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Today is Thursday
September 2, 2010

Search Results Archives: June 2008

June 30, 2008

A Duck, Lizard, Wolf, Cougar, Gray Squirrel and a Border Collie

by Pat — Categories: Humor, Stupid People — Tags: , , — 8 Comments

No, those aren’t the list of animals at the local zoo or nature park. Its the types of Furry Costumes this degenerate freak owns and keeps in his closet. I guess when the first six plushie costumes get covered in geesh at the bottom of the furpile, he can always toss the Ram suit on and keep on Yiffing.

The Furcon is in Pittsburgh. If you are a resident of Pittsburgh, get your flame thrower. Its definitely Wabbit Season. Watch the video here to feel your brain get eaten alive by carpenter ants.

From KDKA here:

Furry Enthusiasts Back In ‘Burgh For Convention

PITTSBURGH (KDKA) ― If you’ve seen animals roaming the streets of Pittsburgh, there’s no need to worry, it’s just that thousands of furry enthusiast have returned to town for their annual meeting at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center.

Like any other conference, the Anthrocon Convention features workshops, panel discussions and vendors, but the attendees … they dress like animals.

This is the third year the convention has come to Pittsburgh.

“Coming to a convention like this, I actually feel like I’m coming home where I can be myself around others who have similar ideas,” said Monica Huffaker, of Scranton. “

So who the hell is Monica Huffaker? Well, strike one, she’s a furry. Strike two, she loves perverted manga and anime according to her godforsaken amazon wishlist here. And strike three, she is the operations manager at a new age “spiritual guidance” shop in Scranton, PA. Her loser trifecta is complete.

June 29, 2008

The Website is Down!

by Pat — Categories: Cyber, Humor — Tags: , , — 2 Comments

This video is so full of geeky tech support WIN, it gets me laughing everytime I watch it. The sysadmin deletes an email from the sent items folder of his boss, and blames system outages on his dumbass users. He reacts with disgust at a flying windows screensaver, whose password is just “a.” He admonishes his user not to use AOL dialup just because he has 4000 free hours. And best of all, there is no setting to arrange your desktop by “penis.” And with all these constant interruptions, he can’t properly enjoy his game of Halo.

June 27, 2008

The Saudis Say Its Okay to Bang a Fetus

by Pat — Categories: Crime, RoP — Tags: , , — 7 Comments

According to Islam, it is permissible to marry a fetus and have glorious sex with it while it is still encased in the womb of its mother, and if its mother is herself a sex slave, its like having a three way! At least, that’s what this white-hooded Saudi Arabian guy, Dr. Ahmad Al-Mub’i is saying. Click this child molester on the nose to see what he has to say.

Okay, he didn’t really say it was okay to bang a fetus. But one-year-olds are fair game, as long as it doesn’t violate a “custom” of the place you live.

And the good Doctor goes on to describe how Muhammad started all of this child molestation by marrying Aisha at 6 and then raping her when she was nine. Now can we exterminate this hideous culture?

Thanks to SnappedShot and FoxNews.

Electronic Jamming of Your Devices- Good “Manners?”

by Pat — Categories: Cyber — Tags: , — 1 Comment

I put up a new post over at [GAS] about jamming digital devices in order to create security, or in the case of movie theaters and restaurants, “good manners.”

So go check out the post. Would you be comfortable with having your cellphone auto-silenced in theaters or airplanes? Is it okay to disable your digital camera in a museum?

Dumbass Coworkers

by Pat — Categories: Cyber, Stupid People — Tags: , — 1 Comment

Im on the distro list at PlxxxCo for lost or stolen corporate assets. Not a day goes by that I don’t get an email from someone complaining that he was a victim of a strongarm robbery and his laptop was stolen. Usually the idiots leave their laptops in their car while drinking at the pub and then act shocked that it gets swiped.

But this email so far took the cake.

I need to report a missing laptop. I don’t believe it was stolen, I think it was left on the top of my car before I got on a freeway. My manager and Sr. Director have been informed. Please let me know what forms I need to fill out and if there are any other actions for me.

I erased my response to the dolt, because I like to collect paychecks. But before I leaned on the backspace key it said,

Seriously? Left it on the car? Your replacement laptop will come equipped with doubleback tape so it can adhere to any surface not recommended for computing such as sides of buildings, the undersides of shelves, and the rooftops of vehicles. Let us know if you plan to work underwater or in a sandbox so we can include our plastic bubble protective case.

June 26, 2008

Madonna Divorcing Guy Ritchie

by Pat — Categories: Movies, Music — Tags: — 3 Comments

Madonna is hiring Paul McCartney’s divorce lawyer to try to help her keep her own money in the upcoming divorce proceedings against Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie deserves at least half of her fortune for allowing Madonna to bang him with a strap on. But if he thought he was getting screwed before…


Guy Ritchie loves teh anal penetration.

From the TimesOnline here:

Fiona Shackleton, the divorce lawyer who ensured that Sir Paul McCartney retained all but £24.3 million of his £825 million fortune, has been lined up by the 49-year-old pop star, Madonna.

Madonna, whose fortune is estimated at £300 million, is understood to be seeking legal advice on a possible divorce from her husband of seven years, the film director Guy Ritchie.

There has been speculation for some time over the marriage of Madonna, 49, and Ritchie, 39, and it is believed that the pop star met Ms Shackleton in April for a preliminary meeting.

It is thought that the couple did not have a pre-nuptial agreement, which means that the starting point for any settlement would be a split of 50-50. A variety of factors such as the length of the marriage and the wealth brought to the marriage by Madonna, in particular, would then be taken into account.

Without a pre-nuptial agreement, Ritchie could be looking at as much as £50 million of Madonna’s £300 million fortune. Lately the star has been seen out without her wedding ring, fueling talk of a rift.

Storming the Fail Beach

by Pat — Categories: Humor — Tags: , — 1 Comment

I’m not too sure who these soldiers are- I’m pretty certain they aren’t American. Some of the YouTube comments say these guys are Brits, but I’m not sure about that either. This must be some kind of training exercise or hazing ritual, but it sure is funny.

If you haven’t bookmarked the Failblog yet, you should. Great funny stuff is scattered all over that site.

The Liberals are Shrieking

by Pat — Categories: Politics — Tags: — 1 Comment

The US Supreme Court overturned the DC gun ban. Now maybe I will feel a little safer when I drive into the city. Chicago and New York will also become safer now that citizens are allowed to protect themselves from criminals.

From Reuters here:

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled on Thursday, for the first time in the nation’s history, that individual Americans have the right to own guns for personal use, and struck down a strict gun control law in the nation’s capital.

The landmark 5-4 ruling marked the first time in nearly 70 years that the high court has addressed whether the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution protects an individual right to keep and bear arms, rather than a right tied to service in a state militia.

John Paul Stevens, a big liberal on the bench wrote in his dissent:

…the majority “would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of weapons.”

He said such evidence “is nowhere to be found.”

Someone should get Stevens a dictionary so he can look up the words “shall not be infringed.”  Yes, the framers wanted to limit the tools available.

June 25, 2008

Pregnant With Twins, the Jolies Take the Net Back to Africa

by Pat — Categories: Humor, Stupid People — Tags: , — 1 Comment

As everyone knows, Ethiopia has the best orphanariums. According to OK! Magazine, Angelina, bursting with Pitt-Spawn twins, was spotted waddling outside an Ethiopian baby cage, wetting her britches over the cute little brown one sleeping on a UN rice sack.


Angelina with her child-catching net.

From OK! here:

Even though Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are about to welcome their twin girls into the world at any moment now, OK! has learned that’s not stopping them from making plans to add yet another child to their “soccer team” of a family — a baby boy from Ethiopia.

“Angie and Brad have wanted an African boy for the last couple of years,” an insider tells OK!. “They were initially going to have that adoption follow the addition of Pax last year, but that all changed when Angie got pregnant with twins last fall.”

With the twins and one more, it brings the total number of kids in the Jolie dungeon to seven. Seriously, Brad must be ready to eat a bullet. TLC will be banging on their door begging them to adopt a midget dwarf and then they can have their own reality TV series, wedged between Jon and Kate Plus 8 and Little People Big World. They can call the show “The Baby Pitt” or the “Tattooed Baby Collector.”

More Art Found at Goodwill

by Pat — Categories: Art — No Comments

A beautiful French Impressionist painting was ditched at a Goodwill. Someone with a sharp eye recognized it and auctioned it for 40,000 bucks.

The AP said here:

This is a painting, supplied by Sotheby’s auction house, by Edouard Leon Cortes entitled ‘Marche aux fleurs’ or ‘Flower Market,’ sold for $40,600 at a Sotheby’s auction a few weeks ago. The old painting was dropped off at a rural Maryland Goodwill store and turned out to be a work by the French Impressionist. And now, thanks to the sharp eye of a store employee, the charitable organization is $40,600 richer.

This is not the first post about a Goodwill painting. Check out the Benson piece here.

F-Secure’s 2008 Security Overview

by Pat — Categories: China, Cyber — Tags: , , — No Comments

Mikko Hypponen of F-Secure is in this video below describing some of the coolest threats discovered on the Internet in the first half of 2008. Much of it has been covered on this blog before regarding phishing attacks and malware backdoors. But one of his statements near the beginning caught me way off guard and was a bit shocking.

The unrest in China over Tibet has prompted some very targeted malware attacks against Pro Tibet groups. Since many of those humanitarian and human rights groups knew that their email communication was constantly being monitored by China, they had switched to encrypted email- specifically, PGP. Mikko tells a story about how some of the tarteted malware attacks against the pro-tibet groups were designed to steal the public and private PGP keyrings! Since the Chinese can’t crack PGP on their own, but assuredly have copies of the encrypted transmissions, they targeted and stole the PGP keys to decrypt the emails of the dissidents and human rights groups.

Wow.

June 24, 2008

Environmentalists Hate Black People

by Pat — Categories: Africa, Eco-Religion — Tags: , — 3 Comments

The rabid eco-religionists have had no luck getting white people to adopt their crazy ideas of abandoning fossil fuels. White people will not stop driving cars or using electricity, so the only people left on the planet that can be forced to do the bidding of Al Gore are the poor blacks in under-developed countries. In the name of the environment, the poor blacks on the earth will have all of their kerosene taken away. And if they want to have power? They have to work for it at slave wages.

From CNET’s Green Tech blog here:

The push for energy-efficient lighting in the developed world focuses on replacing wasteful incandescent bulbs with compact fluorescents and LEDs. In developing regions, however, kerosene lanterns still bring dim nighttime light to an estimated 1.6 billion people.

Engineers, start-ups, nonprofit groups, social entrepreneurs, and venture capitalists involved are working on portable flashlights and fixtures powered by solar panels and even bicycle-like pedaling contraptions.

Kerosene lamps cost less than a dollar. How are the world’s poor supposed to afford 3 dollar mercury-filled lightbulbs? Solar powered flashlights? Bicycle contraptions? Oh, I’m sure they will try to make everyone else pay for it somehow in the form of taxes. Why not just give them more kerosene?

And check out this racist photo in the gallery section:


That’s right, Eddy. Pedal your black ass off for the white man, and be sure to smile while you do it. We want to make everyone think your six hours of labor at 25 cents per hour looks fun!

From the accompanying text here:

In Haiti, the company set up a system so that people can rent portable LED lights, which are recharged by plugging into a generator powered by a bicycle-like device, for $2 per month. Kerosene lamp refills, by contrast, cost around $3.50 per month. Six hours of pedaling charges the 12-volt battery. Each 1.5-watt LED light running several hours every night should last a month.

Six hours of pedaling to save $1.50 per month. Maybe we can get an environmentalist to stand behind the black people with a horse whip to make sure they pedal harder.

Julie Pritchett Raped Whole School

by Pat — Categories: Crime, Why Homeschool?, You're Fired! — Tags: , — 3 Comments

This disgusting teacher went on a fury of rape and sodomy and banged every boy in Clay-Chalkville Middle School in Trussville, Alabama. I guess she was real itchy up inside and could only scratch that itch with the boners of 15 year old boys.

Okay, she didn’t rape the whole school. Just the two percent that comprised the entire baseball team.

From the DailyMail here:

A teacher has been accused of having sex with eight members of a school baseball team.

Julie Pritchett began a relationship with a 15-year-old boy in February. The 34-year-old married teacher later approached other members of the team for sex.

The incidents allegedly took place both on school premises and at the boys’ homes while their parents were out.

She was discovered when one of the 15-year-old boys at the school, in the town of Trussville, Alabama, told his parents. They alerted the police.

Pritchett, who taught special education Clay-Chalkville Middle School, has been charged with two counts of sedomy and one count of sexual abuse.

She faces 20 years in jail if convicted of the sex abuse offences.

I wonder if her husband will divorce her now that he found out he was only pinch hitting for the school baseball team.

I guess Julie Pritchett really wanted all the players to score a home run.

Noon Music: Kid Rock- All Summer Long

by Pat — Categories: Music — Tags: — No Comments

This is a great video that really captures the spirit of having fun in the Summer. The lake, a boat, friends and great music are the ingredients for awesome summer memories. Click below to enjoy.

June 23, 2008

So Long, Carlin.

by Pat — Categories: Distractions, Humor — Tags: , — No Comments

George Carlin was an unabashed liberal. I really didn’t like his politics, but I thought his humor and observations about life really contributed to American Culture. I rarely missed one of his TV appearances on HBO or Comedy Central.

I also happen to think that his acting was often overlooked. He was really good as the Dad in Jersey Girl, and who can forget his performance as Rufus in Bill and Ted’s Excellent adventure? He also hosted the Thomas the Train series and did great voice over work in the Cars movie. Sadly, his bum ticker killed him. He will be missed by his fans.

When Keepin’ It Real Goes Wrong

by Pat — Categories: Crime, Humor, Stupid People — Tags: , — 5 Comments

Below is a picture of Cameron Sands, taken when his eyes weren’t covered with pennies. Cameron was a gangster wanna-be who died while trying to “keep it real” in the Dallas Hood.

He kicked in the front door of a home to rob it in the middle of the night. When he was confronted by the homeowner, Cameron tried to pull a gun from the waist band of his jogging pants. The gun went off while he was tugging on it and the bullet ripped into his guts. He dropped the gun, staggered outside and died on the homeowner’s driveway, presumably, while the homeowner drank a cold beer.

From the Chron here with thanks to the RightRant-

A 19-year-old would-be robber from Fort Worth died after accidentally shooting himself during an early-morning break-in, police said.

The body of Cameron Sands was found early Tuesday morning in the driveway of a home in the suburban Dallas town of Grand Prairie.

Sands kicked in the door of the house and then shot himself in the stomach while trying to pull the gun out of his pants, Grand Prairie police said. Sands then dropped the gun and ran from the home, making it as far as the driveway before he collapsed.

The homeowner was not injured, police said.

I hear the homeowner did try to render assistance. He was spotted yelling at the intruder “Get off my driveway before you freakin’ die!”

June 20, 2008

Jennifer Rice Gets New Lawyer

by Pat — Categories: Crime, You're Fired! — No Comments

No surprise to me. Jennifer Rice, who loves to bang ten year old students, was given a new lawyer following the dustup over an attempt by her public defender to declare a state law designating Jennifer a “predatory” child rapist unconstitutional. Now the public defender’s lackeys are taking over the case.

From the NewsTribune here:

A former Tacoma schoolteacher accused of having sex with a student has a new team of lawyers and a new trial date.

Pierce County Superior Court Judge D. Gary Steiner allowed Jennifer Rice’s previous lawyer, public defender Melanie MacDonald, to quit the case Wednesday. MacDonald’s colleagues John Chin and Jane Melby are taking over.

The decision came after Steiner briefly met in his chambers with deputy prosecutor Grant Blinn, MacDonald, Chin and Richard Whitehead, a supervising attorney at the Department of Assigned Counsel.

After allowing the change of counsel, Steiner postponed a hearing on a motion MacDonald made recently, asking that a portion of the law under which Rice is charged be declared unconstitutional.

In the motion, MacDonald contended that the law wrongly curtails the powers of the prosecutors pursuing the case against Rice. She asked the judge to dismiss a special allegation that classifies one of the crimes Rice is charged with as “predatory.”

I think the meeting in Judge’s chambers went something like, “WTF do you think you are doing? Srsly? Unconstitutional? Tell me you have better advice for your client than that. No? You’re fired. NEXT!”

You know this woman is guilty as sin because no one in her family will step up and chip in for a decent lawyer.

UK to Martha Stewart: And STAY OUT!

by Pat — Categories: Distractions — No Comments

Its nice to see that entire countries feel the same way about Martha Stewart that I do.

The other day I was watching Next Food Network star, mostly because my wife wouldn’t let me change the channel, and she was the surprise guest star who critiqued the food and presentation of the wanna-be TV stars, and I couldn’t help but hiss when she walked on screen.

When she asked for a fork to eat a miniature sloppy joe, I vowed to wallop her between the eyes if I ever get to meet her. I mean, other than her awesome ability to market stuff and drive a company, is there anything likable about her?

June 19, 2008

It’s Been a Great Year

by Pat — Categories: BabyBelch, Belch.Com — 3 Comments

Well, the Missus and I have made it through the first year with Cartney. He celebrates the big 1-Year today. His family made the journey down to the Outer Banks to share in the big day, and even as we inflate balloons and frost the cake, the little boy still has no idea what the big hubbub is all about.

And this party is going to be All Elmo, All the Time. So far Elmo is about the only thing that really captures Cartney’s attention. One of the highlights of the Elmo-fest is Cartney’s new Tickle Me Elmo XTREME. It shakes and rolls on the floor with laughter and has secret maneuvers depending on the buttons you press. Below is Elmo getting the hiccups.

Its almost party time so I have to sign off. I’m also slow smoking a Boston Butt on the grill today, and then its time for the beach.

June 16, 2008

Jennifer Rice Says Child Predator Laws Unconstitutional

by Pat — Categories: Cyber, Why Homeschool? — No Comments

Jennifer Rice, the disgusting predatory teacher in jail for banging a ten year old boy, says that the sentencing laws that impose stiffer penalties against child predators should be declared unconstitutional. Her public defender is claiming that the law- get this- hampers the ability of the prosecutor to do his job.

From TheNewsTribune here:

Law on ‘predatory’ sex crimes argued in Tacoma teacher case

A former Tacoma elementary school teacher accused of having sex with a student wants a law under which she’s charged declared unconstitutional, claiming in part that it wrongly curtails the powers of the prosecutors pursuing the case against her. In a motion filed by her attorney last month, Jennifer L. Rice asked a judge to dismiss a special allegation that classifies one of the crimes she’s charged with as “predatory.”

That designation – required when a teacher is accused of certain sex crimes – invokes stiff sentencing requirements: a minimum term of 25 years or the high end of the standard sentencing range, whichever is longer. In Rice’s case, that’s the high end: 26 1/2 years.

Public defender Melanie MacDonald argued that the law should be struck down, saying it improperly usurps the discretion of local prosecutors by requiring them to file a certain charge in a certain situation.

Rice, 32, is charged with 13 crimes. Eleven of the charges allege that she sexually abused a 10-year-old boy whom she taught at McKinley Elementary School last year. The remaining charges stem from alleged sexual behavior with a teenager whose relationship to Rice hasn’t been disclosed.

Prosecutors contend in charging documents that Rice – a married mother – pursued a relationship with the 10-year-old that culminated with her taking him from his home last summer and driving him to a highway rest stop outside Ellensburg, Kittitas, County, where they had sex.

I smell a FAIL coming. If Rice’s public defender gets a law imposing extra penalties declared unconstitutional, she should be hired to get all of the hate crimes legislation overturned. And those stupid laws that impose higher fines for speeding through school zones or construction sites? Get those thrown out too.

Harsher penalties were put in place by society to specifically stop certain people from doing bad things- like banging your ten year old student. I hope her ovaries shrivel to white raisins while she is in jail. According to this previous post, even jail doesn’t stop this freckly sexfiend from trying to get some.

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