I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for February, 2010
Facebook Best Tool in Divorce Lawyer’s Toolbox
Feb 28th
When you hire a divorce lawyer today their first bit of advice is to:
#1 Download all the dirt from your soon-to-be-ex-spouse’s Facebook Page.
#2 Delete your Facebook Account.
The article below mentions that over 80% of all divorce cases now include Facebook drama. Wow.
From TampaBayOnline here:
If eHarmony is the Web site bringing lovebirds to the threshold of marriage, Facebook is the one showing up for the divorce.
The world’s most popular social media site is revolutionizing the divorce experience, pouring toxin into virtually every stage of a collapsing marriage.
Rekindling old flames into blazing affairs. Exposing the “Exhibit A” that divorce lawyers wave in the courtroom. Providing a global stage for feuding spouses to torch each other’s reputations in multi-media splendor.
Take, for instance, the Tampa wife who videotaped fights with her husband (camera in one hand, accusing finger in the other), to post on Facebook later. A child psychologist called it “like a reality TV show.”
Or the Tampa husband with a Facebook fixation, who posted minute-by-minute updates about his frustrations with parenting. Lawyers for his wife gleefully turned the online confessions against him in court.
Facebook is “like gasoline on the fire,” said Chris Ragano, a Tampa attorney who says Facebook turns up in more than half of new cases each month. Now, he orders every new client to cancel their Facebook account on Day 1 of his retainer – but not before using the account to collect evidence against the other side.
More than 80 percent of lawyers surveyed by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers said Facebook is showing up in more divorce cases. Sixty-six percent called Facebook the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence, followed by MySpace (15 percent) and Twitter (5 percent).
Facebook. 1 million love matches made. 7 million divorces caused.
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Loading ...Dr. Drew Saves Gary Coleman’s Life
Feb 27th
Gary Coleman and Dr. Drew were appearing as panelists on a show called “The Insider.” When Coleman fell over twitching from seizures, Dr. Drew performed real doctorin’ skills to help him out until the paramedics arrived.
From the LATimesBlog here:
Gary Coleman suffered an apparent seizure on the set of “The Insider” on Friday and was taken to a Los Angeles area hospital. Fellow panelist Dr. Drew Pinsky, who was sitting next to him at the time, administered care until paramedics arrived.
Coleman, who is 41, suffers from a congenital kidney disease and requires frequent dialysis, which he has said he prefers not to discuss.
Celebrity rehab AND keeping washed up 70′s sitcom black dwarves from dying? Is there anything Dr. Drew CAN’T do?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Jenny McCarthy, STFU Now Please?
Feb 27th
Jenny McCarthy, who has run around the country telling people not to get their children immunized because she claimed it caused her child to catch the dreaded autism, just found out that her kid never had autism at all. And now she is reversing her position on immunizations too, saying parents should do it, but um… they should be “researched more” or something.
From Hollywoodlife here:
After years of speaking out about her son’s autism — and against childhood immunizations — Jenny McCarthy is reversing her position.
After years of speaking publicly about her belief that MMR shots (immunization for measles, mumps, and rubella) caused her son to suffer from autism, Jenny McCarthy now faces the reality that her 7-year-old son Evan — who no longer shows any signs of autism — may likely have lived with completely different illness.A new article in Time magazine — which Jenny was interviewed for — suggests Evan suffers from Landau-Kleffner syndrome, “a rare childhood neurological disorder that can also result in speech impairment and possible long-term neurological damage.”
The Center of Disease Control say her claims about immunizations make her “a menace to public health.”
Jenny talks about her son’s progress saying, “Evan couldn’t talk — now he talks. Evan couldn’t make eye contact — now he makes eye contact. Evan was anti-social — now he makes friends. It was amazing to watch.”
And she is also reversing her initial position that the MMR shots caused Evan’s autism. Jenny now says she wants vaccinations better researched — rather than getting rid of them altogether, as she previously promoted.
Know what needs more research? How to get bubble-headed blonds with ailing crotchfruit to STFU and to stop them from inflicting harm on other children.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Tried to Make Me Got to Rehab and I Said “Oook Oook Oook!”
Feb 27th
Zhora the chimp who lives at a zoo in Russia is completely out of control. As such, he has been sent to rehab.
From MSNBC here:
A Russian chimpanzee has been sent to rehab by zookeepers to cure the smoking and beer-drinking habits he has picked up.
An ex-performer, Zhora became aggressive at his circus and was transferred to a zoo in the southern Russian city of Rostov, where he fathered several baby chimps, learned to draw with markers and picked up his two vices.
“The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze,” the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said.
It added he has now been transferred to the city of Kazan, about 500 miles east of Moscow, for rehabilitation treatment.
Hmm. I’d really like to know how they will convince the chimp that there is a higher power. And how will the chimp make amends to all of the people that his disgusting habits have offended? And if he gets out of rehab, will he sponsor other chimp addicts too?
Being a huge Dr. Drew fan, I understand that addiction is often caused by young monkeyhood trauma, and I guess being captured and forced to work at a circus would do it. Or maybe all those damn chimp kids drove him to drink? How do you take a beer bottle from a drunk chimp? Won’t he rip your friggin’ face off?
I’m confident that the chimp will come out of rehab a better monkey. After all, if Rodney King could sober up, then any primate can.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...One Time Obama Got Rear-Ended. Now He’s Trying to Rear-End Us All
Feb 27th
Watch this incredible clip that shows just how retarded our big-eared President is. He complains that in college he bought a discount insurance policy to cover his POS car. The insurance policy, if it was like mine when I was younger and had a POS car, covered liability only- so if the anointed one smashed his anointed car into an anointed lady crossing the anointed street, she would receive a big fat anointed paycheck because Obama couldn’t drive. But if someone hit Obama, it was up to Obama to collect a check from the other driver. This video demonstrates how badly Obama misunderstands how the insurance companies work:
A comment at Moonbattery said:
tells the bogus story of how he’s a poor college grad and buys the cheap auto insurance and then gets rear-ended. He then complains that his insurance company won’t fix his car. Dude, if somebody rear-ends you, THEIR insurance company pays to fix your car. The acme reference was obviously the only company name he could come up with from his vast business experience watching bugs bunny.
What an absolute dumbass.
With such a deep understanding of how the real world of Insurance works, we have to trust this guy to rewrite medical care for the whole country?
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Email Warning!
Feb 26th
More than 15 years after people began to forward bogus emails warning others to delete emails with certain subject lines, claiming that it contained a virus that would cause untold destruction to your computer, people are still forwarding them. I get that people want to be helpful, and email can be scary to some people that don’t understand how it works. Usually I wouldn’t even bother to mention it, but I got an email warning today and I just had to share it.
It says:
WARNING! If you receive an email with the subject line of “Nancy Pelosi Naked” Do not open it!! It won’t harm your computer, but it could cause blindness or nausea because it is a naked picture of Nancy Pelosi!
Forward to all your friends!
That sounds like great advice to me. Thanks to Planck’s Constant for the warning!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Celebrating Black History Month: Googley Eyed Governor Drops Re-Election Bid
Feb 26th
The First Googley-Eyed Governor ever has decided that he shouldn’t run for re-election as Governor of New York. To be fair, he couldn’t see how his actions affected him politically.
From the NYDaily News here:
Embattled Gov. Paterson has pulled the plug on his election bid, a source close to the governor said Friday. Paterson has been under fire for having contacted a woman who accused one of his top aides of domestic violence.
The source said the governor has agreed not to seek election, but he will not resign – opting to serve out the remainder of his term.
Watching David Paterson struggle with this controversy is almost as funny as watching David Paterson play a game of catch. I know, you say, “Pat, that’s cold, dude.” To which I reply- its not like the soon-to-be-ex-Governor would be able to read my comments anyways.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Just What I Suspected
Feb 25th
Slow night for blogging. But FINALLY I know how my cat’s brain works thanks to this handy map.
Thanks to Miss Celania!
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 6) Loading ...Racial Profiling at the Club
Feb 25th
People are getting a bit tired of the Guido Resurgence. The Italian Douchebag look is therefore, unfortunately, out.
If they can do profiling at a night club, why can’t they do this at an airport? They should keep the underwear bombers and the spray-tanned guidos off the plane!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Midnight Music: Train – “Hey Soul Sister”
Feb 25th
This song is going to be a huge hit and will likely be everywhere on the radio this spring and summer. Usually I’m the one in the family finding new music to listen to. Jess found this one, and she’s right- its going to be a big hit this year. Don’t forget to download it if you like it at the link below.
Get the song!
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...SeaWorld Orca Snack Attack
Feb 24th
A Killer Whale in Orlando’s Seaworld killed its trainer today. The cause is as yet unclear to Seaworld, but I’ll hazard a guess that the animal is a KILLER. Dude, its in the title of the animal! Even the beloved Shamu was known to attempt a murder or two as documented by one of my favorite TV shows, MaxX.
From the Sentinel here:
A veteran animal trainer whose dream was to work at SeaWorld’s Shamu Stadium was killed Wednesday when one of the show’s killer whales dragged her underwater and she drowned.
SeaWorld said Dawn Brancheau, 40, was pulled into the 12,000-pound whale’s tank about 2 p.m.
Witnesses told the Orlando Sentinel that Tilikum, the largest whale at the theme park, suddenly grabbed Brancheau by the upper arm, tossed her around in his mouth and pulled her beneath the water as dozens of tourists looked on in horror.
Brazilian tourist João Lúcio da Costa Sobrinho, 28, and his girlfriend, Talita Oliveira, 20, watched the attack from an underwater viewing area where they had gone to take photos.
Suddenly, they saw a woman in the whale’s jaws, her face bloody. The whale circled round and round, turning her over and over, they said.
“It was terrible,” Sobrinho said. “It’s very difficult to see the image.”
Witnesses who watched the attack while eating at the “Dine with Shamu” show told the Sentinel a female trainer was petting a whale when it grabbed her and plunged into the water. It reappeared on the other side of the tank and leapt up holding the woman, they said.
And the whale shouted “Taa DAAA!!!”
My wife had the best comment about this story. She said “The Orca is the Pit Bull of the Cetacean world. Everyone thinks they are all cute and cuddly but they are vicious at heart.”
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Dammit, Obama Bowed Again!
Feb 24th
I wonder if he got fries with that?
Thanks to Moonbattery for the hilarious pic!
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...What This Blog Needs… Is More WifeBeater Dude!
Feb 24th
Here is the second video of WifeBeater Dude giving MuffinTop Mistress a Friggin’ Lapdance! He shoves his sweaty tanktop over her head and proceeds to grind, bounce and grab her head and make her wear his black ballcap sideways. Behold the Douche.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Next Winter Games to Include Pole Dancing?
Feb 23rd
I guess those “flirty fit” videos just might pay off. Finally, an Olympic sport for single moms. Instead of winning the gold, you “make it rain” dollar bills.
From MSNBC here:
Still, pole dancing? In the Olympics?
Absolutely, say thousands of pole dancers and the rapidly growing number of international and national federations transforming what was once the exclusive property of strip clubs and cheap bars into a respectable — and highly athletic — event.
“I could definitely see pole dancing in the Olympics,” said Sato, who, a dancer since the age of three, out-twirled a bevy of athletes from 11 countries at the second International Pole Dancing Fitness Championships in Tokyo two months ago. “I would love to win a gold medal.”
Stupid whores. If you’re an athletic skank, you are still a skank. Why don’t they do the 300 meter iron my shirt event? That would impress me.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Crying Wolf!
Feb 23rd
This is from last week. I had tried to create a shortcut over a butte. Luckily the wolf didn’t attack.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...4 PM Music: Weird Al – “Weasel Stomping Day”
Feb 23rd
I love the shot of PETA shirt-wearing weenies stomping on weasels!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...James Ray’s Harmonic Wealth More Harmonious with Bad Investments
Feb 23rd
James Ray, the self-help cult leader who caused three of his followers to die in a retarded home-made sweat lodge is famous for his teachings on “Harmonious Wealth” and the “Laws of Attraction.” I guess all James Ray has really been attracting is busloads of bill collectors. His dumb-ass is too broke to make bail.
Boo Hoo story is from the PostChronicle here:
The guru charged with manslaughter in the controversial sweat lodge death case is unable to make bond, claiming he cannot come up with the $5 million needed to get out of jail until his trial.
James Arthur Ray has long proclaimed his supposed wealth and successful business, claiming to have made $10 million in revenues in 2009, and over a million dollars advanced on his book “Harmonic Wealth” reports Forbes.com. His website is extensive.
But court documents reveal that Ray is severely in debt with a net worth of minus $4.2 million. Real estate makes up about $3.1 million of Ray’s total assets of nearly $4.2 million, but he has little equity in his properties.
The motivational speaker charged in the deaths of three participants in an Arizona sweat lodge ceremony pleaded not guilty on Feb. 4.
James Arthur Ray was charged with three counts of manslaughter. Bail was set at $5 million. A hearing was scheduled next week on a defense motion to reduce Ray’s bond, one of his lawyers, Brad Brian, told CNN. Brian said Ray cannot pay $5 million.
He has the cash. He is already putting on a front to avoid paying out in the upcoming multi-million dollar lawsuits he is also attracting. Lawsuits are harmonic too, I guess!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...McDonald’s Corporation is Racist
Feb 22nd
Check out 365black.com. This is a site owned by McDonald’s corporate offices to promote all the good things it thinks it brings to the black community.
Why is it called 365Black? Because:
At McDonald’s®, we believe that African-American culture and achievement should be celebrated 365 days a year — not just during Black History Month. That’s the idea behind 365Black.com. It’s a place where you can learn more about education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities, and meet real people whose lives have been touched by McDonald’s.
Like the unique African Baobab tree, which nourishes its community with its leaves and fruit, McDonald’s has branched out to the African-American community nourishing it with valuable programs and opportunities.
Seriously? The Baobab tree?? How do self-respecting black people not find this incredibly condescending and demeaning? Aren’t there better resources for finding inspiration, information about education, and opportunity than a freaking burger joint’s website??
And you won’t believe the commercials this place is generating!
See my previous post on real racist McDonald’s Commercials.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...No One Believes a Pothead
Feb 22nd
Meet Michael Mineo. When the cops saw him lighting up a joint on the streets of New York, he tried to run from cops who don’t smoke pot everyday. After his arrest he claimed that he had been buggered by a night stick. He was suing the city for 440 million bucks. That could buy a lot of weed, dude! But the jury laughed and didn’t believe a word he said. Now he is literally all butthurt and is going to do a new blame whitey tour with Al Sharpton.
From the AP here:
A New York City police officer accused of sodomizing a drug suspect in a subway station was acquitted Monday after defense attorneys spent weeks chipping away at the credibility of the accuser, a self-professed gang member who admitted to smoking pot regularly. Two colleagues were acquitted of a cover-up.
Officer Richard Kern had faced as many as 25 years in prison if convicted of aggravated sexual abuse, while Officers Andrew Morales and Alex Cruz could have gotten up to four years on charges of hindering prosecution.
Mineo has filed a $440 million lawsuit against the city. His attorney, Stephen Jackson, said the lawsuit would continue as planned and would be unaffected by the outcome of the criminal case. They’re also planning to ask federal officials to investigate and want the U.S. Marshals Service to protect Mineo.
The 25-year-old Mineo claimed he was assaulted in a Brooklyn subway station on an October afternoon in 2008 after the cops chased him for lighting a joint on the street.
He said that after he was handcuffed, one of the officers sodomized him with a baton.
The moral of the story is don’t smoke dope, stupid. And the lawsuit is going to fail too. Why would the US Marshals Service need to protect Mineo? Oh yeah, pot smoking makes you paranoid. He probably thinks the cops are out to get him.
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(2 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...So Sad! ACORN Shutting Down National Ops
Feb 22nd
Saw this over at Hot Air. How the hell are Democrats going to vote rig elections without their army of all-black volunteers (slaves) forging signatures and making up fake names? As HotAir says, when they make a South Park episode saying you cater to pimps and whores, its time to reassess your name brand.
From HotAir here:
“ACORN has dissolved as a national structure of state organizations,” said a senior official close to the group, who declined to be identified by name because of the fierce conservative attacks on the group that began when a conservative filmmaker caught some staffers of its tax advisory arms on tape appearing to offer advice on incorporating a prostitution business…
“Consistent with what the internal recommendations have been, each of the states are developing plans for reconstitution independence and self-sufficiency,” said the official, citing ACORN’s “diminished resources, damage to the brand, unprecedented attacks.”…
“It’s not like this is some kind of hostile thing,” said the New York source. “This is what Fox has produced. National Acorn and Bertha Lewis are continuing doing their thing, but the New York flagship has been foreed into this new organization.”
“As far as the work in the communities and policy campaigns, no one will notice the difference,” the source said. “It’s people who still believe in their basic mission of fighting for poor people.”
Ohhhh. So they are keeping their black minions around on stand-by, doing other unpaid labor, or they are being stored in local warehouses with bars on the windows.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
