I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for October, 2008
Sick Islamic Wedding
Oct 31st
Even the vicious warlord Muhammad waited until his child bride Aisha was six before he married her. In Pakistan, the Muslim country that has nukes, two families tried to get their 7-year-old boy to marry a 5-year-old girl.

Muslim Child Brides. Allah wants them chained to a sink. Its in the Koran.
From TheSun here:
THE Muslim wedding of a seven-year-old boy and a five-year-old girl has been raided by police. Cops arrested the Muslim cleric conducting the sick ceremony and the children’s parents in Pakistan’s largest city.
The cleric had not yet begun the ceremony of Mohammad Waseem, seven, and his bride Nishain Karachi, five – which was attended by 100 guests. Pakistan law forbids marriage below the age of 18 – but some Muslim scholars say it is permissible if the bride and groom have reached puberty.
A Pakistan Human Rights Commission official Hina Gillani said the maximum possible punishment for the parents was one month in jail and fine of just over $10 (£6).
Ah, Islam treats its women so well. At least it wasn’t a 60 year old man marrying the kindergartner which is usually the case. And that part about allowing children to marry if they hit puberty? That’s a lie. Some Muslim scholars, who set the laws for Muslim societies, say its okay to have sex with one year olds.
Skate or Dive
Oct 31st
I was flipping channels the other night and stopped on MTV’s Scarred. I had seen a couple of episodes, but my wife hadn’t, so we watched for a few minutes until some loser telescoped his femur and my wife ran screaming from the room. You can see some of those full episodes here if you enjoy laughing at the pain of twenty-something losers breaking bones and suffering lacerated spleens.
Here is a vid that isn’t gory at all, but very funny. Thanks to Tuffer for sharing.
Do Blacks Think Obama is Bringing Back Welfare?
Oct 31st
I don’t know about all blacks, but this one crazy bitch sure does seem to believe that all of her bills are going to go away, and she will get a giant Publisher’s Clearinghouse-sized free check from Obama to pay for her groceries, car, rent, and cell phone bills. Watch as this woman skips work, pulls the kids from school, and goes orgasmic on camera after seeing BarackJesus speak.
Thanks to Michelle for the video.
Happy Halloween! Our Pumpkins
Oct 31st
My wife and her friend Susan spooned out the goo inside these pumpkins and carved this great Halloween message. We are looking forward to dressing the toddler up tonight for his first try at Trick-or-treating. This will either go very well or very poorly. I’ll update later.

Elizabeth Edwards Splits from Cheating Hubby John Edwards
Oct 30th
I don’t think Elizabeth Edwards got the memo. A democrat wife is supposed to stay with her cheating husband and eat shit sandwiches in the public spotlight just like Hillary. Instead, she has moved to the Other America, where John Edwards doesn’t live.

From the NYPost:
IS it over between John Edwards and his wife, Elizabeth? “The wedding band is missing,” the Washington Post reported yesterday after covering a speech the cancer-stricken mother of two gave in DC on Monday night. Edwards, the former North Carolina senator who ran for president twice, finally acknowledged three months ago that he had an affair with campaign videographer Rielle Hunter. He denies he’s the father of Hunter’s baby girl, although he has been spotted visiting mother and child. A source said Edwards is no longer living with Elizabeth and that the couple have separated.
Actually, Lizzie has left John Edwards to shake her padonkadunk for Obama in return for a choice cabinet position. You know how a brotha loves a white woman with a big ass! But if her cancer spreads to her junk-filled trunk, she may be out of a job.
Maryland Revises Its Sex Offender Banners
Oct 30th
After being ridiculed in the national media for issuing Jack-o-Lantern banners with “No Candy” written across it to thousands of sex offenders, Maryland department of corrections are allowing their perverts to put out signs without the kid-friendly pumpkin face. And they deny they were bowing to any pressure.

From MyfoxDC here:
Maryland probation and parole officials have made a slight change to the sign that child sex offenders will be required to display on their doors on Halloween.
Signs sent to 1,200 offenders earlier this month show an orange pumpkin and the words “No candy at this residence.” Now the state is giving the offenders the option of displaying a sign with the same words but without a pumpkin.
Correctional services spokesman Rick Binetti says the change is not an admission that the original sign doesn’t work. He adds that jokes that aired recently on late-night television programs didn’t drive the decision to remove the pumpkin image.
Maryland sex offenders who do stay home on Halloween and (fail to) post one sign or the other could be charged with a violation of parole.
I think the state should make the perverts post signs all year round.
Symantec to Layoff 800
Oct 30th
Or as John Thompson, CEO puts it, 4.5%. Despite making a profit and despite coming in a few million bucks short of estimates, John Thompson put a freeze on hiring, buying, and is cutting headcount by approximately 800 jobs. With the pink slips, these former employees will also get an .MP3 file of the corporate theme song:
Symantec Revolution Baby!
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
From TechTraderDaily here:
Speaking on the company’s post-earnings conference call, Symantec (SYMC) CEO John Thompson said the company is planning a significant reduction in force. Thompson didn’t provide a specific number of layoffs, instead indicating that the company plans to cut its “head count budget” by 4.5%.
Asked to elaborate, a company spokesman declined to provide a specific number on the planned head cuts; but given that the company has close to 18,000 employees, the number will almost certainly be substantial. A cut of 4.5% would imply a loss of about 800 jobs, although again, that is not quite what they described. If they cut from the bottom – employees with less than average impact on the head-count budget – the number could be higher. Layoff higher-paid execs, and the number of job losses could be lower.
Its nice to see a Barack Obama fan such as John Thompson throwing people out into the streets. Bold leadership like this will certainly give Barack Obama something to point at as proof that the economy is collapsing. Real change and hope Symantec shareholders “can believe in” would be to take MarketWatch’s advice and recommend that Thompson hit the road with those fired employees.
Lesbian Obama Supporter and HuffPo Blogger Commits Hate Crime
Oct 29th
I think this may be the worst hate crime ever committed against a gay person. Matthew Shepard, the “Baby Jesus” of pro-gay hatecrimes advocates, was murdered by two hicks who pistol whipped him and left him for dead in a field. Jessica Kalish, 56, spokeswoman for the StopZilla Anti-spyware company, was stabbed over 200 times in the face and back of the head by her jealous former lesbian lover, Carol Burger, 57. Carol Burger was also a deranged anti-american, Obama supporter, and lousy writer for the Leftwing Blog of HuffingtonPost.
Smiles belie the murderous moonbat lurking inside Carol Burger
From the PalmBeach Post here:
A woman who lived with her ex-partner wife on the city’s south side stabbed her former lover more than 200 times with a Phillips-head screwdriver and then tried to conceal the killing.
After committing the crime, Carol Anne Burger, 57, reported her old flame ex-wife missing and then, a day later, shot herself to death in her backyard, police said.
A bloodied Jessica Kalish, 56, a successful software executive, was found stuffed in the backseat of her gunmetal BMW. She had been stabbed 220 times, with the wounds concentrated in the back of her head, back, arms and face. The majority of the wounds were between an inch and an inch-and-a-half deep.
On Kalish’s car, blood was splashed around the rear end and on the rear undercarriage, as if Burger had tried to load Kalish into the trunk before putting her in the backseat. Burger put Kalish in the BMW and drove her to the Congress Avenue site before walking home, a distance of about 2 1/2 miles.
Burger cleaned up the garage and apparently used the washing machine and bathroom sink, where traces of Kalish’s blood was later detected. On Tuesday, detectives searched the former couple’s house and used Luminol to uncover a “tremendous amount of blood” in the garage. The Luminol also revealed Burger’s glowing sneaker prints on the garage floor, indicative of her walking through the blood.
Friends said Burger and Kalish were married in Massachusetts but had broken up at least a year ago. Burger and Kalish had recently hired a lawyer to draw up plans to sell the house and split the money. Kalish had met another woman and would spend hours on her side of the house, absorbed in cyber-dates with her new companion.
Burger, upset at the disintegration of her relationship and disgusted with the U.S. during the past several years, sometimes talked of moving to Panama or Mexico to start again. That she had recently lost her job didn’t help the bouts of depression she sometimes experienced. When the Web site The Huffington Post tapped Burger to cover the election from Florida this month, the job seemed to give her renewed focus.
This is a case of an old-ass childless lesbian that had a hot flash and murdered her ex. Carol Burger hated herself and her lesbianism, hated the fact she didn’t have any children, and blamed it all on Christians, Republicans, Bush, and the United States. And she took it out in a disgusting, violent rage against the woman who best represented herself: her ex-wife. Not satisfied with killing one childless lesbian, she blew her brains out Kurt Cobain style, bringing the body count to two.
A Survival Story
Oct 29th
Your father was a veteran of the long and brutal Iran/Iraq war, but managed to bring you into the world. For years you toiled to make a meager living and you somehow managed to avoid Saddam Hussein’s rape and torture centers. Some of your extended family weren’t as fortunate. They were jailed and simply never heard from again. You barely missed the conscription age when Saddam marched his forces into Kuwait, so you did not have to fight in the first Gulf War. You stayed at home and didn’t visit your Kurdish relatives on the day that Saddam launched a gas attack against them in retaliation for their insurgency against his government. You had to flee years later when the US forces invaded in 2003 and had to move frequently to avoid violence from terrorists and insurgent forces. Finally, when peace returned to your Baghdad suburb, you could celebrate a wedding with your friends and family and your toddler child.
And then you forgot to engage the safety.
The guy wasn’t even drunk. I don’t understand cultures where its okay to fire guns into the air in celebration. If the guy gets out of the hospital alive, he should enroll his kid in firearm safety classes. Thanks to Tuffer for the link!
1 PM Music: Weezer- Troublemaker
Oct 29th
Would You Give Up the Nipples?
Oct 29th
It has been your lifelong dream to look like a Barbie Doll. You spend a million bucks to alter your body to look that way. The only thing holding you back are those pesky flesh buttons at the ends of your boobs. Do you nip the nipples? Sarah Burge did.

From the DailyMail here:
The mother-of-three has undergone more than 100 surgical and cosmetic treatments. Her passion for going under the knife having started after she had reconstruction surgery to her face after being beaten up and left for dead.
The half-million pound costs include: £32,000 have her whole face lasered to remove a layer of skin to give it a more youthful look; £26,500 on perfecting her bust – including having it reduced and the nipples moved; £30,000 keeping her jawline firm; nearly £15,000 on her tummy; and £14,000 on keeping her bottom pert.
Okay, so she didn’t have them removed completely, just had them pack their bags and move to a better neighborhood. For the prices she was paying, she should have replaced them with 2 carat diamonds.
Obama Campaign Uses Phone Sex Line
Oct 28th
Watch this hilarious video of a Detroit citizen phone the Barack Obama hotline to find out how to vote this election season and instead get a Phone Sex Hotline. Click the image to watch.
From MyFoxDetroit here:
Some Michigan voters have called a phone number listed on their absentee ballots and received an earful they won’t soon forget.
Instead of hearing voting information, a misprinted number has lead them a sex hotline that promises to fulfill their every desire.
I laughed when the woman said “Does Barack know about this?” I’m sure he calls the number all the time.
The Cost of Change: 8.3 Percent More Taxes!
Oct 28th
Joe “the Gaffe” Biden spilled the beans on Obama’s tax plans today by saying the Obama is going to raise taxes on everyone making over 150,000 dollars today. The increase will be from a 36% rate back to where it was under Clinton, which is 39%.
But all you leftists who are marching in lockstep with your socialist leaders like to say this will only be a 3% raise. No, it’s not 3%. If you think it is, it just proves the inadequacy of your public school education. The difference is 3%. But its an increase of 8.333 percent. Here is a handy calculator.
Why would you vote in a “spread-the-wealth” socialist and pay for the privilege of doing so? Thanks to Hot Air for the video above and for pointing out that investors are bailing out of the stock market for fear of an Obama victory.
Where the Cheese on Cheetos Comes From
Oct 28th
You have to mine for it. Right under there.

Manuel Uribe just got hitched. I wonder if he had a Krispy Kreme wedding cake with gravy on it?
4 PM Music: Ipso Facto- Six and Three Quarters
Oct 27th
Its not often that you hear of rock and roll marching music. This is one of them. This is a catchy song and a cool video too.
Fabulous Products From China
Oct 27th
Penguin Icons. Stars, hearts, bubbles and little flowers in soft pastels of pink, blue and green. Oh, the box cutters are cute too.

The worst thing? That’s lead paint and it chips.
Maybe its an Emo Girl training kit for 8 year olds.
Reason 34 to HomeSchool: Recess Won’t Be Limited to “Let’s Be Flowers”
Oct 27th
I found this awesome comic strip series, Diversity Lane, by way of BUUUUURRRRNING HOT. Any comic that makes fun of liberals and their self-destructive ways tops my list, like this one depicting acceptable games that can be played during recess.

If you want to see more strips, check out the Diversity Lane blog here, and check out the Diversity Lane homepage for all of the backstory and characters here. And don’t forget to subscribe to new comics.
Java Patches to Finally Uninstall Old Versions
Oct 27th
Sun is going to finally do their part to keep criminals off your computers. Their newest patches are going to uninstall the old vulnerable versions.

Last year, I wrote here:
Just because you have updated a program does not always mean you are no longer vulnerable. Usually when a new version is installed, the old one is removed or overwritten in the computer. This is not true with Java. I was nailed with a nasty piece of malware that took advantage of a two-year old version of Java that was still on my laptop. It turns out that you have to manually remove your old Java versions to stay secure. The updater won’t do it for you, and hackers know this. They can write exploits that only call the old versions, and if its still on your computer, they’ve got you.
Up until now, Sun has claimed that the reason they don’t uninstall old versions is because it could cause stability and compatibility issues with older java applications. So did they just produce a fully backwards compatible version? Or just stop using the excuse?
When Vandalism is Cool
Oct 26th
I think this picture below demonstrates some shareholders’ frustrations and pain.
Thanks to Failblog.





