I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for April, 2009
Polish Zoo Bought Gay Elephant
Apr 13th
The Poznan zoo in western Poland spent about 13 Million dollars to have one of the best elephant exhibits in Europe, and they had visions of having their very own herd of thundering elephants one day. And then someone went and bought a gay elephant and pissed everyone off, including the other male elephants that keep trumpeting “Dude! Dude!! Stop it!” whenever Ninio the gay elephant gets horny. Speaking of surprised, the kids in this video are screaming from trauma watching these elephants party on the playground…
From Reuters here:
A Polish politician has criticised his local zoo for acquiring a “gay” elephant named Ninio who prefers male companions and will probably not procreate.
“We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys (7.6 million pounds) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there,” the pol said. “We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?”
In these tough economic times, can any zoo afford to feed a huge animal that refuses to procreate? Can’t they just turn him into piano keys and umbrella stands? Seriously, if you were a chicken farmer and you found out your rooster was gay, you would have to kill it, right? What’s the difference besides the size here and the fact that Ninio thinks peanuts are “Fabulooouuusss!!”
Fudge-pachyderm. There, I said it.
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(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 6)
Loading ...Took a Long Lunch
Apr 13th
I’m back in Texas today and I took a long walk at lunch to see a cool American landmark: The Alamo!
It was a beautiful afternoon in downtown San Antonio. You can smell summer breezes on the air and lots of people were enjoying the sunshine.
Some very brave and isolated men gave their very all on this spot. The Mexicans under the command of General Santa Ana even burned the bodies after they were all killed. It is unusual that total defeats can be turned into Pyrrhic victories the way the Alamo was- Despite the defeat, the men who gave their all went on the become more famous for losing than the commanding General who was the victor of the battle.
Three of the most famous, inscribed above- Bonham, Bowie and Crockett have gone on in legend and lore, but General Santa Ana died a lonely old man.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Go Navy! Kill Pirates!
Apr 13th
The Navy did just what they should have done by killing the filthy Muslim pirates. Thanks to them at least one sea captain has been rescued. However, many more people remain captive to the scum along Somalia.
This 19th-century engraving depicts an Arab slave-trading caravan transporting black African slaves across the Sahara. The trans-Saharan slave trade developed in the 7th and 8th centuries as Muslim Arabs conquered most of North Africa. The trade grew significantly from the 10th to the 15th century and peaked in the mid-19th century.
Don’t forget, the nickname for our Marines, “leathernecks” was earned because they wore leather neck guards when fighting this scum along the barbary coast in the early days of our nation’s history. I think its about time we finished the job. Check out this previous post about how our forefathers handled pirate scum.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Bizarre Scotsman Swatting Motorheads With his Dipstick Shilelagh
Apr 11th
Not too sure what to make of this Castrol commercial. A red headed doofus with a bad Scottish accent and wearing scotch colored beret and tie is running around smacking guys with a dipstick from a Ford V-8 screaming “That’s thinking with your dipstick, Jimmy!”
LOL, Whut? I’d like to see this guy and Groundskeeper Willie from the Simpsons have a Scottish Stereotype Showdown.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 61 to HomeSchool: Elementary School Principal Won’t Rape Your Daughter
Apr 10th
You know, most lesbian sex offender teachers won’t take the time to put on a little lipstick for their booking photo, which is part of what makes Brookann Collier, 32, such a classy child rapist. 6 years ago when this Elementary School Principal was just a teacher, she began to rape a 14 year old girl who was her student.
The “relationship” continued until recently when there was apparently a fight of some sort, or the victim discovered she actually likes boys, and the victim said, “Get away from me bitch, and by the way, I’m calling the cops!”
From KSBY here:
The principal of Tunnell Elementary School is in police custody on child molestation charges. 32-year-old Brookann Collier is accused of molesting a female child under the age of 15.
Investigators say the female victim reported the alleged incidents last month, which started when she was about 14 years old. Brookann Collier befriended the victim at a local elementary school where Collier was a teacher and the victim a student. The sexual conduct continued until this year.
Officers arrived at Collier’s house around 7:00 a.m. Thursday. Neighbors say she was taken from the house in handcuffs, and soon after, investigators removed several items from the house as well.
I can only imagine that the evidence carried from the home were letters and other memorabilia that would confirm the crime took place. But isn’t it comforting to know that even the principals are raping the kids now? Thanks to Misin4mati0n for the tip!
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(5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 6) Loading ...Reason 840 to HomeSchool: Special Needs Student Teacher Won’t Rape Your Son
Apr 9th
No this is not a repeat of an earlier post, just one more in a long line of special ed teachers that get way too moist from rubbing their boobs against retarded children all day. Meet Lindsay Massaro. She is 23 and hasn’t even finished school yet to get her teacher’s certificate in special education when, while working as a student teacher, met an 8th grade boy and drove him home and raped him over and over.
From NJ.Com here:
A student teacher at a Sussex County elementary school admitted having sexual encounters with a pupil in her car and in her bedroom prior to her arrest last week. In a videotaped interview with law enforcement officials, Lindsay Massaro, 23, a senior at Centenary College in Hackettstown, said one of the encounters occurred in her car in Branchville. During that encounter, the two performed sex acts on each other.
During another encounter, on the night of March 27, Massaro stated she picked the boy up and drove him to her house where they had sex “several times” in her bedroom. Massaro said she then drove the boy back to his home. Massaro was arrested March 30 and charged with second-degree sexual assault, third-degree endangering the welfare of a minor and fourth-degree criminal sexual contact.
Massaro admitted during her interview with police to having a “consensual sexual relationship” with the boy, whom she met and befriended while student-teaching.
As a student teacher, Massaro was working toward her state teaching certificate in special education.
Nice confession. It should make prosecuting this whore pretty easy. Most people have fast food careers that last longer than Massaro’s teaching career.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Islam Means Misogyny: Divorce by Text Message
Apr 9th
From the Fark article: I dvrc thee, i dvrc thee, i dvrc thee. lol kthxbye
From Reuters here:
A Saudi man has divorced his wife by text message. The man was in Iraq when he sent the SMS informing her she was no longer his spouse. He followed up with a telephone call to two of his relatives.
A court in the Red Sea city of Jeddah finalised the split — the first known divorce in Saudi Arabia by text message — after summoning the two relatives to check they had received word of the husband’s intention, the paper said. Under sharia law a man can divorce his wife by saying “I divorce you” three times.
The Saudi man was in Iraq to participate in jihad according to the Arab News. Many Saudis have gone to fight with al Qaeda militants against the Iraqi government and U.S. forces.
Way to render a woman instantly homeless. And I thought the war in Iraq was over according to Obama who is stepping up troop strength in Afghanistan.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...The Hologram Makes the Credit Card Authentic, Right?
Apr 9th
F-Secure has a great blog post up about a Chinese printing company that will sell you or any hacker authentic dove holograms just like the kind you find on a VISA card.
So rest assured that those carder gangs that steal credit card numbers can really duplicate a card for use on the streets.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Steinnon and Poulsen Call Shenanigans on WSJ Chinese Hacker Story
Apr 9th
There was a sensationalistic but poorly sourced story in the Wall Street Journal yesterday that declared that Chinese spies have hacked and pwn3d the US electrical grid and have left behind tools that will cause some unspecified damage to it. The story quotes all kinds of “senior officials” and “cyber experts” but fails to cite a single verifiable case of an intrusion.
Richard Steinnon poo poos the article by saying on his Threat Chaos blog here:
My reaction to the WSJ article was mostly anger over seeing a trumped up story with no sources, no evidence, and frankly, no news. The writers even had to go all the way back to the Australian hacker and the water reservoir story to site an example of someone hacking critical infrastructure. Ms. Gorman, intelligence correspondent for the WSJ, claims the story was not pitched to her. She “heard some things” about the power grid being hacked and investigated. I find it hard to believe the piece made it past her editors.
Steinnon also links to Kevin Poulsen who scoffed by saying:
The story contains almost no details at all. The attacks are “pervasive,” and yet not a single utility company is named as a victim. Even better, the blackout-triggering malware hasn’t been spotted by the companies — which explains perfectly why this is the first we’ve heard of it. Only America’s intelligence community has seen the code. They could show us, but then they’d have to kill us.
The unspoken lesson here is obvious: Chinese Superhackers Are Our Superiors. No, wait. That’s not it. I know … Only the intelligence agencies are equipped to protect us from foreign cyber attacks.
It’s an unusually opportune time for this revelation, since the NSA is at this very moment jockeying to take over cyber security from DHS, which lacks the wholesale warrantless-wiretapping capabilities needed to detect Chinese hackers. What a lucky coincidence of timing that this exciting, if uncheckable, story should emerge now.
Look, Chinese hackers are indeed pervasive, but the electrical grid is protected by some of the best cyber experts in the country. They have been working with the Department of Homeland Security to map their critical infrastructure and put in layers of defense to keep them safe. Hundreds of millions of dollars have been spent on this. To declare now that none of those efforts have paid off is not only disengenuous but it also makes me want those tax dollars back.
And why go through the effort of trying to attack the grid with cyber attacks anyways? Well-placed explosive charges on those high-tension power lines are much more effective, and there are any number of domestic eco-warrior groups that could be paid to do that for the Chinese.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...C02 is Harmless According to Latest NASA Study- Its The Soot, Stupid.
Apr 9th
Finally there is some research out of NASA Goddard that makes a little bit of sense. In a new study by Drew Shindell, Arctic temperatures may have been rising due more to cleaner air than due to any possible effect of C02, which is an invisible gas. Simply put, with less sulfates and aerosols in the air to block the sun, the Arctic has experienced a warming trend.
From the Reg here:
New research from NASA suggests that the Arctic warming trend seen in recent decades has indeed resulted from human activities: but not, as is widely assumed at present, those leading to carbon dioxide emissions. Rather, Arctic warming has been caused in large part by laws introduced to improve air quality and fight acid rain.
Dr Drew Shindell of NASA’s Goddard Institute of Space Studies has led a new study which indicates that much of the general upward trend in temperatures since the 1970s – particularly in the Arctic – may have resulted from changes in levels of solid “aerosol” particles in the atmosphere, rather than elevated CO2.
Sulfates, which come primarily from the burning of coal and oil, scatter incoming solar radiation and have a net cooling effect on climate.
the US National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration have said that aerosol levels from dust storms and volcanoes alone would account for as much as 70 per cent of the temperature rise seen in the Atlantic ocean during the past 26 years, leaving carbon simply nowhere.
Meanwhile Dr Shindell’s position at NASA’s Goddard Institute in New York must now be a potentially stressful one. His boss, Dr James Hansen, is more or less the father of the carbon-driven global warming menace. He won’t be pleased at the suggestion that carbon emissions may not be such an overriding concern after all. Dr Hansen has even gone so far as to travel to the UK, to add his weight to protests against the Kingsnorth coal plant.
I still find it incredulous that human activity of any sort could raise or lower the world’s temperature. But it does stand to reason that as less particles are in the air to block the sun that certain regions may experience a temperature change. And likewise, the simple explanation that there are less disasters that put particles in the air could also explain the warming. Consider that with mankind spread out like we are, forest fires do not have quite the impact they would before the industrial revolution.
I am also looking forward to hearing about any political fallout due to Shindell working for Hansen. Leftists were fond of screaming that Bush was suppressing science because he refused to buy into the glabal warming alarmism. Will Hansen likewise attempt to debunk his own colleague’s findings?
I forwarded this to HotAir as a tip and they picked it up.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...LOL Whut?
Apr 8th
This is one of those bizarre things you just find lying around on the intertubes. It’s Obi Wan doing a Force Push with some bizarre results. And the music is a bit of a stupid earworm. Enjoy if you can.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 820 to HomeSchool: Cockroaches in the Cafeteria Smarter Than the Teachers
Apr 8th
More proof that your nine-year-old is smarter than his teacher: Irish schools are pushing for a UK-wide ban on all radio-based telecommunications in schools- such as wi-fi, baby monitors, and cell phones. Why? Because they are retards who believe deep down that all this technology will make the kids sterile, inattentive in class and induce cancer. Next they will be forcing the kids to wear tin-foil hats to block the harmful radio-waves.
From the DailyMail here:
Wireless ‘wi-fi’ technology should be removed from schools to prevent millions of children suffering a heightened risk of cancer and sterility, teachers demanded yesterday. The Association of Teachers and Lecturers called for classroom wireless networks to be suspended immediately until research has properly considered the threat to health.
Members said they were concerned by scientific reports linking wi-fi with impaired concentration, loss of short-term memory, chromosome damage and increased incidence of cancer.
But there have been no long-term studies into the health effects, they said, even though 70 per cent of secondary schools and 50 per cent of primaries have already introduced it.
Colin Kinney, Cookstown High School, in Cookstown, Northern Ireland, who highlighted the issue at the ATL’s annual conference, cited international experts who had called for caution when introducing wi-fi technology.
He said research from Sweden had warned about the increased cancer risk and the Government there now funds shielding agents, such as foil covered rooms and anti-radiation point.
Mr Kinney said a Government scientist from Austria had called for wi-fi to be removed from schools claiming there was evidence of ‘increased symptoms as well as increased cancer rates’.
“Are our pupils going to thank us in the years to come if they have become sterile or suffer from cancer, brought on by or exacerbated by the exposure to wi-fi?”
Hey Colin Kinney: You are a simpleton who should be barred from teaching. You have no proof whatsoever that radio waves induce any harmful effects to humans. But bad science taught in school harms us all. For your information, the World Health Organization has stated that there are no health risks associated with any electro-magnetic fields or wi-fi signals. Why do you need another report?
EMF signals are all around us. Radio waves, TV signals, garage door openers, cordless phones and the list goes on and on. Are you going to ban all of those too? Idiot.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Dangerous Homosexual Child Molester Sentenced to 70 Years
Apr 8th
Remember this little gay child molester? After serving time for propositioning a child in Oklahoma, Neil Rodreick, 29, traveled with his gay lovers to Arizona where he enrolled himself in elementary school as a 12 year-old so he could prey on other little kids.
Justice was served when he was slapped with a 70 year prison sentence where he will spend his remaining days being a willing geesh bucket for other inmates. From NPR here:
A youthful-looking sex offender who posed as a 12-year-old boy to enroll in several Arizona schools was sentenced Tuesday to 70 1/2 years in prison.
Neil Havens Rodreick II pleaded guilty last year to seven criminal charges. Most involved child pornography, but two stemmed from the charade he pulled off for two years.
Rodreick attended schools in Surprise, Payson and Prescott Valley starting in 2005. Authorities said he shaved and wore makeup to help him appear younger, convincing teachers, students and administrators that he was a boy named Casey.
He was caught in January 2007 after spending a day in the seventh grade at a Chino Valley school when school officials became suspicious because his birth certificate and other documents looked forged. They had initially thought they might be dealing with a child who had been abducted.
Authorities didn’t find any victims of sexual abuse at the schools Rodreick attended, but they found an extensive collection of child pornography at his home.
Rodreick originally faced 28 counts but pleaded guilty to only a quarter of them: four counts of sexual exploitation of a minor stemming from the pornography, and one count each of failure to register as a sex offender, fraud and simple assault. The assault charge involved an allegation that he grabbed a girl’s buttocks at a school in Prescott Valley with the intent to injure, insult or provoke.
Before coming to Arizona, Rodreick was convicted in Oklahoma of lewdly propositioning a 6-year-old boy in 1996. He served about six years in prison.
Apparently Rodreick was pretending to be a 12-year-old with his perverted lovers too, who were stunned and angered when they found out he was almost 30.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Turkish TV Mocks Obama With Blackface
Apr 8th
A television program in Turkey recently featured a commentator dressed in blackface in a side-by-side split with Obama. Shock and outrage ensues in the US by the insensitivity of it, but I think its okay because I respect other peoples’ culture. In Turkish culture, it is okay to mock foreign leaders in blackface, so who am I to judge?
Actually, the fact that eastern Europeans and Asians (arabs) don’t know this behavior is insulting and wrong is not their fault. In fact, I was floored on my recent trip to Jordan when some of the locals I was talking with always used the word “niggers” to refer to anyone from America with black skin. In fact, they were absolutely convinced that blacks in America are all in violent street gangs and hold their handguns sideways. After all, that’s what they always see in American movies. Also, they hear blacks in those same movies refer to each other constantly as “nigger” as well in American popular music.
So it’s no wonder that they act this way. Blame Hollywood who has been irresponsibily portraying blacks as criminals and violent thugs, not the foreign cultures who simply don’t know any better.
The TV program referenced above ended with a shot of two young black girls, supposedly Malia and Natasha Obama, doing “double dutch” jump rope on what was supposed to be the White House driveway. Not really.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Vegan Buddhists Pummel Their Toddler for Eating Meat
Apr 7th
Vegans abusing children? What a shock! Meet Jacky Tran. Really, that’s his name. The only Kung-Fu he uses is on three year olds when they are caught eating meat. He nearly crushed the skull of his own child for doing so, claiming that the meat caused his kid to be possessed by a demon.
From the Chron here with thanks to Trench:
Both parents of a 3-year-old Houston boy beat him with bamboo sticks and poked his feet with chopsticks in a violent attempt to remove demons from his body. The parents, devout Buddhists and vegetarians, believed demons entered the boy through meat he ate.
Phung Tran, 36, and her husband, Jacky Tran, 35, are charged with injury to a child with serious bodily injury, a first-degree felony. He was arrested at the scene, but his wife was charged Monday. Both face up to life in prison if convicted.
Police visited the Tran’s home after 7 p.m. Saturday after a security alarm sounded. When they arrived, all the windows were open and Buddhist chants were blaring from within. Through an upstairs window, Jacky Tran could be seen repeatedly punching down with his fist. During a lull in the loud music, deputies heard a child screaming. Inside, they found the naked, battered, barely conscious boy in his mother’s arms in the bathtub.
The beating left the little boy unresponsive, his head maroon from bruising, his eyes nearly swollen shut. Medics flew the boy to the hospital, where he was being treated for multiple skull fractures. Officials said he is expected to survive.
Child Protective Services has placed the couple’s older daughter in foster care and planned to ask a judge for custody of both children.
What pleasant parents. I really hope the kids get a chance to live in a loving home where they can eat some cheeseburgers. For more uplifting stories about vegans and their precious children click here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...No Wonder GM is Going Bankrupt
Apr 7th
Behold the latest horrific trend in personalized mobility- the PUMA, or the “Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility.” It is a cross-breed abomination by GM and Segway. The PUMA, (pronounced Fah’-Güh-Tree) is designed to make those fools who bought the overpriced SMART cars during the height of gasoline price spike feel safe behind the wheel.
Ever notice all the car safety crash tests on TV don’t include the Smart Car? That’s because the Smart Car doesn’t crumple to preserve the driver at all, and it doesn’t even have airbags. Upon impact, the car simply and conveniently, converts to a wooden box in the shape of a coffin for ease of burial or cremation. Now the PUMA comes along without any sort of passenger cabin at all and it can do up to 35 MPH on the roads. Truckers have been warned by the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) that after striking one of these tiny vehicles, they should immediately stop their trucks and replace their divot. (Its a golf joke.)
Anyways, what makes the PUMA so ultimately gay is the operations of the tiny car. The operation is demonstrated below by Mr. Garrison of the town of South Park, Colorado.
Thanks to [GAS] and Moonbattery for the story.
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(2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 6) Loading ...1 PM Music: 22-20s – Devil In Me
Apr 7th
My kid loves helicopters, and if you do a youtube search for helicopter you get a video with a Redbull Helicopter that does loops and backflips. The background track is some hard charging guitar riffs by the 22-20′s. So in a way, I guess this is one of my kid’s favorite tunes nowadays. Enjoy.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Welcome to Costco!
Apr 7th
So if this is her first name, what is her nickname?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Gwynneth Paltrow’s Shampoo Makes Her Retarded
Apr 6th
Gwynneth Paltrow is a complete nutjob and should be charged with child abuse for the stupid way she is raising her two children, Apple and Moses, on organic macrobiotic vegan diets. Those kids will have stunted growth to go along with their deficient brainpower that they sadly inherited from their twat of a mother. Gwynny’s latest campaign is against shampoo because she thinks they may cause autism, and besides, she can’t pronounce any of the words on the label anyways, so they must be bad for you.
Yeah shampoo is bad, but using a stupid new age treatment of “cupping” in which toxins are supposedly drawn to the surface as giant hickies of contusions, which could break apart beneath the skin, travel to the heart and kill you is just fine.
From the DailyMail here with thanks to RightRant and Moonbattery:
Gwyneth Paltrow has been branded ‘loopy’ by scientists after warning that products such as shampoo could be linked to cancer.
The actress and wife of Coldplay singer Chris Martin says she was ‘seized with fear’ after reading research about what she calls ‘environmental toxins’ – chemicals which are present in everyday items.
Paltrow said children were unable to easily break down toxins and claimed the number of children getting cancer and autism was growing ‘exponentially’.
Leading bacteriologist Professor Hugh Pennington described her claims as ‘rubbish’ and ‘loopy’.
Miss Paltrow, 36, has embraced an alternative lifestyle, raising her children, Apple and Moses, on a macrobiotic diet which excludes foods such as cheese and white flour in favour of grains, vegetables and beans.
Miss Paltrow also said, “Ever read the chemical ingredients list on your shampoo or lotion? Not an easy task. Sixty per cent of what goes on the skin is absorb [sic] into the body – so avoiding chemicals here is super important, especially for pregnant moms.”
I have written before that Gwynny has a level of intelligence just below that of a naked mole rat. She continues to prove me right.
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(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 6) Loading ...Is the Time Right for Drive-In Movies?
Apr 6th
For the past few years I have talked with friends about what a cool idea it would be to bring back the Drive-In Theater. I remember with fondness how Mom and Dad would dress us in PJ’s at 7 PM and we would go to the local Drive-In in the station wagon to see a double feature- typically a kid’s Disney-type movie (I remember Hawmps) followed by something more geared for the grown-ups.
Back then the sound for the movie was piped into the car by a lame metal box that you hung on the inside of the driver’s window. There was no such thing as stereo sound and sometimes the box crackled and hissed which made the movie hard to hear.
But now with local FM broadcasting methods, you could easily pipe surround sound into a car radio over the FM band. Concessions could be handled by the central kiosk or by waitresses called up by SMS text messaging. Once you solve the sound problem and work out a good way to get fresh concessions to the guests, all you need a is big plot of land and a giant movie screen.
A couple in Virginia have decided to go for it. From WTOP here:
A couple of Virginia entrepreneurs say they’re planning to open a drive-in movie theater this summer.
John Heidel says he and his wife have been dreaming about opening a drive-in for years and finally decided to go for it.
Heidel says the Goochland Drive-In will open in June or July on a 10-acre site just off Interstate 64 in Hadensville.
Heidel says the theater will have about 340 parking spaces and will play first-run movies on a 90-foot screen. Viewers will be able to tune in the sound on their FM radios.
The Heidels plan to start nightly double features at dusk. They haven’t set prices yet, though Heidel says tickets will be $6 to $7 for adults and about $3 for children.
Thanks to Dan for the story. For my readers- do you have memories of Drive-In theaters, or do you think this is a good idea? Anyone still have Drive-In movies in their area?
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...
