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Shocker! Pizza Delivery to Hampton University Goes Badly

When I was young, I had the sad misfortune to deliver pizzas to the so-called “students” that inhabit the campus of the all-black Hampton University in my hometown of Hampton, Virginia. In the two years of delivering pizzas to those thugs and animals, I had been robbed several times and accumulated 37 cents in tips, which I got only because I didn’t have enough coins to give back to the customer- I lied and told him I had the change in the car, and when I got to the car I hauled ass.

All of the delivery drivers in all of the pizza shops in all of the city of Hampton who have to deliver to the HU campus would gladly rather deliver pizzas to the following list of customers than to have to deliver to HU:

  • Crazy Cat ladies and their 96 cats
  • Cuban refugees on a raft floating off Strawberry Banks
  • The city jail
  • A troupe of hungry cannibals
  • A zombie-infested city morgue

And this is not a matter of racism-  When I began to manage a pizza shop that delivered to HU, my black drivers would threaten to quit because they would get robbed and gipped on tips too.

So it was not a shock to me at all when I read in the news that a pizza driver was shot delivering to the seventh circle of pizza delivery hell, also known as Harkness Hall. From the AP here:

A former Hampton University student armed with three guns followed a pizza delivery man into the student’s former dorm early Sunday, shot the delivery man and a dorm monitor, then turned the gun on himself, university officials said. All three survived.

No current students were injured and both victims and the alleged shooter were expected to recover. Officials could offer no motive for the shooting.

The 18-year-old former student, who is from New York City, parked his car off campus to avoid a vehicle checkpoint at Hampton’s main gate, then followed the pizza delivery man on foot and inside a freshman dormitory, Harkness Hall. Once inside, he shot the pizza man and entered the monitor’s office and fired three shots at him, then shot himself, Hampton University Police Chief Leroy Crosby said.

Students were playing music and video games in the all-male freshman dormitory when they heard a fire alarm sound early Sunday. As they left their rooms, they saw the delivery man shot in the neck and stomach outside the monitor’s office. Police were applying pressure to his wounds, he said.

The gunman was so inept he couldn’t even kill himself with his own handgun.  He must have been holding it sideways.  Crime statistics are required to be collected in Virginia’s colleges.  Here is the shocking stats of rape, robbery and larceny at HU.  It is likely many victims are pizza delivery guys:

GENERAL CRIMES – HAMPTON UNIVERSITY MAIN CAMPUS
Offense Type
Year
On-Campus
Residence Hall
Non-Campus Building or Property
Public Property
Forcible Sex Offenses 2007
0
0
0
0
2006
0
0
0
0
2005
2
1
0
0
Non-Forcible Sex Offenses 2007
0
0
0
0
2006
0
0
0
0
2005
0
0
0
0
Robbery 2007
3
0
0
0
2006
1
0
0
0
2005
0
0
0
0
Aggravated Assault 2007
7
2
3
0
2006
3
1
0
2
2005
2
1
0
0
Larceny 2007
114
28
12
1
2006
118
21
3
2
2005
116
24
0
0
Burglary 2007
52
28
4
0
2006
69
42
1
0
2005
50
23
0
0

Now compare this to another regional college- William and Mary, another school that I delivered to, which nothing bad ever happened-  A fraction of the crime.

HU’s police laughably advise the campus residents to walk quickly, with a buddy and act tough to prevent becoming a statistic-

  • Avoid walking alone unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
  • It is always best to let someone know where you are going and when you are expected back.
  • Avoid walking in dark, isolated areas.
  • Walk with confidence!  Whenever possible, know where you are going

Check out a review by a former student of HU here.  Here is another story of a pizza run gone sideways.

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

3 thoughts on “Shocker! Pizza Delivery to Hampton University Goes Badly

  • Crosby said he didn’t know what prompted the shooting.

    The nation and world who is watching have the answer: the shooter’s access to a gun.

  • Bemused, or RealityCheck, or whatever false name you are trolling under-

    Are you saying blacks shouldn’t get guns? Go away you racist.

  • Endersdragon

    Dang, my college was in a horrible neighborhood, we would have homeless people sneaking on campus, see drug deals going down if we walked a few blocks off campus (or at least thats what I think they are, but when two people are exchanging things in a dark alley late at night… yeah), etc. We might see 4 people get mugged in a year (with much the same advice being given, and generally being broken). Those numbers are just crazy.

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