for unsuspecting Lego employees while I rebuild a laptop I had lying around with Ubuntu.
My son is telling me about the casualties of his tower of terror. Seems that the bodies get dragged to the cemetery by an ambulance where they turn into skeletons and then dirt.
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Icy Investigations
Jan 6th
Today was really mild in the NOVA area and we had a great opportunity to explore the neighborhood after Cartney’s daycare. We encountered what is turning into a swamp- an area that is no longer properly draining, causing the soccer field to flood pretty badly. Water has slowly receded over the past few days exposing thick sheets of ice laying atop the ground. So we did what boys do when you encounter ice, sticks and mud.
I also took the opportunity to teach Cartney about not walking on ice covered bogs, and how to recognize the sound of thin cracking ice.
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Frank is the Undisputed Ruler of Jumanji
Nov 27th
The following is a much-delayed and heartfelt thanks to Sabra for a gift that continues to play a large role in the lives of our family:

Sorry its been so long wince we chatted or wrote, but I thought I’d update you on the Blue Camel you so kindly sent our son, Cartney.
The camel has now been named Frank. Cartney, who is now 4 and a half, bestowed this name upon the camel without any prompting from us. In fact, I am unaware of any stories or other social references that he encountered that would inspire him to name his blue camel Frank, but there it is.
And Frank is the boss of all of Cartney’s other stuffed animals, and a larger menagerie is difficult to encounter elsewhere. Giant sea turtles, large giraffes, sea lions, tigers, lions, and all other animals must pay homage to the boss, Frank.
Several weeks ago, we decided to substitute bedtime stories with “stuffed animal theater”- something we use to inspire and instruct Cartney in morals, instruction, and to preserve storytelling as an art in our family. This worked out great for a few weeks- we told the story of the big bad wolf and the three pigs, Goldilocks, Hansel and Gretyl and many other typical folklore stories- play acted by his stuffed animal citizens, but each time, Cartney insisted that Frank play a major role.
Thus, Frank ends up defeating the Big Bad Wolf; Frank shows the lost German kids the shortcut away from the Evil Witch’s house, and Frank beats up the giant before he has the chance to climb down the beanstalk and meet his expected demise at the hands of Jack.
Recently the bedtime routine has devolved to a strict enactment of “Bedtime stories about my animals with Jumanji!” which means we have to roll lego dice (its always Frank’s turn to roll) and pretend Frank, Alan (a squid), Judy (a pig) and Peter (a bat), all get sucked into the Jumanji game to run around and find new adventures in the jungle of Cartney’s imagination. (I blame Robin Williams for this!) The one constant is that Frank is always there, taking charge, defeating evil, and restoring the freedom of his trapped cohorts.
And did I mention that Frank has the ability of knock out his opponents with projectile camel farts? Yep, its true. And of course, this unique ability is bestowed upon the dimunitive Frank the Blue Camel by Cartney, and it is usually the knock-out weapon employed at the last minute to save his stuffed animal friends. And the deployment of the ultimate stinky weapon is always met with raucous laughter! Now instead of bedtime stories that induce slumber, most stories tend to rile up the child for more than an hour before he finds his way to sleep- with Frank at his side.
I hope you understand that when I tell you that Frank is a bit of a thorn in the side of Cartney’s Mom and me; it is only because this ubiquitous character foils our attempts to impart our morals to the stories that we tell, and he thus creates a challenge to our story-telling abilities. It is now no longer a telling of how to rescue Peter and Judy from Jumanji- it is a nightly game on “How do we outsmart Frank and teach the boy something?”
Anyways, I just wanted to drop you a note of deep thanks from our family for the wonderful additon of Frank to Cartney’s stuffed animal zoo and let you know that his animals have a definitive pecking order that starts with that blue camel that you so thoughtfully shipped to him a few short years ago. Because of this, we think of you often and hope that your family is doing well, and wish you all the happiness you can endure. Have a Merry Christmas Sabra!
Sabra has a blog here. She is recently back from the sands of Saudi.
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Painting a Toy Car
Nov 12th
Before bedtime, Cartney wanted to tackle an art project. He had picked up a wooden toy car at an art show and was asking if he could paint it blue, add eyes and a mouth, and paint the wheels.
Of course, as a bonus, he gets to use Mom’s art supplies.
And this artist desk sure has seen a lot of miles since it was installed.
And here is the finished product!
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Cartney and the Lorikeets at Butterfly World
Jul 27th
I have a couple of friends that are terrified at the thought of birds crawling all over them. Cartney shows no such fear. Well, maybe he did get a little freaked when one got on his head.
And no one got pooped on, which is awesome.
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Summertime Saturday
Jul 9th
Been meaning to post this video for a while. Cartney is here jumping off the diving board at his Uncle’s house.
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Summer Stickiness
Jun 28th
Summertime is often a sticky thing for a four year old. Yesterday Cartney befriended a playground slug. Convinced it could talk, he carried it four blocks back to the house where he insisted to Mom that he be allowed to keep it in his room.
A fight ensued and the slug was forced to relocate to an outdoors plant, by which time it was barely moving. I had never had to scrub slug snot from a child’s hands before, and let me tell you, that is NOT easy. Layers upon layers of dried slime is not easy to remove with soap and hot water.
Then on the way to the airport, Cartney paused to allow me to snap his photo while he put a plastic wrapper from a freezer pop on his forehead. By 6 PM he was coated with slug snot, peanut butter and jelly and the sticky residue of a freezer pop. Life can be pretty cool when you’re four.
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Walking on Eggshells
May 20th
Cartney helped Mom yesterday to make cakes for her cakepops she creates. Here he’s cracking eggs for the cake and there are more than a few accidents.
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Mater in the Potty
May 15th
I showed my boy this clip from the upcoming Cars2 movie, and he loved it and busted out laughing. He looked at me and declared, “Silly Mater! He doesn’t need to pee pee, Mater doesn’t have a wiener!”
And I reckon he should know that as a fact since he has about a dozen Mater tow trucks of various color and type, and I’ve checked and he’s right. None of those little tow trucks have a little wiener.
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Scary Clown Boy
May 2nd
While working from home and I was treated to a Face Paint modeling session. Cartney popped downstairs to show me his clown face. Jess saw the horrified look on my face and burst out in tearful laughter. She kept urging the boy to hug me and I was flat out refusing.
I didn’t know if he was getting ready to burst forth with angry ICP rap or look for a sewer to crawl into to terrify other unsuspecting victims ala Stephen King’s IT.
I like the tiger face much better.
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Don’t Wake the Cartney
Apr 23rd
It was after 6 PM and if the kid slept much longer he wouldn’t be any good for bedtime. As it turns out he wasn’t, and ended up staying up playing in his room way too late. But his food was getting cold and he just wasn’t tolerating being woken up. So Jess and i started to sing one of his favorite songs. Hilarity ensued.
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Cartney Versus Ironman
Dec 26th
Cartney received an IronMan action figure that shoots missiles and walks. IronMan and Cartney had a showdown in the kitchen this evening. IronMan shoots first, but I don’t think he’s got much of a chance against the boy.
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Christmas Boy
Dec 10th
Getting a child to pose for a Christmas Card photo at home is difficult. We must have snapped 20 shots and this turned out to be somewhat acceptable. To give you an idea, below will be a slideshow of some of the wilder rejected photos that will not be making an appearance in the Christmas Cards this year.
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TRex Baby Mammoth
Nov 28th
We are on vacation in Disney this week. First day out we had lunch in Downtown Disney and ate at TRex, a Dinosaur animatronic themed restaurant. We were just outside the Ice Cave, which was glowing purple at the time, seated right next to a moving baby wooly mammoth.
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5 Years Already?
Oct 23rd
I haven’t posted much this weekend because I have traveled to Hampton Roads to visit my parents. My Dad is recovering from open heart surgery and my Mom can’t get around so well anymore. So Jess, Cartney, and me, all came down to visit and to do some much needed cleaning around the old home.

As it turns out, it was also my Five Year Wedding Anniversary. I hadn’t forgotten, but Jess and I celebrated early by going to New York. But I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the date and how spectacular my life has become since the two of us married. Jessica is my best friend, my strength, my inspiration, and is obviously my better half.
The past five years have flown by, and as I write this, my feet are kicked up while all three of us watch the Goonies on ABC Family in a cozy hotel. Cartney is riveted to the screen by promises of the appearance of gold and pirates, and Jess keeps telling Cartney how this is one of Mommy and Daddy’s favorite movies. Life is good. Its been good for over five years now and I can’t wait for what the future holds.
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Swashbuckling Toddlers
Jun 20th
Cartney had so much fun at his cousin’s house. He especially enjoyed hamming it up during his swordfights with Tristan. Whenever they would clash plastic cutlass upon plastic cutlass, Cartney would drop his sword and fall down. Tristan also like to play dead!
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Cartney’s Third Birthday Slideshow
Jun 20th
What a fantastic afternoon and evening we all had! Cartney had his Pirate Pool and Birthday Party at his cousin’s house and fun was had by all!
In order, this shows Cartney opening gifts with his family. Next he has some of his homemade pirate cupcakes. Cousin Tristan meets him armed with two cutlasses, and a pirate bandana! Swords cross. We show our beach blankets which are proudly pirate themed! Elijah scowls for the camera, followed by his brother Nate, exhibiting his florentine style of two swords at once. The girls at the party got Tinkerbell themed gift bags that included fairy tiaras and bubble wands. Cartney waves to keep the gifts coming! A very cool pirate ship was one of the gifts from the girls. Lastly, Max takes a dive!
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Three Years Already
Jun 19th
I can’t believe it has already been three years.
We are leaving after nap time to have a big Pirate Birthday and Pool Party at his Uncle’s house. More pics on that later.
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