I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for December, 2009
2 PM Year’s End Music: Lisa Hannigan – “Lille”
Dec 31st
I usually don’t like chicks whisper-singing at me, but I like this video much more for the story in the Pop-up books. Check it out:
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ...Zombie Plushie
Dec 31st
I got some new cubicle toys for Christmas. I especially adore my bloodstained zombie plushie that has detachable head and limbs! You can get one of your own at Think Geek, or be like the dorks in this video and get your own Zombie Plushie Army!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...GSM Encryption for Cellphones Cracked
Dec 31st
An encryption expert demonstrated the ease of cracking the GSM algorithm at the Chaos Communication Congress in Berlin. This means that anyone can now intercept your cellular signals and decrypt them.
From the Financialtimes here:
Computer hackers this week said they had cracked and published the secret code that protects 80 per cent of the world’s mobile phones. The move will leave more than 3bn people vulnerable to having their calls intercepted, and could force mobile phone operators into a costly upgrade of their networks.
Karsten Nohl, a German encryption expert, said he had organised the hack to demonstrate the weaknesses of the security measures protecting the global system for mobile communication (GSM) and to push mobile operators to improve their systems.
“This vulnerability should have been fixed 15 years ago. People should now try it out at home and see how vulnerable their calls are.”
The GSM Association, the industry body for mobile phone operators, which devised the A5/1 encryption algorithm 21 years ago, said they were monitoring the situation closely.
3G wireless algorithms are encrypted differently and are not vulnerable to the hack.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...BelchSpeak’s Best of 2009
Dec 31st
Its that time of year again where I hyperlink back to the best posts of the past year. If you are new to the blog, this should give you a great idea of the content here, or if you are a regular reader, you can relive a blast from the past.
Personal Highlights
Got a new job. Visited Petra. Best shot on Golden Tee. Scorpion Lollipops for Cartney! Visited the Alamo. Zombie Kittens. Awesome time at the beach. Cartney shook the Mars rover. Uh.. Shreveport. Black Hat at Vegas! Natural Bridge Weekend. The Loser Cruiser. The Ren Fair. GFIRST in Atlanta. Went to the River with friends. In and out of St. Louis several times. Paul. Downtown Disney. Virginia Safari Park. Ugh. Detroit. Several trips to Hampton Roads. Epic Snowstorm. The Ferris Wheel.
Biggest Idiots of 2009
Those Nigerians promised him money! Chimp owners! Rodney King gets a free house! Raccoon rapists. Principals who rape their students. Googley-Eyed blind guys who won’t wear dark glasses! In Islam, bitchslapping is okay! Cynthia McKinney. Zero Tolerance policies. Larpers! ACORN. Hoarders. James Ray and his followers.
Worst Way to Die
Swimmer’s Ear. Devoured by crocodile on the way to school. Stuffed in a box by the inventor of Earth Day. Stranded on islands by the Chinese. Being put down like a sick cat by your doctor. Being cuddled by Miriam Sakewitz. Autoerotic asphyxiation. Gunned down at church. Eaten by a pack of wild dogs. Da Bears! James Ray’s Sweat Lodge. Jumping from a cell tower into high voltage lines.
Eco-Worshipping Kooks of the Year
Pee on your fingers to charge your iPod. Woman faces off with bear. This guy says 2ply asswipe is worse than driving hummers because trees don’t grow back. The real problem is burping worms. Eeeew. Reusable tampons. Drinking old bath water. Recycling dildos. The wind-up vibrator. Copenhagen was a massive failure.
Best Cyber Stories
100 Million Credit Cards is the largest cyber crime evah! The FAA lost lots of identities. Hottest t-shirt on the net has 3 wolves on it. Think the IRS shreds your private information? Think again. Lori Drew walks. Biggest cyber threats are thumbdrives and rogue AV. Virginia Prescription DB hacked. World’s dumbest hacker fakes suicide and aspergers; avoids extradition for a year. 3FN shut down by FTC. Hackers take down Global Warming.
Obama Mania!
This woman getting her car repossessed thinks Obama will come to the rescue. Julio praises Obama because he’s Jesus. Obama just wanted to say hello to the island of Manhattan. Obama Jesus as fine art. The Turkish media goes blackface out of respect for Obama. Obama brokers the peace with a beer conference. Obama sunday school songs. WTF Peace Prize! Olympic committee is a bunch of racists! The rise of the Slacker.
Just the Coolest of 2009
This kid really loves hors. A record breaking accident! A 7-11 robbed by a Klingon Warrior. Awesome Frank Abignale speech. Why haven’t you read World War Z? Ever get a tapeworm? This is what that’s like. Oprah flushed her last egg. Total Eclipse of the Heart Remix! Cherubs really gotta pee. Mady Breaks up Mom and Dad’s Marriage. The duster huffer on A&E intervention. Head in the sand at CSI.
Wow, what a memorable year! Tons of travel for me, Obama turning out to be a huge dud on the hope and change and lots of idiots offing themselves. 2009, you have been one rascally year and you will be missed!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Is This Where You Get Da Grillz Yo?
Dec 30th
Thug teeth, originally uploaded by BelchSpeak.
Now I know where this guy with his American Eagle gear and his thuglife tattoo gets his retainer tightened.
Cuz the streetz be hard! Thanks to Mary for the hilarious photo!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...How Can You Be Sacrilegious in a Fake Religious Ceremony?
Dec 30th
More details have emerged in the James Arthur Ray sweat lodge deaths. It seems that when people tried to open a tent flap to get some fresh air in while other sweat lodge dupes were dropping dead, Ray made them stop declaring that to do so was “sacrilegious.” Because dolphins circling a yin-yang symbol on a teepee is serious bidness!
From AZCentral here:
As followers around him staggered and collapsed inside a hot sweat lodge near Sedona, motivational guru James Arthur Ray seemed to ignore the unfolding medical crisis, according to statements given to investigators.
Ray repeatedly discussed death during the October ceremony, telling participants they would feel like they were dying, according to officials’ reports released Monday. When a man tried to open the tent for air, Ray reportedly called him “sacrilegious.”
In the end, three of the more than 50 participants in the sweat-lodge ceremony did die. Statements from many people who survived the ceremony depict Ray as indifferent to the suffering around him, and more than one person told authorities that similar medical problems had occurred at past retreats.
Two past participants contacted detectives to tell them about a 2005 retreat when one man was taken to the hospital in an ambulance following the sweat-lodge exercise, and Ted Mercer, who has constructed the sweat lodge for three years, told investigators that people exited “in medical distress” every year he was involved.
James Ray smashes together every eastern philosophy and Indian ritual he can to create a fake religious experience for godless leftists. His doctrine states that positive thinking brings spiritual wealth. How can you possibly be sacrilegious with a fake religion? So maybe if James Shore, Kirby Brown and Liz Neuman had taken this fake religion more seriously they would still be alive?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Look Who’s Running Security
Dec 30th
A fat security guard with a bad wig got “transferred” for sleeping on the job. Her photo was taken while an inmate flashed a peace sign.
From FoxNews here:
A city correction officer took a cell phone photo of his co-worker sleeping on duty, leading to disciplinary action against both of them.
The photo shows guard Nadja Green, in uniform, leaning back in a chair with her arms folded on her chest, eyes closed and mouth open. An inmate is standing next to her, making a “peace” sign.
The photo, published in the New York Post on Tuesday, came to the attention of Department of Correction officials last week, said Deputy Commissioner Stephen Morello. Once it was authenticated, Green was transferred from her post at the Rikers Island infirmary and removed from supervising inmates.
Mike Skelly, spokesman for the Correction Officers’ Benevolent Association, said the union wouldn’t rush to condemn Green, because it was unclear what the situation was when the photo was taken.
And this is why you can’t have unions running your security. This lazy woman should have been fired, not transferred.
I see this sort of thing way too often: lazy overweight security guards not doing what they are supposed to be doing. And I’m talking about the guards that work the front line of security at many of our country’s federal installations too. They put down their sandwiches long enough to show you where you sign in to the visitor’s guest book, but if there were a real incident, they couldn’t run across the lobby much less run a hundred yards to catch a criminal. I see TSA agents all the time texting or browsing the web on mobile phones when they are supposed to be watching exits or alert for terrorists.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Where I Was on Y2K
Dec 30th
I was working at a small startup called RipTech and we were moving from a professional services offering to a completely new idea of Managed Security, where we would house all of the firewall and IDS logs from businesses and aggregate the logs and report back to them on probable security incidents. We called the service “eSentry”
As part of this new effort, we created a Security Operations Center, which was really a large room with some servers situated over a furniture store in Alexandria, Virginia. We were growing pretty quickly and had a 24/7 presence, and usually we stuck a single junior guy in the room for the overnight. We didn’t get a whole lot of alerts and typically the overnight was spent watching movies or surfing the web while trying to fight sleep. But it was the holidays and I drew the short straw and had to stay in the SOC while the world was supposedly plunging into chaos due to Y2K clock issues.
The night passed with no glitches or problems despite all of the media hype, planes kept flying and no one had to have a riot in the grocery store to get food.
F-Secure looks back on the Y2K hype and credits the efforts of programmers for heading off the major glitches and reminds everyone that some of the dumber workarounds are going to cause problems in a day or so.
Some Y2K fixes in 1999 were real quick-hacks. For example a logic like this could have been applied: IF YEAR < 10 THEN YEAR = YEAR + 2000 ELSE YEAR = YEAR + 1900. Hacks like that would create problems now, in 2009 and 2010.
Where were YOU on Y2K?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Best Drink for Washing Down BRAINS!!!
Dec 30th
Saw this Zombie Koo-Aid Guy on Robot Chicken and I LOL’ed.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Brian Krebs Leaves Washington Post
Dec 29th
My favorite cyber-security blogger has left his position at the prestigious Washington Post to take up a new career and has launched his own blog site, KrebsOnSecurity.com here.
Be sure to bookmark it and subscribe to the RSS feeds. And stop by and wish Brian luck!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Gay Divorce is Friggin Hilarious When Kids Involved
Dec 29th
Under Virginia Law, gay marriage cannot be recognized within the state. If you collect any benefits from a state that allows gay marriage, you cease to collect those benefits in Virginia. We Virginians voted that way. So when a former gay parent, who is recognized as a “sole parent” under Virginia Law refuses to play nice during a custody dispute with her ex-partner, Vermont courts rule that the birth mother now must send the child away indefinitely to Vermont.
From LibertyCouncil here:
The Vermont trial court recently ordered that Lisa must send her own daughter to live with Janet, despite the fact that the same court has repeatedly found Lisa to be a fit parent of Isabella. The Vermont court has ordered the transfer of custody to take place by January 1, 2010.
Unrefuted testimony has shown that for the last five years, Janet has neither attempted to phone nor write Isabella. She has never sent Isabella a card of any kind for any occasion. Janet has refused to attend Isabella’s Christmas plays, because she does not want to be around a Christian environment. She has also said that it is not in Isabella’s best interest to be raised in a Christian home.
According to this LA Times article, the kid must go to the non-birth woman. If you ask me, the kid should go to the father.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Don’t Get Between a Boy and His Tanks
Dec 28th
On the way home today from my parents’ house we stopped at the Virginia War Museum in Newport News, Virginia. Cartney once again proves to be all boy by proving how cool he thinks it is to be close up to these awesome war machines.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Erin Marcove Does the World a Favor By Removing Herself From it
Dec 27th
Erin Marcove never made a correct decision in her whole life, except for the one that ended her otherwise miserable string of bad decisions. That final decision was to kill herself. It was probably for the best. She was a 44 year old grandmother of a three year old boy. She deliberately fed this boy cookies made from marijuana butter that she cooked up on her own stovetop using supposed “medical marijuana.”
When she groggily came to the next morning at her customary noonish time, she checked to find out why her neglected three year old grandson wasn’t already awake trying to sustain itself on catfood or any other stale cheetos he could scavenge. Instead she found the toddler passed out from a marijuana overdose and she refused to take him to the hospital. While under investigation for child endangerment, she finally made the right call and “an hero’d” herself. Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish.
From the Examiner here with much thanks to Red Alerts:
On the evening of Dec. 4, Erin Marcove made cookies for her 3-year-old grandson made with her favorite ingredient…Marijuana.
Marcove told police that she gave the boy the cookies which she made with “cannabis butter” around 10:30 p.m. The next day, she could not wake him.
The grandmother told investigators that when she awoke at noon, her grandson “was still sleeping, which was odd and she couldn’t get him to wake him up”
Hours later, Marcove placed the toddler in a cold shower, after he remained unresponsive. She then called the boy’s mother, but refused to call an ambulance for the child.
Once the boy’s mother arrived, she called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital. He required treatment in an intensive care unit, and tested positive for THC, the active ingredient in marijuana.
According to an arrest affidavit, police found a green jar of “suspected cannabis butter” in the refrigerator.
While still under investigation for the incident, Marcove committed suicide on Dec. 12.
Marcove was the Colorado president of “bitches to legalize marijuana” or some similar acronym. She claimed to have use pot medicinally her whole life for back problems, which is unusual because her state didn’t recognize the medicinal usage of the drug until recently. Which means she was using it illegally for years and was working to force society to allow her to continue to be a pot addict without reprisals or criminal action against her. Nice that it all worked out for her in the end.
No one can confuse a greenish foul smelling gel with butter. This bitch of a failure poisoned her own grandchild because she was a pot addict. As Rob Taylor like to call it, this victimless crime claims one more victim.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(5 votes, average: 3.00 out of 6) Loading ...This is NOT Why He’s The Punisher
Dec 27th
This looks like its a toy that is part Transformer and part Marvel superhero. Being able to shoot torpedo’s from your junk is one of those rare superpowers that they just don’t talk about.
see more Epic Fails
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Cousin Admiration
Dec 27th
Had a great time at my brother’s house today where I essentially snacked all day. Cartney had gone missing for about an hour and when I went to find him he was firmly planted in a chair watching his cousin play video games. The grins come from watching his cousin wreck his virtual motorcycle with what should be epic life threatening injuries to the virtual cyclist. “He WRECKED!” Cartney would shout while he laughed and pointed.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...THATS How You Get Pink Eye
Dec 26th
This sick pervert is being sought by the police for sexual assault. Buttsniffing the stockboys. Really?
You know how sex offenders aren’t allowed near schools? This this one won’t be able to go to grocery stores?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Hollywood’s New Years Resolution to Produce Original Material Already Broken
Dec 26th
I guess its nice to see Will Smith making his kid earn his keep.
The Karate Kid (2010) Trailer – Click here for more free videos
And certainly Jackie Chan will be more believable than the late, great, Pat Morita, but this is more proof there are zero new ideas in Hollywood.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Man Horrified to be Landing in Detroit Set Self Ablaze
Dec 26th
Having been to Detroit, I know how Abdul Farouk Abdulmutallab feels. Check out what Steve Crowder found when he visited the motor city.
Shocker a Muslim is going to try to blow up another airplane. We need to force everyone to eat one slice of bacon before they fly. That will be much less painful than the stripsearches the TSA will implement over this.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Dog Gone
Dec 26th
The backyard of my Mom’s neighbors. They had a nice dog until it fell into the pool and drowned. They buried it next to it’s dog house. You can see the gravestone and the fresh bouquet of flowers. Not pictured: coupons for swimming lessons for Fido.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Merry Christmas!
Dec 25th
Hearth, originally uploaded by BelchSpeak.
Merry Christmas to all from BelchSpeak! We are stuffed over here on roast, Yorkshire pudding, gravy and potatoes, and I think we drank our fill of eggnog. Tomorrow’s the big day for the boy and he’s excited about Santa. Tomorrow’s forecast is for some freezing rain, which will look lovely atop all this snow still lying around.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
