I can't believe that came from your mouth!
You’re Fired!
Stupid Girl Rearends Truck While Texting- Now Parents Demand Tougher Laws
Mar 5th
Taylor Sauer was a pretty little thing- but boy was she stupid. She was posting a status update to her Facebook page when the SUV she was driving rammed into the back of a truck while she was doing 80 on the Interstate.
Now her parents are understandably heartbroken. But now they are a crusade to ban texting while driving in their state- as if that would somehow have prevented the stupid actions of their precious angel.
From the DailyMail here:
Taylor Sauer, a teenager who was texting every 90 seconds during her four hour commute from Utah State University to her parents’ home on January 14, made a fatal mistake while behind the wheel.
Her prolific last text was ‘Driving and facebooking is not safe! Haha.’ Seconds later, she slammed into a tanker truck at 80mph.
Now, Ms Sauer’s grieving parents are hoping to use their daughter’s tragic story as a way to change driving laws, and make texting while driving in Idaho illegal.
She was driving late at night down a stretch of flat highway. Her last message was: ‘I can’t discuss this now. Driving and facebooking is not safe! Haha.’
Moments later, Ms Sauer slammed into a truck that was crawling up a hill. She was killed instantly.
Do all your texting at stop lights like me. People will beep to tell you when its time to go.
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Stunned and Heartbroken- Andrew Breitbart Dead
Mar 1st
Andrew Breitbart was a personal hero and an inspiration to me. He was a staunch conservative who fought back against deranged leftists. Perhaps more importantly, we was a cyber pioneer, creating a huge blogging site and news aggregator at Breitbart.com.
I keep checking the headlines wishing they weren’t true. Hoping he’s somehow trolling us all.
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Reason 768 to HomeSchool: Spanish Teacher Won’t Rape Your 8th Grader
Feb 24th
Yet another idiot teacher who spends four years in college just to get a teaching degree so she can go to jail after raping a child. This time the woman is Kathryn Murray in Houston. Houston has a rich history of hiring rapist teachers, and this trend continues. Kathryn Murray went over to her student’s house and had sex with him while his parents were away. The victim’s kid brother blew the whistle and notified the cops.
From the Dailymail here:
A middle school was caught having sex with a 15-year-old student in his home when his younger brother, aged 12, walked in on the pair. Kathryn ‘Camille’ Murray, 28, from Houston was arrested on Thursday and charged with sexual assault of a child. She is being held in lieu of $250,000 bond.
Earlier in the week Murray was removed from her post at Memorial Middle School after a report of a then unspecified inappropriate relationship was reported to the principal on February 13.
Murray went to the boys’ house the night of February 11 when his parents were away after he invited her over. The older boy had asked his younger brother in advance if he could invited ‘Mrs. Murry’ over to the home. Around midnight, according to the 12-year-old, he walked in on the pair in bed. He saw a tan bra and used condom on the floor and the teacher and his brother under the covers.
Life and career over at 28. No one will want to hire this sex offender. Guess she will have to start stripping to pay those student loan bills.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 610 to HomeSchool: Spanish Teacher is a Puta Violador
Feb 15th
Lisa Kays ran the Spanish club at her High School in Oklahoma city and she used that oportunity to rape and sodomize a 17 Year Old Student. Oh, and apparently she used the school’s email system to communicate about it with the kid.
From the DailyMail here:
Married Spanish teacher, 46, ‘had sex with student, 17, in her classroom and her car’
Lisa Kays, mother of two, ran after-hours Latin club
Husband filed for divorce last month after 26 years of marriageA high school teacher has been arrested on three counts of rape and two of oral sodomy after sexual encounters with a 17-year-old male student.
Lisa Kays, 46, taught Spanish at the school and ran the after-hours Spanish-Latin Club. She was taken away from the Putnam City High School in Oklahoma on Monday and arrested on five counts of sexual assault.
Kays, from Yukon, was held at Oklahoma County Jail on Monday but released after posting bail.
Police said suspicions were raised by an email sent on the internal mail service used on the high school campus.According to the Oklahoman, Kays’ husband Skyler Kays had filed for divorce last month. The estranged couple had been married for 26 years and have two children.
Throw away a career, children, a husband, and your freedom just to get porked? What a fantastic decision maker this teacher is!
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Possum Pirouette of Doom!
Feb 14th
A washed up ballerina and actress was driving in Los Angeles and spotted an injured possum. The crazy woman left her car running and ran into the street to help the animal and she was rewarded by being struck by two vehicles and dragged for 600 feet.
From the DailyMail here:
A renowned former ballet dancer and actress was fatally hit by two vehicles and dragged more than 600ft along the road after getting out of her car in an apparent attempt to help a wounded animal. Zina Bethune, 66, whose married name is Zina Feeley, was driving near Griffith Park in Los Angeles, California, when she saw what she thought was a wounded animal.
She left her Lincoln Town Car running on Forest Lawn Drive early on Sunday morning and got out to help what turned out to be a dead possum, when she was hit by an eastbound vehicle.
Ms Bethune was then thrown into the opposite lane, where she was hit by another vehicle that dragged her body more than 600ft, police said. She had severe head injuries and died at the scene.
What a stupid way to die. Bethune can be scraped up with a snow shovel and tossed right over the fence into Forest Lawn cemetery since that was where she became roadkill.
This reminds me about the time I fired an employee for playing with dead kitties.
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Whitney Had Two Crappy Bodyguards
Feb 12th
Whitney Houston, a washed-up singer and actress, got blitzed on booze at a Hollywood party, then swallowed a few Xanax and drowned while trying to take a bath. All while TWO bodyguards were nearby. The only thing more hilariously pathetic than that is that Twitter rumors said she had been stung to death by wasps.
Whitney's bodyguards should have been slow dancing with her, NOT watching as she destroyed herself with drugs and booze.
Whitney’s assured self destruction was a long time coming and everyone knew it. Those hilarious tweets about the wasps? Below.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Micron’s CEO Steve Appleton Rides the “John Denver Experience”
Feb 4th
Steve Appleton’s company Micron sure did make some good memory chips. And it earned Steve enough dough to allow him to indulge in risky hobbies, like flying in crappy airplanes that were known to have safety issues. He crashed and died just like other rich millionaires (Steve Fossett, JFK Jr.) who have no business pretending to be pilots.
Cartman Joins NAMBLA
Get More: SOUTH
PARKmore…
From DailyMail here:
The CEO of memory chip maker Micron died yesterday morning in a tragic accident when the small experimental fixed-wing plane he was piloting crashed at an airport. A recording of a conversation Steve Appleton had with air traffic controllers just moments before his death shows his panic as he desperately radioed: ‘I’d like to turn back in and, uh, land… coming back in’.
Mr Appleton, 51, a professional stunt plane pilot and former motocross racer, was the only person in the plane when it crashed at the Boise airport in Idaho. Trading in Micron stocks has been halted. Authorities received reports of a small aircraft that was on fire before it landed on Friday morning.
It’s not the first time Mr Appleton has been in a small plane crash, and questions have been raised in the past about whether the head of a large corporation should be engaging in such a dangerous hobby.
His amateur-built plane was a single-engine Lancair. Aircraft of this type have recently caught the attention of national aircraft safety authorities, who are in the midst of a study of their safety.
Know why so many self made millionaires die in plane crashes? Because they can afford flying lessons and get themselves a stupid airplane.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Unemployed Again
Jan 31st
It was the first day on my new job and I was all excited to get to drive the bobcat. That cackling is from Stuart, my so-called pal and trainer.
Thats twice this month that I’ve lost a sweet gig- the last job was a radar screen polisher for the Costa Concordia. But its okay that I’m back on unemployment. I’m sure Obama and his army of 99%ers will get me a new job any day now.
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FDA Sued By Stupid Scientists Who Can’t Read
Jan 30th
The FDA used its sophisticated network monitoring tools to reconstruct emails and documents sent via an external unauthorized email account, and ultimately the scientists who were bypassing FDA content filters were fired. Now they are suing the FDA for “spying on them” and doing so “secretly” despite the fact they see this every time they boot their FDA workstation:
(FDA) - The startup screen on FDA computers warns employees, “you have no reasonable expectation of privacy,” including any communication accessed or sent from the machine. This specific message has appeared since at least December 2010.
From the WaPo here:
The Food and Drug Administration secretly monitored the personal e-mail of a group of its own scientists and doctors after they warned Congress that the agency was approving medical devices that they believed posed unacceptable risks to patients, government documents show.
The surveillance — detailed in e-mails and memos unearthed by six of the scientists and doctors, who filed a lawsuit against the FDA in U.S. District Court in Washington last week — took place over two years as the plaintiffs accessed their personal Gmail accounts from government computers.
Information garnered this way eventually contributed to the harassment or dismissal of all six of the FDA employees, the suit alleges. All had worked in an office responsible for reviewing devices for cancer screening and other purposes.
Scientists who violate an obvious monitoring policy really have no legitimate complaint. Don’t want to be monitored? Use an SSH tunnel- at least until you get caught doing that too.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Symantec to Customers: Only a Fool Would Use PCAnywhere Now
Jan 26th
Symantec released a whitepaper that quickly glosses over that they were pwn3d back in 2006 and lost the source code to their flagship products. Now they are recommending that the software be turned off unless you really, really can’t do without it, but if you get h4x0red don’t blame them.
The whitepaper says:
Upon investigation of the claims made by Anonymous regarding source code disclosure, Symantec believes that the disclosure was the result of a theft of source code that occurred in 2006. We believe that source code for the 2006-era versions of the following products was exposed: Norton Antivirus Corporate Edition; Norton Internet Security; Norton SystemWorks (Norton Utilities and Norton GoBack); and pcAnywhere.
With this incident pcAnywhere customers have increased risk. Malicious users with access to the source code have an
increased ability to identify vulnerabilities and build new exploits. Additionally, customers that are not following general security best practices are susceptible to man-in-the-middle attacks which can reveal authentication and session information. General security best practices include endpoint, network, remote access, and physical security, as well as configuring pcAnywhere in a way that minimizes potential risks.At this time, Symantec recommends disabling the product until Symantec releases a final set of software updates that resolve currently known vulnerability risks. For customers that require pcAnywhere for business critical purposes, it is recommended that customers understand the current risks, ensure pcAnywhere 12.5 is installed, apply all relevant patches as they are released, and follow the general security best practices discussed herein.
I don’t know how much marketshare PCAnywhere maintains nowadays- most Windows desktops and servers ship with a free remote desktop client, and most customers I encounter today use either citrix or desktop sharing services like WebEx. But this whole episode is still an embarrassment to big yellow.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...RIP Dick Tufeld
Jan 25th
Lost in Space was a show that hit reruns when I was a child, and they both fascinated and terrified me. I am saddened to learn that the voice of B9, the Lost in Space robot died today. Dick Tufeld had a truly iconic voice.
He was 85. Went down swingin’ I hope.
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Canadian Web Developer Sentenced to Death in Iran
Jan 22nd
Saeed Malekpour is a web developer and an Iranian citizen who was living in Canada and trying to become a Canadian citizen. He flew back to Iran to visit his father in 2008 and somehow managed to get arrested for inventing the method for uploading porn to the internets. Now the mullahs for the Religion of Peace who are running Iran have sentenced him to death like a common street homosexual.
From Mashable here:
An Iranian court has upheld its decision to sentence 35-year-old Saeed Malekpour to death for developing photo-uploading software used by porn websites.
Iran’s Supreme Court maintains Malekpour promoted such sites because his name was on the software. Amnesty International says Malekpour was unaware that his software was being used for pornography. He was sentenced to death in June 2011. The court accused Malekpour of “insulting and desecrating Islam.” On Tuesday, the court ruled to move forward with the death sentence, which could be immanent, Amnesty says.
Malekpour, a Canadian citizen, was arrested when he visited his father in Iran in 2008. He was allegedly tortured for one year while he was held in solitary confinement in Tehran’s Evin Prison.
Iran’s draconian stance toward Internet freedom is well known. Earlier this month, the government announced a “Halal” Intranet, free of Western influence.
The man is going to get murdered by the Iranian state for writing an ActiveX script to transfer files from the desktop to a server? And liberals thought the world was being unfair to MegaUpload’s Kim DotCom? But a State that murders every homosexual it can find, is going to cap a Canadian WebDev guy, and the strongest adjective this article can use to describe the disgusting situation is “Draconian?!” We should tell the Iranians who the real author of that software was- Mumia Abu Jamal!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...PotHeads Win: Gabbie Giffords Quits Congress
Jan 22nd
Gabrielle Giffords, a Democrat, bravely fought back against her debilitating gunshot wound and is this week resigning from Congress. She is a patriot and a great American. I would have been proud to count her as my own representative had I lived in Arizona.
So am I going to turn this into a political issue? You betcha, but I really don’t care about what flavor the next Congressman is going to be from her district. Gabbie will be a tough act to follow and I’m certain her constituents will use her as the measuring stick to get someone great, regardless of the political party.
Jared Loughner, her attacker, had psychological problems that were extremely exacerbated by his marijuana abuse- an abusive level that is now often viewed in this country as a private matter and a right rather than the criminal matter it actually is. Decriminalization of marijuana and lack of the will to enforce laws on the books have led to massive amounts of drugs coming across the Mexican border and hundreds of deaths in Mexico and the US due to Cartel activities.
Gabby Giffords is quitting because she got shot in the head by a pothead psycho. Loughner became a pothead psycho because Arizona and the Federal Government got soft on marijuana enforcement. Just a sad situation all around.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Kim Jong Il is so Ronerie
Dec 19th
Somewhere today Sean Penn is crying crocodile tears over the death of one of his favorite dear leaders.
Thanks to Robb for the video!
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Don’t Hire Blonde Technicians
Dec 18th
Mikko pointed out this ridiculous photo he stumbled across today. A blonde woman, wearing safety glasses is stooped over an open laptop with a multimeter and a magnifying glass.
If someone wants to purchase this photo with the watermark removed, they can do so here. But I don’t understand what this image would illustrate to anyone. Girls are dumb? PC Repair done wrong?
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Rapper Slim Dunkin Gunned Down in Front on 13 Witnesses- No One Snitches
Dec 17th
What?? A rapper gunned down in a rap music studio? The hell you say! But its true. Rapper Slim Dunkin was in the studio getting ready to lay down some samples of music recorded by real musicians elsewhere, during which time he would recite some badly written angry urban poetry, and one of the people in the studio at the time shot him point blank in the chest after an argument. To keep matters real, the 13 other witnesses present refused to snitch to the cops, so the shooter got away.
From the NYDailyNews here:
Rapper Slim Dunkin has been gunned down in a music studio as he prepared to record a video.
Dunkin, whose real name is Mario Hamilton, was fatally shot in the chest after getting into an argument with another individual.
“Before the video shoot took place, it appears the victim and suspect got involved in a verbal altercation. We don’t know what that altercation was about. The suspect produced a weapon, discharged that handgun one time, striking the victim in the chest,” cops said.
Police have not been able to identify the shooter. He said 13 to 20 people were in the small office-type building at the time of the shooting, which took place around 5:30 p.m. local time.
“Right now we’re just trying to….identify who may have seen what, really just trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together,” he said. “It seems everybody witnessed something very different. We’re just trying to go back and make sense of everything.”
Slim’s favorite word was Nigger and he was a 9-11 truther, rapping that the twin towers fell because of a government inside job. But at least he ‘kept it real’ all the way up to the end, which I hope is a great comfort to his family.
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City Union Members Use Witchcraft in Negotiations
Dec 2nd
A Santeria Birdseed plot has resulted in one non-union idiot being fired and another one in hot water.
From the MiamiHerald here:
Two North Miami Beach police department employees allegedly tried to cast a spell over the city manager’s office.
A note to prospective municipal employees: If you’re looking for a way to help out beleaguered colleagues, casting a spell on your boss is probably not the way to go. Two North Miami Beach employees — one a police officer, the other a department office manager — are in hot water after trying to enlist some supernatural aid in the form of what they believed to be a Santeria practice.
Their alleged target: City Manager Lyndon Bonner, whose plan to slash the police budget prompted protests and union outrage this fall.
Their mystical material: handfuls of birdseed which, according to an internal affairs report, they hoped to scatter in and around Bonner’s fourth-floor office at City Hall. But when they tried to recruit a janitor to sprinkle the seeds, she balked — and turned them in.
Officer Elizabeth Torres told investigators she meant the manager no harm: “I want to clarify, that it’s nothing malicious and nothing intended to hurt that person.” She was told last week she faced termination over the August incident, which took place against the backdrop of a contentious budget season. Unionized city employees must go through an appeal process before they can be fired.
Office manager Yvonne Rodriguez, who is not a member of the union, was fired last week for her role in the plot.
While Santeria practitioners have argued that their practice constitutes a legitimate religion and bristle at depictions of the practice as black magic or witchcraft, they acknowledge that public displays of their traditions can spook non-believers. And both adherents and experts say that the Afro-Cuban religion, itself an amalgamation of Catholicism and African spiritual traditions, does not count malice — such as casting harmful spells — as one of its principles.
So if their fake religion of Santeria wasn’t going to harm the City manager, what the hell was the purpose of getting the stupid birdseed then? It most certainly wasn’t going to be a blessing or a which for success for the manager, now was it?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Occupy WallStreet Now Chanting: Bring Out Your Dead!
Nov 11th
The corpses are piling up at Occupy Wall Street Tent Cities across this great land. Most of the deaths are self-inflicted- two by drug overdose in Portland, one by a failed, albeit hilarious, attempt to catch a bullet with his mouth in Vermont, one gunned down in Oakland, and now one dead in Salt Lake City. A 53 year old leftist was found dead in a filthy tent in New Orleans too, and he had been dead for two days before the smell rose to a noticeable level among the trash and detritus of the occupiers there.
The occupy movements won’t stop, however, until the mobs that are assembled are finally able to get their human sacrifice at the hands of the police or National Guard. Once that lulzy dream of a violent confrontation with the man is attained, then the camps will come down.
Personally, I hope a thousand more Occupiers die. I believe strongly in the survival of the species, and nothing strengthens the genepool like killing off the weak and stupid.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Taiwanese Animators Explain Joe Paterno
Nov 10th
I was asked yesterday why I haven’t covered anything about the Penn State pedophilia. My response was that I really don’t follow sports and didn’t know all the facts. I really just haven’t delved into it. Now I don’t have to since the awesome animators of NMATV have summed it up nicely, complete with dancing Michael Jackson and the crowd of Pedobears.
Hey, just to make sure, if a guy rapes little boys, he’s gay, right?
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Bill Keane Lowers the Big Top on Family Circus
Nov 9th
Bill Keane, the longtime artist behind the Family Circus comic strip has died. Gary Larsen has some parting advice for him:
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