I can't believe that came from your mouth!
fail
Where My EBT Card At?
Sep 19th
Drudge tweeted out this Youtube up-and-coming hit. I think the man in this video stole his sample tracks from a more successful musician, along with his sistah’s EBT foodstamp card. Whatever happened to those awesome monopoly money foodstamps you had to rip out of the booklet to allow others to properly show scorn for your non-working asses?
And I hate to correct anyone’s ebonics, but I think the proper phrase is “Where my EBT card be?” And this little card can be a source of stress in the lives of single moms and their playa boyfriends, who like to playfight and scare the bejeezus out of little kids.
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Ah, the US Day of Rage!
Sep 17th
Today was the birthday of the US Constitution, so of course a bunch of leftists decided to celebrate that by “taking back democracy” by camping out in Wall Street in lower Manhattan to mimic the Arab Spring protests. The organizers called it the US Day of Rage.
A bunch of conservatives flocked to Twitter to point and laugh at the juvenile antics of the protesters. I tossed in a bunch of snark myself thanks to Jess and her stream of discontent:
Between the Day of Rage and the AttackWatch silliness, the left has provided quite a few laughs for me this week.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...How Solyndra Got Its Loan from the Govt
Sep 17th
The department of energy goes through quite a few submission videos to pick who they are going to throw cash at. One VHS tape got their attention:
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Uh Oh. Hitler’s AttackWatch.Com Site is a Laughing Stock
Sep 16th
The web design team of AttackWatch.Com have to break the saddening news to the Führer.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Oh Solyndra! Don’t You Cry For Me- I Come From California With Solar Panels on My Knee
Sep 16th
If you have a bad case of photo-voltaic patella, (solar panel knee) then Obamacare is just the cure you need. Here is John Stewart’s masterful take on the Solyndra scandal. It had me rolling on the floor.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Gardisil and Bachmann: Tea Party Face Palm
Sep 13th
Boy did Michelle Bachmann ever say something stupid: She claims that the Gardisil vaccination caused the daughter of a weepy constituent to catch “a case of the severe retards.”
She said:
There’s a woman who came up crying to me tonight after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine.
As Ed Morrissey at HotAir says:
Huh? “Mental retardation” typically takes place in a pre- or neo-natal event. Autism becomes apparent in the first couple of years of life — and primarily affects boys. Gardasil vaccinations take place among girls between 9-12 years of age. Even assuming that this anecdote is arguably true, it wouldn’t be either “mental retardation” or autism, but brain damage.
The “mental retardation” argument is a rehash of the thoroughly discredited notion that vaccines containing thimerasol caused a rapid increase in diagnosed autism cases. That started with a badly-botched report in Lancet that allowed one researcher to manipulate a ridiculously small sample of twelve cases in order to reach far-sweeping conclusions about thimerasol. That preservative hasn’t been included in vaccines for years, at least not in the US, and the rate of autism diagnoses remain unchanged.
She should have just kept on criticizing Barack Obama and quit trying to snipe at Perry and others on the Republican ticket. Because of this statement, I have serious doubts about her ability to read and understand scientific information. And if she were to win the presidency and take a stand against the Global Warming scientific fraud, the left would just call her anti-science and refer to this incident as proof.
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Idiot Muslims With Free Healthcare Would Rather Sit on Railroad Tracks
Sep 10th
Meet Abdul Rachman. He, like most of his Muslim countrymen, are poorly educated rubes who can barely understand modern technology, much less biology. He claims to be achy so he treats his arthritis by laying down on the railroad tracks near his home because “imaginary electricity” from a passing train makes him feel better.
From the LATimes here:
Each afternoon, Abdul Rachman indulges in his favorite way to reduce the stresses of the working world: He sits on the railway tracks not far from home.
Rachman, a 32-year-old security guard, has suffered from rheumatism and fatigue. “People can say what they want. I do it because I want to be cured.”
Rachman is among scores of advocates of railway “electric therapy,” a treatment some Indonesians believe cures such ailments as strokes, asthma, high blood pressure and rheumatism, not to mention a hard day at the office.
Believers say that as trains pass on adjacent racks, they administer a string of low-voltage electric shocks that jolt away whatever ails people. So far, at least, officials say, no one has been struck by trains.
In the world’s most-populous Muslim-majority nation, many practice a form of Islam that is mixed with superstition and traditional beliefs, including voodoo-like treatments to ward off spells and illnesses.
Although everyone is entitled to free healthcare, many get fed up with the bureaucracy of obtaining the services. Rachman, who earns $120 a month, is one of them.
“You have to pay to go to the doctor, but here it’s free,” he said. “You can come whenever you want, morning or afternoon, and you can stay all day.”
Smart bunch of people over there. And Obama, who came from Indonesia, wants to model our healthcare after what he saw in his homeland. But I think getting Muslims to sit on railroad tracks is an outstanding idea, and one that I will gladly encourage.
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Never Good When the Hot Beef Injection Burns
Sep 9th
In what is the most hilarious way to die I’ve seen so far this year, Janet Hardt, an aging woman who was likely addicted to cosmetic surgery, injected beef fat into her face, went to the hospital because it burned, and she died.
From WLS here:
A Homewood woman died Thursday after apparently injecting heated beef fat into her face at her south suburban home.
Janet Hardt, 63 , was pronounced dead at 6:25 p.m.
A source said shortly before Hardt died she injected heated beef fat into her face around her mouth and chin, which she had done before on several occasions.
Hardt went to the hospital after complaining that her face became singed and felt like it was burning.
She has previously undergone multiple facial surgeries.
What is up with women shooting up fat? I previously wrote about another woman who used to inject veggie oil into stupid women. Also, Kanye West’s Mom died having the fat sucked out of her.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...What is Your Favorite Rap Song?
Sep 5th
This is mine.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Egads: Michelle Obama Does Double Dutch on White House Lawn
Sep 5th
The ever-classless, overweight, and poorly dressed Michelle Obama jumped double-dutch jumprope on the White House lawn in what is sure to be a new low for an American First Lady. Even Betty Ford, who was draining the dregs of cough syrup from the White House medicine cabinets, did that indoors and away from the camera.
First Lady Michelle Obama Worldwide Day of Play Spot from Jessica Wilson on Vimeo.
What wasn’t caught on camera was a white house engineer opening up a south lawn fire hydrant so Michelle and the kids could strip down to their underwear and play in the spray. But even that was shortly lived when a firetruck siren went off a few blocks away. Michelle screamed “Its the Po-Po, run everybody!” and the party abruptly came to an end.
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Kid Executes Cross-Dressing Poof in Class in Front of Witnesses and Jury Can’t Convict
Sep 1st
Ah Los Angeles. The city where liberalism is so rampant, that when a jury is handed an open and shut case of premeditated murder against a crossdressing child, the jury can’t decide to convict. And now we have the hilarious new defense for execution style murder known as “gay panic.”
From the LATimes here:
A jury has been unable to reach a verdict in the murder trial of Brandon McInerney, the 17-year-old accused of shooting a gay classmate to death in 2008.
The jury began deliberating Friday, weighing eight weeks of testimony in a trial that included nearly 100 witnesses. Many of those testifying were students and teachers at E.O. Green Junior High School in Oxnard who saw tensions on campus rising after 15-year-old Larry King began coming to school dressed in makeup and girl’s boots.
McInerney, then 14, shot King twice in the back of the head in a school computer lab on Feb. 12, 2008. The prosecution says it was a calculated murder carried out in part because McInerney was exploring white supremacist ideology and didn’t like homosexuals.
Defense attorneys painted a different picture, that of a bright but abused 14-year-old who snapped after being sexually harassed by King.
In liberal dogma, its just fine that a young boy suddenly wants to wear makeup and start propositioning other boys for sexual intercourse, and teachers won’t step in and stop such behavior, much less make the child get counselling to find out what adults have been molesting him to prompt such acting out. And when another child, shaken by the feelings provoked by the behavior, puts an end to the situation, liberals have the gall to act shocked.
The jury may be hung, but there will probably be a retrial. In the mean time, don’t shed any tears for Larry King. He got to go to gay heaven to be with Matthew Shephard who died on the fence for all gay sins.
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MLK Memorial Was Made in China- No Qualified Black Sculptors
Aug 30th
Check out Ol’ MLK in the imported granite sculpture below, with his “Keepin’ It Real” pose. He looks like he just won a rap battle and is getting to drop the microphone. According to the Chinese manufacturer, who specialized in sculpting Chairman Mao Tse Tung, there are no such things as black sculptors who had the mad skills to chip away some white rock to reveal the majesty of Dr. King.
From the National Post here:
The chunks of granite used to sculpt the new Martin Luther King Jr. memorial had to be imported from Changsha. And the whole thing was designed by a Chinese architect, Lei Yixin — previously noted for statues of that great champion of human rights, Mao Zedong.
Chinese workers, too, were brought in to put it all together as the U.S. lacked people capable of doing this.
Yup, made in China strikes again and at the heart of the U.S. capital. The new sculpture has been installed in between monuments to Jefferson and Lincoln in Washington.
Some observers have discerned an Asiatic cast to Dr. King’s features. Others find his stance — stern, with folded arms — reminiscent of another Communist icon, Joe Stalin.
Surely, having a black sculptor of a black civil rights icon — working on ground once toiled by black slaves, on the National Mall, designed and surveyed with the help of a black mathematician and astronomer Benjamin Banneker — would have added to the King memorial’s symbolic power.
So, yes, it stings when, centuries later, creators of the King memorial say they couldn’t find a qualified black sculptor.
The Chinese think that all blacks play football or rap. They don’t sculpt. And that white liberals in this country think its just peachy that the Chinese are designing our National monuments and not including American artists or architects, black or white, in the creation of these memorials, is laughably sad.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Son of Racist Senator Says Civil Rights Bigots Were No More Harmful than Global Warming Skeptics
Aug 29th
Al Gore has opened his mouth again, and as usual, he is calling people racists, and equating bigotry, where people turned dogs and firehouses on black people to telling a friend that “Nah, that Global Warming stuff is probably bullshit.”
Al Gore’s Dad attempted to block the implementation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Democrats founded the racist domestic terror organization of the KKK to scare blacks away from voting Republican, and that has worked pretty well. Now Al Gore is saying that if you tell someone that Global Warming is BS then you have just turned a firehose on a black baby or something.
From the DailyCaller here:
One day climate change skeptics will be seen in the same negative light as racists, or so says former Vice President Al Gore.
“I remember, again going back to my early years in the South, when the Civil Rights revolution was unfolding, there were two things that really made an impression on me,” Gore said. “My generation watched Bull Connor turning the hose on civil rights demonstrators (Bull Connor was a Democrat) and we went, ‘Whoa! How gross and evil is that?’ My generation asked old people, ‘Explain to me again why it is okay to discriminate against people because their skin color is different?’ And when they couldn’t really answer that question with integrity, the change really started.”
The former vice president recalled how society succeeded in marginalizing racists and said climate change skeptics must be defeated in the same manner.
The same scientists that said we were all doomed this past weekend because of a giant Thunderstorm are the same dolts that are screaming about Global Warming. Think about the hysteria that so many people felt about Hurricane Irene. Fear was ginned up and fanned to the point that many Americans denuded the grocery stores of bottled water and other goods. I have seen thunderstorms roll through my neighborhood any summer evening with more power than Irene possessed. So Al Gore can kiss my ass if he expects me to blindly believe anything that anyone in the field of meteorology says- they deal with actual live data and get it wrong! Much less would I believe scientists in leftist universities who push the proposal that we eliminate energy to combat a problem that doesn’t seem to exist- using data that they have to make up because our hard scientific data can only be measured in the past 120 years accurately. And the Global Warming Scientists have been caught faking their data in the past.
No, I’m a skeptic, and proud of it.
Al Gore’s Dad applauded Bull Connor’s actions, and Al Gore probably tells racist jokes while he snorts coke off the asses of hotel massage therapists.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Irene is a Complete Joke- Streakers on the Weather Channel
Aug 27th
Irene can’t even come up with enough gusty weather to keep streakers at the Virginia Beach Oceanfront from flashing the idiot newsmen who are broadcasting live from the storm. And if you have an aversion to wiener, don’t hit the play button.
Thanks to Bill Burr!
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Steve Jobs Has the iCancer
Aug 26th
Someone forgot to plug Steve Jobs into the wall outlet.
The photo above was from TMZ taken two days after the Apple CEO resigned.
So maybe cellphones really do cause brain cancer?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Too Many Toolbars?
Aug 21st
My pal Gary sent along this awesome Cracked article about how some people wind up fixing computers of their idiot friends who disable their AV software and love to install malicious freeware.
This hilarious photo shows a debilitating number of browser toolbars.
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Disgusting Porn Star Uses Baby as Prop for her “Art”
Aug 17th
Meet Tina Butcher, aka Madison Young. This porn star got knocked up, but refused to let pregnancy or becoming a mother dissuade her from her onscreen pornography. In fact, she is doubling down and using her newborn as a prop in her San Francisco (of course) art gallery.
Besides taking sexualized photos with an infant, Butcher also uses her own unpasteurized (and likely Hep-C infected) breastmilk as a dessert topping for guests at her gallery. Hilariously, only lesbians and gays seem to want to eat that.
From T&S here:
My exhibit Becoming MILF was a visual and performative journey through my pregnancy and into the throws of motherhood while still working in the sex industry. I wanted to express the challenges of balancing the life of the whore and the madonna at the same time. At the opening reception I sat in a corner hand whisking whipped topping for milkshakes while pumping breast milk, and then added the breast milk to the whipped topping. I was using traditional women’s work and the re-appropriating of my breasts for nourishment to create a dessert, encouraging gallery goers to address their thoughts on breastfeeding, breasts of mothers versus breasts of adult film actresses, and the consumption of breast milk past infancy.
Why is it that liberals think that grossing people out and using pornography is art? Jackass did gross-out stunts in public too, and no one called that art.
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I Like My London on the Toasty Side
Aug 10th
I have written before that this is the year of the Mob.
Now many parts of the UK are aflame and leftists dance with glee in the streets. The news says hilariously that the cops are going to break out the water cannons, or maybe a plastic bullet or two to make the mob think twice about buring and looting. Basically, the cops have elevated the risk to mobbers and looters by just a mere fraction.
The solution is not to deploy more personnel and an incremental level of weaponry to combat the problem. You drastically raise the level of weaponry to elevate the risk of mobbing and looting to that of probable death. Right now mobbers have to face a slap on the wrist if they are caught and a stern talking-to by a London Bobbie. You gotta crack some skulls and shoot some faces to make people understand that burning your town to the ground is not acceptable in polite society.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Taiwanese Animators Take on Obama Downgrade
Aug 9th
The guy at the end laughing and holding the white, blue and red flag? That’s the Russian flag.
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Shoulda Seen This Coming
Aug 9th
Barack is an anagram for Ackbar.
The downgrade, the stock market crash, the coming depression. How’s that hope and change working out for all you young liberals? Thanks to my nephew Nate for the idea.
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