BelchSpeak

I can't believe that came from your mouth!

Follow me on TwitterRSS Feeds

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Posting Guidelines

Crowder Explains Jesus VS Muhammad

May 21st

Posted by Dr. Jones in Humor

No comments

It was nice knowing Steven Crowder. Speaking truth to hate like this will certainly earn him a fatwa. Enjoy.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ... Loading ...
crowder, muhammad

Yep, This Was Aliens

May 21st

Posted by Dr. Jones in Humor

No comments

Thanks to [GAS] this is pretty much how I remember Aliens.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ... Loading ...
aliens
coolingworld

Oklahoma, Where the Wind Comes Sweepin’ Down the Plain

May 20th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Eco-Religion

No comments

Those tornadoes in Oklahoma were devastating, and its tragic that lives were lost. Democrats are already trying to blame it on Global Warming, and the fact that Republicans are “deniers” and making trouble somehow. When I was a kid I’d heard all the fear mongering over the weather patterns in the ’70′s. Between shorts of Schoolhouse Rock, they’d have little snippets of kid’s news blaming a new ice age coming for all the bad weather- and know what was freezing the planet? Greedy Americans.

coolingworld

You can see the whole article over at DenisDutton.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
al gore, global warming, ice age, tornado

Asian Drivers Are Big Problem in Asia

May 20th

Posted by Dr. Jones in China

1 comment

Watch the guy on the scooter. He hits everything he can- three cars, another scooter, a bus, and finally the spot you really hope he hits.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
China, scooter

OccuTards Give Farming a Try

May 19th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Bizarre

No comments

There is a 12 Acre plot of land owned by the University of California. UC wants to sell the land for development into a strip mall. OccuTards are invading it to plant veggies. This is their video.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
activists, california, occupy

Lulzsec Skiddies Get Jail Time

May 19th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Crime

No comments

It looks like the lulziest thing that the script-kiddies in Lulzsec will do will be to go to jail. Four members of Lulzsec were sentenced last Thursday in a British court.

LulzSecLogo

From LegalInsurrection here:

A British court handed down jail time Thursday to four hackers that were part of a notorious splinter group of the Anonymous hacker collective known as LulzSec.

  • Ryan Cleary, 21, aka “ViraL,” received 32 months.  Cleary will also receive a separate sentence in connection with a charge of possession of images showing child abuse, to which he pleaded guilty.
  • Jake Davis, 20, aka “Topiary,” received two years
  • Ryan Ackroyd, 26, aka “Kayla,” received 30 months
  • Mustafa Al-Bassam, 18, aka “tFlow,” was given 20-months, though his sentence was suspended for two years.  Bassam was still in school when the attacks were carried out, likely a consideration in the Judge’s decision to suspend Bassam’s sentence.

The LulzSec splinter group was largely disrupted after it was revealed in an unsealed indictment in the US that one if its core members, Hector Xavier Monsegur aka “Sabu,” was previously arrested and had been secretly cooperating with the FBI to help infiltrate and disrupt the group.  Sabu’s cooperation is believed to have exposed many of the other LulzSec members’ activities and resulted in some of the subsequent indictments.

As mentioned previously, these skiddies are already pretending to be arm-flapping asspies to avoid extradition to the United States to face charges. I just hope those British jail cells allow enough wiggle room for their arm flapping- but if not, there is always the exercise yard.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
jeremy hammond, lulzsec

Dirty Hippies Really Hate Clown Sharks

May 17th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Bizarre

No comments

Nothing harshes the buzz of a long-haired hippie like the appearance of the dreaded Clown Shark.

Thanks to Dan for the tip!


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
Clowns, hippies, shark

NFL Star Pisses on IRS Sign

May 16th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Cyber

No comments

He pays taxes too. Funny, you don’t hear any complaints about the IRS from the deadbeats who pay no taxes, right?

“Audit this”- Philadelphia Eagles’ Evan Mathis shared a photo on his Instagram of him peeing on an IRS building sign twitter.com/BleacherReport…

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) May 15, 2013


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
irs, pee, taxes
goblingold

Goblin Robbery at Miami Airport

May 16th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Crime

No comments

Somewhere in Miami is a goblin who is really pissed right now that he didn’t book his connection through Atlanta. His 40 pound box of gold worth 625,000 dollars was stolen, probably by a TSA agent.

goblingold

From Local10 here:

A box containing $625,000 in gold arrived at Miami International Airport early Tuesday but disappeared about an hour and a half later, Miami-Dade police say.

An American Airlines plane arrived at Miami International Airport from Guayaquil, Ecuador, and docked at Gate D3 at 4:42 a.m. Tuesday, according to a Miami-Dade Police Department incident report. A group of employees unloaded the plane — including the box containing the gold — and moved it to the other side of the plane about 5:15 a.m.

A tug arrived at the plane from Gate D6, according to the report. It then drove away with the cart holding the plane’s cargo at 5:22 a.m. Surveillance video showed the tug continue to D37 before it entered an alley and disappeared from the video.

The cart was found in front of Gate D19 at 6:20 a.m. but without the box containing the gold.

The report doesn’t indicate who owns the gold or where it was headed. Sources told Local 10 the gold was going to NTR Metals in Doral, a refining and recycling company that deals in precious metals. The business offered no comment to Local 10 about the heist.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
airplane, goblin, miami, tsa

Dirty Sheepdog

May 15th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Belch.Com

1 comment


Dirty

Dirty Sheepdog, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.

Turned my back for ten minutes to answer some work emails and the dog started digging in the flower bed out front. This muddy puppy is the result.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
merida

Creepiest Spine Adjustments Ever

May 15th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Bizarre

No comments

And WTF is this guy doing with his fingers in this lady’s mouth??


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
chiropractor, los angeles
dickswanson

Mama Always Told Richard Swanson Not To Play Ball In the Street

May 15th

Posted by Dr. Jones in fail

No comments

Richard Swanson quit his job and sold his house and was going to dribble a soccer ball all the way from Seattle to Brazil as a charity stunt. He became roadkill, but at least they saved his soccer ball.

dickswanson

From FoxNews here:

A Seattle man trying to dribble a soccer ball 10,000 miles to Brazil in time for the 2014 World Cup died Tuesday after being hit by a pickup truck on the Oregon Coast.

Police in Lincoln City, Ore., said 42-year-old Richard Swanson was hit at about 10 a.m. while walking south along U.S. Highway 101 near the city limits. He was declared dead at a hospital. The driver has not been charged.

Police said Palmer’s soccer ball was recovered.

Of course everyone is calling this guy an hero for bumming naps on couches and walking to Brazil with a stupid ball. He decided to become a bum who chased his stupid ball into the path of an oncoming truck. Doesn’t sound very heroic to me.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
seattle, soccer, worst way to die

Agent Coulson Lives: Agents of SHIELD is Coming

May 14th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Comics

1 comment

And its produced and written by Joss Whedon. And it looks like its going to be featuring Power Man.

I love that Disney/ABC/Marvel are cranking out great programming, and I hope this series beats the daylights out of NBC’s Crappy Heroes series.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
Disney, marvel, superheroes

Out: Tattoos of Where Your 9 Kids Were Born. In: Lopping Off Tig Ol’ Bitties

May 14th

Posted by Dr. Jones in fail

No comments

After years of catching kids with a big butterfly net and tattooing their places of origin on her body, Angelina Jolie decided she would cut off her breasticles in order to not get cancer. This is also the same woman who used to carry a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck, so her logic in this decision is impeccable. Of course the press is fawning over her calling her “Brave” and “Courageous” instead of “Bat Shiat Crazy.”

From Reuters here:

Hollywood star Angelina Jolie has had a double mastectomy to reduce her chances of getting breast cancer and says she hopes her story will inspire other women fighting the life-threatening disease.

The Oscar-winning actress said her doctors had estimated she had an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer.

“Once I knew this was my reality, I decided to be proactive and to minimize the risk as much as I could. I made a decision to have a preventive double mastectomy,” she said.

Partner and fellow Hollywood star Brad Pitt was by Jolie’s side through three months of treatment that ended late in April, she said. The two became engaged last year.

Brad Pitt is a freakin’ schmuck. He dumped Jennifer Anniston to chase after Angelina’s Tig Ol’ Bitties and stood mutely by while she collected one of each children from the poorest locations on the planet like they were Burger King Smurf glasses. Then the stupid woman went anorexic while she tattooed her body so much she looked like she had been run over by a truck- Then Brad Pitt offers to marry this broken bitch and as soon as she says yes, she lops off her boobies. Maybe the doctor will suggest that Jolie might get brain cancer. Will she cut off her head next? Will the press continue to fawn over her noble bravery?


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ... Loading ...
angelina jolie, boobies, brad pitt, cancer
disneywheelchair

Cripples Make the Best Disney Tour Guides

May 14th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Humor

1 comment

If you think its awful that society makes handicapped people sort through glas bottles at the recycling center, then why not take a gimp with you to Disney? You get instant cuts to the front of the line.

disneywheelchair

From the Post here:

Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front, The Post has learned.

The “black-market Disney guides” run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

“My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,” crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.

“You can’t go to Disney without a tour concierge,’’ she sniffed. “This is how the 1 percent does Disney.”

The woman said she hired a Dream Tours guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a “handicapped” sign on it. The group was sent straight to an auxiliary entrance at the front of each attraction.

Disney allows each guest who needs a wheelchair or motorized scooter to bring up to six guests to a “more convenient entrance.”

A thousand bucks per day and a free trip to Disney? If I was disabled, this would be a dream job. But as a Pro Tip, if you have to wait 2.5 hours for the Small World ride, shoot yourself in the face. You are doing Disney wrong. There’s a thing called fast passes and magic hours.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ... Loading ...
Disney, handicapped
daltonnewhouse

Shocker: Dalton Newhouse Fries Himself Shooting Down Electric Lines

May 13th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Crime

2 comments

Meet Dalton Newhouse. He’s a West Virginia Trailer-dwelling gun nut and loves to shoot anything with feathers or fur. He is such a great shot that he can even shoot down high tension power lines. His idea to shoot down power lines to sell the copper worked out about as well as you could imagine for this genius. Dalton went to those happy hunting grounds in the sky when he picked up the power line and ate 50,000 volts.

daltonnewhouse

From the Charleston Gazette here:

22-year-old Dalton Newhouse of Oak Hill, and an accomplice, used a rifle to shoot down a high-tension power transmission line, police said. They planned to strip the line of its copper wiring and sell it.

When Newhouse picked up the wire, it killed him instantly, according to a news release. His accomplice was identified as Charles Raymond Norris, 22, of Oak Hill, who was arrested Wednesday.

Norris was charged with attempting to commit a felony, conspiracy to commit a felony and disruption of a public utility.

He was arraigned in Fayette County Magistrate Court, where he posted his own bail.

Appalachian Power spokesman Phil Moye said about 50 customers were without electricity for three hours. He called copper thefts a “tragedy” and urged would-be thieves to think twice.

Its a real shame if this idiot left family behind but he really got what he deserved. Man, this blog post just reminded me that I need to get batteries for my Blu-Ray remote.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ... Loading ...
electricity, west virginia, worst way to die

Sci Show Heralds the Coming of the Cicada Broods

May 13th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Science

No comments

I know of a few people planning outdoor weddings this summer. This will certainly make them more interesting.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ... Loading ...
cicadas

Reason 140 to HomeSchool: Eeeewww- School Counselor Bangs Her Dog

May 13th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Bizarre

No comments

Meet Stephanie Mickles- when she is not counselling school kids on their behavior, she is misbehaving herself by stuffing her vajayjay full of pooches.

And of course she is still an employee while the court case is pending. Eee-yuuuuck.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ... Loading ...
bestiality, maryland

Drudge Predicts Hackers Will Breach Obamacare DBs

May 13th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Crime

No comments

Matt Drudge tweeted a rare thought-stream this morning. In the wake of the Obama Administration using the IRS to harrass the Tea Party and to suppress votes in Ohio by denying Tea Party groups the ability to collect charitable donations, Drudge reminded everyone that soon the IRS will have access to all American health records too. The Obamacare model puts the IRS in charge of taxing health care plans and confirming that Americans are eligible for health insurance. This is the way it is done now at the Veteran’s Administration. Drudge Tweeted:

And soon the IRS will have your health information. Cough.

— MATT DRUDGE (@DRUDGE) May 13, 2013

Gov’t will have your ObamaCare ID #, access your health records, see your meds, know your diagnosis…

— MATT DRUDGE (@DRUDGE) May 13, 2013

Hackers will finally know if Bill Clinton has herpes. Hillary takes Topomax. When Pelosi had Botox. Obama’s valium dose. Biden’s latest MRI.

— MATT DRUDGE (@DRUDGE) May 13, 2013

White House official will know the health status of a reporter grilling him… “Mr. Woodward, do you really want to go there?”

— MATT DRUDGE (@DRUDGE) May 13, 2013

And in 25 years after the great civil war, after American Holocaust is over, a brave new president will unplug the database, vow NEVER AGAIN

— MATT DRUDGE (@DRUDGE) May 13, 2013

So is Drudge correct? Will hackers break into the Obamacare database and expose health privacy information of Americans? Would hackers release a database of anyone who received drug rehab treatments? How about HIV infections? What about abortions? Once the government puts all of that information in a single place it will get breached. Think it can’t happen? Well, it already did- at least in the Veterans Administration, the health model that Obamacare is based on.

In 2010 I had the pleasure of working on the VA’s network. I had full network packet access and some of the breaches I saw were absolutely shocking. For one, there was tons of Russian Botnet Beaconing on the network’s backbone. When traced, it was discovered that most of the beaconing was originating from small linux boxes that were purchased by the VA for use by doctors to remotely monitor veterans’ health. These tiny linux boxes monitored things like blood O2 levels, heartrate, IV drips, and so forth. But these boxes came from the manufacturer with these Russian botnets pre-installed.

When we asked the VA if they were going to disinfect these boxes, they refused to do so. They cited Veteran’s health as more important than cyber-security issues. So the Russian botnets stayed, collecting and exfiltrating data to criminals. And it will be child’s play for Anonymous or other hacker groups to stage a similar wide-scale breach. Think it was shocking when Wikileaks posted secrets online? Wait until no one has medical privacy anymore. Obamacare will be expensive, breachable, and will do nothing to improve anyone’s healthcare. Drudge thinks Ocare cyber breaches will happen, and I know for a fact it will.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ... Loading ...
anonymous, irs, obamacare, veterans administration, wikileaks
10289

HHS Secretary 10-289′s Insurance and Hospitals

May 11th

Posted by Dr. Jones in Jobs

No comments

In Atlas Shrugged, directive 10-289 forced private industries to sign over their intellectual property and profits to the government in the form of “gift certificates.” Now Kathleen Sibelius, the Secretary of Health and Human Services is strongly encouraging health industry officials to donate money to the department to help implement Obamacare. Of course, what is implied, is if these Health Care bigwigs don’t play along and donate, they will likely come under fire by the government.

10289

From the WaPo here:

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius has gone, hat in hand, to health industry officials, asking them to make large financial donations to help with the effort to implement President Obama’s landmark health-care law.

Over the past three months, Sebelius has made multiple phone calls to health industry executives, community organizations and church groups and asked that they contribute whatever they can to nonprofit groups that are working to enroll uninsured Americans and increase awareness of the law.

Federal regulations do not allow department officials to fundraise in their professional capacity. The industry official who had knowledge of the calls said there was a clear insinuation by the administration that the insurers should give financially to the nonprofits.

Meredith McGehee, policy director for the nonpartisan Campaign Legal Center, which researches government ethics issues, said she was troubled by Sebelius’s activities because the secretary seemed to be “using the power of government to compel giving or insinuate that giving is going to be looked at favorably by the government.”

So 10-289 is finally here, or at least part of it is. Obamacare is neither affordable nor fair, but the government will not stop trying to force it down our throats- even if it means that they forcibly take cash from health care providers to do it.


Share this:

  • Share
EchHmphHehAlright!Yowza!ZOMG!!1 (No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ... Loading ...
atlas shrugged, obamacare
12345»102030...Last »
  • Lookin’ For Somethin’?

    • Recent comments
    • Popular posts
    • Tags
    • Categories
    • Africa (36)
    • Art (131)
    • BabyBelch (215)
    • Belch.Com (862)
    • Bizarre (805)
    • China (151)
    • Clowns (58)
    • Comics (137)
    • Crime (1121)
    • Cyber (1171)
    • Distractions (582)
    • Eco-Religion (527)
    • fail (616)
    • gay (189)
    • golden tee golf (27)
    • Google (75)
    • Guns (14)
    • Humor (1652)
    • Jobs (14)
    • Mead (14)
    • MOTY (40)
    • Movies (287)
    • Music (567)
    • MySpace (130)
    • Obama (315)
    • Pirates (64)
    • Politics (1262)
    • racism (156)
    • Rogue Kitty (33)
    • RoP (339)
    • Science (96)
    • Sheepdog (7)
    • Stupid People (1290)
    • terror (111)
    • Travel (302)
    • Twitter (61)
    • Virginia (277)
    • Why Homeschool? (253)
    • Wineries (50)
    • witches (26)
    • You're Fired! (532)
    • Zombies (23)
    animal cruelty black culture byron sonne california cartney child abuse China christmas Disney drugs facebook fail fat florida gay gay agenda global warming golden tee golf Google hackers halloween hippies iphone islam james ray key west marijuana mcdonalds moonbats murder new york Obama pixar star trek star wars suicide taxes teacher rape tranny tsa twitter video games worst way to die wtf zombies
    • Reason 142 to Homeschool: Obama Teachers Won’t Bully Kids Who Support McCain (167)
    • Joe Ballmann- Teacher and Kid Toucher (144)
    • Reason 949 to HomeSchool: Cross-Eyed Social Studies Teacher Won’t Bang Your Daughter in Her Car (105)
    • Reason 91 to HomeSchool: Pasty Ginger History Teacher Won’t Bang Your 14 Year Old Son (87)
    • Russians Going Muslim Hunting (69)
    • Seung Cho Was Total Loser (68)
    • Darrell Dunafon And His Shocking Thrill-Seeking (62)
    • Hilarious Emo Fatty Lesbian Cutter Sierra Tickner (59)
    • Mary Shieler Cybersexed Brian Barrett to Death (55)
    • Rodney King Gets New House (54)
    • Robb: Looks to be a par 4...
    • Lulzsec Skiddies Get Jail Time: [...] mentioned previously, these skiddies are already pretending to be arm-flapping asspies to...
    • Dems starting to ban garbage bags - US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum: [...] Quote: Originally Posted by novasteve It would be so progressive to ban toilet paper. Only...
    • Robb: NaCl K9
    • leon: my understanding is those lines are aluminum...which he probably knew and the stupid reporter didn't
    • Robb: OK that looks cool...
    • Robb: WOW...
    • judy: another loser...he likes to hunt so glad he fried himself...how fitting!
  • Subscribe and Follow


    Get the Feed! Follow Me!
    Now Banned on Facebook!

    Follow BelchSpeak on Twitter



  • Shop Amazon!

  • Sidebar

  • Blogroll

    • DuckDuckGrayDuck
    • Fragile X Research
    • Geeks Are Sexy
    • Hot Air
    • IMAO
    • Junkscience
    • Michelle Malkin
    • Moonbattery
    • My Pet Jawa
    • Neatorama
    • Pat Dollard
    • Planck's Constant
    • PoppyCede
    • Red Alerts
    • RedState
    • SadHillNews
    • Six Meat Buffet
    • Snapped Shot
    • Stop the ACLU
    • Sweetness and Light
    • The Pagan Temple
    • The Right Rant
    • Trench Reynolds
  • News

    • Drudge
    • Twitchy
  • Security Sites

    • Krebs on Security
    • Slashdot
  • Older Posts

  • RSS Hot Air Feed

    • Quotes of the day
    • Report: Oversight on IRS targeting came from Washington all along
    • DOJ seized logs for five Fox News phones, possibly James Rosens’ parents’ house
    • Uber DC won one regulatory battle, but they still haven’t won the regulatory war
    • Ireland: Yes, we have sweet international tax incentives, sorry we’re not sorry
  • @CrimeNews on Twitter

    • Recent Trackbacks

      • Lulzsec Skiddies Get Jail Time: mentioned previously, these skiddies are already pretending to be arm-flapping...
      • US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum: Dems starting to ban garbage bags
      • Another Drunk Chick Falls Off the Party Bus: I first saw this story I thought I was re-reading an earlier story I...
      • Christie Squashes a Spider; PETA Has the Sads: hilarious that PETA should condemn squashing a spider. After all,...
      • DHS Ignored Saudi Warnings About Boston Bombers: I have written before, the Department of Homeland Security, who has...
RSS Feeds Copyright © 2013 BelchSpeak Log in
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.