I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for December, 2010
BelchSpeak’s Best of 2010
Dec 31st
As we ring in the New Year, I like to take a look back and the old and busted year to some highlights. First up are some stats on what was popular on the blog over the past year.
Top stories of 2010:
Byron Sonne bought shoebomber explosives on the Internet and is now still in jail waiting a trial. I write a blog post and fat lesbian cutter emo chicks wither and die. Haiti. Stinkbugs! ZOMG oil spill. The gay soldier who is a traitor. Oakton HS Terrorist. Mel Gibson goes off. Gay guy hate crime murders himself. Teresa Lewis Execution. Koran Burning. Discovery Channel Attacker, yet another crazed leftist.
Obama Failures of Note:
Really? Teh Nobel Prize for Idiocy. His Golf Game. His bows. The Space Program. Obamacare. His girlish first pitch. The Courageous Restraint Medal.
Stupidest People of the Year:
Sandra Bullock. The liberal Pentagon Shooter. This couple in Love. Melissa Etheridge. This muslim chick. This tranny. Tiger Woods. This awful liberal artist. Al Gore. Alvin Greene. Lohan.
Where’s the Global Warming?
The UK has frozen. Chilly cardinal. Shoveling the deep stuff. Don’t forget the Green Police. Chinese people are evolving snowshoes! Murder-Suicide over Global Warming. Even massive volcanos can’t slow Global Warming’s roll.
TSA Employees are Retards:
Mistreating Cripples. On your knees fattie TSA worker! Only look for oversized bathroom products, allow saw blades aboard. Job recruit via pizza boxes. Assaults over Penis Size seen on those scanners. And they confiscate play-doh.
John Edwards is a Model Democrat:
He proposed to his Baby Momma. Then watched his wife get eaten alive by cancer.
I traveled a bunch: Went to Switzerland. And Disney! And Los Angeles. Awesome party at the W overlooking the White House. And Chicago too, where I got to play Golden Tee 2011. Oh, and Jolly Ol’ England. Wine Tasting in North Carolina. Jersey. ‘Nuff said. Honolulu, which was awesome. New York City. Wine tasting in San Diego. Incredible Barbecue in San Antonio. Went to the Boston area a couple of times.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ...
USPS Releasing Pixar Stamps in 2011
Dec 30th
Check out these five great USPS forever stamps slated for an August release from the United States Postal Service.
From the USPS here:
Since 1986, Pixar films have stretched the boundaries of our imagination with stories about unlikely heroes who explore the bonds of friendship and family. Now some of those heroes are the subjects of colorful new Send a Hello stamps that encourage people to connect with loved ones through the mail.
The Send a Hello stamps, which go on sale Aug. 19, are a natural outgrowth of the Art of Disney stamp series issued between 2004 and 2008. Originally intended as a series of three annual issuances depicting friendship, celebration, and romance, the Art of Disney stamps proved so popular that the Postal Service expanded the series to include issuances in 2007 and 2008 to celebrate imagination and magic.
Based on that success, the Postal Service was eager to work with the Walt Disney Company again, choosing to explore the Disney*Pixar films, which offer exciting, contemporary characters and strong themes involving family and friends.
Looks like I will be getting some of these for my collection.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...R Lee Ermy Takes on Obama
Dec 30th
Oorah! R Lee Ermy makes an appearance for a Toys for Tots drive and expresses his awesome opinion on the Obama administration. Skip to 1:40 to see his comments.
Money line:
“They’re driving us into bankruptcy so they can impose socialism on us. That’s exactly what they’re doing, and I’m sick and damn tired of it and I know you are too.”
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...B9 Robot From Lost In Space Rendered in Autodesk Inventor
Dec 29th
My brother is a whiz at Autodesk Inventor and because he’s a big geek, he models sci-fi stuff in his spare time. Check out his latest efforts- The Robot B9 from the Lost in Space Series!
And you can get your very own B9 Robot for just 24,500 bucks.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Obama Thinks Dog Murderer Vick is Super Cool
Dec 29th
Megyn Kelly does a great job reminding her viewers just what it was that Michael “Ron Mexico” Vick did to his dogs. And the NAACP and Obama think Vick is awesome despite his past.
So does Vick deserve Presidential praise? Or were his crimes too heinous?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...2 PM Music: Ida Maria – “Bad Karma”
Dec 29th
Ida Maria is the Norwegian queen of Rock. I love this new song.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Muhammad Cartoons Still Inspiring Terror
Dec 29th
Nothing proves the barbarianism of Muslims more than their inability to tolerate the freedom of others. I drew a picture of the Prophet Muhammad once. See? He is toilet paper. For your ass.
5 more followers of the Religion of Peace were rounded up for plotting to break into the Danish Newspaper and slaughter as many people as they could.
From Breitbart here:
The Danish intelligence agency PET said Wednesday it had arrested four men suspected of preparing a massacre at a newspaper which published caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed.
A spokeswoman for Swedish intelligence agency Saepo said a fifth man had been arrested in Sweden in connection with the same plot against the Copenhagen-based Jyllands-Posten daily.“These arrests have successfully stopped an imminent terror attack, where several of the suspects … were going to force their way into the (building which houses the Jyllands-Posten) in Copenhagen and kill as many people as possible”.
The four men arrested in Denmark were a 44-year-old Tunisian, a 29-year-old Swede born in Lebanon, a 30-year-old Swede and a 26-year-old Iraqi asylum seeker.
The first three men all lived in Sweden and travelled to Denmark overnight.
There is no peace in Islam. Only oppression, rage, and intolerance.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Grizzly Flats Hole Out
Dec 29th
I got a chance to get out of the house tonight and play GoldenTee Golf with my bud Dan. This wasn’t an ‘official’ video in that I had to pay a half-dollar to upload it to YouTube, but it was the best shot of the night.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Holiday Proposals
Dec 29th
I suppose there were quite a few women out there who have been shacking up with guys for nigh on 5 years, keeping their fingers crossed that their significant other would finally drop the S.O. initials and adopt the ‘Fiancé’ title instead.
And then there is this guy who scores much higher in my book. He gives the gift that keeps on giving the Lulz all year long:
Only thing that would make it funnier if it was a gay couple playing this prank on each other. Thanks to IAmBored.com.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...This Snowy Stuff is Tough on Idiots
Dec 28th
Lulzy news from the Onion about this wonderful global warming afflicting the nation:
Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation’s Idiots
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Governor Paterson Helps Tow Stranded FrontLoader
Dec 28th
Governor Paterson helps out in New York City by towing a stranded front loader. Sure he scrapes up a Ford Explorer pretty badly, but its hard to drive a tow truck correctly when you are as googley-eyed as he is.
Yeah, I know, you are saying, “Pat, the man is blind, how can you make fun of him like that?” To which I say, its easy, and its not like he’s going to be able to read this now is he?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Please God Run Over This Deer With a Truck
Dec 27th
My wife was driving home the other night and a deer bounded out of the underbrush and got pwn3d by our Chevy HHR. Cracked our headlight cover, but thankfully she wasn’t hurt and no major damage was caused. She was dejected realizing that she killed the poor dumb animal. I was dejected that she left all that good meat on the side of the road. But some deer deserve to get flattened by a semi. Watch this video. By the end you will wish a car would come screaming into the frame and take it out.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Who Died? Rick James’ Bitch!
Dec 27th
Teena Marie, who was the first white woman to break the race barrier in MoTown, was found dead at her home of supposed “natural causes,” which is really code for “deadly mix of prescription drugs”. She used to bang Rick James and described herself as a “black artist” with “White skin.”
From the AP here:
Teena Marie’s last album, “Congo Square,” was titled after a historical meeting place for slaves in New Orleans, featured a tribute to Martin Luther King’s widow and also song “Black Cool,” written for President Barack Obama.
No matter that Marie, 54, was white. The R&B legend revered and fully immersed herself in black culture – and in turn was respected and adored by black audiences, not only for her immense soulful talents, but for her inner soul as well.
“Overall my race hasn’t been a problem. I’m a Black artist with White skin. At the end of the day you have to sing what’s in your own soul,” she told Essence.com in an interview last year while promoting “Congo Square.” That album would turn out to be her last.
The self-proclaimed “Ivory Queen of Soul,” whose many classic hits included “Lovergirl,” Square Biz” and the scorching duet “Fire and Desire” with mentor Rick James, was found dead in her Pasadena home on Sunday at the age of 54. Authorities said her death appeared to be of natural causes.
She died just like lots of celebrity white people- by overdosing on a combination of prescription narcotics and alcohol. Just like Brittany Murphy and Heath Ledger.
And whoa, judging by the screeching in the video above I won’t be rushing out to download any of her songs for free on bittorrent.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
What Does Zombie Santa Want for Xmas?
Dec 26th
Brains, of course!
Not enough of the undead jolly elf? Buzzfeed has 19 more.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Cartney Versus Ironman
Dec 26th
Cartney received an IronMan action figure that shoots missiles and walks. IronMan and Cartney had a showdown in the kitchen this evening. IronMan shoots first, but I don’t think he’s got much of a chance against the boy.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...6.66 Million Hits for the Digital Nativity
Dec 25th
Almost 7 Million people have already seen this awesome modern version of the birth of Christ. It is fantastic and sums up so much of what I do every day on the Internet too. Well, except for the farmville stuff.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Tron Preproduction Shot
Dec 24th
My father-in-law gave me a copy of Disney’s NewsReel- an internal employees newsletter and it featured the new Tron movie. What I found to be the best part was this single page talking about Bruce Boxleitner’s preproduction shot- and how the original Tron costume was hanging on a rack in the wardrobe department on the Studio Lot for more than 20 years before someone recognized it.
And the data disk? Just a Wham-O Frisbee.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
Haitians Lynching VooDoo Priests for Spreading Cholera JuJu
Dec 23rd
Who’s up for some old-fashioned lynching of devil-worshipping heathens!? Well besides me, I guess lots of right-minded Haitians. You see, the VooDoo priests have been spreading their bad JuJu magic causing people to come down with cholera, the lulziest of the diarrhea epidemics.
From the AFP here:
Angry Haitian mobs have lynched at least 45 people in recent weeks, accusing them of spreading a cholera outbreak that has killed over 2,500 people across the country, officials said Wednesday.
The number included at least 14 suspected sorcerers previously known to have been lynched in the far southwestern region of Grand’Anse as local people feared they were spreading cholera with a magical substance. The area has been largely spared by the outbreak.
“We have counted 40 people dead in Grand’Anse department alone, where people are attacking natural healers they accuse of cholera-linked witchcraft.”
Five other people were killed in similar circumstances elsewhere in the country. “The victims — most of them voodoo priests — were stoned or hacked with machetes before being burned in the street”
Well, those lynchers are partly right. “Natural Healers” are doing nothing to help out the situation. But for the leftists out there, look at how low carbon these guys are living! No electricity, they don’t waste water taking long showers and they don’t use gasoline to drive unnecessarily.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
How Vista Sees the World
Dec 22nd
I have a list of User-Agent strings I’m reviewing that I collected at a client site. I’m trying to normalize and classify each of them for a project at work, and I ran across this one- User-Agent: microsoft ncsi
It was the 65th most popular user agent string generated in a large enterprise environment where a web browser or Operating System wasn’t identified. We are still talking about a thousand or so hits on this particular string. I’d never really heard of it and began to do some research.
That little globe icon that shows up whenever you have an Internet connection in Vista or Windows Server 2008? That is what happens when the NCSI, or Network Connectivity Status Indicator service on these operating systems work. Simply put, your host, upon sensing network connectivity will attempt to resolve DNS to “msftncsi.com” and then do a get request with the user-agent string above to a popular text file on that site. You can browse to it yourself by clicking http://www.msftncsi.com/ncsi.txt
If Vista can see that text file, it posts the little globe over your network status icon. So.. is that cool or gay? I’m thinking gay.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
FourSquare Fail Girl’s Name
Dec 22nd
When Foursquare goes offline or is overburdened, they post an apologetic page saying they are having troubles. Similar to Twitter’s Fail Whale is this dour looking detrhroned mayor. But what is her name?
I’ve seen a couple of good ones to call her-
- The Grr Girl
- The Pouty Princess
- Failsquare Fran
- The Mopey Mayor
- Mayor of Failville
- Mayor of Misery
- Mayor of DateRape
- Princess Diana
For you Foursquare Fans, what would you call her?
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...
