I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Stupid People
Idiots, morons, and assorted stupidity
Barney Frank’s Man Boobs
Dec 19th
Retiring gay congressman Barney Frank, widely viewed as one of the architects of the Financial Meltdown, took to the floor of the house wearing a jacket over his tshirt that put his glorious manboobs- or moobs, or mitts, if you will, on display for America’s CSPAN viewers, and wearing a soft cast on his left hand.
One might ask how Frank injured his wrist- and the answer is easy- he got it during his initial instructional presentation for the brand new Jerry Sandusky Showering School for Boys.
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Loading ...Cryin’ Time for the Norkies
Dec 19th
In a political system like North Korea, you are marched out, formed into neat squares in front of cameras, and told to cry for the cameras or else. And the Norkies comply.
Ann Coulter said the crying reminds her of Occupy Wallstreeters. Little known fact: There are no hot chicks in North Korea, and all the manufactured tears can be recycled into weapon’s grade plutonium.
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Don’t Hire Blonde Technicians
Dec 18th
Mikko pointed out this ridiculous photo he stumbled across today. A blonde woman, wearing safety glasses is stooped over an open laptop with a multimeter and a magnifying glass.
If someone wants to purchase this photo with the watermark removed, they can do so here. But I don’t understand what this image would illustrate to anyone. Girls are dumb? PC Repair done wrong?
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Rapper Slim Dunkin Gunned Down in Front on 13 Witnesses- No One Snitches
Dec 17th
What?? A rapper gunned down in a rap music studio? The hell you say! But its true. Rapper Slim Dunkin was in the studio getting ready to lay down some samples of music recorded by real musicians elsewhere, during which time he would recite some badly written angry urban poetry, and one of the people in the studio at the time shot him point blank in the chest after an argument. To keep matters real, the 13 other witnesses present refused to snitch to the cops, so the shooter got away.
From the NYDailyNews here:
Rapper Slim Dunkin has been gunned down in a music studio as he prepared to record a video.
Dunkin, whose real name is Mario Hamilton, was fatally shot in the chest after getting into an argument with another individual.
“Before the video shoot took place, it appears the victim and suspect got involved in a verbal altercation. We don’t know what that altercation was about. The suspect produced a weapon, discharged that handgun one time, striking the victim in the chest,” cops said.
Police have not been able to identify the shooter. He said 13 to 20 people were in the small office-type building at the time of the shooting, which took place around 5:30 p.m. local time.
“Right now we’re just trying to….identify who may have seen what, really just trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together,” he said. “It seems everybody witnessed something very different. We’re just trying to go back and make sense of everything.”
Slim’s favorite word was Nigger and he was a 9-11 truther, rapping that the twin towers fell because of a government inside job. But at least he ‘kept it real’ all the way up to the end, which I hope is a great comfort to his family.
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WaPo’s Elizabeth Flock Bitchslapped for Tying Romney to Democrat KKK
Dec 16th
The KKK was born as the terror arm of the Democrat party. The fact that so many blacks still vote Democrat is a credit to their efforts over the years. Democrats, fearing that the newly freed slaves would flock to the Republican party that freed the slaves, waged a campaign of terror and discrimination to keep blacks from voting. Thus came the white hoods, burning crosses, literacy tests at the polls, and Jim Crow laws- each Democrat attempts to keep blacks from voting Republican.
Elizabeth Flock, having no knowledge of history, nor of the origins of the KKK, tried to tie a slogan of the Klan around the neck of Romney in a blogpost here. Even the liberal Washington Post did a face palm and had to apologize on her behalf.
Editors’ note: This posting contains multiple, serious factual errors that undermine its premise. Mitt Romney is not using “Keep America American,” which was once a KKK slogan, as a catchphrase in stump speeches, as the posting and headline stated. In a YouTube video that the posting said showed Romney using the phrase, Romney actually used a different phrase, “Keep America America.” Further, the video that the blog posting labelled “Mitt Romney 2012 Campaign Ad” is not actually a Romney campaign ad. The video itself states “Mitt Romney does not actually support this ad.” The posting cited accounts of Romney saying “keep America American” at an appearance last week. Independent video from the event shows him saying “Keep America America.” The Post should have contacted the Romney campaign for comment before publication. Finally, we apologize that the posting began by saying “[s]omeone didn’t do his research” when, in fact, we had not done ours.
Flock is not going to be fired, but she should try to pretend not to be a Democrat hack in the future.
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The Only Thing Grosser than a Gay Kid Toucher
Dec 15th
Is an Old Gay Kid Toucher that wants to lather you up in the shower!
Jerry Sandusky has a slick new country lawyer who went on the news to say that old man Sandusky was personally teaching kids how to lather up.
From WHTM here:
The lawyer says he had to stare at his own coach’s manmeat in the shower and doesn’t think that was a problem. Creepy gay coaches are gonna creep on your kids.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Like, Sluts Can Solve Crimes and Stuff?
Dec 11th
This is the best spoof of the Dragon Tattoo Trailer ever. Thanks to Tosh Blog for the link.
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Reason 97 to HomeSchool: Seventh Grader Wont Get Strip Searched and Arrested for Burping
Dec 3rd
A disruptive child was strip searched by 5 adults for possessing 200 dollars in cash and weeks later arrested by police for burping during PE. He was then suspended for the remainder of the school year. So I guess he is either going to go to private school or home school now.
From the DailyMail here:
A 13-year-old was handcuffed and hauled off to a juvenile detention for burping in class, according to a civil rights lawsuit filed against an Albuquerque public school principal, a teacher and a city police officer.
The unnamed seventh grader was arrested last May at Cleveland Middle School after he ‘burped audibly’ in his P.E. class. ‘Criminalising of the burping of a 13-year-old boy serves no governmental purpose,’ the lawsuit said. ‘Burping is not a serious disruption, a threat of danger was never an issue.’
He was suspended for the rest of that school year.
In a separate incident this school year, administrators became suspicious because the boy had $200 in his pocket. He claimed it was because he was going to go shopping after school, but administrators accused him of selling pot to another student.
The boy asked to call his mother; instead, they forced the student to strip down to his underwear while five adults watched. He was not charged with any crime related to that incident either.
Of course perverted teachers are going to strip search a child. Suspicion of drug dealing is indeed a time to get police officers involved. But they didn’t do that. But when a child belches, even as a joke, you don’t call the cops. Idiots. Teachers have less common sense than many of the students they are supposed to be teaching. I hope this lawsuit is wildly successful.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Victimless Crime: Dad Hotboxes His Car With Son Inside
Dec 2nd
JC Monroe’s favorite color is orange. He is wearing the orange jumpsuit because he was “keepin’ it real” and rolling around the hood, smoking blunts with the windows rolled up. When the cops pulled him over, the smoke was so thick in the car they couldn’t even see the child in the back seat.
Thanks to CBS for the story.
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Tramp Gets Epic TrampStamp
Nov 29th
A stupid woman named Rossie Brovent slept around on her tattoo artist boyfriend- and that line right there demonstrates the amazing decision-making ability of this woman. She then got drunk with her boyfriend, signed a waiver, and passed out while she received a tattoo of what she thought was supposed to be a scene out of the Narnia Chronicles. Again, decision-making is not one of Rossie’s character traits. She ended up with this:
Yep, she got a steaming pile of poo with flies swarming it. From the Sun here:
A FURIOUS woman is suing her ex-boyfriend after he tattooed a steaming poo on her back.
Rossie Brovent wants $100,000 in damages from Ryan Fitzjerald.Rossie, from Dayton, Ohio, US, wanted a scene from the Narnia trilogy inked on her back. Instead she was left with a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.
Tattoo artist Ryan turned rogue after discovering that Rossie had cheated on him with his best friend.
Rossie originally tried to have her ex-lover charged with assault but she had signed a consent form agreeing the tattoo design was “at the artist’s discretion”.
She said: “He tricked me by drinking a bottle of cheap wine with me and doing tequila shots before I signed it and got the tattoo. Actually I was passed out for most of the time, and woke up to this horrible image on my back.”
Yeah, like a tattoo artist has a hundred grand lying around. I think Ryan did the nation a favor by properly labeling a container.
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Occupy Toronto Full of Effeminate Failures
Nov 28th
I don’t know which of these bearded sissies are more hilarious- the long haired weepy one or his rump-ranging buddy in the furry cap who is choking back the tears and leaning his head on the long-haired’s shoulder.
You can’t have a real revolution when you’re too limp-wristed to hold a weapon, Nancy. And this failure wanted to change the world by creating a retarded library in a public park? There is a real library right around the corner from where these weeping man-children were camping out.
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Jennifer Fox- Fake Pregnancy Occupy Wall Streeter Tried to Abduct Children
Nov 25th
Jennifer Fox is a crazed liberal nutbag who is suing Seattle police because she supposedly miscarried a baby as a result of being pepper sprayed. Of course that is a lie. She was never pregnant, but her claim has made her a martyr for the idiotic Occupy Movement. Now a police report has emerged that shows he attempted to abduct two young girls a few months ago. She is the reason kids have to be taught “stranger danger.”
From MyNorthWest.Com here:
Occupy Seattle protestor Jennifer Fox has publicly levied a serious claim against the Seattle Police Department; that two officers are responsible for the death of her unborn child. But now, as her claim is called into question and new information about the 19-year-old surfaces, she may come out of the ordeal being perceived as much more than a troubled teen desperate for attention.
Fox was once suspected of trying to lure two young children away from their mother. In a police report dated August 3, 2011, a mother stated a young woman had approached her daughters at Seattle’s Pritchard Beach Park during a swimming lesson. Police sources confirm that woman was Fox.
“(The mother) stated she observed (Fox) approach her children as they made their way from the lake to her car,” read the report. “(The mother) stated she could tell that (Fox) was asking the children questions by the way they were acting.”
When the mother confronted Fox, Fox stated she was a swimming coach in Bellevue and was offering the children lessons.
“Fox stated she had just returned from Greece where she had won every event she had entered in a swim meet,” according to the report. The girls told their mother Fox had asked them to leave with her, and had offered them a ride if they came to Bellevue to swim with her.
“(Fox) stated she had been trained as a swimming coach while on the ‘Special Olympics team.’ (Fox) stated she had 48 gold medals.”
Officers determined Fox “may be suffering from a mental illness or drug addiction,” and allowed her to leave, with the condition that she not return to the park. But, the incident adds to the growing suspicion that Fox was not pregnant during the clash with Seattle police last week that she said resulted in a miscarriage.
What a crazy and ugly woman. And as I’m sure, is fairly typical of everyone who is in the movement. The cops knew something was up with her because of the van she drove:
The Occupy Wall Street movement has no discernable message, but all mobs need a martyr to rally behind. For a few short hours, Jennifer Fox was that martyr. Now that she has been proven to be a liar and a danger to others, the mob will have to go search for another martyr for their cause.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...**SIGH** Black Friday Crowds Are Crazy
Nov 25th
Two quick videos on the Black Friday shopping craze- first, this is how the folks in Taiwan see us, and it is indeed hilarious.
And next is this video by Drudge who shows a melee over a two dollar waffle maker. You’ve never seen an asscrack battle royale? Well, this is it.
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Reason 128 to HomeSchool: Idiot Principal Too Stupid to Understand Sexual Assault
Nov 22nd
A really, really stupid woman named Margaret Ann Haring, Principal of Orange River Elementary School, called the cops on a girl who smooched a boy during PE class, accusing the child of a sexual assault. The cops responded and left without arresting the supposed sex offender.
From the SmokingGun here:
A sheriff’s deputy was dispatched last week to a Florida elementary school after a girl kissed a boy during a physical education class.
School brass actually reported the impromptu buss as a possible sex crime, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office.
The assistant principal of Orange River Elementary School called in the cops after a teacher spotted the smooch Wednesday at the Fort Myers school. In fact, Margaret Ann Haring, 56, initially called child welfare officials, who directed her to contact the sheriff.
The kiss apparently occurred after two girls debated over whom the boy liked more. That’s when one of the girls “went over and kissed” the boy. The redacted sheriff’s report notes that Haring “stated there were no new allegations of sexual abuse as far as she knew.”
Deputies do not appear to be further probing the preteen kiss.
This is what happens with all liberals and their stupid zero tolerances policies. A zero tolerance policy allows a libtard to abdicate all common sense because they are frightened to use the judgement that God game them to discern between right and wrong. I hope Margaret Haring is fired- if she can’t make simple decisions about what is and is not a sex crime, she has no ability to make more critical decisions when it comes to the welfare of children under her care.
Lee County Public Schools have experienced real sexual misconduct in the past- of course, it was on the part of the teachers. Two were busted having sex in classrooms.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Single Mom Skips Town for Two Days; Hires Kid Toucher on Craigslist to Babysit
Nov 22nd
This is a tragic and bizarre story courtesy of Rob Taylor here. A stupid single Mom who needed to get out of town for a couple of nights turned to Craigslist to find her babysitter. As a shock to no one, the lowest bidder for overnight kid watching was a disgusting blinkie-eyed high voiced child molester.
What a bad decision maker this failure of a mother is- can’t keep a man, can’t keep the support of family to watch the kids, and thinks that leaving town for a couple of nights is okay, and picks the worst possible babysitters, using the worst possible online resource.
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OWS Crying Crocodile Tears Over Smashed Laptops Built by Corporations
Nov 21st
Haven’t done a story on retarded OWSers in a while so here goes. After the police de-funkified Zuccotti park, they wrapped up all the piss-covered detritus that was left behind and put it in the dump. Including laptops and a mast used for wireless access. The owner of that equipment is completely butthurt because the sanitation department destroyed stuff he left behind after being arrested for breaking the law.
From Motherboard here:
…Isaac Wilder, head of the Free Network Foundation, late Thursday morning. Wilder, who we first met on Day 3 of the occupation, is an integral part of OWS’ Signal Corps, a working group that had been dedicated to providing free Wi-Fi to demonstrators within Zuccotti. During the raid, all of Wilder’s stuff, including the FNF’s Freedom Tower, a thin, maybe nine-foot-tall pole, loaded on all sides with nondescript routers that had been beaming out wireless access since early on in the occupation, was confiscated not long after he and another 200 or so protestors were hauled away (in garbage trucks) after barricading themselves in the middle of the park.
And so now, Wilder’s looking for his backpack, and his Freedom Tower. And $5000 in cash. This is all the money he has.
After about 30 minutes he sends us a text: “no sign of tower or backpack.” When he finally surfaces after another 30 minutes, descending a staircase into the howling, drabish underpass, the face gives it away.
Wilder hasn’t slept much in the last 36 hours. He looks shelled, haggard. No backpack. No cash. No tower.
Worse, it was as if someone along the way purposefully destroyed all confiscated electronics, a strategic smashing of at least part of the digital record logged by full-on occupiers. “They’ve all been smashed with bats.”
Smelly hippies protesting corporate greed should be smashing their own laptops. And if he’s lost sleep after being arrested, he should join the military to know what its really like to go without sleep and have a true “shelled” feeling. Laptops smashed? Good, now go home and beg Mommy to let you see Santa and ask him for a new laptop. And get a bath while you’re there, you stink.
And pissed because you lost your cash? Stupid hippie, that’s what banks are for.
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Transexual Freakazoid Mutilates People with Fix-a-Flat
Nov 20th
A man who hated his own body so much that he transformed himself into a huge-assed ugly woman has been running around injecting a homemade compound of cement, superglue and fix-a-flat into stupid peoples’ asses to provide a cheap cosmetic alternative to plastic surgery.
From the MailOnline here:
A ‘fake doctor’ suspected of injecting a woman’s bottom with cement, super glue and tyre sealant to give her a more ‘shapely’ rear has been arrested.
Oneal Ron Morris, who by his own picture appears to have undergone the ‘butt-boosting’ procedure himself, is accused of administering the potentially lethal shots to at least one victim. The 30-year-old, who police say is a man but appears to look like a woman, was detained in Florida yesterday for the alleged incident in May 2010.
Miami Gardens Police Department Sgt William Bamford said Morris first met with the as-yet unidentified victim to discuss the procedure. He said: ‘They agreed on the price of $700, which was intended for cosmetic purposes.’ But instead, police say the victim was given a series of injections containing cement, mineral oil and Fix-A-Flat tyre inflator and sealant.
The incision was sealed with super glue. Shortly after the surgery was carried out, she went on to suffer ‘severe complications’.
This man needs serious therapy to address the multiple mental illnesses he is suffering from. Of course liberals don’t think anything is wrong with sex changes or sexualization and fetishistic exploitation of a body part, but this is just simply sick. And trying to inflate stupid peoples’ asses with fix-a-flat is criminal, although immensely hilarious.
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OccupyWallStreet Protesters Obviously Have Scabies and Impetigo
Nov 16th
The protesters in Santa Cruz have scabies, an allergic reaction to mites. Those mites of course come from dirty disgusting clothing, hair and people. And once you get scabies, impetigo is right around the corner.
From Gateway Pundit here:
The arrests have been for being drunk in public, being under the influence of drugs, and possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia, Skalland said.
Police said there have been reports of ringworm and scabies at the camp in recent days.
From the NIH here:
Scabies is found worldwide among people of all groups and ages. It is spread by direct contact with infected people, and less often by sharing clothing or bedding. Sometimes whole families are affected.
The mites that cause scabies burrow into the skin and deposit their eggs, forming a burrow that looks like a pencil mark. Eggs mature in 21 days. The itchy rash is an allergic response to the mite.
Scabies is spread by skin-to-skin contact with another person who has scabies.
And the side effect of this joyous hippie disease? Impetigo. Impetigo is caused by streptococcus (strep) or staphylococcus (staph) bacteria. And those staph infections can lead to kidney failure, so there is hope that these scabies sufferers will die off as they deserve to do.
Want to see another story I did on disgusting Santa Cruz hippies? Click here.
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Maury Test Drives his New Car
Nov 14th
You gotta hand it to Maury Povich- he has made a mint off the drama created by stupid whores who disregard birth control. Here he is driving his latest new car.
He is smiling because it runs on alternative fuel, specifically, the tears of slutty moms.
In this first vid, the father must be hard of hearing. Would have to be. Or would be due to prolonged exposure.
In the second vid, the kid would need to be the one hard of hearing as the adults in its life are way too loud.
Two things in life are guaranteed to make me crack up laughing: the guilty expression on a leashed dog’s face at it strains to poop, and the anguished tears of a mom too slutty to know who her baby daddy is.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Occupy WallStreet Now Chanting: Bring Out Your Dead!
Nov 11th
The corpses are piling up at Occupy Wall Street Tent Cities across this great land. Most of the deaths are self-inflicted- two by drug overdose in Portland, one by a failed, albeit hilarious, attempt to catch a bullet with his mouth in Vermont, one gunned down in Oakland, and now one dead in Salt Lake City. A 53 year old leftist was found dead in a filthy tent in New Orleans too, and he had been dead for two days before the smell rose to a noticeable level among the trash and detritus of the occupiers there.
The occupy movements won’t stop, however, until the mobs that are assembled are finally able to get their human sacrifice at the hands of the police or National Guard. Once that lulzy dream of a violent confrontation with the man is attained, then the camps will come down.
Personally, I hope a thousand more Occupiers die. I believe strongly in the survival of the species, and nothing strengthens the genepool like killing off the weak and stupid.
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