I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for August, 2011
Muslims Hilariously Butthurt Over Kids’ Coloring Book
Aug 31st
A coloring book shows a member of the Seals sending Osama Bin Laden to his grave while he hides behind an ugly woman. And of course the Mulsim world is expected to break out into rage over this. In other news, the sky is still blue.
From the Guardian here:
A colouring book about the events of 9/11, complete with pictures of the burning twin towers and the execution of a cowering Osama bin Laden for children to fill in, has provoked outrage among American Muslims.
We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids’ Book of Freedom has just been released by the Missouri-based publisher Really Big Coloring Books, which says it is “designed to be a tool that parents can use to help teach children about the facts surrounding 9/11″. Showing scenes from 9/11 for children to colour in and telling the story of the attacks and the subsequent hunt for Osama bin Laden, “the book was created with honesty, integrity, reverence, respect and does not shy away from the truth”, according to its publisher, which says that it has sold out of its first print run of 10,000 copies.
The Council on American-Islamic Relations has condemned the book as “disgusting”, saying that it characterises all Muslims as linked to extremism, terrorism and radicalism, which could lead children reading the book to believe that all Muslims are responsible for 9/11, and that followers of the Islamic faith are their enemies.
Heh. Muslims are so outraged that they immediately issued a fatwa condemning all the kids who color the book to death. So outraged they just want to strap on a suicide belt and blow up the nearest fruit stand.
Too bad they are all sold out. I’d buy a couple of dozen and donate them to a local madrassa just for the lulz.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6)
Loading ...Time to Kick the Birdies Out of the Nest
Aug 31st
Today was Cartney’s first day of Preschool. As expected, Mom was more nervous than the boy and there were some tears shed. But he made it back okay, didn’t beat anyone up, and is even welcome back on a regular basis next week.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Moonbat Washed Up Actress Daryl Hannah Arrested at White House
Aug 30th
We have seen Daryl Hannah climb trees in LA to support illegal immigrant squatters. She’s has gone a’whalin’ on the high seas because she hates the Japanese. Now she is in Washington DC protesting an oil pipeline that will bring crude to the only refineries in North America.
I bet she didn’t walk to Washington DC. I also bet she drives to her awful plastic surgeon to give her those gigantic fish lips of hers. Too bad her plastic surgeon can’t sew on her severed finger that she keeps in an old pickle jar by her bed.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
MLK Memorial Was Made in China- No Qualified Black Sculptors
Aug 30th
Check out Ol’ MLK in the imported granite sculpture below, with his “Keepin’ It Real” pose. He looks like he just won a rap battle and is getting to drop the microphone. According to the Chinese manufacturer, who specialized in sculpting Chairman Mao Tse Tung, there are no such things as black sculptors who had the mad skills to chip away some white rock to reveal the majesty of Dr. King.
From the National Post here:
The chunks of granite used to sculpt the new Martin Luther King Jr. memorial had to be imported from Changsha. And the whole thing was designed by a Chinese architect, Lei Yixin — previously noted for statues of that great champion of human rights, Mao Zedong.
Chinese workers, too, were brought in to put it all together as the U.S. lacked people capable of doing this.
Yup, made in China strikes again and at the heart of the U.S. capital. The new sculpture has been installed in between monuments to Jefferson and Lincoln in Washington.
Some observers have discerned an Asiatic cast to Dr. King’s features. Others find his stance — stern, with folded arms — reminiscent of another Communist icon, Joe Stalin.
Surely, having a black sculptor of a black civil rights icon — working on ground once toiled by black slaves, on the National Mall, designed and surveyed with the help of a black mathematician and astronomer Benjamin Banneker — would have added to the King memorial’s symbolic power.
So, yes, it stings when, centuries later, creators of the King memorial say they couldn’t find a qualified black sculptor.
The Chinese think that all blacks play football or rap. They don’t sculpt. And that white liberals in this country think its just peachy that the Chinese are designing our National monuments and not including American artists or architects, black or white, in the creation of these memorials, is laughably sad.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Scientists Have No Duh Moment: The Sun Controls the Earth’s Weather
Aug 30th
Scientists in Switzerland have stumbled on a new and totally obvious cause to any climate change that happens on planet earth, and its not CO2 emissions. Its the sun. Just like everyone has been saying for years.
From the telegraph here:
The science is now all-but-settled on global warming, convincing new evidence demonstrates, but Al Gore, the IPCC and other global warming doomsayers won’t be celebrating. The new findings point to cosmic rays and the sun — not human activities — as the dominant controller of climate on Earth.
The research, published with little fanfare this week in the prestigious journal Nature, comes from über-prestigious CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, one of the world’s largest centres for scientific research involving 60 countries and 8,000 scientists at more than 600 universities and national laboratories. CERN is the organization that invented the World Wide Web, that built the multi-billion dollar Large Hadron Collider, and that has now built a pristinely clean stainless steel chamber that precisely recreated the Earth’s atmosphere.
In this chamber, 63 CERN scientists from 17 European and American institutes have done what global warming doomsayers said could never be done — demonstrate that cosmic rays promote the formation of molecules that in Earth’s atmosphere can grow and seed clouds, the cloudier and thus cooler it will be. Because the sun’s magnetic field controls how many cosmic rays reach Earth’s atmosphere (the stronger the sun’s magnetic field, the more it shields Earth from incoming cosmic rays from space), the sun determines the temperature on Earth.
So will leftists now admit that the debate is really settled? Of course not, because to them, the beliefs that mankind is evil and is killing the planet is a religious tenet. Saying it is the sun that causes global warming is tantamount to heresy.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Republican Puerto Rican Resigns Over FagFinder Photo
Aug 29th
Liberal newspapers are making sure everyone knows that Puerto Rican lawmaker Senator Roberto Arango is a Republican Rump Ranger. They put “GOP” and “Republican” in the headlines. He had voted against gay marriage and then was busted posting a photo of his cherry gaping ass onto an Apple approved “FagFinder” app.
From the Wisconsin Gazette:
Anti-gay GOP official resigns after posting bare-assed pix on gay hook-up site
A Puerto Rico lawmaker has resigned following reports that he posted photos of himself bending over and showing his bare ass on an iPhone application for gay hookups. Sen. Roberto Arango, an anti-gay Republican who represents the capital of San Juan for the island’s governing party, presented his letter of resignation after the photos on Grindr were leaked to the press.
Arango voted in favor of Resolution 99, a proposal to block any attempt to permit same-sex marriages in the U.S. territory. He also helped block a measure to ban sexual discrimination in the workplace and opposed adoption rights for gays.
During a recent interview with WAPA TV in Puerto Rico, the senator said he has taken pictures of himself with a cell phone to document his recent weight loss.
“I really don’t remember having taken those pictures of myself, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t take them,” he told the station. “I really don’t remember.”
Sounds like he is trying out the Democrat party’s “Deny Everything” response to a sex scandal. Hey, he was just doing a reach around the aisle to the gay Democrat party. But like many people who love sodomy, he bleaches his taint. He voted against the gay marriage law because no one wants to marry an ass farmer. Party? Sure. But marriage takes too many poofs out of the dating pool.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Son of Racist Senator Says Civil Rights Bigots Were No More Harmful than Global Warming Skeptics
Aug 29th
Al Gore has opened his mouth again, and as usual, he is calling people racists, and equating bigotry, where people turned dogs and firehouses on black people to telling a friend that “Nah, that Global Warming stuff is probably bullshit.”
Al Gore’s Dad attempted to block the implementation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Democrats founded the racist domestic terror organization of the KKK to scare blacks away from voting Republican, and that has worked pretty well. Now Al Gore is saying that if you tell someone that Global Warming is BS then you have just turned a firehose on a black baby or something.
From the DailyCaller here:
One day climate change skeptics will be seen in the same negative light as racists, or so says former Vice President Al Gore.
“I remember, again going back to my early years in the South, when the Civil Rights revolution was unfolding, there were two things that really made an impression on me,” Gore said. “My generation watched Bull Connor turning the hose on civil rights demonstrators (Bull Connor was a Democrat) and we went, ‘Whoa! How gross and evil is that?’ My generation asked old people, ‘Explain to me again why it is okay to discriminate against people because their skin color is different?’ And when they couldn’t really answer that question with integrity, the change really started.”
The former vice president recalled how society succeeded in marginalizing racists and said climate change skeptics must be defeated in the same manner.
The same scientists that said we were all doomed this past weekend because of a giant Thunderstorm are the same dolts that are screaming about Global Warming. Think about the hysteria that so many people felt about Hurricane Irene. Fear was ginned up and fanned to the point that many Americans denuded the grocery stores of bottled water and other goods. I have seen thunderstorms roll through my neighborhood any summer evening with more power than Irene possessed. So Al Gore can kiss my ass if he expects me to blindly believe anything that anyone in the field of meteorology says- they deal with actual live data and get it wrong! Much less would I believe scientists in leftist universities who push the proposal that we eliminate energy to combat a problem that doesn’t seem to exist- using data that they have to make up because our hard scientific data can only be measured in the past 120 years accurately. And the Global Warming Scientists have been caught faking their data in the past.
No, I’m a skeptic, and proud of it.
Al Gore’s Dad applauded Bull Connor’s actions, and Al Gore probably tells racist jokes while he snorts coke off the asses of hotel massage therapists.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Suburban Couple’s Terrified Experience with Hurricane Irene
Aug 29th
They need your prayers.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Irene is a Complete Joke- Streakers on the Weather Channel
Aug 27th
Irene can’t even come up with enough gusty weather to keep streakers at the Virginia Beach Oceanfront from flashing the idiot newsmen who are broadcasting live from the storm. And if you have an aversion to wiener, don’t hit the play button.
Thanks to Bill Burr!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Keep It Simple
Aug 26th
This is a pretty nifty and somehow non-obvious way to store your deck furniture to keep it from blowing away during violent storms. This is from the Hilton Hotel in Ocean City, Maryland.
Never mind that the storm will be the biggest bust on the east coast since Lebron James.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Steve Jobs Has the iCancer
Aug 26th
Someone forgot to plug Steve Jobs into the wall outlet.
The photo above was from TMZ taken two days after the Apple CEO resigned.
So maybe cellphones really do cause brain cancer?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Oh Boy a Clown Is Suing Me!
Aug 25th
I love a good Internet LOLsuit.
From Steve Triola, an asshat who paints his face so the children he plays with can’t pick him out in a lineup:
Dr. Jones
I talked to my lawyer today and he is going forward with my case. He has called his contacts in the DC area, we think your operating somewhere out there. Also have contacted a lawyer that specializes in Internet crimes. I see you will not let me respond to your comments on your website. So I’m telling you now I want that video of me off of your site now! My lawyer is also going to be sending you an e-mail telling you to take it off. You have cost me thousands of dollars and destroyed my reputation. Before you slandered me I had worked on such shows in Hollywood as “Seventh Heaven and Ally McBeal. I did a pilot called channel surfing. Was on the dating game, the gong show and had small parts in several independent films. The LA times ran a story on me. The Long Beach Press Telegram and several other newspapers around the LA area. I have performed for several huge corporations. Been to hundred of children’s parties. I was one of the most popular clowns in the LA area. But that all changed when you made the claim that the clown in Illinois had moved to LA. to be near kids and now that you with your genius detective work have found him, he will have to change his name. You never even bothered to check and see if I was the same person that was arrested in Illinois.
You ran an article about Downtown The Clown being arrested for having position of child pornography then put a video of me under the article. Not only that! You said, “I was a douche bag and was annoying kids. Those kids at that party loved me. That’s why their parents put the video on YouTube. Did you even watch the video. Did you do any kind of back ground check on me what so ever. You knew nothing about me. What kind of education I have, what schools I attended, where I grew up. Where I had performed, who I had performed for. If I had any kind of criminal record at all. You did none of that, yet you decided to attack me. To destroy everything I worked so hard for over the last sixteen years. Then you call the home of those children a ghetto. Just because their African American and don’t have the kind of money you have. What is wrong with you?
You can hide and hide all you want. But you will be found and brought to justice. A jury is going to love this case. You picked the wrong person to mess with. This is not going away. You will be hearing from my attorney, I can promise you that.
Stephen Triola
Wow, that email brightened my evening. Lets see if there are any other videos of Downtown the Clown who is threatening to sue me for falsely outing him as a child molesting clown.
Here is one that I am also is pretty sure is not Downtown the Clown who was convicted of looking at Child Porn, but they are indeed clowns just like Stevie “McSuing Clown-o-lator” Triola, so everyone should use caution when putting kids around evil clowns with big teeth and stupid noses.
Oh no, is that going to get me sued again? Clowns. Its what’s cancelling Ally McBeal.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
President Bush’s Killer Hurricane Ray Gun
Aug 25th
Guess who has reloaded his hurricane gun and is pointing it at black folk again? Bush, according to Kanye West. President Bush is at it again, damn his scurvy heart, Yaaaarrrr! Don’t know why I just went pirate there, but I’m better now. But there is a hurricane a’comin’ and it has its angry, vacant, gaping, seepy eye aimed toward Baltimore and Harlem. Gosh, I hope Ray Nagin can save everyone this time around!
So far they have evacuated the Outer Banks, Virginia Beach and other areas. I know three days isn’t much time for a warning, but I really hope we don’t have to see anyone pushing anyone through flooded streets on the news again. So Baltimore, Newport News and Harlem, please head toward the mountains, okay?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Veteran FourSquare Badge
Aug 24th
I got the Ten-Hundred badge yesterday for going over my 1000th checkin on Foursquare. It came with a coupon to get a t-shirt, and well, of course I got that shirt too. Hey FourSquare, get more and better tshirts, okay?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Got the T-Shirt
Aug 24th
I picked this up over at Teefury.com today. I think it will go great with this one I picked up a couple of months ago.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Helpful Advice for Vegan Bill Clinton
Aug 24th
Bill Clinton announced that he is now a strict vegan, mostly not because it causes weight loss, but because his cholesterol is around 780, which would be great for a credit score, but not for a cholesterol level. So he went veg. So as a service to the newly veganized and girlishly slim former President, womanizer and convicted perjurer, here is some helpful advice from his friends at the Animal Liberation Front, a home grown terrorist outfit, known for bombing animal testing labs and for terrorizing scientists:
And lulz, by the way how the banner shows terrorists in ski masks cuddling bunnies!
Is Oral Sex Vegan?
Oral sex is vegan even though it may involve putting flesh in your mouth, as it shouldn’t really involve any cruelty or exploitation, and said flesh is taken out again eventually and returned to its rightful owner. If you decide to swallow any bodily liquids, well, once again, no one else has suffered to provide them, so it’s up to you… I doubt if anyone has done very much research on the health aspects of this, though.
After all, as Bill Clinton told all of today’s youth, eatin’ ain’t cheatin’, amIright? And its not likely that Ol’ Billy will be dating any vegan interns anyways, and I recall he liked them portly. But I think its a safe bet that Bill will be staying away from Hillary’s snatch. It looks like a petrified Pastrami on Rye with all those flaps and knotty bumps anyways.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Today’s Tragic Earthquake
Aug 23rd
The earthquake that happened this afternoon, centered in Virginia, proved almost completely without injury or death. Well, except for a group of travelling Haitians who had constructed a mud hut behind a Safeway grocery store in Culpepper, Virginia.
The earthquake wiped out their wholly organic structure, killing three of the seven occupants, including a child of 8. Old mud, clay and other detritus used to build their primitive structure had collapsed and killed the trio.
Inside the Safeway store, several dozen yards away, a wine bottle had toppled off the shelf, shattering, causing a cleanup on ailse seven. More than one 30-something housewife had expressed their deepest sadness at the loss of a wonderful bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
Meanwhile, the county morgue had come to retrieve the dead Haitians and offer county and state assistance to the survivors. The Haitian survivors, however, being too proud to accept help, chose instead to live in the encampment until they eventually cause an outbreak of cholera, after which they will die, in the tradition of their native customs.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Crazy Ass Dog
Aug 22nd
Okay, up front, I’m not much of a dog person. I am the type of dude who will take your yippy ass dog and ditch it across town, and if it comes back, I’ll see if it can play canine Houdini by testing its ability to escape a chained burlap sack from the bottom of a rushing river. I think this picture below was posted by someone of a kindred spirit.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Joe Biden Loves Aborting Chinese Baby Girls
Aug 22nd
Joe Biden is an idiotic man. While in China he pandered to the politicians there and said, “Sure, aborting all those kids are great for your economy. Of course I understand your One Child per Family Policy!”
From the WeeklyStandard here:
Good news, reproductive rights advocates and neo-Malthusian environmentalists! Vice President Joe Biden has no problem with the government forcibly sterilizing people and compelling abortions. From his remarks at Sichuan University in Chengdu, China yesterday discussing the U.S. debt:
What we ended up doing is setting up a system whereby we did cut by $1.2 trillion upfront, the deficit over the next 10 years. And we set up a group of senators that have to come up with another $1.2 to $1.7 trillion in savings or automatically there will be cuts that go into effect in January to get those savings. So the savings will be accomplished. But as I was talking to some of your leaders, you share a similar concern here in China. You have no safety net. Your policy has been one which I fully understand — I’m not second-guessing — of one child per family. The result being that you’re in a position where one wage earner will be taking care of four retired people. Not sustainable.
So hopefully we can act in a way on a problem that’s much less severe than yours, and maybe we can learn together from how we can do that.
It’s perfectly understandable that you let the government tell you how many children you could have if that helps get the debt under control, right? Republicans better get together and compromise on the president’s grand bargain sometime soon, or else.
Actually Biden does have a pretty prescient point. The Chinese are indeed making it so only one worker is supporting the maintenance of four retirees, and maybe its worse than that because there are fewer women that are allowed to be born.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Awesome Zombie Wedding Photos
Aug 22nd
The part about weddings I hate the most is the photography session that seems to last a couple of hours between the couple saying “I do” and when you can start to eat at the reception. Finally, here’s a couple that took good advantage of those hours to do something memorable and fun. Below is just a single photo of the epic photo album. Click here to see the rest. Also, notice how the groom fights the zombie without spilling his wine? Skills, baby. Skills.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
