I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Pirates
Darrel Issa is a Congressional Cyber Champion
Nov 28th
If you are not following Congressman Darrel Issa on Twitter, you should. He is the undisputed cyber thought leader in the House, and he objects to the Stop Online Piracy Act and how the Movie Industry is flooding Washington with lobbyists that, if they had their way, YouTube, Facebook and Twitter would be sued out of existence.
And those domains that were shut down without having SOPA already written into law? The huge bulk of them related to non-official NFL Jerseys.
The story about the Jersey takedown operation is here at Torrentfreak.
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Yet Another Threatening Legal Email!
Oct 1st
Once again my website is being accused of all manners of legal evil-doing. This time, a band of Indians (dot not feathers) are threatening to launch DDOS attacks against my website because I once linked to a story over a year ago that details how Aiplex Software was launching distributed denial of service attacks against websites that were illegally hosting their software.

Now Jagadish of Aiplex sends me this threatening letter, accusing me of causing defamation to his company and causing his company to suffer losses due to damages and threats from hackers. Honestly, I never knew I had such awesome power by using hyperlinks to stories others have written!
From: Aiplex AntiPiracy [mailto:antipiracy@aiplex.com]
Sent: Friday, September 30, 2011 4:53 AM
To: dr.jones@belch.com
Cc: Girish; Mahesh R
Subject: RequestThis has reference to the below article on your webpage, we kindly request you to deactivate the link as the article is defaming the company’s image & its prospects. It was mis-interpreted by the news agency which was blown out of proportion by some of the pirates across the globe. And subsequently we have to face damages/threats from the pirates & undergo immense losses due to their attack on our servers/websites etc.
Although, we did declare that we are not involved in any of those activities as published in the article, we still have to face the consequences for reasons unknown.
Below is the link for your reference:
http://www.belch.com/blog/category/movies/page/3/
We kindly request you to deactivate at the earliest possible please.
Appreciate your help on this matter.
Jagadish
Support Operations
Aiplex Software Pvt. Ltd.
No. 2943/E, 1st floor, Opp Maruthi Mandir,
Service Road, Vijayanagar,
Bangalore – 560 040
Ph : +91 80 23305411 / 12 / 13
Email : antipiracy@aiplex.com
Website : www.aiplex.com
To which I responded:
Please stop DDoSing me you evil bastards!
Now I get the following response from a lawyer for aiplex, who I’m sure has belch.com in the sites of his nefarious DDoS botnet:
I did clarify that we are not into such unscrupulous activity pls understand that it was a mis-interpretation by a news agency.
Anyways, it is your prerogative to keep it active or disable the link.
U have a nice weekend Patrick.
Best,
Girish Kumar N
Managing Director
Aiplex Software Pvt. Ltd.
Bangalore
Ph : +91 80 23305411 / 12 / 13
Mb : +91 98451 28280
Email : girish@aiplex.com
Website : www.aiplex.comConfidentiality & Non-Disclosure Warning: This message is intended for the exclusive use of the person or entity to which it is addressed. It may contain information that is confidential/privileged, and must be treated as such. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, copying or making a decision in reliance of its content is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message by error, please, destroy the message and kindly notify us immediately. Inappropriate/unauthorized use of the information shall be dealt with the applicable confidentiality and non-disclosure laws. Please note that while we scan all e-mails for viruses we cannot guarantee that any e-mail is virus-free and accept no liability for any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email.
I snort loudly, by the way, for every lawyer who sends out a clear text email with a retarded non disclosure warning appended to it. I can disclose anything I want, and I dare anyone to find a law that says posting something like this is a breach of any confidentiality laws.
Who is the Girish Kumar who is spending so much time emailing me? This guy pictured here. The story from theAge in Australia describes further how Girish Kumar was bragging about launching DoS attacks against websites that link to movie downloads.
Anyways, I finally responded:
Wait a minute. Are you accusing me of defamation or not? Am I causing you to suffer damages and threats because of hackers or not? Your email seemed to imply this, and my own legal team will need clarification. And of course, I expect if I don’t comply you will immediately DDOS me, right? That’s what you guys do, right? Send threats and then strong arm/abuse people to bow to your every demand to remove links? So even if you talk about piracy its as bad as committing piracy because now you are going to wreak havoc on my internets page because I linked to a story about you guys running huge DDOS operations against pirates?
Lets see what they say next! In the mean time, Girish has joined other legal scholars who have decided to send me threatening emails. At least this one’s not a clown.
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President Bush’s Killer Hurricane Ray Gun
Aug 25th
Guess who has reloaded his hurricane gun and is pointing it at black folk again? Bush, according to Kanye West. President Bush is at it again, damn his scurvy heart, Yaaaarrrr! Don’t know why I just went pirate there, but I’m better now. But there is a hurricane a’comin’ and it has its angry, vacant, gaping, seepy eye aimed toward Baltimore and Harlem. Gosh, I hope Ray Nagin can save everyone this time around!
So far they have evacuated the Outer Banks, Virginia Beach and other areas. I know three days isn’t much time for a warning, but I really hope we don’t have to see anyone pushing anyone through flooded streets on the news again. So Baltimore, Newport News and Harlem, please head toward the mountains, okay?
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London Bridge Sunset
Aug 1st
That’s London Bridge, looking at the north bank of the Thames. This shot was taken right next to the replica of Francis Drake’s ship, the Golden Hind, that circumvented the globe, pictured below.
And, here is a panorama of the site. And yes, I was certainly drinking a few delicious English ales at the time.
This post gets the pirate tag because Drake died after attempting to take San Juan, Puerto Rico from the Spanish.
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Sword from the Queen Anne’s Revenge
Jan 13th
Archaeological work continues on the remains of the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the pirate ship of the infamous Blackbeard. A sword has been pieced back together from remnants left behind after the pirates abandoned the ship. I seriously doubt this piece would have belonged to Blackbeard, who was killed prior to the ship running aground in 1718.
From NatGeo here:
(the sword) was found amid the North Carolina wreck of the Queen Anne’s Revenge, the flagship of the infamous 18th-century pirate.
Since 1997, archaeologists have been excavating the Queen Anne’s Revenge. The sword hilt—found in pieces but reassembled for this picture—is among their latest finds and was revealed to the public this month.
After running aground on a sandbar in 1718 near the town of Beaufort, the ship was abandoned but likely remained intact and partly above water for as long as a year before collapsing and disintegrating.
“In any event,” he said, “the pirates would have had ample opportunity to take anything that they thought valuable.” The newfound hilt may have been left behind because it was unwanted, or it may have been inaccessible.
Blackbeard’s brief career as a pirate lasted only about two years, but during that time he became one of history’s most feared outlaws. Operating in the West Indies and off the coast of colonial America, he struck terror into the hearts of commercial ships’ captains and once held the entire city of Charleston, South Carolina, hostage.
This one man, Ed Teach, aka Blackbeard, once blockaded an entire port city with just the help of his merry band of cutthroats.
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Pirate Bay Admins Lose Appeal, Now to Owe Higher Fines
Nov 27th
Fredrik Neij, Peter Sunde, and Carl Lundstrom of the Pirate Bay Torrent Tracker site will now have to each pay the RIAA and MPAA about 6.5 million dollars. They lost their appeal in Swedish court and the judge stuck them with a higher fine in exchange for less jail time. They will still face about four to ten months in prison. They should be thankful they don’t still hang pirates.

From Wired here:
Three of the admins behind The Pirate Bay are all still guilty, a Swedish appeals court decided on Friday, but their jail time has been reduced. Fredrik Neij, Peter Sunde, and Carl Lundstrom’s prison sentences have all been reduced from the original one year to between 4 and 10 months each, though the trade-off is an increase in damages that they must pay to the music and movie industries.
The Swedish district court found four of the Pirate Bay members guilty of assisting copyright infringement in April of 2009, despite the fact that the site never hosted any of the files being shared. The four were sentenced to a year in prison each plus a shared 30 million kronor fine ($4.26 million at today’s conversion rates).
Now, three of the four will be able to get out of jail early—but their shared fine has been bumped up to 46 million kroner (just over $6.5 million). That’s still lower than the 117 million kronor fine initially sought by content owners, but definitely nothing to sneeze at.
And Sunde is still being defiant, planning to appeal to the Supreme court. Do you think they will be able to ask torrent users to help them pay their fine? That would be like they had bought the music after all, but I somehow don’t think anyone will donate money to help them out.
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Pirate Bay Userbase Plundered!!
Jul 8th
Every user of the Pirate Bay Torrent Search site had their user credentials exposed in a vulnerability that existed on the website. User credentials such as usernames, hosted torrents, IP address information and search terms were available to be siphoned off as demonstrated to Brian Krebs in his great story here.

Security weaknesses in the hugely popular file-sharing Web site thepiratebay.org have exposed the user names, e-mail and Internet addresses of more than 4 million Pirate Bay users, according to information obtained by KrebsOnSecurity.com.
An Argentinian hacker named Ch Russo said he and two of his associates discovered multiple SQL injection vulnerabilities that let them into the user database for the site. Armed with this access, the hackers had the ability to create, delete, modify or view all user information, including the number and name of file trackers or torrents uploaded by users.
Russo maintains that at no time did he or his associates alter or delete information in The Pirate Bay database. But he acknowledges that they did briefly consider how much this access and information would be worth to anti-piracy companies employed by entertainment industry lobbying groups like the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), each of which has assiduously sought to sink The Pirate Bay on grounds that the network facilitates copyright infringement.
Actually, if the information was obtained illegally, it would be worthless to the MPAA and RIAA since that information would not be allowed to be used in court. But that would be absolutely hilarious to turn the tables on the data thieves. He should have uploaded the entire database to Wikileaks, but wait, you can’t do that since that site’s submission process is still broken.

Of course, all of the users of PirateBay download and upload only legitimate files, and never pirated material, right? The Pirates have been scuppered.
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This is Why You Just Kill Pirates
May 26th
Stupid Dutch. Instead of sending the Pirates to Davy Jones’ Locker where they mythically and literally belong, they brought them to trial. Now 16 months after capture they go before a judge and say, “We weren’t pirates. We use those rocket launchers to go fishing for sharks! Arrr Matey!”

From the Telegraph here:
Five Somali men have protested that they were shark fisherman not pirates despite being intercepted off Somalia’s coast after attacking a Dutch vessel with rocket launchers and assault rifles.
Europe’s first modern trial for the 17th century crime of “sea robbery” has opened in Rotterdam amid protestations of innocence from the accused.
The men, facing jail terms of nine to 12 years, are accused of attacking and attempting to hijack the Samanyolu, a Dutch Antilles-flagged ship, while it was sailing in the Gulf of Aden in January 2009.
Farah Ahmed Yusuf, 25, accused the cargo ship of attacking the Somalis after engine failure had forced them to abandon their shark fishing expedition and seek help.
“The intention was to fish,” he said.
“As we came closer, we put our hands in the air. While we had our hands in the air, they shot at us. They attacked us.”
Seems like a pretty light sentence for something like this too. European justice is way too nice.
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Somali Pirates Caught a Case of the “Died”
May 12th
This is how you deal with Prates. You don’t negotiate with them. You don’t give them ransom. You certainly don’t read them their miranda rights. You do what the Russians did when they caught them- you kill them.
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From the AP here:
Following high level complaints about “imperfections” in international law, Russia announced Tuesday that captured Somali pirates “have all died.” A Russian official claimed that 10 pirates seized by Russian special forces aboard an oil tanker last week were quickly freed but then died on their way back to the Somali coast.
They did not elaborate on how the pirates died, deepening a mystery that has prompted speculation the pirates were executed by commandos who had freed a Russian oil tanker seized in waters 500 miles (800 kilometers) east of Somalia’s coast.
“They could not reach the coast and, apparently, have all died,” the official said.
Russian officials have said one of the 11 pirates was killed during a gunbattle when the Russian special forces stormed the tanker on Thursday. The others, some said to have been wounded, were brought aboard a Russian destroyer.
Officials initially said they would be taken to Russia for trial, but the Defense Ministry said Friday they’d been released because of “imperfections” in international law. The statement was met with skepticism, especially in light of a comment made by the Russian president.
“We’ll have to do what our forefathers did when they met the pirates” until the international community comes up with a legal way of prosecuting them, Dmitry Medvedev said on the day the ship was stormed.
I’m pretty sure that International law dictates that you can kill pirates if they attack you. Nice to see that Russia aren’t pussies who worry about what the International community thinks of them. And I’m pretty sure they don’t take kindly to illegal immigrants either, but you don’t hear about folks protesting them do you?
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UPS Maps Out the Pirates
Aug 6th
You thought UPS only shipped packages and drove those big brown trucks and wore those brown shorts? Well they also sell Pirate Insurance. Just in case your shipments are lost to Corsairs along the Barbary Coast, or your packages end up in Davy Jones’ locker when a military vessel blasts a pirate scow out of the water, you need coverage, and they offer it for less. The original image from below is here, embedded in a letter posted by, of all people, ArchieMcPhee, who makes whoopie cusion gag gifts and has an interest in making sure that their shipments from Taiwan arrive on time.
But what I want you to notice is where all of the pirates are: Along the coasts of Islamic countries- Along Thailand, the Indian coast, the Arabian Peninsula, and of course along the Ivory Coast and Ethiopian waters. There are pirate problems in Morocco too.
Leftist Indians along Peru and Ecuador’s coasts are clearly marked along with one outpost in the Caribbean, which must be Jack Sparrow or Venezuelans.
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Buyer Might Not Pay for Pirate Bay Site
Jul 29th
This is hilarious. Pirate Bay, the Torrent Search engine that enables millions of downloads of pirated and copyrighted software and music and videos was up for sale because the owners are going to jail for breaking copyright laws. But the buyer might not pay for the site after all. Ironic, don’t you think? Getting something for nothing? Surely there is a word for that?

From PCWorld here:
The Pirate Bay’s shot at legitimacy may be over before it even began, as Swedish firm Global Gaming Factory hasn’t produced enough money to buy the legendary torrent tracking site.
GGF has a week to come up with $7.8 million but that seems unlikely as the company’s key business relationship is crumbling. Wayne Rosso, the former Grokster CEO who joined the new Pirate Bay to broker deals with the music industry, has already jumped ship. He said that GGF wasn’t coming through on several promises, and has yet to pay him or his partners.
GGF was hoping that The Pirate Bay’s user base could be tapped for extra bandwidth, which would be sold to Internet service providers. This would generate revenue for the site, but it would also subsidize users’ membership fees. Rosso was working on bringing the music industry on board, so users could download all they wanted.
The problem is that a bandwidth-sharing scheme assumes The Pirate Bay has a critical mass of users. But illicit-file-sharers are a fickle lot, more loyal to the idea downloading free music, movies, and software than to the site that had served them for so long. Pirate Bay has no certainty of heavy traffic — never mind the fact its new business plan is unique and untested.
It’s not clear what will happen to Pirate Bay if the sale indeed falls through. The Pirate Bay’s founders are fighting to keep the site running while its legal battle continues on appeal, but the damage to its reputation — as a place to get content illegally, mind you — won’t easily wash away.
So the Pirate Bay users won’t stick around to help share bandwidth and purchase music legally. Duh. Pirate Bay is being scuttled.
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Blue Meanies Got Him
Jul 24th
Artist Heinz Edelmann, artist and director of The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine passed away this week.
The story is here from the Times.
The bulbous Blue Meanies, which personify an evil mood as actual villains, pursue the innocent, well-coifed cartoon Beatles across an ever-shifting milieu of mysterious seas and holes that can be magically picked up and moved. The yellow submarine itself stops in an ocean of pulsating watches, representing time, to light a cigar for a friendly sea monster.
The story goes on to mention that inspiration for the movie came after the Beatles’ manager, Brian Epstein went to the Tate gallery and were captivated by the painting “Peace — Burial at Sea” by JMW Turner. That piece is below, and yeah, its pretty awesome. How they got what looks like South-Park style psychodelic animation from this beautiful painting, however, seems like a big leap.

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Ocraboom
Jul 6th
Tragic July 4th deaths on Ocracoke Island. The truck that was used to transport the July 4th fireworks exploded in a parking lot near the launch site. According to Robb’s Facebook Post, 40 minutes worth of fireworks went up in 4 seconds. Four workers died in the blast or shortly afterwards at the hospital from their wounds.

Smoke is seen across Ocracoke Island, N.C. Saturday, July 4, 2009, after a truckload of fireworks exploded on a remote island dock, killing one worker and injuring others preparing for an Independence Day celebration, authorities said. The explosion shook homes and businesses and was heard across a village on the southern end of Ocracoke Island, which is the only inhabited part of the 15-mile spit of land.

From the NewsObserver here:
A fourth victim has died from injuries suffered in Saturday’s fireworks explosion on Ocracoke Island.
Three of the victims were members of The Lord’s Table church in Goldsboro, and another had visited there a few times, said Mitch Ham, the worship pastor and music director there.
Ham identified the four as Terry Holland, Lisa Simmons, Charles Kirkland Jr. and Mark Hill, who was not a regular church member. Holland was a building and maintenance worker at The Lord’s Table, Ham said.
The explosion Saturday morning killed one employee of Melrose South Pyrotechnics, a South Carolina fireworks display company instantly while three others died after the blast. A fifth employee is in fair condition with minor burns.
As someone pointed out in the comments on the story, this truck reached the island via a ferry. Thankfully this tragedy wasn’t compounded by having the accident during transport and contributing to more deaths. The islanders had a memorial parade for those workers killed.
You know who else went out in a blaze of glory on Ocracoke? Blackbeard.
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McKinney Failboat Tries to Run the Israeli Blockade Again
Jul 1st
Wild-haired moonbat Cynthia McKinney, who was once a loud-mouthed congresswoman from Georgia had previously tried to enter a warzone in Gaza to deliver humanitarian supplies to terrorists there. The Israeli Navy turned her away after ramming her stupid boat several times. McKinney came back for more, with similar results.

OMG!! The Israeli Navy is after us again! This is an outrage!
From YidwithaLid here:
This past December McKinney, who was once arrested for slapping a US Capitol Policeman who asked her for ID, decided to get on a boat in an attempt to get around Israel’s blockade and dock the vessel in a war zone so she could help and resupply the terrorist group Hamas. McKinney was on the boat as it was damaged by an Israeli navy vessel which rammed it three times before it was sent on its merry moonbat way home.
The brain cell deprived McKinney decided that once was not enough, as she left Cyprus on a boat toward terrorist controlled Gaza and expected a different result.
And from HotAir here:
Former U.S. lawmaker and Green Party presidential candidate Cynthia McKinney, whose relief boat was seized by an Israeli naval ship Tuesday for the second time in a year, is demanding the immediate release of her and 20 other activists.
McKinney, a longtime supporter of Palestinians, said her Greek-flagged boat, the Spirit of Humanity, was carrying medical supplies, cement, olive trees and children’s toys to Gaza when it was boarded by the Israeli navy.
“This is an outrageous violation of international law against us,” said McKinney. “Our boat was not in Israeli waters and we were on a human rights mission to the Gaza Strip. President Obama just told Israel to let in humanitarian and reconstruction supplies, and that’s exactly what we tried to do. We’re asking the international community to demand our release so we can resume our journey.”
Next time the Navy should shoot them on sight. Please?
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Pirate Party Wins European Parliament Seat
Jun 8th
How much can one seat out of 785 do when it comes to creating policy? I’m guessing not much. But for the cretins who don’t want to pay for content like movies, music and software, this is a huge victory.

From Reuters here:
Sweden’s Pirate Party, striking a chord with voters who want more free content on the Internet, don’t want to pay for music and movies on the internet, won a seat in the European Parliament.
The Pirate Party captured 7.1 percent of votes in Sweden in the Europe-wide ballot, enough to give it a single seat. The party wants to deregulate copyright, abolish the patent system and reduce surveillance on the Internet.
“This is fantastic!” Christian Engstrom, the party’s top candidate, told Reuters. “This shows that there are a lot of people who think that personal integrity is important and that it matters that we deal with the Internet and the new information society in the right way.”
Previously an obscure group of single-issue activists, the party enjoyed a jump in popularity after the conviction in April of four men behind The Pirate Bay, one of the world’s biggest free file-sharing website. The Pirate Party will take up one of Sweden’s 18 seats in the 785-seat parliament.
Abolish patents, intellectual and real property rights? These folk are all morons. They simply want to legitimize their criminal activity. Of course this movement will fail.
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Fatbeard the Pirate Goes to Somalia
Apr 23rd
But not with any soulless Gingers aboard, Yaarrr!
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New [GAS] Post: Pirate Bay Sent to Davy Jones’ Locker
Apr 17th
The owners of the Pirate Bay torrent site were stunned when they were sent to jail for violating copyright laws. Everyone else saw it coming, why couldn’t they? Is it because they are obsessed with their own awesomeness? Probably, judging by the asshats who were running the site who defiantly claim that there is no reason to send them to jail-

Peter Sunde, an operator of the site said in a press conference in response to his conviction:
“It’s serious to actually be found guilty and get jail time. It’s really serious. And that’s a bit weird,” Sunde said. “It’s so bizarre that we were convicted at all and it’s even more bizarre that we were [convicted] as a team. The court said we were organised. I can’t get Gottfrid out of bed in the morning. If you’re going to convict us, convict us of disorganised crime.
“We can’t pay and we wouldn’t pay. Even if I had the money I would rather burn everything I owned, and I wouldn’t even give them the ashes.”
Read the rest of this post over at [GAS]. Previous post on Pirate Bay and their lack of security is here.
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Somali Pirates Have a Blog
Apr 16th
Everybody is getting a blog nowadays. Even the Somali Pirates. Check out their latest entry here:
we have recruited some of your own countrymen to our cause.
Our newest recruit, we call him “G”. he was a First Mate in your country, but he’s been promoted to Captain in ours. He knows your secrets and will undermine your defenses. Last night he made a radio out of a coconut. Look below into the face of your worst nightmare.
Thanks to the Jawas for the link!
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Go Navy! Kill Pirates!
Apr 13th
The Navy did just what they should have done by killing the filthy Muslim pirates. Thanks to them at least one sea captain has been rescued. However, many more people remain captive to the scum along Somalia.

This 19th-century engraving depicts an Arab slave-trading caravan transporting black African slaves across the Sahara. The trans-Saharan slave trade developed in the 7th and 8th centuries as Muslim Arabs conquered most of North Africa. The trade grew significantly from the 10th to the 15th century and peaked in the mid-19th century.
Don’t forget, the nickname for our Marines, “leathernecks” was earned because they wore leather neck guards when fighting this scum along the barbary coast in the early days of our nation’s history. I think its about time we finished the job. Check out this previous post about how our forefathers handled pirate scum.
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Moonbat Actress Daryl Hannah Turns to Piracy on High Seas
Dec 2nd
Last I blogged about Daryl Hannah, she was up a tree in Los Angeles intefering with the property rights of private citizens, to prevent a landowner from using his land to build a warehouse. Not happy with the amount of laws she broke to pursue her moonbat eco-religionist agenda, she has now joined the ship’s crew of Animal Planet’s Whale Wars so she can commit acts of piracy against Japan.

I have seen a few of these episodes, and the crew of the Steve Irwin, which sails from Australia, engage in illegal acts of war against peaceful Japanese crews. Such piratical acts include attempts to disable the ships, throw acid at the Japanese crews and even illegal boardings. From the AFP here:
Actress Daryl Hannah will sail for the inhospitable South Ocean on Wednesday as part of a campaign to stop Japanese whalers from slaughtering the giant animals.
Hannah, best known for her role as a mermaid in the 1984 hit “Splash”, will be part of the militant Sea Shepherd Conservation Society’s annual campaign to find, track and impede the whaling ships.
The film star on Wednesday will join the “Steve Irwin”, which departs from the eastern Australian city of Brisbane, for the first week of the voyage.
Japan aims to kill 1,000 whales a year using a loophole in a 1986 global moratorium that allows “lethal research” on the ocean giants.
Why is it that leftists are always claiming that the United Nations can solve all their problems, and when it doesn’t, as in this case of failing to ban all whaling, they take matters into their own hands? Why don’t they work out their differences peacefully, “make love, not war,” and get the laws changed at the United Nations? Is it because the world thinks it is fair that this many animals are culled yearly? In 22 years, this topic hasn’t come up for discussion at the UN?
I hope she suffers from sea sickness. One thing’s for sure. Joining a pirate crew in 2008/2009 at the height of public outrage over piracy sure is a dumb thing to do.
The Japanese are sure to return to their whaling this year armed with defensive mechanisms to stop the pirates of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society. I hope they bring an armed escort. It will make for a hilarious episode of Whale Wars.
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