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Posts tagged tsa
Goblin Robbery at Miami Airport
May 16th
Somewhere in Miami is a goblin who is really pissed right now that he didn’t book his connection through Atlanta. His 40 pound box of gold worth 625,000 dollars was stolen, probably by a TSA agent.
From Local10 here:
A box containing $625,000 in gold arrived at Miami International Airport early Tuesday but disappeared about an hour and a half later, Miami-Dade police say.
An American Airlines plane arrived at Miami International Airport from Guayaquil, Ecuador, and docked at Gate D3 at 4:42 a.m. Tuesday, according to a Miami-Dade Police Department incident report. A group of employees unloaded the plane — including the box containing the gold — and moved it to the other side of the plane about 5:15 a.m.
A tug arrived at the plane from Gate D6, according to the report. It then drove away with the cart holding the plane’s cargo at 5:22 a.m. Surveillance video showed the tug continue to D37 before it entered an alley and disappeared from the video.
The cart was found in front of Gate D19 at 6:20 a.m. but without the box containing the gold.
The report doesn’t indicate who owns the gold or where it was headed. Sources told Local 10 the gold was going to NTR Metals in Doral, a refining and recycling company that deals in precious metals. The business offered no comment to Local 10 about the heist.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ...TSA Screener Busted Stealing Tech From Travelers
Dec 6th
Yet another crook employed by the TSA has been busted stealing iPads from travelers. Sean Henry of Brooklyn New York worked at JFK Airport and had a nasty habit of taking expensive equipment out of the bags of airline passengers.
From ABC here:
A Transportation Security Administration screener has been arrested on charges he swiped iPads and other electronic devices from passengers’ luggage at John F. Kennedy Airport.
Port Authority spokesman Steven Coleman said Wednesday that 32-year-old Sean Henry, of Brooklyn, was nabbed in a sting operation using decoy bags in cooperation with the TSA.
Coleman says Henry was arrested after leaving work carrying in his backpack two planted iPads and other electronic devices. He says stolen items were also found in Henry’s home.
The 10-year veteran of the federal agency was arrested on charges of grand larceny and official misconduct.
I travel very frequently. I never take my eyes off my laptop bag as it goes through the screening process. And its not just he TSA who might steal a laptop or iPad- other travelers can also easily snag a piece of equipment, either on purpose or by accident. Additionally, make your gear uniquely and easily identifiable- whether its with stickers, a skin, or even paint to prevent it from getting mixed up by someone else. I’m amazed at how often different travelers put identical looking Macbooks through the scanner, and I don’t know how they manage to reclaim their own laptops.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TSA Agent Busted Red-Handed With Stolen iPad
Sep 27th
All TSA Agents steal. If not outright property belonging to travelers, they steal tax dollars that are spent by the government so they can stand around at airports and harass people. This TSA Agent got his dumbass fired when a camera team tracked down their stolen iPad.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
TSA Agents Are Retards- Threaten to Shut Down all Airport Traffic Over 4 YO Hugging Grandmother
Apr 24th
The key to risk management is being able to accurately identify what is a real risk and what is not. This is why TSA continues to fail to stop any terror attacks and why they waste billions and billions of dollars on security theater. In the latest instance, at tiny airport Wichita, a little four year old girl went backwards through the screening check to hug her grandmother. TSA agents, being totally retarded to a man, claimed Granny had passed a gun to the little girl and threatened to shut down the airport because tiny Isabella was now public enemy number one.
From the DailyMail here:
Isabella then, according to her mother, ‘excitedly ran over to give her grandmother a hug, as children often do. They made very brief contact, no longer than a few seconds.’
The young girl was immediately detained by security agents, who apparently shouted at her that she would have to be frisked too, and refused to let her mother explain what has happening.
Ms Brademeyer wrote: ‘It was implied, several times, that my mother, in their brief two-second embrace, had passed a handgun to my daughter.’In her terror, Isabella tried to run away rather than face a full body pat-down, which unsurprisingly enraged the TSA officers further.
One officer even told the girl’s mother that the airport would have to be shut down and every flight cancelled if the four-year-old did not co-operate.
They also apparently described the little girl as a ‘high security threat’.
As Isabella was taken into a side room for a pat-down, accompanied by her mother, she could not stop crying and refused to let the agents touch her.
An officer repeatedly said she had ‘seen a gun in a teddy bear’ in the past, in an apparent attempt to justify the situation.
Ms Brademeyer continued: ‘The TSO loomed over my daughter, with an angry grimace on her face, and ordered her to stop crying.
‘When my scared child could not do so, two TSOs called for backup saying, “The suspect is not cooperating.” The suspect, of course, being a frightened child. They treated my daughter no better than if she had been a terrorist.’Isabella continued to cry, and officers said the family would have to leave the airport as the TSA was unable to frisk the four-year-old.
When a manager was called, he decided that the distraught Isabella could be checked alongside her mother, and let the family pass through security at last.
If TSA agents cannot determine what is and is not a risk, then the entire purpose of their existence is a sham. And I’ve seen the handgun in a teddy bar too. Its on a poster in the TSA’s training room.
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TSA Agents Will Steal Your iPads
Apr 14th
Meet Clayton Dovel. He was a TSA agent that was screening checked luggage. When he found iPads in them, he stole them. Looks like he didn’t get a chance to reset one of them to factory default before the onboard tracking program led police to his home.
From the DailyMail here:
A baggage handler has been charged with theft by a public servant after he stole tablet computers from the luggage he was tasked with checking for security threats.
Clayton Keith Dovel, 36, of Bedford, Texas, was busted in February after he was found to have eight iPads believed to have been stolen from passengers.
Dovel worked in a ‘resolution room’ at Dallas-Fort Worth Airport, where checked bags are examined before they’re placed on a flight. He was suspended from his position as a TSA agent.
Police were led right to Dovel’s home in Bedford by one of the theft victims, who was able to track his stolen device.
The TSA has still yet to catch a terrorist. But they steal iPads.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
TSA Agent in Craigslist Orgy
Mar 29th
So what do TSA agents do when they get bored groping people all day long? They go to Craigslist orgies at night.
From WTOP here:
A former Transportation Security Administration employee is facing prostitution charges after police busted a sex operation in an area hotel.
Bryant Livingston, 39, of Manassas is facing five counts of prostitution-related charges.
After a manager called 911, police found naked women in a Silver Spring hotel Feb. 15, along with men in various stages of undress.
Livingston was seen escorting men and women out of the hotel room, police said.
One man told police he paid $100 for a sex act and he found out about the “party” on Craigslist. Livingston was a floor manager at Dulles International Airport.
A spokesman with the TSA confirmed Livingston is no longer employed by the TSA.
Livingston pleaded guilty to a second degree assault charge in 1999.
So what is the Venn Diagram of TSA agents and Prostitutes? Glad you asked.
Fox News reports that Livingston was arrested while on duty at Dulles! I would have cheered loudly if I was there to see that.
Bryant Jermaine Livingston, 39, was arrested while on the job as a supervisor of TSA agents at Dulles International Airport.
Here’s his photo:
Why is TSA hiring anyone with an assault record to perform patdowns on Americans? Elsewhere in the news, two TSA agents partied down and were shooting guns out of a hotel window in South Beach.
Thanks to Mary for the tip!
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TSA Agents Are Retards: Swabbing Handicapped Child’s Hands for PipeBomb Residue
Mar 19th
Those Blue-shirted jackboots for the TSA, who have still never prevented a single terrorist plot, detain a family so they can swab a three real old cripple boy’s hands for explosives residue. Apparently these goons are too stupid to understand that tiny crippled children aren’t even potty trained, much less trained at assembling pipe bombs.
How much longer are we going to pay grown people a good salary to harass travelers? The TSA is a massive budget drain and they have never, and never will, accomplish anything.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TSA Lampooned on SouthPark
Mar 15th
Yep, this is the TSA I know and loathe and have to deal with on a semi-monthly basis when I travel for work. In this week’s SouthPark, Craig’s mom dies when falling in the toilet without checking to see if the seat was down. So the Toilet Safety Administration is born requiring seatbelts, strip searches and asshole inspection by huge fat black women with little to no education. Just like in real life!
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DHS Monitoring Twitter; Ejects Chavs From US
Jan 30th
Alternate title of this post: When Idiots Converge. Leigh Bryan, a 24 YO doofus from Ireland, and probable chav, tweeted that he was going to “destroy america” and “dig up” Marilyn Monroe’s corpse. Upon landing in LAX, he was intercepted by customs and searched and then told that he was not allowed entry onto US soil. It seems he was watchlisted by DHS idiots who don’t understand that pasty white guys from the UK use terms like “destroy” to mean “get wasted.”
From the Mail here:
Two British tourists were barred from entering America after joking on Twitter that they were going to ‘destroy America’ and ‘dig up Marilyn Monroe’. Leigh Van Bryan, 26, was handcuffed and kept under armed guard in a cell with Mexican drug dealers for 12 hours after landing in Los Angeles with pal Emily Bunting. The Department of Homeland Security flagged him as a potential threat when he posted an excited tweet to his pals about his forthcoming trip to Hollywood which read: ‘Free this week, for quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America‘.
After making their way through passport control at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) last Monday afternoon the pair were detained by armed guards. Despite telling officials the term ‘destroy’ was British slang for ‘party’, they were held on suspicion of planning to ‘commit crimes’ and had their passports confiscated.
Federal agents even searched his suitcase looking for spades and shovels, claiming Emily was planning to act as Leigh’s ‘look out’ while he raided Marilyn’s tomb. Bar manager Leigh, from Coventry, and Emily, 24, from Birmingham, were then quizzed for five hours at LAX before they were handcuffed and put into a van with illegal immigrants and locked up overnight.
‘When we arrived at the prison I was shoved in a cell on my own but after an hour two huge Mexican men covered in tattoos came in and started asking me who I was. ‘They told me they’d been arrested for taking cocaine over the border. When the food arrived on the tray they took it all and just left me with a carton of apple juice.‘
They spent 12 hours in separate holding cells before being driven back to the airport where they were put on a plane home via Paris.
Aww, poor baby only got apple juice.
Yes, its kinda absurd that DHS thinks that they are catching terrorists by reading tweets. Its refreshing to see them fail at this as badly as their airport screening prevents terror too. As long as DHS continues to pretend that white males plant bombs, they will fail at their task.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Midnight Music: Remy – “Grandma Got Indefinitely Detained (A Very TSA Christmas)”
Dec 21st
Remy is back just in time for the festive yule with this awesome lampoon of the TSA.
Now that the troops are home from Iraq, are any of the Patriot Act provisions or the retarded TSA going to be sunset? Of course not.
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Amazing: TSA Agent Has Time to Steal When Not Anal Probing
Jul 7th
Nelson Santioago got a sweet ass job in Ft. Lauderdale sticking his fingers up the asses of normal travelers and also stealing high tech equipment from the luggage after it went through screening. He often sold the gear before he was done with his shift. Although he shows considerably more intelligence than most retards wearing the blue TSA shirts, and has a harder work ethic, Nelson is now going to jail for getting caught with a flyer’s iPad down his britches.
From the DailyPulp here:
While most Transportation Security Administration employees are busy groping people or taking naked pictures of them, the cops say one of those employees was putting fliers’ electronics down his pants.
30-year-old Nelson Santiago stole around $50,000 worth of electronics over the past six months from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport’s Terminal 1.
Santiago — a TSA officer since 2009 — was caught earlier this week by a Continental Airlines employee taking an iPad out of someone’s luggage and stuffing it into his pants. Santiago admitted to stealing computers, GPS devices, video cameras, and other electronic merchandise from luggage he was supposed to be screening.
Santiago would immediately take pictures of his new goods and upload the photos online to sell the stuff, and would typically sell the stolen goods to people before his shift was even over.
And just like every other TSA agent in the history of the United States, agent Nelson Santiago caught zero terrorists during his employment period.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
TSA Agents Are Retards: Nigerian With Fake ID and Boarding Pass? He Gets on the Plane.
Jul 1st
If you are retarded, elderly with an adult diaper, or an infant, you get anal probed at the nation’s TSA checkpoints. But if you are a Nigerian, rank with body odor, with a think accent, with a fake ID, and someone else’s boarding pass, then by all means, climb aboard your choice of beautiful American jetliners!
From the LATimes here:
Virgin America Flight 415 from New York to Los Angeles was already two hours into its journey when some passengers in the upscale “Main Cabin Select” section complained that the man seated in 3E reeked of body odor.
A flight attendant asked Olajide Oluwaseun Noibi for his boarding pass and was surprised to see it was from a different fight and in someone else’s name. She alerted authorities, and Noibi went back to sleep in his black leather airline seat. When the plane landed, authorities chose not to arrest Noibi, allowing him to leave the airport.
On Wednesday, Noibi was arrested trying to board a Delta flight out of Los Angeles. Once again, he had managed to pass undetected through security with an expired ticket issued in someone else’s name. Authorities found at least 10 other boarding passes, none of which belonged to him. Law enforcement sources told The Times they suspect Noibi has used expired plane tickets to sneak on to flights in the past. On his website, Noibi describes himself as a “frequent traveler.”
Noibi was able to move past two checkpoints — at the security screening area and at the gate — with his expired ticket and university ID.
The man didn’t even use an acceptable form of ID to get through security. I guess if you stink and might be a Muslim, the TSA doesn’t want to offend you. Meanwhile, they are still giving swirlies to old ladies asses at checkpoints. If you wear the blue shirt of TSA, look in the mirror to see a retard.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...The TSA are Retards: 45 Minutes to Probe Dying 95 YO Woman’s Diaper
Jun 27th
The TSA continues to wage their war against the American People. This time they strip searched a dying woman to see what she had hidden in her diaper. The woman was travelling home to Michigan to die from her battle with leukemia when she was humiliated by the Obama administration’s blue shirted thugs at a Panama City airport.
From the NewsHerald here:
Jean Weber of Destin filed a complaint with the Department of Homeland Security after her 95-year-old mother was detained and extensively searched last Saturday while trying to board a plane to fly to Michigan to be with family members during the final stages of her battle with leukemia.
Her mother, who was in a wheelchair, was asked to remove an adult diaper in order to complete a pat-down search.
Weber’s mother entered the airport’s security checkpoint in a wheelchair because she was not stable enough to walk through. Weber said she did not know whether her mother had triggered an alarm during the 45 minutes they were detained. Her mother was first pulled aside into a glass-partitioned area and patted down. Then she was taken to another room to protect her privacy during a more extensive search.
She said security personnel then came out and told her they would need for her mother to remove her Depends diaper because it was soiled and was impeding their search.
Retards. If you put on a blue shirt and work for the TSA you are a retarded american. Anyone who can’t use their god given rights to tell right from wrong and use good judgement shouldn’t be paid my tax dollars in order to harass dying citizens. Won’t Congress do something to stop this idiocy?
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TSA Agents Are Retards: Singling Out Mentally Disabled for Groping Patdowns
Jun 9th
Who is the retard in this video below? The mentally disabled man or anyone wearing a blue TSA uniform?
Dr. David Mandy: Special Needs Son Harassed by TSA at Detroit Metropolitan Airport: MyFoxDETROIT.com
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. TSA agents are all retards and menaces to our society. They have never stopped, and never will stop, a terrorist plot. They are all incredibly overweight and are barely fit for burger flipping duty at McDonalds, much less in a highly paid government position that draws a pension.
The evil bastards in the blue shirt made this kid throw away a stupid plastic hammer- meanwhile allowing a similar hammer to pass through screening in his mom’s backpack.
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Blogger Bob is as Fat and Smug as You’d Expect
May 18th
A cheap JC Penny suit and bad combover completes the picture of the mouthpiece of TSA, or as I call him, Chief Retard. His real name is Curtis Robert Burns, AKA TSA’s Blogger Bob, and he is a professional hired troll of the TSA. He smiles because he hates you.
From CNET here:
The Transportation Security Administration appears to have pulled off an Internet first: hiring the U.S. government’s most controversial spokesblogger.
All federal agencies have spokesmen. Some have blogs. But it’s the pseudonymous Blogger Bob who, more than anyone else, has come to represent the online voice and personality of his employer–not always with entirely successful results.
Internet fact checkers have accused Blogger Bob of eliding relevant facts about disputes involving the TSA. A Forbes.com column noted that Blogger Bob had curbed critical comments (and then subsequently permitted them). Reason Magazine has dubbed Blogger Bob someone who’s paid to “mock people harassed by TSA.”
Whenever a TSA agent fondles a child or a woman or an elderly person, its Bob’s cherished duty to protect the members of his retarded gestapo clan.
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TSA Agents are Retards: Checking Diapers for Bombs
May 11th
I have said it so many times, but it bears repeating: TSA Agents are retarded. They should qualify for special assistance, oh wait, they get paid gobs of money by us tax payers to stand around barking useless orders at airports. And it looks like they are now giving rectal exams to infants. If you wear the blue uniform of a TSA agent, this post is meant for you. You are a retard. You have no shame and no real purpose in life.
Why don’t these retarded citizens go get helpful jobs like sorting broken glass in recycling centers? Or be those guys who stand around holding giant arrow signs pointing to places of business? Or pick up litter on the highway? These guys in the video below get tired of holding signs, so they trade in their placards for a blue TSA uniform and scowl of disdain for the American traveler.
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TSA Agents are Retarded: Post Child Porn on Facebook
Apr 25th
Meet Tom Gordon, Jr. He’s a TSA agent who enjoyed patting down little kids at airports has now been suspended as a TSA officer. Why? He was busted uploading child pornography to his Facebook account. Mind you, I have been lectured by TSA agents that they are highly trained and are smart, just like this guy pictured below who makes a whopping salary comparable to two burger flippers at McDonald’s.
Yep, Ol’ Gropey McForehead above who can’t even find deodorant or a razor in his own medicine cabinet, much less with an XRay machine of your luggage, is authorized to touch your kid at an airport. But not anymore. From Philly.com here:
A passenger screener at Philadelphia International Airport is facing charges that he distributed more than 100 images of child pornography via Facebook.
Thomas Gordon Jr. of Philadelphia, who routinely searched airline passengers, uploaded explicit pictures of young girls to an Internet site on which he also posted a photograph of himself in his TSA uniform.
Homeland Security agents arrested the TSA officer March 24, and he is being held without bail.
Citing privacy rules, TSA spokeswoman Ann Davis would not say if Gordon has been suspended from his job, but noted that he had been in federal custody since his arrest.
“We can assure the public that he is no longer working at the airport,” Davis said.
Gordon had uploaded five explicit photographs of young girls onto the web site Photobucket. Gordon’s Photobucket account also included a picture of him wearing his blue TSA uniform.
Gordon used at least six Facebook accounts and employed multiple names “to upload and store images of sexual exploitation of minor children.”
Authorities also seized from Gordon an HP laptop and a four-gigabyte flash drive that they say contained more than 600 images or movies containing child pornography, according to court filings.
The TSA can’t even screen their own employees and they are in charge of screening US?? And this guy is clearly stupid, and a slob to boot.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...TSA Agents Are Retards: Frisking White 6-Year-Old Girls
Apr 13th
It has been ten years since Islamic males walked past security at Logan Airport and hijacked American and United Airliners and used them as missiles to destroy US landmarks. And in the ten years since, the TSA has not stopped a single terrorist attempting to terrorize America. They have intercepted 30 metric tons of deodorant, creams and toothpaste, but have not successfully stopped a single plot. And TSA agents, who simply double their welfare salaries by becoming government employees, continue to fondle tiny children in a stupid theater play called security.
This stupid, fat black woman knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this tiny child was not a threat to air travel or to other passengers. Yet she insisted on molesting her anyways.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
Finally! Now that Star Trek Boy Wonder Wil Wheaton Has Felt Violated, Maybe Something Will be Done About the TSA
Apr 7th
Or maybe not. Wil Wheaton, the boy actor of such movies and TV shows as Stand By Me and Star Trek: The Next Generation, has had his small wiener touched during a screening. Now all nerds are crying out in anger against the TSA.
From Wil’s blog here:
Yesterday, I was touched — in my opinion, inappropriately — by a TSA agent at LAX.
I’m not going to talk about it in detail until I can speak with an attorney, but I’ve spent much of the last 24 hours replaying it over and over in my mind, and though some of the initial outrage has faded, I still feel sick and angry when I think about it.
What I want to say today is this: I believe that the choice we are currently given by the American government when we need to fly is morally wrong, unconstitutional, and does nothing to enhance passenger safety.
I further believe that when I choose to fly, I should not be forced to choose between submitting myself to a virtually-nude scan (and exposing myself to uncertain health risks due to radiation exposure)1, or enduring an aggressive, invasive patdown where a stranger puts his hands in my pants, and makes any contact at all with my genitals.
When I left the security screening yesterday, I didn’t feel safe. I felt violated, humiliated, assaulted, and angry. I felt like I never wanted to fly again. I was so furious and upset, my hands shook for quite some time after the ordeal was over. I felt sick to my stomach for hours.
Wil, as a reminder, you pined away for a Democratic controlled government run by Barack Obama. You called Hillary Clinton a sad pathetic girlfriend who wouldn’t take no for an answer. This wasn’t just some fat TSA agent enjoying the feel of your tiny manmeat in his mits, this was Obama, by proxy, tugging your boyish nuts.
Keep shaking. Keep that feeling of violation. This is the government you voted for.
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