I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Posts tagged wtf
Casey Anthony is Selling a New Product
Jun 4th
Everyone thought Casey Anthony hauled ass from Florida and disappeared after she was found not guilty of killing her daughter, but not so! She’s been super busy creating and marketing this brand new parenting aide, and she even made this awesome late night TV commercial about it!
She’s not satisfied with just one product. Soon she will release her own brand of duct tape featuring a Care Bears print!
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Loading ...Treadmills Are Awesome
May 6th
Treadmills are awesome because they make idiots bounce and faceplant.
Thanks to:
This is hilarious devour.com/video/treadmil… h/t @DavidLimbaugh
— Derek Hunter (@derekahunter) May 6, 2012
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Midnight Nightmare Music: Lisa Gail – “3 Second Rule”
Apr 19th
I was going to put up a brand new artist or some new song by a favorite beloved artist, but VEVO is down for the count after they failed at modernizing their site. So you are stuck with this ear-splitting song by this middle-aged harpy. She calls her song “3 Second Rule” because she allows guys to stare at her FUPA for only 3 seconds before they turn to stone.
So enjoy her bad dye job. Her horrible makeup. Her retarded cowboy dancers who I’m sure would have nothing to do with Lisa Gail unless they were getting paid. Love her belt. Gawk at her gawdy jewelry. Marvel at her costume changes. Ponder where they get tanning beds this big to brown her dumb ass.
I’ve got a 3 second rule for fat ugly singers grazing on school house lawns. And now I remember why I hate line dancing. At 1:26 you can see a fabulous camel toe!
At 2:35 who the hell is singing backup? Alvin and the Chipmunks?! At the 3:20 mark she walks out of the school bowlegged.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Spoiled Bitches Have Hot Problems
Apr 18th
This is a seriously troll video I think, but one thing is certain- their obvious problem is lack of talent.
Via:
God help us. bit.ly/HQgcxb
— JJ Bugs (@DuckDuckGrayDuk) April 18, 2012
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...PIN!! WTF Freaky Easter Tomb Bowl
Mar 14th
Jess was cackling on the couch and I had to look over her shoulder to see what the hell she found on Pinterest. The photo is not complete without the awesome whacky caption.
Source: Uploaded by user via Diane on Pinterest
Plant an Easter Garden! Using potting soil, a tiny buried flower pot for the tomb, shade grass seed, & crosses made from twigs. Sprinkle grass seed generously on top of dirt, keep moistened using a spray water bottle. Spritz it several times a day. Set it in a warm sunny location. Sprouts in 7-10 days so plan ahead. The tomb is EMPTY! He is Risen! He is Risen indeed
I built an Easter garden and the cat pooped in it.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Bully Shortage Spawns Gasoline Drinkers and Doll Head Sniffers
Mar 12th
There is an appalling lack of bullys on the streets these days. This bully shortage is directly proportional to the rise in Emo Kids, poor dressers and sniveling crybabies on sandlots across the country. It is also leading to other intolerable weirdness like the chick in this video who quaffs gallons of gasoline per year and the fat girl who stiffs a decapitated doll’s head for comfort.
One or two well placed wedgies or swirlies can halt a lifetime of asshattery. Won’t you please help?
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Don’t Hire Blonde Technicians
Dec 18th
Mikko pointed out this ridiculous photo he stumbled across today. A blonde woman, wearing safety glasses is stooped over an open laptop with a multimeter and a magnifying glass.
If someone wants to purchase this photo with the watermark removed, they can do so here. But I don’t understand what this image would illustrate to anyone. Girls are dumb? PC Repair done wrong?
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Look At This Effing Hipster in a Tree
Dec 4th
Because the mainstream media won’t tell you where to find trees. Its a media conspiracy, man.
I think that using an old iPhone 3G is so ironic, don’t you?
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Tramp Gets Epic TrampStamp
Nov 29th
A stupid woman named Rossie Brovent slept around on her tattoo artist boyfriend- and that line right there demonstrates the amazing decision-making ability of this woman. She then got drunk with her boyfriend, signed a waiver, and passed out while she received a tattoo of what she thought was supposed to be a scene out of the Narnia Chronicles. Again, decision-making is not one of Rossie’s character traits. She ended up with this:
Yep, she got a steaming pile of poo with flies swarming it. From the Sun here:
A FURIOUS woman is suing her ex-boyfriend after he tattooed a steaming poo on her back.
Rossie Brovent wants $100,000 in damages from Ryan Fitzjerald.Rossie, from Dayton, Ohio, US, wanted a scene from the Narnia trilogy inked on her back. Instead she was left with a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.
Tattoo artist Ryan turned rogue after discovering that Rossie had cheated on him with his best friend.
Rossie originally tried to have her ex-lover charged with assault but she had signed a consent form agreeing the tattoo design was “at the artist’s discretion”.
She said: “He tricked me by drinking a bottle of cheap wine with me and doing tequila shots before I signed it and got the tattoo. Actually I was passed out for most of the time, and woke up to this horrible image on my back.”
Yeah, like a tattoo artist has a hundred grand lying around. I think Ryan did the nation a favor by properly labeling a container.
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OMG Is That Bone? Raised Lettering?
Nov 12th
This is a very cool business card. Thanks [GAS]!
The kind of card that will make Patrick Bateman BatShiat Crazy.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Guy on a Buffalo Goes on a Vengeance Rampage!
Oct 18th
The long-awaited final installment of the Guy on a Buffalo, who is fighting a mean case of gunshot wound, but is made better by the healing power of racoon dumplings. Sounds crazy, but its true!
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Of Course the Preacher’s Wife Won’t Swallow
Oct 15th
Cause that would be a sin? A nasty question on the Family Feud.
And who knew the Family Feud was still on the air? What happened to Richard Dawson? But at least Montel Williams is looking healthy again, huh?
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...I Love Guys on Buffalos Who Give Indians What Fer
Sep 29th
Adam Savage from MythBusters tweeted this awesome video.
I would watch this as a TV show over any other reality series. Get right on that, CBS.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Finally, a Video Game for the Rest of Us
Sep 3rd
I have a hard time believing this is going to be a real video game.
General online consensus is that this is a trolling PR stunt of some kind. But I can reveal, as a trusted insider, some of the surprise features of this “game.”
- You have to spend cash to keep the ships clean or else typhoid breaks out and kills the cargo and most of the crew. Although it is fun to feed the sharks that pursue your slave ship.
- As more and more of the slave markets close due to anti-slavery movements, you have to bribe politicians and fight other slave traders for turf.
- You eventually form the Democrat party in the only remaining territory that allows slavery- the US South
- After slavery is abolished in the US, gameplay does not stop. Instead you continue to terrorize africans using the Klan and Jim Crow laws.
- You finally consolidate power and secure the African vote with a system of free handouts, affirmative action and aggressive jailtime for the males.
But even if this does turn out to be a real game- Rockstar games made Grand Theft Auto where you bitchslap prostitutes- would this really be any more exploitative than that?
And with so many other empire-building strategy games where growth, success and ultimately, victory, relies upon resources and commerce- usually gold, lumber, oil, land, etc… Why not include the realistic ultimate commercial good? Human trafficking?
And just so we don’t forget who started slavery and perpetuated it for a thousand years, and in some cases, are still practicing it today- Click here.
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White Trash Dad Gets Crappy Tattoo
Aug 5th
I guess when you only get to see your daughter under state supervision every third weekend you mistaken crappy child art as something meaningful.
Looks like a gunshot wound and a gash from a tire iron. He should have knocked up someone with some artistic talent to let those creative genes trickle down to the offspring, ’cause this little girl is completely talentless.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Rolling Wolfpack
Aug 1st
I bet you didn’t know that you had to recharge your werewolves in the wall outlet at night, and I bet you also didn’t know that they can achieve speeds of 6 mph when rolling downhill.
I think this is the part of Jacob’s family that he doesn’t talk about.
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Don’t Pump and Dump- Spray the Cops
Jun 30th
Stephanie Robinette is a new Mom. Congrats, I guess. She just got busted after getting hammered at a wedding and beating up her husband. When the cops showed up, she locked herself in the car. Funny thing about cops, they don’t take no for an answer when they ask you to come along. Steph here had another idea- She whipped out her lactating tit and squirted the cops, adding the charge of assault on police to resisting arrest and domestic battery. Good times!
From FoxNews here:
An Ohio woman attempted to fight off police trying to remove her from her car by spraying them with her breast milk. Stephanie Robinette got into a fight with her husband while attending a wedding at the Bridgewater Banquet & Conference Center in the city of Delaware on Saturday.
Her husband told police his 30-year-old wife struck him several times, then locked herself in their vehicle.
“When deputies attempted to remove Robinette from the vehicle, she advised the deputies that she was a breast-feeding mother,” said Sheriff Walter L. Davis III. As deputies went to restrain her, he said, Robinette “proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk.”
What an udder failure. Seems like those cops may be a little lactose intolerant, but no use crying over spilt milk.
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Bad Bullet Placement Leads to Very Happy Father’s Day
Jun 22nd
Thanks to IOwntheWorld here:
I can’t do 45 minutes. But no wonder this guy is smiling so big.
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Mexican Cartels Bringing the Thunderdome
May 26th
The softening of the drug wars and the popular culture becoming more accepting and permissive in marijuana use is causing lots of death and destruction south of the border for a supposed “victimless crime.” Whole towns have been burned to the ground and thousands are refugees within their own country because every 22 year old in the US wants to sit on their ass, smoke bongs and play Xbox. Check out what the cartels are doing to their war machines. Total Mad Max.
From Deadlinelive here:
For over a year, the criminal organization known as Los Zetas has moved in to the Falcon Lake area on the Texas-Mexico border, chasing out paramilitary groups from the Gulf Drug Cartel. As these two drug cartel organizations fought for this crucial smuggling route or ‘plaza,’ Los Zetas burned down the city of Mier and several big businesses in the town of Miguel Aleman, Mexico.
With the exception of the local news media on both sides of the border, the major news outlets in Mexico and the U.S. have been silent, as local residents have been forced out of their homes, creating a refugee crisis to the point in which the city of Roma, Texas has been involved in humanitarian tasks to assist the city government of Miguel Aleman, providing food and clothing to people in need.
The gun battles, ambushes, and tactics used by the drug cartels are becoming more sophisticated. In the counter-attack, the Gulf Cartel has moved in several hundred kilometers into Zeta territory in the state of Nuevo Leon, where on a daily basis, hundreds of dead mutilated bodies have been found.
Smoking pot is not a victimless crime if you buy it off the streets. Liberals abhor killing off villages in the name of big business and colonization, but are just peachy with it if it means they can get high.
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Woman is Wrong
May 17th
And they say kids these days just aren’t smart? Some are smarter than you would think. I grabbed this awesome photo from a customer’s visualized collection of his network traffic. The whole security team LOLed.
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