I can't believe that came from your mouth!
You’re Fired!
Micron’s CEO Steve Appleton Rides the “John Denver Experience”
Feb 4th
Steve Appleton’s company Micron sure did make some good memory chips. And it earned Steve enough dough to allow him to indulge in risky hobbies, like flying in crappy airplanes that were known to have safety issues. He crashed and died just like other rich millionaires (Steve Fossett, JFK Jr.) who have no business pretending to be pilots.
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PARKmore…
From DailyMail here:
The CEO of memory chip maker Micron died yesterday morning in a tragic accident when the small experimental fixed-wing plane he was piloting crashed at an airport. A recording of a conversation Steve Appleton had with air traffic controllers just moments before his death shows his panic as he desperately radioed: ‘I’d like to turn back in and, uh, land… coming back in’.
Mr Appleton, 51, a professional stunt plane pilot and former motocross racer, was the only person in the plane when it crashed at the Boise airport in Idaho. Trading in Micron stocks has been halted. Authorities received reports of a small aircraft that was on fire before it landed on Friday morning.
It’s not the first time Mr Appleton has been in a small plane crash, and questions have been raised in the past about whether the head of a large corporation should be engaging in such a dangerous hobby.
His amateur-built plane was a single-engine Lancair. Aircraft of this type have recently caught the attention of national aircraft safety authorities, who are in the midst of a study of their safety.
Know why so many self made millionaires die in plane crashes? Because they can afford flying lessons and get themselves a stupid airplane.
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Loading ...Unemployed Again
Jan 31st
It was the first day on my new job and I was all excited to get to drive the bobcat. That cackling is from Stuart, my so-called pal and trainer.
Thats twice this month that I’ve lost a sweet gig- the last job was a radar screen polisher for the Costa Concordia. But its okay that I’m back on unemployment. I’m sure Obama and his army of 99%ers will get me a new job any day now.
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FDA Sued By Stupid Scientists Who Can’t Read
Jan 30th
The FDA used its sophisticated network monitoring tools to reconstruct emails and documents sent via an external unauthorized email account, and ultimately the scientists who were bypassing FDA content filters were fired. Now they are suing the FDA for “spying on them” and doing so “secretly” despite the fact they see this every time they boot their FDA workstation:
(FDA) - The startup screen on FDA computers warns employees, “you have no reasonable expectation of privacy,” including any communication accessed or sent from the machine. This specific message has appeared since at least December 2010.
From the WaPo here:
The Food and Drug Administration secretly monitored the personal e-mail of a group of its own scientists and doctors after they warned Congress that the agency was approving medical devices that they believed posed unacceptable risks to patients, government documents show.
The surveillance — detailed in e-mails and memos unearthed by six of the scientists and doctors, who filed a lawsuit against the FDA in U.S. District Court in Washington last week — took place over two years as the plaintiffs accessed their personal Gmail accounts from government computers.
Information garnered this way eventually contributed to the harassment or dismissal of all six of the FDA employees, the suit alleges. All had worked in an office responsible for reviewing devices for cancer screening and other purposes.
Scientists who violate an obvious monitoring policy really have no legitimate complaint. Don’t want to be monitored? Use an SSH tunnel- at least until you get caught doing that too.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Symantec to Customers: Only a Fool Would Use PCAnywhere Now
Jan 26th
Symantec released a whitepaper that quickly glosses over that they were pwn3d back in 2006 and lost the source code to their flagship products. Now they are recommending that the software be turned off unless you really, really can’t do without it, but if you get h4x0red don’t blame them.
The whitepaper says:
Upon investigation of the claims made by Anonymous regarding source code disclosure, Symantec believes that the disclosure was the result of a theft of source code that occurred in 2006. We believe that source code for the 2006-era versions of the following products was exposed: Norton Antivirus Corporate Edition; Norton Internet Security; Norton SystemWorks (Norton Utilities and Norton GoBack); and pcAnywhere.
With this incident pcAnywhere customers have increased risk. Malicious users with access to the source code have an
increased ability to identify vulnerabilities and build new exploits. Additionally, customers that are not following general security best practices are susceptible to man-in-the-middle attacks which can reveal authentication and session information. General security best practices include endpoint, network, remote access, and physical security, as well as configuring pcAnywhere in a way that minimizes potential risks.At this time, Symantec recommends disabling the product until Symantec releases a final set of software updates that resolve currently known vulnerability risks. For customers that require pcAnywhere for business critical purposes, it is recommended that customers understand the current risks, ensure pcAnywhere 12.5 is installed, apply all relevant patches as they are released, and follow the general security best practices discussed herein.
I don’t know how much marketshare PCAnywhere maintains nowadays- most Windows desktops and servers ship with a free remote desktop client, and most customers I encounter today use either citrix or desktop sharing services like WebEx. But this whole episode is still an embarrassment to big yellow.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...RIP Dick Tufeld
Jan 25th
Lost in Space was a show that hit reruns when I was a child, and they both fascinated and terrified me. I am saddened to learn that the voice of B9, the Lost in Space robot died today. Dick Tufeld had a truly iconic voice.
He was 85. Went down swingin’ I hope.
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Canadian Web Developer Sentenced to Death in Iran
Jan 22nd
Saeed Malekpour is a web developer and an Iranian citizen who was living in Canada and trying to become a Canadian citizen. He flew back to Iran to visit his father in 2008 and somehow managed to get arrested for inventing the method for uploading porn to the internets. Now the mullahs for the Religion of Peace who are running Iran have sentenced him to death like a common street homosexual.
From Mashable here:
An Iranian court has upheld its decision to sentence 35-year-old Saeed Malekpour to death for developing photo-uploading software used by porn websites.
Iran’s Supreme Court maintains Malekpour promoted such sites because his name was on the software. Amnesty International says Malekpour was unaware that his software was being used for pornography. He was sentenced to death in June 2011. The court accused Malekpour of “insulting and desecrating Islam.” On Tuesday, the court ruled to move forward with the death sentence, which could be immanent, Amnesty says.
Malekpour, a Canadian citizen, was arrested when he visited his father in Iran in 2008. He was allegedly tortured for one year while he was held in solitary confinement in Tehran’s Evin Prison.
Iran’s draconian stance toward Internet freedom is well known. Earlier this month, the government announced a “Halal” Intranet, free of Western influence.
The man is going to get murdered by the Iranian state for writing an ActiveX script to transfer files from the desktop to a server? And liberals thought the world was being unfair to MegaUpload’s Kim DotCom? But a State that murders every homosexual it can find, is going to cap a Canadian WebDev guy, and the strongest adjective this article can use to describe the disgusting situation is “Draconian?!” We should tell the Iranians who the real author of that software was- Mumia Abu Jamal!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...PotHeads Win: Gabbie Giffords Quits Congress
Jan 22nd
Gabrielle Giffords, a Democrat, bravely fought back against her debilitating gunshot wound and is this week resigning from Congress. She is a patriot and a great American. I would have been proud to count her as my own representative had I lived in Arizona.
So am I going to turn this into a political issue? You betcha, but I really don’t care about what flavor the next Congressman is going to be from her district. Gabbie will be a tough act to follow and I’m certain her constituents will use her as the measuring stick to get someone great, regardless of the political party.
Jared Loughner, her attacker, had psychological problems that were extremely exacerbated by his marijuana abuse- an abusive level that is now often viewed in this country as a private matter and a right rather than the criminal matter it actually is. Decriminalization of marijuana and lack of the will to enforce laws on the books have led to massive amounts of drugs coming across the Mexican border and hundreds of deaths in Mexico and the US due to Cartel activities.
Gabby Giffords is quitting because she got shot in the head by a pothead psycho. Loughner became a pothead psycho because Arizona and the Federal Government got soft on marijuana enforcement. Just a sad situation all around.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Kim Jong Il is so Ronerie
Dec 19th
Somewhere today Sean Penn is crying crocodile tears over the death of one of his favorite dear leaders.
Thanks to Robb for the video!
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Don’t Hire Blonde Technicians
Dec 18th
Mikko pointed out this ridiculous photo he stumbled across today. A blonde woman, wearing safety glasses is stooped over an open laptop with a multimeter and a magnifying glass.
If someone wants to purchase this photo with the watermark removed, they can do so here. But I don’t understand what this image would illustrate to anyone. Girls are dumb? PC Repair done wrong?
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Rapper Slim Dunkin Gunned Down in Front on 13 Witnesses- No One Snitches
Dec 17th
What?? A rapper gunned down in a rap music studio? The hell you say! But its true. Rapper Slim Dunkin was in the studio getting ready to lay down some samples of music recorded by real musicians elsewhere, during which time he would recite some badly written angry urban poetry, and one of the people in the studio at the time shot him point blank in the chest after an argument. To keep matters real, the 13 other witnesses present refused to snitch to the cops, so the shooter got away.
From the NYDailyNews here:
Rapper Slim Dunkin has been gunned down in a music studio as he prepared to record a video.
Dunkin, whose real name is Mario Hamilton, was fatally shot in the chest after getting into an argument with another individual.
“Before the video shoot took place, it appears the victim and suspect got involved in a verbal altercation. We don’t know what that altercation was about. The suspect produced a weapon, discharged that handgun one time, striking the victim in the chest,” cops said.
Police have not been able to identify the shooter. He said 13 to 20 people were in the small office-type building at the time of the shooting, which took place around 5:30 p.m. local time.
“Right now we’re just trying to….identify who may have seen what, really just trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together,” he said. “It seems everybody witnessed something very different. We’re just trying to go back and make sense of everything.”
Slim’s favorite word was Nigger and he was a 9-11 truther, rapping that the twin towers fell because of a government inside job. But at least he ‘kept it real’ all the way up to the end, which I hope is a great comfort to his family.
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City Union Members Use Witchcraft in Negotiations
Dec 2nd
A Santeria Birdseed plot has resulted in one non-union idiot being fired and another one in hot water.
From the MiamiHerald here:
Two North Miami Beach police department employees allegedly tried to cast a spell over the city manager’s office.
A note to prospective municipal employees: If you’re looking for a way to help out beleaguered colleagues, casting a spell on your boss is probably not the way to go. Two North Miami Beach employees — one a police officer, the other a department office manager — are in hot water after trying to enlist some supernatural aid in the form of what they believed to be a Santeria practice.
Their alleged target: City Manager Lyndon Bonner, whose plan to slash the police budget prompted protests and union outrage this fall.
Their mystical material: handfuls of birdseed which, according to an internal affairs report, they hoped to scatter in and around Bonner’s fourth-floor office at City Hall. But when they tried to recruit a janitor to sprinkle the seeds, she balked — and turned them in.
Officer Elizabeth Torres told investigators she meant the manager no harm: “I want to clarify, that it’s nothing malicious and nothing intended to hurt that person.” She was told last week she faced termination over the August incident, which took place against the backdrop of a contentious budget season. Unionized city employees must go through an appeal process before they can be fired.
Office manager Yvonne Rodriguez, who is not a member of the union, was fired last week for her role in the plot.
While Santeria practitioners have argued that their practice constitutes a legitimate religion and bristle at depictions of the practice as black magic or witchcraft, they acknowledge that public displays of their traditions can spook non-believers. And both adherents and experts say that the Afro-Cuban religion, itself an amalgamation of Catholicism and African spiritual traditions, does not count malice — such as casting harmful spells — as one of its principles.
So if their fake religion of Santeria wasn’t going to harm the City manager, what the hell was the purpose of getting the stupid birdseed then? It most certainly wasn’t going to be a blessing or a which for success for the manager, now was it?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Occupy WallStreet Now Chanting: Bring Out Your Dead!
Nov 11th
The corpses are piling up at Occupy Wall Street Tent Cities across this great land. Most of the deaths are self-inflicted- two by drug overdose in Portland, one by a failed, albeit hilarious, attempt to catch a bullet with his mouth in Vermont, one gunned down in Oakland, and now one dead in Salt Lake City. A 53 year old leftist was found dead in a filthy tent in New Orleans too, and he had been dead for two days before the smell rose to a noticeable level among the trash and detritus of the occupiers there.
The occupy movements won’t stop, however, until the mobs that are assembled are finally able to get their human sacrifice at the hands of the police or National Guard. Once that lulzy dream of a violent confrontation with the man is attained, then the camps will come down.
Personally, I hope a thousand more Occupiers die. I believe strongly in the survival of the species, and nothing strengthens the genepool like killing off the weak and stupid.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Taiwanese Animators Explain Joe Paterno
Nov 10th
I was asked yesterday why I haven’t covered anything about the Penn State pedophilia. My response was that I really don’t follow sports and didn’t know all the facts. I really just haven’t delved into it. Now I don’t have to since the awesome animators of NMATV have summed it up nicely, complete with dancing Michael Jackson and the crowd of Pedobears.
Hey, just to make sure, if a guy rapes little boys, he’s gay, right?
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Bill Keane Lowers the Big Top on Family Circus
Nov 9th
Bill Keane, the longtime artist behind the Family Circus comic strip has died. Gary Larsen has some parting advice for him:
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Rapper Heavy D Died of the Heavy P or Heavy C
Nov 8th
A rapper was struck down on the streets in LA in broad daylight? The Hell you say! But its true. Rapper Heavy D walked out of his house and collapsed and later died at the hospital. But unlike most rappers that die on the street, Heavy D wasn’t surrounded by the acrid smell of gun powder. Best guess is that he was either suffering of pneumonia or he ate one too many helpings of pork rinds and died of a cholesterol drive-by.
Okay, enough snark, he seemed like he was a pretty decent professional artist judging by this interview.
From the Times here:
“Upon arrival, officers discovered a male, 44 years old, conscious, communicative, but having difficulty breathing,” the Beverly Hills Police Department said in a statement. “There are no obvious signs of foul play, and at this time his death is believed to be medically related.”
Heavy D had recently seen a private physician for a cough that may have been pneumonia.
He probably died in the waiting room waiting for a bed if his experience matched that of my wife with her recent bout of pneumonia. And I don’t know what the hell D was shopping for if he had a case of pneumonia. All I know is that if I was a black celebrity, I’d get rid of the private doctors. They seem to be killing them at a pretty good clip nowadays. And D wasn’t the youngest rapper to die from non-drive-by related deaths this year. Remember Nate Dogg?
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I Hear GWAR Has an Opening in the Band
Nov 4th
Flattus Maximus is not Rottus Maximus.
From the Dailymail here:
Cory Smoot, lead guitarist of the heavy metal band GWAR has been found dead on the group’s tour bus.
The body of the 34-year-old, who played under the sci-fi fantasy name of Flattus Maximus, was discovered following a gig in Minneapolis.
His bandmates are said to be ‘shocked and devastated’ by his death. The cause is still unknown.
I wonder if his death was Heavy Metal related? Alcohol poisoning, OD or death by syphilis- or maybe he choked on a pretzel.
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The Biggest News From Yesterday: Herpes Monkey Eaten by Tiger!
Oct 21st
Sure some tinhorn dictator was blown away in an epic insurrection, but did you hear about the animal hoarder who let all of his wild bears, lions, tigers and monkeys loose before shooting himself in the face? One of those animals- a monkey, had a raging case of herpes, but its okay- the tiger ate that STD monkey before it could rape the population of Dayton, Ohio.
This is how you get Monkey Herpes Y'all!
From the Brisbane times here:
At last count a team of Ohio cops led by Sheriff Matt Lutz had bagged 49 animals, including two wolves, six black bears, two grizzly bears, 18 Bengal tigers, three mountain lions, nine lions, eight lionesses and one baboon.
A monkey, thought to be suffering from herpes is unaccounted for, but may have been eaten by a lion.
The animals were released on Tuesday from a private zoo in suburban Zanesville by their owner who then killed himself. Three leopards, a grizzly bear and two monkeys were taken alive.
That monkey was easy to catch and eat because it was humping a sheep at the time.
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Hertz Fires Lazy Muslims
Oct 21st
In Seattle, the job of driving the dirty rental cars to the carwash and then back to the lot is a union job- who knew? Anyways, the company insisted that if you took a retarded prayer rug with you to pray 3 times a day, you had to clock out first. The muslims said, “no way, we’re union! STFU!” and Hertz said, “lulz, you are fired.”
From the Seattletimes here:
Hertz has sent termination letters to 25 drivers at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport after they refused to agree to clock out for daily breaks, during which they normally pray.
The workers — all Somali Muslims who drive the company’s rental cars to and from the airport for cleaning and refueling — were among 34 Hertz employees suspended Sept. 30 for failing to clock out before breaks.
The rental-car company at the time said some of the workers were taking longer than the 10 minutes allowed.
Officials with Teamsters Local 117, which represents the workers, said the two sides had tried to negotiate an agreement that would have allowed the workers to return to their pre-suspension status, under which they wouldn’t have to clock out to pray.
But they were unable to agree.
That a union has to be involved to tell a company how to manage their minimum wage workers is a farce. Unions are killing this country. The Somali muslims shouldn’t have been fired for prayer rituals- should have been fired for bringing the cars back smellier than they found them.
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45 Days After Resignation, Steve Jobs Succumbs to Cancer
Oct 5th
Sad news about Steve Jobs. I wrote last month that his iPhone battery was permanently disconnected from his USB drive.
One of those things about twitter is that news travels faster there than on normal news media. I was the first to know about it among my friends, but only because I have the social graces of an ape and have a compulsion to check a twitter feed while out with real life friends. I tweeted out these among many additional RTs.
I saw one tweet that equated Steve Jobs to Tony Stark.
Nope, Jobs was more like a Howard Stark. Laying the foundation for those that follow in his footsteps. Jobs himself was much more akin to Gutenberg, the creator of movable type, which brought education and a leap forward in communication to the masses. He has created a generation of people more able to communicate with one another than ever before imagined.
And all this coming from a windows guy.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Jamey Rodemeyer Confirms: It Only Gets Better With Suicide
Sep 22nd
Jamey Rodemeyer became an hero last Monday, killing himself in front of his house because, despite participating in the hilarious “It Gets Better Project,” Jamey thought the only way his life could get better is to become wormfood. So he commited a public hate crime and killed a gay boy on his parents’ front lawn.
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
I don’t know who this Lady Gaga fella is, but I might go out and get one of his records if whiny kids are killing themselves over it.
Jamey Rodemeyer had plenty of support in his life- Both parents were around but working, and Jamey was seeing a psychologist as well as a social worker and had apparently had suicidal tendencies since 5th grade.
From Today.com here:
Suicide and bullying, however, seemed to remain at the forefront of Jamey’s mind and in his writing, and and on Sept. 8 he posted online about Suicide Prevention Week (Sept. 4-10). “No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you’re the ones calling me [gay slur] and tearing me down.”
“I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens,” he wrote the following day. “What do I have to do so people will listen to me?”
Both his family and friends were aware of Jamey’s suicidal thoughts for some time, his mother told the Buffalo News. “He was totally against bullying,” she said. “He has had issues since fifth grade. He had suicidal tendencies back then.” She says her son was in the care of both a therapist and a social worker.
So a mentally ill child who had been attempting or thinking about suicide since 5th grade is suddenly dead because of intolerant people? Puh-Leeeze. Jamey was probably sexually assaulted and simply never told anyone who it was, blaming himself for the assault. And the social workers and therapists probably thought he was just a confused gay kid rather than a victim of a violent act. Maybe Lady Gaga will dedicate a song to the dead kid. Then it will get better, right?
To Moms and Dads out there who have a kid getting on the Internet, writing about suicide and being gay, how about taking internet access away from the kid? How about staying at home instead of working so your distraught kid has someone to talk to in the afternoon instead of offing himself on the front lawn? Just an idea.
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