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September 2, 2010

Search Results Category: Pirates

July 8, 2010

Pirate Bay Userbase Plundered!!

by Pat — Categories: Crime, Cyber, Humor, Pirates — Tags: , — No Comments

Every user of the Pirate Bay Torrent Search site had their user credentials exposed in a vulnerability that existed on the website. User credentials such as usernames, hosted torrents, IP address information and search terms were available to be siphoned off as demonstrated to Brian Krebs in his great story here.

Brian writes:

Security weaknesses in the hugely popular file-sharing Web site thepiratebay.org have exposed the user names, e-mail and Internet addresses of more than 4 million Pirate Bay users, according to information obtained by KrebsOnSecurity.com.

An Argentinian hacker named Ch Russo said he and two of his associates discovered multiple SQL injection vulnerabilities that let them into the user database for the site. Armed with this access, the hackers had the ability to create, delete, modify or view all user information, including the number and name of file trackers or torrents uploaded by users.

Russo maintains that at no time did he or his associates alter or delete information in The Pirate Bay database. But he acknowledges that they did briefly consider how much this access and information would be worth to anti-piracy companies employed by entertainment industry lobbying groups like the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), each of which has assiduously sought to sink The Pirate Bay on grounds that the network facilitates copyright infringement.

Actually, if the information was obtained illegally, it would be worthless to the MPAA and RIAA since that information would not be allowed to be used in court. But that would be absolutely hilarious to turn the tables on the data thieves. He should have uploaded the entire database to Wikileaks, but wait, you can’t do that since that site’s submission process is still broken.

Of course, all of the users of PirateBay download and upload only legitimate files, and never pirated material, right? The Pirates have been scuppered.

May 26, 2010

This is Why You Just Kill Pirates

by Pat — Categories: Crime, Pirates, fail — Tags: , , — 2 Comments

Stupid Dutch. Instead of sending the Pirates to Davy Jones’ Locker where they mythically and literally belong, they brought them to trial. Now 16 months after capture they go before a judge and say, “We weren’t pirates. We use those rocket launchers to go fishing for sharks! Arrr Matey!”

From the Telegraph here:

Five Somali men have protested that they were shark fisherman not pirates despite being intercepted off Somalia’s coast after attacking a Dutch vessel with rocket launchers and assault rifles.

Europe’s first modern trial for the 17th century crime of “sea robbery” has opened in Rotterdam amid protestations of innocence from the accused.

The men, facing jail terms of nine to 12 years, are accused of attacking and attempting to hijack the Samanyolu, a Dutch Antilles-flagged ship, while it was sailing in the Gulf of Aden in January 2009.

Farah Ahmed Yusuf, 25, accused the cargo ship of attacking the Somalis after engine failure had forced them to abandon their shark fishing expedition and seek help.

“The intention was to fish,” he said.

“As we came closer, we put our hands in the air. While we had our hands in the air, they shot at us. They attacked us.”

Seems like a pretty light sentence for something like this too. European justice is way too nice.

May 12, 2010

Somali Pirates Caught a Case of the “Died”

by Pat — Categories: Humor, Pirates, Politics, You're Fired! — Tags: , , — 2 Comments

This is how you deal with Prates. You don’t negotiate with them. You don’t give them ransom. You certainly don’t read them their miranda rights. You do what the Russians did when they caught them- you kill them.

From the AP here:

Following high level complaints about “imperfections” in international law, Russia announced Tuesday that captured Somali pirates “have all died.” A Russian official claimed that 10 pirates seized by Russian special forces aboard an oil tanker last week were quickly freed but then died on their way back to the Somali coast.

They did not elaborate on how the pirates died, deepening a mystery that has prompted speculation the pirates were executed by commandos who had freed a Russian oil tanker seized in waters 500 miles (800 kilometers) east of Somalia’s coast.

“They could not reach the coast and, apparently, have all died,” the official said.

Russian officials have said one of the 11 pirates was killed during a gunbattle when the Russian special forces stormed the tanker on Thursday. The others, some said to have been wounded, were brought aboard a Russian destroyer.

Officials initially said they would be taken to Russia for trial, but the Defense Ministry said Friday they’d been released because of “imperfections” in international law. The statement was met with skepticism, especially in light of a comment made by the Russian president.

“We’ll have to do what our forefathers did when they met the pirates” until the international community comes up with a legal way of prosecuting them, Dmitry Medvedev said on the day the ship was stormed.

I’m pretty sure that International law dictates that you can kill pirates if they attack you. Nice to see that Russia aren’t pussies who worry about what the International community thinks of them. And I’m pretty sure they don’t take kindly to illegal immigrants either, but you don’t hear about folks protesting them do you?

August 6, 2009

UPS Maps Out the Pirates

by Pat — Categories: Humor, Pirates, RoP — Tags: , — No Comments

You thought UPS only shipped packages and drove those big brown trucks and wore those brown shorts? Well they also sell Pirate Insurance. Just in case your shipments are lost to Corsairs along the Barbary Coast, or your packages end up in Davy Jones’ locker when a military vessel blasts a pirate scow out of the water, you need coverage, and they offer it for less. The original image from below is here, embedded in a letter posted by, of all people, ArchieMcPhee, who makes whoopie cusion gag gifts and has an interest in making sure that their shipments from Taiwan arrive on time.

But what I want you to notice is where all of the pirates are: Along the coasts of Islamic countries- Along Thailand, the Indian coast, the Arabian Peninsula, and of course along the Ivory Coast and Ethiopian waters. There are pirate problems in Morocco too.

Leftist Indians along Peru and Ecuador’s coasts are clearly marked along with one outpost in the Caribbean, which must be Jack Sparrow or Venezuelans.

July 29, 2009

Buyer Might Not Pay for Pirate Bay Site

by Pat — Categories: Cyber, Humor, Pirates, fail — Tags: , — No Comments

This is hilarious. Pirate Bay, the Torrent Search engine that enables millions of downloads of pirated and copyrighted software and music and videos was up for sale because the owners are going to jail for breaking copyright laws. But the buyer might not pay for the site after all. Ironic, don’t you think? Getting something for nothing? Surely there is a word for that?

From PCWorld here:

The Pirate Bay’s shot at legitimacy may be over before it even began, as Swedish firm Global Gaming Factory hasn’t produced enough money to buy the legendary torrent tracking site.

GGF has a week to come up with $7.8 million but that seems unlikely as the company’s key business relationship is crumbling. Wayne Rosso, the former Grokster CEO who joined the new Pirate Bay to broker deals with the music industry, has already jumped ship. He said that GGF wasn’t coming through on several promises, and has yet to pay him or his partners.

GGF was hoping that The Pirate Bay’s user base could be tapped for extra bandwidth, which would be sold to Internet service providers. This would generate revenue for the site, but it would also subsidize users’ membership fees. Rosso was working on bringing the music industry on board, so users could download all they wanted.

The problem is that a bandwidth-sharing scheme assumes The Pirate Bay has a critical mass of users. But illicit-file-sharers are a fickle lot, more loyal to the idea downloading free music, movies, and software than to the site that had served them for so long. Pirate Bay has no certainty of heavy traffic — never mind the fact its new business plan is unique and untested.

It’s not clear what will happen to Pirate Bay if the sale indeed falls through. The Pirate Bay’s founders are fighting to keep the site running while its legal battle continues on appeal, but the damage to its reputation — as a place to get content illegally, mind you — won’t easily wash away.

So the Pirate Bay users won’t stick around to help share bandwidth and purchase music legally. Duh. Pirate Bay is being scuttled.

July 24, 2009

Blue Meanies Got Him

by Pat — Categories: Art, Music, Pirates — No Comments

Artist Heinz Edelmann, artist and director of The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine passed away this week.

rip-edelmann

The story is here from the Times.

The bulbous Blue Meanies, which personify an evil mood as actual villains, pursue the innocent, well-coifed cartoon Beatles across an ever-shifting milieu of mysterious seas and holes that can be magically picked up and moved. The yellow submarine itself stops in an ocean of pulsating watches, representing time, to light a cigar for a friendly sea monster.

The story goes on to mention that inspiration for the movie came after the Beatles’ manager, Brian Epstein went to the Tate gallery and were captivated by the painting “Peace — Burial at Sea” by JMW Turner. That piece is below, and yeah, its pretty awesome. How they got what looks like South-Park style psychodelic animation from this beautiful painting, however, seems like a big leap.

July 6, 2009

Ocraboom

by Pat — Categories: Pirates — Tags: — No Comments

Tragic July 4th deaths on Ocracoke Island. The truck that was used to transport the July 4th fireworks exploded in a parking lot near the launch site. According to Robb’s Facebook Post, 40 minutes worth of fireworks went up in 4 seconds. Four workers died in the blast or shortly afterwards at the hospital from their wounds.


Smoke is seen across Ocracoke Island, N.C. Saturday, July 4, 2009, after a truckload of fireworks exploded on a remote island dock, killing one worker and injuring others preparing for an Independence Day celebration, authorities said. The explosion shook homes and businesses and was heard across a village on the southern end of Ocracoke Island, which is the only inhabited part of the 15-mile spit of land.

From the NewsObserver here:

A fourth victim has died from injuries suffered in Saturday’s fireworks explosion on Ocracoke Island.

Three of the victims were members of The Lord’s Table church in Goldsboro, and another had visited there a few times, said Mitch Ham, the worship pastor and music director there.

Ham identified the four as Terry Holland, Lisa Simmons, Charles Kirkland Jr. and Mark Hill, who was not a regular church member. Holland was a building and maintenance worker at The Lord’s Table, Ham said.

The explosion Saturday morning killed one employee of Melrose South Pyrotechnics, a South Carolina fireworks display company instantly while three others died after the blast. A fifth employee is in fair condition with minor burns.

As someone pointed out in the comments on the story, this truck reached the island via a ferry.  Thankfully this tragedy wasn’t compounded by having the accident during transport and contributing to more deaths.  The islanders had a memorial parade for those workers killed.

You know who else went out in a blaze of glory on Ocracoke?  Blackbeard.

July 1, 2009

McKinney Failboat Tries to Run the Israeli Blockade Again

by Pat — Categories: Humor, Pirates, Politics, Stupid People, fail — Tags: , , , — No Comments

Wild-haired moonbat Cynthia McKinney, who was once a loud-mouthed congresswoman from Georgia had previously tried to enter a warzone in Gaza to deliver humanitarian supplies to terrorists there. The Israeli Navy turned her away after ramming her stupid boat several times. McKinney came back for more, with similar results.


OMG!! The Israeli Navy is after us again! This is an outrage!

From YidwithaLid here:

This past December McKinney, who was once arrested for slapping a US Capitol Policeman who asked her for ID, decided to get on a boat in an attempt to get around Israel’s blockade and dock the vessel in a war zone so she could help and resupply the terrorist group Hamas. McKinney was on the boat as it was damaged by an Israeli navy vessel which rammed it three times before it was sent on its merry moonbat way home.

The brain cell deprived McKinney decided that once was not enough, as she left Cyprus on a  boat toward terrorist controlled Gaza and expected a different result.

And from HotAir here:

Former U.S. lawmaker and Green Party presidential candidate Cynthia McKinney, whose relief boat was seized by an Israeli naval ship Tuesday for the second time in a year, is demanding the immediate release of her and 20 other activists.

McKinney, a longtime supporter of Palestinians, said her Greek-flagged boat, the Spirit of Humanity, was carrying medical supplies, cement, olive trees and children’s toys to Gaza when it was boarded by the Israeli navy.

“This is an outrageous violation of international law against us,” said McKinney. “Our boat was not in Israeli waters and we were on a human rights mission to the Gaza Strip. President Obama just told Israel to let in humanitarian and reconstruction supplies, and that’s exactly what we tried to do. We’re asking the international community to demand our release so we can resume our journey.”

Next time the Navy should shoot them on sight.  Please?

June 8, 2009

Pirate Party Wins European Parliament Seat

by Pat — Categories: Movies, Music, Pirates, Politics, fail — Tags: , — Comments Off

How much can one seat out of 785 do when it comes to creating policy? I’m guessing not much. But for the cretins who don’t want to pay for content like movies, music and software, this is a huge victory.

From Reuters here:

Sweden’s Pirate Party, striking a chord with voters who want more free content on the Internet, don’t want to pay for music and movies on the internet, won a seat in the European Parliament.

The Pirate Party captured 7.1 percent of votes in Sweden in the Europe-wide ballot, enough to give it a single seat. The party wants to deregulate copyright, abolish the patent system and reduce surveillance on the Internet.

“This is fantastic!” Christian Engstrom, the party’s top candidate, told Reuters. “This shows that there are a lot of people who think that personal integrity is important and that it matters that we deal with the Internet and the new information society in the right way.”

Previously an obscure group of single-issue activists, the party enjoyed a jump in popularity after the conviction in April of four men behind The Pirate Bay, one of the world’s biggest free file-sharing website. The Pirate Party will take up one of Sweden’s 18 seats in the 785-seat parliament.

Abolish patents, intellectual and real property rights?  These folk are all morons.  They simply want to legitimize their criminal activity.  Of course this movement will fail.

April 23, 2009

Fatbeard the Pirate Goes to Somalia

by Pat — Categories: Humor, Pirates, Travel — Tags: , — No Comments

But not with any soulless Gingers aboard, Yaarrr!

April 17, 2009

New [GAS] Post: Pirate Bay Sent to Davy Jones’ Locker

by Pat — Categories: Cyber, Pirates, Stupid People, You're Fired! — Tags: — Comments Off

The owners of the Pirate Bay torrent site were stunned when they were sent to jail for violating copyright laws. Everyone else saw it coming, why couldn’t they? Is it because they are obsessed with their own awesomeness? Probably, judging by the asshats who were running the site who defiantly claim that there is no reason to send them to jail-

Peter Sunde, an operator of the site said in a press conference in response to his conviction:

“It’s serious to actually be found guilty and get jail time. It’s really serious. And that’s a bit weird,” Sunde said.   “It’s so bizarre that we were convicted at all and it’s even more bizarre that we were [convicted] as a team. The court said we were organised. I can’t get Gottfrid out of bed in the morning. If you’re going to convict us, convict us of disorganised crime.

“We can’t pay and we wouldn’t pay. Even if I had the money I would rather burn everything I owned, and I wouldn’t even give them the ashes.”

Read the rest of this post over at [GAS]. Previous post on Pirate Bay and their lack of security is here.

April 16, 2009

Somali Pirates Have a Blog

by Pat — Categories: Humor, Pirates, fail — Tags: — No Comments

Everybody is getting a blog nowadays.  Even the Somali Pirates.  Check out their latest entry here:

we have recruited some of your own countrymen to our cause.

Our newest recruit, we call him “G”. he was a First Mate in your country, but he’s been promoted to Captain in ours. He knows your secrets and will undermine your defenses. Last night he made a radio out of a coconut. Look below into the face of your worst nightmare.

Thanks to the Jawas for the link!

April 13, 2009

Go Navy! Kill Pirates!

by Pat — Categories: Pirates, RoP — Tags: , — No Comments

The Navy did just what they should have done by killing the filthy Muslim pirates. Thanks to them at least one sea captain has been rescued. However, many more people remain captive to the scum along Somalia.


This 19th-century engraving depicts an Arab slave-trading caravan transporting black African slaves across the Sahara. The trans-Saharan slave trade developed in the 7th and 8th centuries as Muslim Arabs conquered most of North Africa. The trade grew significantly from the 10th to the 15th century and peaked in the mid-19th century.

Don’t forget, the nickname for our Marines, “leathernecks” was earned because they wore leather neck guards when fighting this scum along the barbary coast in the early days of our nation’s history. I think its about time we finished the job.  Check out this previous post about how our forefathers handled pirate scum.

December 2, 2008

Moonbat Actress Daryl Hannah Turns to Piracy on High Seas

by Pat — Categories: Crime, Eco-Religion, Pirates, Stupid People — Tags: , , , — 5 Comments

Last I blogged about Daryl Hannah, she was up a tree in Los Angeles intefering with the property rights of private citizens, to prevent a landowner from using his land to build a warehouse.  Not happy with the amount of laws she broke to pursue her moonbat eco-religionist agenda, she has now joined the ship’s crew of Animal Planet’s Whale Wars so she can commit acts of piracy against Japan.

I have seen a few of these episodes, and the crew of the Steve Irwin, which sails from Australia, engage in illegal acts of war against peaceful Japanese crews.  Such piratical acts include attempts to disable the ships, throw acid at the Japanese crews and even illegal boardings.  From the AFP here:

Actress Daryl Hannah will sail for the inhospitable South Ocean on Wednesday as part of a campaign to stop Japanese whalers from slaughtering the giant animals.

Hannah, best known for her role as a mermaid in the 1984 hit “Splash”, will be part of the militant Sea Shepherd Conservation Society’s annual campaign to find, track and impede the whaling ships.

The film star on Wednesday will join the “Steve Irwin”, which departs from the eastern Australian city of Brisbane, for the first week of the voyage.

Japan aims to kill 1,000 whales a year using a loophole in a 1986 global moratorium that allows “lethal research” on the ocean giants.

Why is it that leftists are always claiming that the United Nations can solve all their problems, and when it doesn’t, as in this case of failing to ban all whaling, they take matters into their own hands?  Why don’t they work out their differences peacefully, “make love, not war,” and get the laws changed at the United Nations?  Is it because the world thinks it is fair that this many animals are culled yearly? In 22 years, this topic hasn’t come up for discussion at the UN?

I hope she suffers from sea sickness.  One thing’s for sure.  Joining a pirate crew in 2008/2009 at the height of public outrage over piracy sure is a dumb thing to do.

The Japanese are sure to return to their whaling this year armed with defensive mechanisms to stop the pirates of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.  I hope they bring an armed escort.  It will make for a hilarious episode of Whale Wars.

November 19, 2008

Piracy Along African Coast is Nothing New

by Pat — Categories: Pirates, RoP — Tags: , — 6 Comments

Its actually the oldest trick in the book. Piracy originated from Muslim nations along the northern Mediterranean coast and along the Persian gulf. In fact, Americans were captured and enslaved by Muslim pirates in 1785. In response, the United States, rather than fighting the pirates, paid ransom and tribute to the pirates, and in 1800, the amount was 20% of the entire US budget!


This 19th-century engraving depicts an Arab slave-trading caravan transporting black African slaves across the Sahara. The trans-Saharan slave trade developed in the 7th and 8th centuries as Muslim Arabs conquered most of North Africa. The trade grew significantly from the 10th to the 15th century and peaked in the mid-19th century.

When the North African states were asked by the United States Congressional Congress why they were treating American merchant ships with such hostility, they responded,

It was written in their Koran, that all nations which had not acknowledged the Prophet were sinners, whom it was the right and duty of the faithful to plunder and enslave; and that every mussulman who was slain in this warfare was sure to go to paradise. He said, also, that the man who was the first to board a vessel had one slave over and above his share, and that when they sprang to the deck of an enemy’s ship, every sailor held a dagger in each hand and a third in his mouth; which usually struck such terror into the foe that they cried out for quarter at once.

Once the United States built their own Navy, they took matters into their own hands to end the tribute paid to Muslim pirates and slave traders.  The United States, the Constellation and the Constitution were some of the ships that killed pirates by the hundreds. And United States Marines, called leathernecks because they had high collars made of leather to ward off cutlass attacks by Babary Pirates, invaded Tripoli to kill the pirates.  A great history of the early days of Islamic terrorism on the seas is here.

Now that we are in this war on terror, we should once again face down and end piracy along the African coast.

November 3, 2008

Pyrates Royale at the White Hart

by Pat — Categories: Humor, Music, Pirates — Tags: , — No Comments

One of the biggest reasons that I go to the Maryland RenFair is to see the Pyrates Royale sing their pub songs. The other reasons are beer, boobs, and various meats on a stick. In this song, they share about all of the places they are not allowed to sail to anymore.

October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween! Our Pumpkins

by Pat — Categories: Belch.Com, Pirates — Tags: , — 1 Comment

My wife and her friend Susan spooned out the goo inside these pumpkins and carved this great Halloween message. We are looking forward to dressing the toddler up tonight for his first try at Trick-or-treating. This will either go very well or very poorly. I’ll update later.

October 16, 2008

Very Cool Pirate Posters

by Pat — Categories: Art, Pirates — Tags: — No Comments

Everyone’s life insurance policy comes with a rider for accidental dismemberment which stipulates how much money you get when your arm gets gnawed off by a bizarre document faxing accident, and even specifies how much your fingers and thumbs are worth. Thanks to 826 Valencia, by way of Neatorama, we now have the policy poster for pirates.

From the shop’s poster description:

This poster sets the standard for compensation for limbs lost via treacherous sailing incidents and other mishaps. Additionally, if you’re running short of funds, now you know which appendage will garner you the most doubloons.

September 15, 2008

Avast, Scurvy Google! We’ll Be Plunderin’ Yer Datacenter!

by Pat — Categories: Cyber, Eco-Religion, Google, Pirates — Tags: , — 2 Comments

Imagine if Google had a fleet of ships.  Now imagine that Google put all of their servers on those ships and shoved off to international waters.  Once there, Google would somehow harness the green power of ocean waves to power all of their servers and cool their datacenter core.  Google imagines it will get free power and become untaxable.

I imagine pirates boarding these floating datacenters and holding geeky technicians hostage.  I imagine Gmail sinking to the ocean floor during a hurricane.

But this is what Google is proposing to do in a recent patent filing.  I have the rest of the details written up over at GeeksAreSexy here.

August 22, 2008

New Jersey Nerds Dressup as Ninjas; Deliver Ultimatums to Drug Dealers

by Pat — Categories: Bizarre, Comics, Pirates, Stupid People — Tags: , — 1 Comment

Two New Jersey kids wore Ninja outfits and loaded up with throwing stars and nunchuks and ventured into the night to act as vigilantes against drug dealers in Clifton, NJ. I don’t know whether this is awesome or hilariously stupid. But since these nitwits got busted without throwing a single smoke bomb, I’m going with the stupid.

Here is the story from Fox News. A hilarious video of the two dopes is here.

Clifton police arrested two men dressed liked ninjas and armed with Asian martial arts weapons who said they were sending a warning to drug users.

Calling themselves “Shinobi warriors,” the men wore black SWAT-type vests and carried knives, throwing stars, swords, nunchucks and a bow and arrows.

After being arrested early Wednesday in a car on Route 46, the men said they were delivering warning letters to drug dealers and drug users urging them to stop their “impure” activities.

The letters said those who persisted would be stopped with “justified yet, merciful force.”

Tadeusz Tertkiewicz, 20, and 19-year-old Jesse Trojaniak are charged with weapons possession. Tertkiewicz is also charged with harassment for a letter left for an ex-girlfriend.

Ninjas, you fail. You should have dressed like pirates.

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