I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for January, 2012
Unemployed Again
Jan 31st
It was the first day on my new job and I was all excited to get to drive the bobcat. That cackling is from Stuart, my so-called pal and trainer.
Thats twice this month that I’ve lost a sweet gig- the last job was a radar screen polisher for the Costa Concordia. But its okay that I’m back on unemployment. I’m sure Obama and his army of 99%ers will get me a new job any day now.
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10 PM Music: Foo Fighters – “These Days”
Jan 31st
Who doesn’t love a hi-def music video featuring tired band members on a long road tour?
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Stuff Liberals Say
Jan 31st
This should be the final video in the sh*t people say series, and its pretty hilarious.
Thanks to 6MeatBuffet.
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Storage Wars Turn Grim: Granny Bones Up for Auction
Jan 30th
Someone just couldn’t stand to get rid of Granny after her death so they stuck her coffin in a storage locker. Her rotted bones weren’t found until some jackass ran up the bids and stuck an unsuspecting buyer with something grim.
From WTSP here by way of DuckDuckGrayDuck:
Law enforcement in Clearwater found Bunch’s skeletal remains on Thursday inside a coffin nestled in a storage unit. Turns out the body may have been packed in there for 16 years, since shortly after Bunch died in 1994.
Before the discovery of the body, everything in the unit was going to be auctioned off because Fancher’s mother, who owned it, couldn’t afford to pay for it. The family also couldn’t afford to transport the grandmother to her final resting place in Alabama.
“[After she died], she was in a covered trailer parked by the side of the house for two or three weeks,” Fancher says.
In 2010, law enforcement in Pinellas County deemed the home where Fancher lives uninhabitable. Nearly a dozen cats were seized.
So what we have here are three TV shows mashed together: Bones, Storage Wars and Hoarders. Am I leaving a TV show out?
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FDA Sued By Stupid Scientists Who Can’t Read
Jan 30th
The FDA used its sophisticated network monitoring tools to reconstruct emails and documents sent via an external unauthorized email account, and ultimately the scientists who were bypassing FDA content filters were fired. Now they are suing the FDA for “spying on them” and doing so “secretly” despite the fact they see this every time they boot their FDA workstation:

(FDA) - The startup screen on FDA computers warns employees, “you have no reasonable expectation of privacy,” including any communication accessed or sent from the machine. This specific message has appeared since at least December 2010.
From the WaPo here:
The Food and Drug Administration secretly monitored the personal e-mail of a group of its own scientists and doctors after they warned Congress that the agency was approving medical devices that they believed posed unacceptable risks to patients, government documents show.
The surveillance — detailed in e-mails and memos unearthed by six of the scientists and doctors, who filed a lawsuit against the FDA in U.S. District Court in Washington last week — took place over two years as the plaintiffs accessed their personal Gmail accounts from government computers.
Information garnered this way eventually contributed to the harassment or dismissal of all six of the FDA employees, the suit alleges. All had worked in an office responsible for reviewing devices for cancer screening and other purposes.
Scientists who violate an obvious monitoring policy really have no legitimate complaint. Don’t want to be monitored? Use an SSH tunnel- at least until you get caught doing that too.
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DHS Monitoring Twitter; Ejects Chavs From US
Jan 30th
Alternate title of this post: When Idiots Converge. Leigh Bryan, a 24 YO doofus from Ireland, and probable chav, tweeted that he was going to “destroy america” and “dig up” Marilyn Monroe’s corpse. Upon landing in LAX, he was intercepted by customs and searched and then told that he was not allowed entry onto US soil. It seems he was watchlisted by DHS idiots who don’t understand that pasty white guys from the UK use terms like “destroy” to mean “get wasted.”
From the Mail here:
Two British tourists were barred from entering America after joking on Twitter that they were going to ‘destroy America’ and ‘dig up Marilyn Monroe’. Leigh Van Bryan, 26, was handcuffed and kept under armed guard in a cell with Mexican drug dealers for 12 hours after landing in Los Angeles with pal Emily Bunting. The Department of Homeland Security flagged him as a potential threat when he posted an excited tweet to his pals about his forthcoming trip to Hollywood which read: ‘Free this week, for quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America‘.
After making their way through passport control at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) last Monday afternoon the pair were detained by armed guards. Despite telling officials the term ‘destroy’ was British slang for ‘party’, they were held on suspicion of planning to ‘commit crimes’ and had their passports confiscated.
Federal agents even searched his suitcase looking for spades and shovels, claiming Emily was planning to act as Leigh’s ‘look out’ while he raided Marilyn’s tomb. Bar manager Leigh, from Coventry, and Emily, 24, from Birmingham, were then quizzed for five hours at LAX before they were handcuffed and put into a van with illegal immigrants and locked up overnight.
‘When we arrived at the prison I was shoved in a cell on my own but after an hour two huge Mexican men covered in tattoos came in and started asking me who I was. ‘They told me they’d been arrested for taking cocaine over the border. When the food arrived on the tray they took it all and just left me with a carton of apple juice.‘
They spent 12 hours in separate holding cells before being driven back to the airport where they were put on a plane home via Paris.
Aww, poor baby only got apple juice.
Yes, its kinda absurd that DHS thinks that they are catching terrorists by reading tweets. Its refreshing to see them fail at this as badly as their airport screening prevents terror too. As long as DHS continues to pretend that white males plant bombs, they will fail at their task.
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DC Female Cops Taze Retarded OWSer
Jan 29th
A video this awesome doesn’t come around often. Two female cops put the TASER beat down on a drugged up liberal bum who is camping illegally in McPherson Square in downtown DC. The dreaded-haired dope smoker is wearing an awesome Commie Red tshirt that declares “He Loves It In The Ass.” And that is exactly where the cops tased this fool.
In case you missed his tshirt, you’re welcome for the snip below:
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Chinese Blogger Rescues 1100 Dogs From Slaughterhouse
Jan 29th
A Chinese delicacy is Puppy Paws. And dog meat is served regularly in both restaurants and for family meals. One Chinese blogger intercepted a flatbed truck stacked with cramped dog cages as it was headed to a slaughterhouse. But what can one activist do with so many animals?
From NYDailyNews here by way of UniqueDaily:
Chinese blogger rescues 1,137 dogs intended to be killed for food from crammed flatbed truck
Some of the dogs, which were going to be made into food, were already dead when foundChina Daily reported that 1,137 dogs were rescued on Monday from the back of a flatbed truck by a 40-year blogger and volunteer at the Chongqing Small Animal Protection Association (CSAPA).
The 1,137 dogs that had been cramped into cages stacked on top of each other into the back of a flatbed truck were intercepted with the help of a blogger, who goes by the surname Peng, as they were on their way to be made into food.
Peng estimated that about 20 percent of the dogs will likely be adopted by locals since some of them are desirable breeds like chow and husky.
However, many of the remaining dogs face unknown futures as adequate housing is hard to come by.
“But as the country lacks regulation on the slaughter of cats and dogs, dealers will not be punished when they ship dead or sick animals for dinner tables.
Not all cultures are equal. The Chinese culture is changing, however. On the one hand, the increase in wealth allows citizens to pursue other interests, and especially altruistic ones such as animal care. On the other hand, China still allows meat for human consumption to come from animals that do not have to be regulated by health agencies. So what’s worse? Chinese eating dogs or that dogs could have been carcasses scraped off a highway?
And if only a fifth of the animals could be adopted, what do you do with the rest? Onwards to the slaughterhouse? Or humane euthanization? And I have written before how the Chinese kill their unwanted dogs. Not pretty.
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Monster Jam
Jan 28th

Monster Jam, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.
I took the boy to see Monster Trucks up close and personal at the Verizon Center in DC. It was all fine and fun until the trucks really started revving their engines. The noise was too much and too scary for the lad and we had to leave early without seeing what we actually paid to go see. **SIGH** maybe in a couple of more years….
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Cheerful Dad Blindsided by Terabithia
Jan 27th
The movie Bridge to Terabithia is supposed to be a kids movie featuring fantastic creatures and monsters created by childhood imagination. The special effects aren’t that special and the acting is not really up to Disney standards, but it should keep your child still for a couple of hours.
You just have to stop watching the movie when the little girl gets murdered, raped by a biker gang, and the body eaten by badgers. Yeah, the movie ends that badly. Fortunately, for my family, we saw the movie without the boy, and we were stunned with WTFness. @Exjon on Twitter must not have read any of the spoiler alerts and watched the movie with his two young daughters. He tweeted (read from bottom up)
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Taiwanese Animators Say Demi Moore is a Skinny Drugged Up Old Sow
Jan 27th
Or something like that.
Yahoo here says that Demi Moore was smoking salvia or something when she needed hospitalization. Boy this longest running episode of Punk’d just keeps delivering!
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Reason 47 to HomeSchool: Kids Won’t Eat Drug-Laced Brownies
Jan 27th
Someone brought pot brownies to school in a neighboring county and some kids ate the evidence. So anything with peanuts in it can’t make it through the front door, but drug laced chocolate brownies? That’s fine.
From WTOP here:
The Loudoun County Sheriff’s Department is investigating reports that several students brought “pot brownies” to Farmwell Station Middle School in Ashburn.
Sheriff Mike Chapman said his department was notified about the brownies about 5:45 p.m. Thursday. “We heard about it yesterday, but it apparently happened a day earlier,” Wayde Byard, spokesman for Loudoun County Public Schools, told WTOP.
“We’re still figuring out what happened, since it appears the evidence was eaten by the time we found out.”
Rumors began flying on Facebook and Twitter that students had been expelled.
I remember when they used to teach kids to “Just say no.” That no longer appears to be the case these days. Marijuana use has become a culturally accepted behavior, even in an upscale county like Loudoun Virginia.
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X Games Crash: Colton Moore Bites It
Jan 26th
I saw this while I was out tonight at (shocker!) a pub with friends. I’m gonna watch the reruns later on ESPN 3D.
Reminds me of Jake Brown biting it on the skateboard.
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Symantec to Customers: Only a Fool Would Use PCAnywhere Now
Jan 26th
Symantec released a whitepaper that quickly glosses over that they were pwn3d back in 2006 and lost the source code to their flagship products. Now they are recommending that the software be turned off unless you really, really can’t do without it, but if you get h4x0red don’t blame them.

The whitepaper says:
Upon investigation of the claims made by Anonymous regarding source code disclosure, Symantec believes that the disclosure was the result of a theft of source code that occurred in 2006. We believe that source code for the 2006-era versions of the following products was exposed: Norton Antivirus Corporate Edition; Norton Internet Security; Norton SystemWorks (Norton Utilities and Norton GoBack); and pcAnywhere.
With this incident pcAnywhere customers have increased risk. Malicious users with access to the source code have an
increased ability to identify vulnerabilities and build new exploits. Additionally, customers that are not following general security best practices are susceptible to man-in-the-middle attacks which can reveal authentication and session information. General security best practices include endpoint, network, remote access, and physical security, as well as configuring pcAnywhere in a way that minimizes potential risks.At this time, Symantec recommends disabling the product until Symantec releases a final set of software updates that resolve currently known vulnerability risks. For customers that require pcAnywhere for business critical purposes, it is recommended that customers understand the current risks, ensure pcAnywhere 12.5 is installed, apply all relevant patches as they are released, and follow the general security best practices discussed herein.
I don’t know how much marketshare PCAnywhere maintains nowadays- most Windows desktops and servers ship with a free remote desktop client, and most customers I encounter today use either citrix or desktop sharing services like WebEx. But this whole episode is still an embarrassment to big yellow.
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Court Compels Hard Disk Decryption
Jan 26th
In the first case of its kind, a woman has been ordered by a court to decrypt her hard drive so that prosecutors can use the decrypted files against her in court. She tried to plead the fifth amendment and not turn over the files, but was somehow overruled. This is different from border crossing cases where customs officials have compelled decryption for use in searches- since the laptop is treated like a “container file” and the container is not actually on US territory.
From Wired here by way of Ed at RightRant:
A judge on Monday ordered a Colorado woman to decrypt her laptop computer so prosecutors can use the files against her in a criminal case.
The defendant, accused of bank fraud, had unsuccessfully argued that being forced to do so violates the Fifth Amendment’s protection against compelled self-incrimination.
The authorities seized the laptop from defendant Ramona Fricosu in 2010 with a court warrant while investigating financial fraud.
The case is being closely watched (.pdf) by civil rights groups, as the issue has never been squarely weighed in on by the Supreme Court.
They have the data on that drive already. But if you have to verbally disclose a password to decrypt, how is that not self incrimination? I am usually on the law enforcement side of things when it comes to cyber evidence, but in this case, the accused has solid rights. They can take property under due process, but they cannot compel you to speak a single word against yourself, and that includes a password. It will be interesting to see what happens with this case. What she should have said is she uploaded all of the files to MegaUpload.
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RIP Dick Tufeld
Jan 25th
Lost in Space was a show that hit reruns when I was a child, and they both fascinated and terrified me. I am saddened to learn that the voice of B9, the Lost in Space robot died today. Dick Tufeld had a truly iconic voice.
He was 85. Went down swingin’ I hope.
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3 PM Music: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – “Swingin’”
Jan 25th
A great re-release video by Tom from 1999. And this is an outstanding music video too starring Luke Wilson and Robin Tunney.
I always think that going down swinging is the only way to go.
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Chuck Woolery on Mob Rule
Jan 25th
This is good stuff from Chuck here, reminding us we are not a Democracy.
And I love the quote: “You can judge the arrogance of your politician by the ignorance of their constituents.”
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Arkansas Democrat Kills Own Pet and Blames Republicans
Jan 25th
Democrats have a long- sad- history of creating fake hate crimes against themselves in an attempt to draw attention to themselves and become some kind of perverse martyr. With Jewish liberals, they draw swastikas on their own homes. Blacks will sometimes burn crosses or tie pieces of rope into a noose. So what does a white hillbilly from Arkansas do to fake hate crime himself? Why murder his own cat and write “liberal” on it of course!
From a liberal local blog here:
It was Jake Burris, Ken Aden’s campaign manager. Last night, Jake and his four kids had come back to their Russellville home. As they were getting out of the car, one of his children discovered their family cat dead on the front porch. One side of the animal’s head had been bashed in and an eyeball was hanging out of its socket. But there was something even more horrifying to be found on the corpse.
Written across the animal’s fur in black marker was the word “LIBERAL“.
This is terrorism. There’s no other word for it. A police report has been filed. Jake said the kids seem to be handling it okay. The one that discovered the cat was too young to be able to read and Jake had quickly gotten the others into the house before they saw it. Pope County is an insanely conservative area and the Aden campaign has been shaking things up even there and it looks like another right wing sociopath with a taste for violence has come crawling out of the woodwork in response. I asked Aden for a comment on the record:
“This is sickening. To kill a child’s pet…I’m at a loss for words…I’ve seen the best and the worst of humanity, but this is something else.”
Both Ken and Jake though made it clear that they weren’t going to back down on the campaign trail, both agreeing that caving to this kind of behavior would only make things worse.
“I’ve got a gun and I know how to use it.”, Jake said. “If I have to protect my kids I’ll do it without hesitation.”
This happened the same night that Gabby Giffords, the survivor of a heinous act of violence, announced she was resigning from Congress. To think of something happening here like what happened in Arizona, the possibility of that happening to Ken or to someone on his campaign team, is frightening beyond belief.
This is laughable. Jake Burris killed his own cat to garner attention and sympathy in his own “insanely conservative district.” And no, its not terrorism, its just another liberal desperate for attention. And to even compare what happened to Gabby Giffords is sickening. Gabby was shot in the face by a crazed LIBERAL pothead- and not for anything Sarah Palin had said, which is still apparently the meme among liberals. The news will come out soon that this was all staged to garner sympathy, and the only terrorism going on is Jake Burris terrifying his own children in the name of liberal idealism.
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Finally! A Matt Damon Movie I’d Pay to See
Jan 24th
Zoos are for beginners. Wanna cage the ultimate animal? Ditch the zebras and monkeys and get yourself a jail!
Now I’m gonna sit around daydreaming of what I would do if I owned my very own jail. Could it be true? Could you really buy your very own jail? That would be awesome, especially on Shiv Wednesdays!
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