I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Stupid People
Idiots, morons, and assorted stupidity
American Psychiatric Association: No Such Thing As Aspergers
Feb 10th
Freaky, soulless, self-absorbed asshats, yes. Aspies, no. The APA is doing away with a clinical diagnosis of Aspergers since no one can figure out what the hell it is or if it actually exists. There will just be autism on a graduated scale.
In this famous action sequence, a selfish child that has no soul conceives of an idea that he is afflicted with a special disease that will excuse all of his horrible selfish behavior.
From the DailyBeast here:
Asperger’s, Overdiagnosed, Ill Defined, May Not Be a Syndrome Much Longer
Psychiatrists working on the latest edition of their profession’s diagnostic manual are thought to be tightening the definition of autism and dispensing with Asperger’s completely.
It’s a reasonable question to ask in the midst of the furor over the American Psychiatric Association’s proposed changes to the way autism spectrum disorders are diagnosed. According to the plan, the APA’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the profession’s standard diagnostic reference for mental disorders will not contain Asperger’s syndrome at all. Instead, all diagnoses of autism—of which Asperger’s is currently considered a subset—will be collapsed together onto one spectrum, and rated in gradations from mild to severe.
For all its clinical and cultural resonance, Asperger’s syndrome is still only a recent addition to the American diagnostic vocabulary. In the 18 years since it arrived, no one has been able to agree on what it is.
So Gary McKinnon, famed Aspergers sufferer who is using his self-diagnosis to prevent being extradited to the United States to face criminal charges, is now considered by the APA to be merely “daft” rather than having a real disease. Eat it, AssPies.
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Loading ...Idiot Florida Boys Die Car Surfing
Feb 6th
The tragedy of the youthful feeling of invulnerability. Lots of boys do really stupid stuff when they are young. I was no different. Somehow, despite my own foolish best efforts, I made it to my twenties a learned to chill out and stop taking stupid risks. Carlos Velazco and Hunter Perez, both 18, are dead because they stood on top of a SUV speeding 70 MPH down a Florida dirtroad.
Teen avoids jail time for fatal crash: MyFoxORLANDO.com
From the Mail here:
A court has seen a dramatic video revealing the final moments of two teenagers who died while ‘car surfing’ before the SUV overturned and burst into flames. Carlos Velazco and Hunter Perez, both 18, were clinging to the side of their 19-year-old friend Joshua Ritter’s speeding car in DeBary, Florida.
One teenager is heard saying on the video: ‘If I died, remember this is Carlos’s idea.’ Another voice on the tape says: ‘This is insane.’ Moments before their car overturned one of the teens his heard screaming: ’Whoa, Stop.’ The footage then goes blank.
Joshua Ritter, 19, was sentenced to one year of house arrest and five years’ probation.
Tosh doesn’t do web redemptions for dead idiots, at least not yet. At least they died while car surfing and not grocery cart surfing.
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Not-So-Happy Meal
Feb 5th
A North Carolina Mom learned the hard way what happens when you try to perform a denial of service attack on a McDonald’s Drive Thru by parking your car at the window and refusing to move. You get TASED and your kid goes to foster care.
From the DailyMail here:
Police used a Stun Gun on a woman who had been blocking a McDonald’s drive-thru for more than 20 minutes. Evangeline Lucca, 37, had cut the line and refused to leave before she was served.
Employees, meanwhile, refused to attend to Lucca because she cut the queue.
Lucca bypassed the order screen and the line at the fast food restaurant, instead pulling directly up to the pick-up window Friday afternoon. They told her she had to go around and wait like everybody else did and place her order that way, they weren’t set up at the that window to taker her order.
The woman still refused to move, and police were called after that. Employees told the paper that Lucca often tried to jump the line, but that they finally got sick of it.
When the deputies arrived, they said she was ‘defiant’ to them and was threatening them. Deputies then performed a ‘drive stun’ on her, meaning the device was applied directly to her skin, rather than firing the Taser cartridge.
Her three-year-old daughter was with her and was taken into protective custody.
Stupid woman waited 34 years to have a daughter, she can wait 5 minutes to buy her child a freakin’ Happy Meal. Now she can wait for visitation rights. Actually, I’ve often been tempted to find out what would happen if you blocked a fast food drive-thru lane. Nice to know now that I shouldn’t try that.
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Roseanne Barr Wants to be The Leader of the 99%
Feb 3rd
Roseanne Barr wants to be moonbat-in-chief and is running for the nomination of the Green Party. She is already on record for wanting to drag bankers in the street and cut off their heads, so I guess this is a good match for the Occupy Wall Street riff-raff.
From CBS here:
Roseanne Barr said Thursday she’s running for the Green Party’s presidential nomination — and it’s no joke.
The actress-comedian said in a statement that she’s a longtime supporter of the party and looks forward to working with people who share her values. She said the two major parties aren’t serving the American people.
“The Democrats and Republicans have proven that they are servants — bought and paid for by the 1% — who are not doing what’s in the best interest of the American people,” Barr said.
Occupy Wall Street protesters popularized the “We are the 99 percent” slogan in their fight against economic disparity and perceived corporate greed.
Here’s a toast to her success! Hope she is able to peel away all of the OccupyWallSt supporters and their ilk from Obama’s base and splits the vote on the left.
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You Need Mineral Rights to Sell Ice?
Feb 2nd
Back before there were refrigerators, ice sellers would carve off portions of glaciers, river ice or whatever they could get their hands on to keep things cold. Now that we have refrigerators, it seems that this old practice is now illegal- at least in Chile. One enterprising go-getter was carving off ice from a glacier to sell as exotic ice cubes for drinks, and somehow ended up in jail for “theft.”
From the Guardian here:
Police hold man on suspicion of stealing five tonnes of ice from a glacier in Patagonia to sell as designer ice cubes for cocktails in bars and restaurants.
Police intercepted a refrigerated truck with an estimated £3,900 worth of illicit ice allegedly bound for whiskies, rums and cocktails in the capital Santiago.
The ingredients of ice are water, cold, and time. How the hell can you get arrested for stealing that? Its free and is lying on the ground. Nature will make plenty more! Is Chile really trying to claim that hundreds of millions of dollars of ice are creeping slowly across the ground? If ice is that valuable, they should just start mining it and selling it.
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Julian Assange Wants to Flee to Sealand
Feb 1st
Julian Assange is running scared. He is due to be extradited to Sweden to face charges of rape, but he wants to move his Wikileaks servers to a maritime location thinking that would put him outside of the law’s reach. Is Sealand still for sale?
From CNET here:
WikiLeaks investors are currently working on completing a deal to buy a boat that would house the controversial site’s servers in international waters, Fox News is reporting today, citing sources. By moving the servers offshore, WikiLeaks, which currently has servers in Sweden and Iceland, among other countries, believes that it will be able to evade U.S. law enforcement and save its founder Julian Assange from prosecution.
According to Fox News, one of its sources “within the hacker community” said that by moving the servers offshore, the site would be governed by maritime law, making Assange “safe” from prosecution.
“He’s not an idiot,” the source reportedly said of Assange to Fox News. “He’s actually very smart.”
Julian Assange is not an idiot. Know who else can operate outside of national laws on the open waters?
I’d love to see an act of piracy on the open waters taking out Julian and his Wikileaks minions. Avast!
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Storage Wars Turn Grim: Granny Bones Up for Auction
Jan 30th
Someone just couldn’t stand to get rid of Granny after her death so they stuck her coffin in a storage locker. Her rotted bones weren’t found until some jackass ran up the bids and stuck an unsuspecting buyer with something grim.
Dave Hester Declares: "Yuuuup!!"
From WTSP here by way of DuckDuckGrayDuck:
Law enforcement in Clearwater found Bunch’s skeletal remains on Thursday inside a coffin nestled in a storage unit. Turns out the body may have been packed in there for 16 years, since shortly after Bunch died in 1994.
Before the discovery of the body, everything in the unit was going to be auctioned off because Fancher’s mother, who owned it, couldn’t afford to pay for it. The family also couldn’t afford to transport the grandmother to her final resting place in Alabama.
“[After she died], she was in a covered trailer parked by the side of the house for two or three weeks,” Fancher says.
In 2010, law enforcement in Pinellas County deemed the home where Fancher lives uninhabitable. Nearly a dozen cats were seized.
So what we have here are three TV shows mashed together: Bones, Storage Wars and Hoarders. Am I leaving a TV show out?
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DHS Monitoring Twitter; Ejects Chavs From US
Jan 30th
Alternate title of this post: When Idiots Converge. Leigh Bryan, a 24 YO doofus from Ireland, and probable chav, tweeted that he was going to “destroy america” and “dig up” Marilyn Monroe’s corpse. Upon landing in LAX, he was intercepted by customs and searched and then told that he was not allowed entry onto US soil. It seems he was watchlisted by DHS idiots who don’t understand that pasty white guys from the UK use terms like “destroy” to mean “get wasted.”
From the Mail here:
Two British tourists were barred from entering America after joking on Twitter that they were going to ‘destroy America’ and ‘dig up Marilyn Monroe’. Leigh Van Bryan, 26, was handcuffed and kept under armed guard in a cell with Mexican drug dealers for 12 hours after landing in Los Angeles with pal Emily Bunting. The Department of Homeland Security flagged him as a potential threat when he posted an excited tweet to his pals about his forthcoming trip to Hollywood which read: ‘Free this week, for quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America‘.
After making their way through passport control at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) last Monday afternoon the pair were detained by armed guards. Despite telling officials the term ‘destroy’ was British slang for ‘party’, they were held on suspicion of planning to ‘commit crimes’ and had their passports confiscated.
Federal agents even searched his suitcase looking for spades and shovels, claiming Emily was planning to act as Leigh’s ‘look out’ while he raided Marilyn’s tomb. Bar manager Leigh, from Coventry, and Emily, 24, from Birmingham, were then quizzed for five hours at LAX before they were handcuffed and put into a van with illegal immigrants and locked up overnight.
‘When we arrived at the prison I was shoved in a cell on my own but after an hour two huge Mexican men covered in tattoos came in and started asking me who I was. ‘They told me they’d been arrested for taking cocaine over the border. When the food arrived on the tray they took it all and just left me with a carton of apple juice.‘
They spent 12 hours in separate holding cells before being driven back to the airport where they were put on a plane home via Paris.
Aww, poor baby only got apple juice.
Yes, its kinda absurd that DHS thinks that they are catching terrorists by reading tweets. Its refreshing to see them fail at this as badly as their airport screening prevents terror too. As long as DHS continues to pretend that white males plant bombs, they will fail at their task.
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DC Female Cops Taze Retarded OWSer
Jan 29th
A video this awesome doesn’t come around often. Two female cops put the TASER beat down on a drugged up liberal bum who is camping illegally in McPherson Square in downtown DC. The dreaded-haired dope smoker is wearing an awesome Commie Red tshirt that declares “He Loves It In The Ass.” And that is exactly where the cops tased this fool.
In case you missed his tshirt, you’re welcome for the snip below:
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Taiwanese Animators Say Demi Moore is a Skinny Drugged Up Old Sow
Jan 27th
Or something like that.
Yahoo here says that Demi Moore was smoking salvia or something when she needed hospitalization. Boy this longest running episode of Punk’d just keeps delivering!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Drunk Middle-Aged High School Principal Doesn’t Want Cougar as School Mascot
Jan 19th
Utah’s Corner Canyon High School’s student body got together and thought the school mascot should be a Cougar. The alliteration is perfect, after all- Corner Canyon Cougars sounds like a kick-ass football team to me. But no. Mary Bailey, the middle-aged principal who frequents bars to pick up young men in their early twenties, thinks that a cougar mascot would be disrespectful to the ladies.
From CBS here:
One Utah school district believes a cougar mascot would be insensitive to women.
The Canyons School District overrode the students top choice of a cougar mascot for their high school that is to be completed in 2013.
Would-be Corner Canyon High School students chose the Cougars as their mascot — a name principal Mary Bailey said carries an ugly connotation that is disrespectful to women.
In popular culture, the cougar is a sexually aggressive middle-aged woman who attracts younger men.
The school board, which consists of six men and one woman, thought the Charger would be more appropriate, which was on the ballot but failed to appeal to students as the cougar had.
Lame. The kids should all show up to school in cougar print.
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Father of the Year John Edwards Has Deadly Heart Condition
Jan 14th
I saw this headline over at CNN and thought, that can’t be right?
Source: John Edwards has life-threatening heart condition
John Edwards, who cheated on his cancer-stricken wife has a heart??!
From CNN here:
A federal judge disclosed Friday that former presidential candidate John Edwards has a life-threatening heart condition. Edwards had sought a delay in his criminal corruption trial, scheduled to begin this month.
Judge Catherine Eagles said she has been in contact with Edwards’ cardiologist, who recommended a postponement, saying Edwards is scheduled to undergo surgery next month.
Edwards is charged with six felony and misdemeanor counts related to donations to and payments from his failed 2008 presidential campaign. He is accused of conspiracy, issuing false statements and violating campaign contribution laws. He denies any wrongdoing.
Edwards’ wife, Elizabeth, died of cancer in December 2010. The couple had separated that year, shortly after Edwards admitted that he had fathered a daughter with Rielle Hunter, who was hired to make documentary videos for his campaign for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination.
Yeah, the first time you hear that Edwards is a Democrat is way down in paragraph 11, which is surprising, since usually the liberal press fails to mention party affiliation at all when the crook is a Democrat. But I hope Johnny gets better. Should be a fun trial.
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Liberal Anonymous Hacker Cries Over Lack of Twitter
Jan 14th
Meet Vincent Kershaw, a liberal landscaper who took the advice of script kiddies from 4Chan, and launched the “Low Orbit Ion Cannon” denial of service attack pings of death against PayPal because his liberal hero Julian Assange and Wikileaks had their donations cut off for the treasonous posting of top secret materials.
Now Vinnie is complaining to a judge that he can’t exercise his freedom of speech without having access to his twitter account and IRC channels. From TSG here:
An alleged “Anonymous” member under indictment for participating in an online attack against PayPal wants a federal judge to allow him to use Twitter, arguing that he is unfairly being prohibited from participating in discussions of the 2012 election cycle, including discourse initiated by President Barack Obama, who has recently vowed to personally post tweets to the social networking site.
Kershaw, who works as a foreman at a Fort Collins landscaping firm, also wants Judge D. Lowell Jensen to allow him to use Internet Relay Chat so that he can participate in “political debate” and “political speech” in IRC chat rooms.
Along with 13 codefendants, Kershaw was named last July in an indictment charging him with conspiracy and intentional damage to a protected computer. The felony charges carry a combined maximum of 15 years in prison and a $500,000 fine.
The accused “Anonymous” members participated in a coordinated online attack against PayPal that was prompted by the firm’s suspension of Wikileaks’s account.
Kershaw and his co-conspirators don’t know each other but they collaborated by downloading a denial of service tool, using it from their home computers, and attacking a legitimate business. The attacks were easily traced and logs used by law enforcement to round-up the not-too-bright dupes who thought they were engaged in “cyber activism.” Kershaw would be down smoking dope at OccupyFortCollins if he could just read twitter to find out where it is. I wonder if the judge will grant his request?
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Will Sinead O’Connor Twittercide?
Jan 11th
Messed up has-been singer, drug addict, sexually confused former pop singer Sinead O’Connor, who recently divorced her husband after trying to buy crack in Vegas, took to Twitter to beg for psychiatric help. Read from the bottom up:
I don’t know if any other pseudo celebs have taken to Twitter to commit suicide, but this one might. Its not the first time she’s hinted at suicide. I guess nothing compares to your head in a gas oven.
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Egypt Rejoins the Hell of Africa: Muslims Enraged by Bearded Mickey
Jan 10th
Now that Egypt is getting ready to become a backwards Islamic nation, the brains and money that made up the former peaceful nation will be stamped out. First up is the guy who brought cellular technology to Egypt- he is going to be jailed because he tweeted the pic below:
From the FT here:
Naguib Sawiris, the Egyptian telecoms tycoon, faces trial and a possible jail sentence over a Twitter message featuring Mickey and Minnie Mouse, the Disney characters.
A prosecutor in Cairo on Monday ordered the referral of the Christian business leader to court on accusations of contempt of Islam after a complaint against him lodged in the summer by a group of Islamist lawyers.
Mr Sawiris had retweeted last year a cartoon of Mickey Mouse sporting a beard and Minnie Mouse wearing a face veil, prompting outrage among conservative Muslims who saw it as an insult to their religion.
A retweet is going to get an Egyptian millionaire killed, and in a way, this was Obama’s dream for Egypt and the Arab Spring. He refused to support the government that had kept peace in the region for most of my life and now Egypt will march backwards into the 13th century. Egypt not only wants Minnie Mouse wearing the veil, but they want her beaten with a whip for going outside without a male relative. They want Mickey to recruit the obviously retarded Goofy into a suicide bomb plot against Zionist collaborators.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Talking About Liposuction for Kids
Jan 5th
This jelly roll needs a few of those £7,000 vouchers to get the fat sucked out of her. And her miscreant child too.
And just think, in a mere 10 years she can get beat up by her first black boyfriend live on the Jerry Springer show.
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New Swedish File Sharing Religion More Retarded Than Buddhism
Jan 5th
In the category of dumbest religion ever, a new challenger has arisen: Kopimism, a new Swedish religion based on the belief that information wants to be free. Their holy icons are the CTRL+C and CTRL+V and their patron saint is Julian Assange.
From the BBC here:
A “church” whose central tenet is the right to file-share has been formally recognised by the Swedish government. The Church of Kopimism claims that “kopyacting” – sharing information through copying – is akin to a religious service.
The church, which holds CTRL+C and CTRL+V (shortcuts for copy and paste) as sacred symbols, does not directly promote illegal file sharing, focusing instead on the open distribution of knowledge to all.
“For the Church of Kopimism, information is holy and copying is a sacrament. Information holds a value, in itself and in what it contains and the value multiplies through copying. Therefore copying is central for the organisation and its members. Being recognised by the state of Sweden is a large step for all of Kopimi. Hopefully this is one step towards the day when we can live out our faith without fear of persecution,” said the religion’s founder.
So copyright protection is now equivalent of religious persecution to these nutbags. I would love to see the MPAA and RIAA run their version of the Spanish Inquisition on their asses. And I think it will become the official religion of Occupy Wall Street.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Chastity Bono Saving for Her Addodicktome
Jan 4th
Chastity Bono’s transformation to gigantic sweaty Italian Dude is not yet complete. Not until she can get her vagina sewn shut and get an implanted penis. And she is shopping around for the right price for her addodicktome according to the Post here:
“Dancing with the Stars” favorite Chaz Bono is saving his pennies to purchase a penis.
The only child of Sonny and Cher — who has already had gender-reassignment surgery — plans on adding the equipment as soon as his budget allows it.Bono, born Chastity, is already receiving testosterone injections and had his breasts surgically removed after his 40th birthday.
“There’s different ways to do the surgery, from real basic to more and more options,” he said. “It’s like a car. The doctor I want to use is in Belgrade. It’s going to be a little cheaper there. Probably $25,000, maybe $45,000, I really don’t know.”
And ladies, Chaz wants to date YOU! Candlelight, white wine, and a fat, sweaty, italian, sexually confused hulk at your bedside furiously pumping an inflation bulb for his brand new wiener and looking at you like a plate of bacon. Sexy, right?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Ditch Witch Tells OWS That She’s a Tax Cheat
Jan 2nd
This is just more proof that the Occupy Movement are just the Anti-Iraq war retreads. Cindy Sheehan is a member of OWS, and she gleefully told a crowd that she is a tax cheat. Doesn’t that make her someone who isn’t paying their fair share?
Lets report Cindy Sheehan to the IRS for nonpayment and fraud. That form is located here. Additional helpful instructions on turning in the Ditch Witch to the IRS is here.
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If You Are a Retarded Hacker, Sting is Here to Help
Jan 2nd
In the United Kingdom, you can avoid all prosecution and extradition for hacking charges if you pretend to be retarded. This strategy can also make you rich, especially if washed-up singer-songwriter Sting hears about it. Gary McKinnon, who has managed to avoid extradition and prosecution for hacking into US military computers for over 10 years now, recently revealed that Sting offered to pay damages to the US if the case against Gary were dropped.
From the Express here:
TRUDIE STYLER and her singer husband Sting have offered to pay US authorities £400,000 to help Scottish computer hacker Gary McKinnon avoid prison in America, the Sunday Express has learned. Mr McKinnon, 45, is accused of having crippled the Pentagon when he broke into 97 US military systems 10 years ago as he supposedly looked for evidence of UFOs.
The Asperger’s Syndrome sufferer and his supporters have been fighting extradition ever since, although the emergence of the monetary offer from the celebrity couple can be revealed for the first time today.
McKinnon supporters love to point out that he is self-diagnosed with Aspergers, a fake disease that is used as an excuse for acting like an asshat. They have managed to keep McKinnon from facing justice, and it has really turned into a war of attrition. The UK government won’t turn McKinnon over, and people are beginning to forget about his crimes. You can see more posts about McKinnon here.
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