I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for April, 2009
The Cold Fist of Superhero Justice
Apr 30th
Meet the ShadowHare. Its a scrawny guy in a tight suit that is bringing vigilante justice to the streets of Cincinnati, Ohio. Where was ShadowHare when Bernie Madoff was busy ripping off people?
Everyone has roles to play. Rest assured, once there are heroes, there will be villains who will show up to foil the hero’s crusading capers. The only thing missing is a crackpot cranky journalist who will offer a reward for the ShadowHare’s mask. What the hell, I’ll take that job. 50 bucks as a bounty to the man that unmasks ShadowHare!
Thanks to HotAir for the story!
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Loading ...10 PM Music: Zee Avi- “Bitter Heart”
Apr 30th
This Malaysian girl, Zee Avi, has an angelic voice, and coupled with the soft old radio sound, this song is catchy and what is sure to be a hit when her self-titled record is released on May 19th. She was discovered by the White Stripes’ manager Ian Malone and was signed to Brushfire records which is owned by Jack Johnson. Her star is rising pretty quickly- she will be at Bonnaroo this year. Enjoy this video.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Awesome Spur-of-the-Moment Gift
Apr 30th
My wife got me the Complete Season 1 of Big Bang Theory on DVD. Yay!
I love the show and watch it religiously, but am really enjoying the DVD’s because they are in a higher definition and wider screen than my standard definition TV. I didn’t realize how much I was missing watching the show in standard format. You can get your copy here.
Also, you can really admire the gear the geeks on the show wear. For instance, you can really see the various cool belt buckles that Howard Wolowitz shows off and you can never get enough of Sheldon’s t-shirts. I really love the original NES controller buckle here:
In fact, you can buy the gear here at Sheldon’sShirts.Com.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Twit’s Tweets
Apr 29th
Yet more proof that twitter is lame.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Muslims Once Again Prove Their Mastery of Science
Apr 29th
By slaughtering all pigs in their borders. In response to the swine flu, Muslims over-react by slaughtering every living pig alive within the borders of their nations under the mistaken belief that the pigs pose a health hazard- which they don’t. Its human to human transmission that will kill them.
From the AP here:
Egypt began slaughtering the roughly 300,000 pigs in the country Wednesday as a precaution against swine flu even though no cases have been reported here, infuriating farmers who blocked streets and stoned vehicles of Health Ministry workers who came to carry out the government’s order.
The measure was a stark expression of the panic the deadly outbreak is spreading around the world, especially in poor countries with weak public health systems.
At one large pig farming center just north of Cairo, scores of angry farmers blocked the street to prevent Health Ministry workers in trucks and bulldozers from coming in to slaughter the animals. Some pelted the vehicles with rocks and shattered their windshields and the workers left without killing any pigs.
In Jordan, the government decided Wednesday to shut down the country’s five pig farms, involving 800 animals, for violating public health safety regulations. Half the pigs will be killed and the rest will be relocated to areas away from the population, officials said.
Global health experts said the mass slaughter of pigs is entirely unnecessary and a waste of resources. “It is unfortunate,” the U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization Chief Veterinary Officer Joseph Domenech said of Egypt’s decision. “The crisis today is in transmission from human to human. It has nothing to do with pigs” .
The article tries really hard to say that this is just a response to prevent panic, but what they really mean is these bastards are stupid. Islamic superstitions continue to suppress any scientific or medical advancement in Arabia.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...FEMA Coloring Book Fail?
Apr 29th
I saw this on FARK and it is indeed shocking- a coloring book image for children showing the World Trade Center towers being struck by airplanes- and a news agency in Florida claiming that this image was part of a FEMA online coloring book for kids, and the image has now been pulled.
If the video here at Local6.Com is true, this would be a pretty stupid scandal, and quite believable considering how poorly managed FEMA has been and the general distrust of all things government. But I think Local6 fell for a hoax. Looking at archive.org, the internet’s copy of all of the website histories, the coloring book page has remained unchanged for years.
Also, the artistic style is noticeably different. As much as I would love to believe that this is true, I’m calling shenanigans.
Update! Turns out I was looking in the wrong place. The Smoking Gun has more on the story here. And here is the original file still available for download from the Archive.Org site.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Parasites Make for Funny Stories
Apr 28th
Or maybe not. Neatorama pointed me to this story by Vince Eaton where he explains in agonizing, wincing detail, how he was afflicted by a tapeworm and how he managed to kill the thing.
From the Worm Within here:
About an hour later, I felt something move, squirm, within me. I sat very still, as though listening to echoes in a canyon. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. There it was again!
There was a shifting inside my guts. Then there was a more sudden, thrashing movement. And that’s when I realized my tapeworm was going through its death throes. It squirmed and twisted, spasming – and why didn’t the doctor tell me about this part, the bastard? My guts cramped and churned. This went on for five, ten minutes, until, just as suddenly, it subsided. It was over. My tapeworm was at peace.
I celebrated by going to lunch at a restaurant and ordering a large mixed salad, something inert that had never breathed or mooed or snorted or had a face.
Be sure to read the whole thing. It has a happy ending of sorts. Also, Vince invites his readers to share stories of their own encounters with parasites. Lovely stories such as this one:
I remember insane itching around the anal region and going to the toilet just to sit and scratch my suffering ass, feeling nauseated every time I took the toilet paper away to reveal horrible wiggly white worms. I was cured by a “raspberry flavoured” potion of some description which is probably the nastiest thing I have ever tasted.
Ten years or so later probably for reasons I couldn’t fathom I became re-infested. Once again I suffered the nightly clawing at my backside, only this time the disgusting little buggers seemed to be producing some slime or lubricant which would ooze from my ass when I farted. Not nice.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Everybody Was Chav Fighting
Apr 28th
A gym in the UK is offering a class on beating the daylights out of Chavs. Click here to see the website and the hilarious video.
From the Reg here:
‘Don’t give them an ASBO, give them a kicking…’
A London gym is offering decent, hard-working citizens the chance to fight back against the hooded hordes of chavdom by administering alcopop-crazed yoof a righteous thrashing – courtesy of its “Chav Fighting” classes.
According to Gymbox’s blurb, you’ll learn “how to take a Bacardi off a hoodie and turn a grunt into a whine” in a place where “the punch bags gather dust and the world is put to rights”.
If the accompanying vid is anything to go by, a few months of Chav Fighting and the UK’s streets will once more be safe for decorated war veterans to zimmer their way down to the post office to collect their pensions, while those hospital beds not filled with dying pig plague victims will be occupied by the shattered and battered bodies of crippled chavs.
For those of you that may need a translation, an ASBO is an “anti-social behavior order,” which is kind of like a sternly worded letter by the police noting that you have been bad. Chavs are Britain’s white trash.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...America’s First Half-Black President Scares the Bejeezus Out of New Yorkers
Apr 28th
What kind of idiot President would buzz the New York City skyline in his jumbo jet, while making it look like fighter jets were flying to intercept a hijacked plane? One who is totally unaware of the pain that New Yorkers endured during the 9/11 terror attacks. Okay, Obama wasn’t on the plane, but the White House approved the flight.
New Yorkers were evacuating buildings and their bowels when they saw AirForce 1 perform a slow low-altitude flyby. Watch the New Yorkers scream and run in this video. Obama acts like the War on Terror is over, but I think he needs to convince the residents of Manhattan.
First he brought the “Change”- Airplanes in the sky over Manhattan!
Then he brought the “Hope”- New Yorkers hoped this wasn’t another terror attack. Thanks to HotAir for the video.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Organically Farmed Product Killing People and Aborting Babies
Apr 27th
We have seen FDA recalls on pistachios and jalapenos and tomatoes for salmonella infection due to organic farming methods that expose the food to sewage, farm runoff or other sources of fecal contaminants. Previous salmonella infections have crippled the food industry, many farmers who used safer farming methods, and sickened and killed many.
This time alfalfa sprouts have been found to be infected on a farm in New York state and distributed to northeastern states of NY, NJ, CT, RI, MA, NH, VT, ME, MD, PA & Delaware. And instead of salmonella, the bacteria is Listeria, which causes menengitis outbreaks and will cause women to spontaneously miscarry their pregnancies.
From the FDA here with thanks to Leon:
Amalgamated Produce, Inc. (API), Bridgeport, CT, announced a voluntary recall today of its Specialty Farms, Vermont Sprout House, Nature’s Promise and BroccoSprouts (noted as distributed by API, Bridgeport, CT) sprout items with sell by date codes of March 31 through April 27, 2009.
These sprouts are being recalled because they may have the potential to be contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes (Lm). Lm is an organism which can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections in young children, frail or elderly people and others with weakened immune systems. Although healthy individuals may suffer only short-term symptoms such as high fever, severe headache, stiffness, nausea, abdominal pain and diarrhea, Listeria infection can cause miscarriages and stillbirths among pregnant women.
As I have pointed out before, our forefathers spent years and a vast fortune to perfect scientific methods to provide us safe and healthy food. Now a bunch of hippies who deny the existence of science when it comes to food, but embrace it when it comes to ecological myths such as Global Warming, are creating a false market for food that is neither healthy nor safe.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Another Worker Shocked to be Fired for Surfing Facebook
Apr 27th
Worker calls in sick, specifically saying there is no way she can stare at a computer screen. Boss sends the worker a friend request on Facebook. Sick worker accepts. Boss fires worker. Worker gets pissed off and calls a press conference.
From Reuters here:
A Swiss insurance worker lost her job after surfing popular social network site Facebook while off sick.
The woman said she could not work in front of a computer as she needed to lie in the dark but was then seen to be active on Facebook, which insurer Nationale Suisse said in a statement had destroyed its trust in the employee.
The unnamed woman told the 20 Minuten daily she had been surfing Facebook in bed on her iPhone and accused her employer of spying on her and other employees by sending a mysterious friend request which allows access to personal online activity.
I think there is much more behind this story than either the company or the employee is talking about in the article. The woman was obviously a lousy employee if something this simple was enough to have her terminated. But this is what happens when you are a crappy employee and lie to your employer and operate an online presense that is open to the public.
See another terminated facebook user here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Belch.Com’s Tips to Surviving the Swine Flu Pandemic
Apr 27th
The Swine Flu has struck and it is slaying Mexicans by the dozens. There are reports of the flu outbreaks in several clusters in the United States as well and government agencies are preparing for the worst. Here is some background on this insidious disease courtesy of the Weekly World News:
From the WWN here:
WASHINGTON, DC – The Swine Flu epidemic has reached the United States. This new mutated strand of influenza starts as a normal flu, then turns people into pigs.
The world is in the grip of fear over an outbreak of a new Swine Flu. A previous strain affected pigs by making them grow enormous and vicious. This flu has since mutated, mixing with human and avian viruses, to create a new and more dangerous Swine Flu. This flu begins with typical symptoms, such as sneezing fever and lethargy, but soon makes humans grow larger and more angry. Then, by the first full moon, sufferers turn into mutated pigs!
An early victim
So if you want to avoid infection, you must do the following:
- Avoid Mexicans, and stay away from Taco Bell, which is a known gathering place for Pigmen from Mexico.
- Stay indoors during the full moon.
- Avoid Rosie O’Donnell
- Beware of Roseanne Barr and John Madden
- Avoid health spas where fat women take mud baths
- Swine Flu may contaminate meat in both birds and pigs, so whatever you do, don’t eat Turkey Bacon!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Liberal Ideas That Don’t Work: Have a Block Party to Remember Those Lost to Violence
Apr 27th
The result of this idea? Nine shot, one fatally. The cops have made zero arrests, “’cause snitches are bitches, yo!”
From Jacksonville.Com here:
One person was shot and killed and another eight were wounded when someone opened fire on a block party near McDuff Avenue north of Interstate 10 late Saturday night.
Police identified the deceased as 21-year-old Dominique Andrew Waters of Jacksonville. The shooting happened about 9:30 p.m. at the 200 block of Bronson Street. About 200 people were attending the block party, when someone began shooting into the crowd.
Eddie Diamond, who was not at the block party, said it was to commemorate other people who have been lost to violence.
Eighteen fire and rescue units responded to the shooting. “At a couple of points it was so volatile and dangerous we could not enter the scene,” Bracey said. “Police told us to stay out.”
For liberals, there is little point to prosecute crime, especially among the poor. As long as those downtrodden blacks keep voting Democrat, that is all they care about. What costs more? A dedicated police task force to stamp out drugs and crime in a neighborhood? Or a massive response of police to a mass shooting with helicopters and all of the city’s ambulances on site?
You can take a virtual walk around this sunny neighborhood thanks to Google Streetview. As I looked at all of the boarded up empty homes, the bars on the windows of the few remaining open businesses, the trash in the streets- it made me instinctively look for car doors to lock. These guys, two blocks from the shooting, won’t even stop dealing drugs when the Google Street van drives by:
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Shocker! Pizza Delivery to Hampton University Goes Badly
Apr 26th
When I was young, I had the sad misfortune to deliver pizzas to the so-called “students” that inhabit the campus of the all-black Hampton University in my hometown of Hampton, Virginia. In the two years of delivering pizzas to those thugs and animals, I had been robbed several times and accumulated 37 cents in tips, which I got only because I didn’t have enough coins to give back to the customer- I lied and told him I had the change in the car, and when I got to the car I hauled ass.
All of the delivery drivers in all of the pizza shops in all of the city of Hampton who have to deliver to the HU campus would gladly rather deliver pizzas to the following list of customers than to have to deliver to HU:
- Crazy Cat ladies and their 96 cats
- Cuban refugees on a raft floating off Strawberry Banks
- The city jail
- A troupe of hungry cannibals
- A zombie-infested city morgue
And this is not a matter of racism- When I began to manage a pizza shop that delivered to HU, my black drivers would threaten to quit because they would get robbed and gipped on tips too.
So it was not a shock to me at all when I read in the news that a pizza driver was shot delivering to the seventh circle of pizza delivery hell, also known as Harkness Hall. From the AP here:
A former Hampton University student armed with three guns followed a pizza delivery man into the student’s former dorm early Sunday, shot the delivery man and a dorm monitor, then turned the gun on himself, university officials said. All three survived.
No current students were injured and both victims and the alleged shooter were expected to recover. Officials could offer no motive for the shooting.
The 18-year-old former student, who is from New York City, parked his car off campus to avoid a vehicle checkpoint at Hampton’s main gate, then followed the pizza delivery man on foot and inside a freshman dormitory, Harkness Hall. Once inside, he shot the pizza man and entered the monitor’s office and fired three shots at him, then shot himself, Hampton University Police Chief Leroy Crosby said.
Students were playing music and video games in the all-male freshman dormitory when they heard a fire alarm sound early Sunday. As they left their rooms, they saw the delivery man shot in the neck and stomach outside the monitor’s office. Police were applying pressure to his wounds, he said.
The gunman was so inept he couldn’t even kill himself with his own handgun. He must have been holding it sideways. Crime statistics are required to be collected in Virginia’s colleges. Here is the shocking stats of rape, robbery and larceny at HU. It is likely many victims are pizza delivery guys:
| GENERAL CRIMES – HAMPTON UNIVERSITY MAIN CAMPUS | |||||
|
Offense Type
|
Year
|
On-Campus
|
Residence Hall
|
Non-Campus Building or Property
|
Public Property
|
| Forcible Sex Offenses | 2007 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
| 2006 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| 2005 |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Non-Forcible Sex Offenses | 2007 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
| 2006 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| 2005 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Robbery | 2007 |
3
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
| 2006 |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| 2005 |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Aggravated Assault | 2007 |
7
|
2
|
3
|
0
|
| 2006 |
3
|
1
|
0
|
2
|
|
| 2005 |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Larceny | 2007 |
114
|
28
|
12
|
1
|
| 2006 |
118
|
21
|
3
|
2
|
|
| 2005 |
116
|
24
|
0
|
0
|
|
| Burglary | 2007 |
52
|
28
|
4
|
0
|
| 2006 |
69
|
42
|
1
|
0
|
|
| 2005 |
50
|
23
|
0
|
0
|
|
Now compare this to another regional college- William and Mary, another school that I delivered to, which nothing bad ever happened- A fraction of the crime.
HU’s police laughably advise the campus residents to walk quickly, with a buddy and act tough to prevent becoming a statistic-
- Avoid walking alone unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
- It is always best to let someone know where you are going and when you are expected back.
- Avoid walking in dark, isolated areas.
- Walk with confidence! Whenever possible, know where you are going
Check out a review by a former student of HU here. Here is another story of a pizza run gone sideways.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Artist Unveils “The Truth”
Apr 25th
Its an acrylic on canvas piece titled “The Truth” featuring Obama in a crucifixion pose wearing a crown of thorns on his head. Michael D’Antuono is the artist and he unveiled the piece on Obama’s 100th day in office. Behold “The Truth.”
Of course the artist is deliberately trying to provoke a reaction, especially from the religious people in our society, but the artist refuses to state whether the image is intended to mock leftists who worship Obama or whether it is supposed to incite anger from conservatives for being yet another artist who embraces Obama and his government as a replacement for salvation.
His artist’s statement says here at PRNewswire:
President Obama appearing much like Jesus Christ on the Cross; atop his head, a crown of thorns. Behind him, the dark veil being lifted (or lowered) on the Presidential Seal. But is he revealing or concealing and is he being crucified or glorified?
D’Antuono insists that this piece is a mirror; reflecting the personal opinions and emotions of the viewer; that “The Truth” like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. D’Antuono expects that individual interpretations will vary as widely as they do in the political arena.
I only see this piece as something that is sacrilegious and a PR stunt to get the artist’s name onto the public scene. And I understand that, and in a way, I appreciate it. It made me look up the guy’s website which is here. On the site are several pieces of art that I found to be much more pleasant, and because I enjoy looking at art, I appreciate the Obama piece because I would never have found D’Antuono’s other more appealing art otherwise. I guess that makes the Obama piece a “gateway painting.” Heh. Check out some of his other works at his website. My favorites are below:
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Chillin on a Hot Day
Apr 25th
The east coast is experiencing a welcome heat wave to drive out what has been a very long and cold winter. It topped 90 in my neighborhood. We celebrated by having beer-in-the-butt chicken, grilled plantains and black beans and rice with family and friends. Cartney and his PopPaw demonstrate how they beat the heat on a hot afternoon.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...First You Ban Clown Shoes. Next You Ban the Clowns.
Apr 24th
Usually the Nanny state is banning stuff that seems perfectly harmless in the name of safety, but I think this is one ban I can get behind: The UK is banning clowns from wearing big shoes because they could trip and fall and hurt themselves.
From the Telegraph here with thanks to Moonbattery:
Valerik Kashkin, a clown in the Moscow State Circus, was performing in Liverpool’s Sefton Park last Saturday when he fell from a three metre high slack wire, injuring his foot.
Although he continued to perform for the rest of the show, when he went to hospital later that evening, he was told he had broken the metatarsal bone in his left foot.
When he returned to the circus he was told by management he could no longer wear the size-18 shoes because they compromised his health and safety.
But he is now worried performing in his regular sized footwear will lose impact on the audience.
Health and Safety adviser to the circus said: “I’m not a believer in political correctness, or doing things for the sake of doing it however. “You have to take a common-sense approach with these things – if it’s stupid, don’t do it.“
You know, there has never been a bad pair of clown shoes. It is only when you stick clowns in them shoes that they become hazardous. They should do society a huge favor and just ban clowns altogether.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Say Goodbye to GeoCities
Apr 23rd
GeoCities has been the longtime home for website noobs for over a decade. Long before web surfers were using eye bleach to the cleanse the vision of bad MySpace pages, people were being blinded by the awful cluttered sites on GeoCities.
It seemed like a cool idea at the time- organizing user homepages based on virtual homesteads to reflect common interests such as the arts, science, politics and others. Yahoo bought the company for almost 3 Billion dollars at the height of the dotcom boom in 1999. Now they are announcing that they plan on shutting the site down this year and are no longer accepting new user accounts. Full details over at TechCrunch here.
From a cyber security perspective, however, I have to sadly say good riddance to bad rubbish. Like MySpace, nothing of value exists on the internet on the GeoCities domain, and in fact, there is quite a lot that can harm a network. In the past few years phishers, hackers, malware authors and other cyber criminals have seeded free website pages with bad code and drive-by trojan horse downloads. Most reputable businesses block this domain to prevent their users from getting infected- its kinda like locking your car doors when you take the wrong exit from the highway and wind up in the ghetto where all of the denizens hold their guns sideways.
Given that webpages are a cheap commodity and Yahoo has been facing liability issues for hosting pages associated with criminal activity, it is probably a good idea to scrap the whole free hosting site. But I’m sure they wish they could get their money back.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Fatbeard the Pirate Goes to Somalia
Apr 23rd
But not with any soulless Gingers aboard, Yaarrr!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Creepy Ginger Rapist Teacher Convicted- Faces 261 Years in Jail
Apr 23rd
Jennifer Rice, the teacher from Tacoma, Washington that raped a 10 year old boy, copped a plea and admitted guilt in raping her 10 year old student and his 15 year old brother. When she is sentenced she could get the max of 261 years in the clink where her ovaries will wither to the size of rabbit turds.
From the NewsTribune here:
A Pierce County judge on Monday convicted Jennifer L. Rice of kidnapping and raping a 10-year-old boy she taught at Tacoma’s McKinley Elementary School two years ago.
Superior Court Judge D. Gary Steiner also found Rice, 33, guilty of raping the boy’s older brother and ruled one of her crimes was predatory, qualifying her for an extra-long prison sentence.
The former teacher faces more than 25 years in prison when sentenced June 5. Steiner ordered Rice, who’s been in jail since her arrest in summer 2007, to stay there until sentencing.
Rice, the mother of young children, wiped at tears after Steiner made his rulings.
The convictions followed a brief “stipulated facts” trial. Prosecutors and Rice’s defense team agreed to a set of facts in the case, and Steiner reviewed them before making his decision.
Rice admitted she had sexual intercourse with both boys on separate occasions – the older brother was 15 at the time – and that she kidnapped and molested the younger boy.
Steiner convicted Rice of four crimes: first-degree kidnapping, first-degree child molestation and two counts of third-degree rape. Steiner found the child-molestation crime was a predatory offense because the victim was one of Rice’s students.
That designation – required when a teacher is accused of certain sex crimes – invokes stiff sentencing requirements: a minimum term of 25 years or the high end of the standard sentencing range, whichever is longer. In Rice’s case, the high end is 261/2 years.
The victims’ parents last month sued the Tacoma, Bethel and Yelm school districts, contending the districts negligently hired and supervised Rice and didn’t do enough to protect students from her. Rice also taught in the North Thurston School District.
The state has revoked her licenses to teach and work as a counselor.
So now that Jennifer rice is convicted, I suppose the schools will finally stop paying this rapist’s salary. Also, I wrote before how Jennifer Rice is challenging the predatory crimes laws as unfair. I don’t think they are unfair at all, and I doubt the judges will be sympathetic during her appeals.
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