I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for October, 2009
331 PM Fun Music: Bernard Cribbins – “Right Said Fred”
Oct 31st
I don’t know how I stumbled onto this cute lego animation, and I have never heard of this song before. But it reminds me of so many of my own household projects. Except replace tea with beer.
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Loading ...Happy Halloween From the Kennedy Compound
Oct 31st
As a reminder, this Halloween, don’t drink and drive and then get elected to the Senate, die from a hilarious combination of swimmer’s ear and brain cancer, and then come back to life as a flesh-eating zombie who increases your taxes. Please, just don’t. This is a public service announcement from Belch.Com
You’re welcome.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Golden Tee Punkinhead
Oct 30th
If you play Golden Tee Golf 2010 before midnight on November 1, you can enter a special code to dress your golfer in a Halloween Pumpkinhead costume.
From Goldentee here:
The promo code works in both Golden Tee 2009 and Golden Tee 2010. To enter it simply hit the “Options” button at any point during the game and highlight and select “Give Away Code.”
You’ll then be prompted to enter a 10-digit code to receive the clothing items. From there simply type in 04B0000000 (a zero, a four, the letter B, and seven zeros) and you will receive one of three items! The give away code may be entered up to three times for the entire Halloween wardrobe – so be sure to enter it three separate times!
I think I know what I’ll be doing tonight! thanks to Dan for the heads up!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...I Just Threw Up in My Mouth a Little
Oct 29th
Rosie O’Donnell, the fat lesbian whose own marriage is crumbling in front of the 4 kids she’s adopted or created with invitro fertilization, claims she and Angelina Jolie almost hooked up. Click on their pics to hear their celebrity burps.
From EntertainmentWise here:
Rosie O’Donnell claims she almost went on a date with Angelina Jolie several years ago – but was scared off by the Hollywood star’s rampant sexuality.
The unlikely couple began a flirty phone relationship after the actress split from first husband Jonny Lee Miller in 1997, according to the US comedienne.
“Angie did call me and we talked,” said Rosie. “She suddenly said, ‘I wanna come see you.’”
Ther former host of The View – who is married to her long-term female partner Kelli Carpenter – says that, although they talked about a date, she was “afraid’ Angelina.
She explains: “There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of her. She’s scary in a sexual kind of way.”
I regurgitated my chicken salad. Anyone have a mint?
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...James Ray Believes Jewish Holocaust Was a Good Thing
Oct 29th
James Ray, moonbat messiah and new age guru, told ABC News that his belief in the law of attraction- that positive feelings and thoughts brings prosperity- also means that the victims of the holocaust and 9/11 had it coming because they attracted the tragedy upon themselves.
Click the image to see the video.
Meanwhile, James Ray has cancelled the rest of his national tour this year. He had previously said that the message he spreads is too important to quit, despite the deaths in the Arizona sweat lodge. I guess the message ain’t that important after all.
From ABC here:
When dozens of fans and supporters for James Arthur Ray showed up for one of his events in Toronto Wednesday night, they were greeted by a handwritten sign saying the event had been canceled. At the time no explanation was given, but one of Ray’s former mentors, Bob Proctor, apparently convinced Ray to cancel the seminar just hours before it was scheduled to start.
In a post on his Web site today, Ray said he is postponing the rest of his events for the year to help “get to the bottom” of the incident in Sedona, Ariz., earlier this month in which three people died after attending one of his seminars in a sweat lodge.
“These families deserve to have the questions raised by the tragedy answered as quickly and authoritatively as possible,” Ray writes on the Web site. “It’s now clear I must dedicate all of my physical and emotional energies to helping bring some sort of closure to this matter.”
James Arthur Ray’s self-help star rose dramatically in 2006 with the best-selling book “The Secret,” which preaches “The Law of Attraction,” the idea that people can attract anything they want — money, love, improved health — through the power of thoughts.
“In simple terms, if you are constantly thinking, feeling and acting broke, then you’re never going to attract prosperity into your life,” Ray told ABC News. Ray defended “The Secret” against critics who asked if the victims of 9/11 or the Holocaust are to blame for simply thinking incorrectly.
“I know people of the Jewish faith and heritage who don’t necessarily believe the Holocaust was bad,” Ray said. “Now that might be shocking to you but I have people on record who have said, hey there’s a lot of good things that came out of that, a lot of lessons, a lot of opportunities for the world. “
So to James Ray, six million jews attracted death because they didn’t walk on fire, sit in sweat lodges, think positive thoughts and fork over 10,000 bucks each for new age training. And, I suppose, James Shore, Kirby Brown and Liz Neuman were also ninnies who thought about dying too much and attracted their own demise.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Get in Line. Bend Over. Now Cough.
Oct 29th
This is what life will be like if you get sick under Obamacare.
The democrats resurrected government-run healthcare that is designed to crush private insurance, stifle medical innovation and tax the holy bejeezus out of you and your progeny.
The 894 Billion dollar program (just for starting it up!) can be downloaded here. But be warned, its 2000 pages long. Michelle Malkin has more.
Remember the long lines of people trying to get a flu shot? Now imagine that those shots are distributed with all of the efficiency of a DMV visit. This is your future.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Indonesian Women Who Wear Pants are Whores
Oct 29th
Thus saith the Muslim overlords in Banda Aceh. In fact, I think that they believe that Allah wiped out their island in 2004 because their women are whorish and must change their ways to prevent similar tragedies.
An entire family of whores flaunt their tight pants. Allah hates them.
From and approving Reuters here:
Women may soon be banned from wearing tight trousers in parts of an Indonesian province that practices strict Islamic law, and offenders could see their attire cut up.
Aceh is the only province in predominantly Muslim Indonesia to use Islamic sharia for its legal code. The previous provincial government passed a controversial law in September allowing adulterers to be stoned to death.
Now Ramli Mansyur, regent of a district in West Aceh, said on Tuesday he plans to introduce a regulation forcing women to wear Muslim dress.
“Trousers are allowed, as long as the woman also wears a long skirt down to her ankles,” he said. “The fashion has become too open, and it embarrasses me.”
7,000 skirts are to be set aside for women who cannot afford to buy such attire.
Islam is all about keeping the bitches in line. Allah has a strong pimp hand, and Mohammad often slept with children.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Fetal Fluid Facials for Females
Oct 29th
Eeeewww! A cosmetic company has ground up aborted fetuses for use in face cream.
From Gateway Pundit here via Red Alerts:
Neocutis, a bio-pharmaceutical company focused on dermatology and skin care is using aborted fetal cell lines to produce several of their anti-aging skin creams.
Neocutis’ key ingredient known as “Processed Skin Proteins” was developed at the University of Luasanne from the skin tissue of a 14-week gestation electively-aborted male baby donated by the University Hospital in Switzerland.
Women have long allowed themselves to be guineapigs for pharmaceuticals and cosmetic companies. But is this a step too far?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Brooks Catsup Water tower in Collinsville, Illinois
Oct 28th
I was looking for a Golden Tee Golf machine last night and encountered a gigantic ketchup bottle floating in the rainy night sky. This is a disguised water tower and a treasure of roadside Americana.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Arnold Sends a Message
Oct 28th
A California assemblyman, who heckled Republican California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, received a specially crafted message in the veto note of his pet project bill, effectively shooting down a request to modify a San Fran shipyard district into new waterfront housing. And its classic Arnold too, the best message since Commando.
From the hilarious story at Fox News here:
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger typically attaches a message to bills he signs or vetoes telling lawmakers why he took the action.
A Democratic assemblyman who heckled the governor during a recent event in San Francisco actually received two messages: the veto letter itself and a not-so-subtle rebuke creatively hidden within it.
Like a find-the-word puzzle, the second message was visible by stringing together the first letter of each line down the left-hand margin. It consisted of a common four-letter vulgarity followed by the letters “y-o-u.”
“My goodness. What a coincidence,” said Schwarzenegger spokesman Aaron McLear. “I suppose when you do so many vetoes, something like this is bound to happen.”
Here is the Commando line:
Many thanks to Robb for the story!
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Five Virginia Prison Guards Play “Red Rocket” With K9 Units
Oct 28th
Prison Guards aren’t highly sophisticated people. But still, they should know better than this. Five guards were busted jerking off a dog.
From Starexponent.Com here:
Five Virginia Department of Corrections officers have been charged with animal cruelty involving the fondling of a K-9 dog and videotaping the two incidents.
All five officers were training at the Academy for Staff Development in Goochland County to become K-9 handlers.
Powhatan Commonwealth’s Attorney Robert B. Beasley Jr. said one guard “allegedly had some sexual contact with the animal.“ The male dog, a German shepherd or shepherd mix, was not harmed, he said.
“Essentially, he was touching the dog’s penis with his hand,“ Beasley said. “The others were there filming it. That’s actually how we learned of it — there’s a video.“
Terry N. Grimes, a Roanoke attorney representing the accused, said his client planned to plead not guilty but admitted to fondling the animal.
“I would characterize it as hazing,“ he said, claiming that the guard was told by the others, “If you masturbate your K-9 unit, you’ll have greater control over it.“
Hmm, the animal wasn’t hurt, but he is now a faithful friend. By the way, Goochland was the location of Michael Vick’s incarceration. I guess they know how to treat dogs there.
Approves.
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(2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 6) Loading ...8 PM Music: Loudon Wainwright III – “Gray in L.A.”
Oct 27th
This song sums up my feelings on a rainy night. Enjoy. Check out LW3′s website here.
Loudon Wainwright III – Gray in LA
Uploaded by evilosity. – Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 730 to HomeSchool: Your Daughter Won’t Get Gang Raped at Homecoming
Oct 27th
Granted, if you are homeschooling, you will avoid dances altogether, but now with the added benefit of avoiding gang rape. A girl was gang raped on school property in Richmond, California. Students and teens in the area stood around cheering and taking pictures on their cellphone cameras.
The school’s response is to blame the parents for not picking up the students. And school surveillance cameras are broken and won’t be fixed until next week.
The shocking story from ABC here:
An official with the school district where a 15-year-old girl was brutally gang raped outside the homecoming dance defended school security, saying that when the students leave the dance, “we don’t take them home.”
As many as 20 people may have either watched or participated in a vicious rape of the Richmond High School teenager that lasted for more than two hours in a dimly lit corner of the sprawling campus.
Rather than call for help, some of the students took pictures. Police have arrested two suspected rapists but believe that between four and seven people could have participated while as many as a dozen stood and watched.
The school spokesman said it’s up to parents to make sure their children get safely home from these types of dances. The spokesman added, “The dance itself was a success in terms of safety. Nothing happened at the event. We’re currently exploring our protocols to make sure that we can expand them, and make sure that this isolated incident doesn’t get repeated again.”
The girl left the high school’s homecoming dance alone around 9:30 p.m. Saturday to get a ride home with her dad. Instead, she met up with a group of people who were drinking on the edge of campus.
The series of events that occurred over the next 2½ hours got more severe and more vicious to where she was ultimately gang raped and beaten, and her injuries were so severe that she had to be sent to the hospital in a helicopter. Police officers found the girl semi-conscious, curled up near a lunch table.
School officials had recently approved a “very costly” security system, but that it had not yet been installed. Security cameras already installed in the school are not believed to be functional, he said, but there were no cameras pointed at the spot where the rape happened.
Richmond High School has a banner outside naming it “most improved.“
What a successful dance! Only one girl was nearly murdered due to sexual assault and rape. Most improved indeed!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Gray in St.Louis
Oct 27th
Gray in St.Louis, originally uploaded by BelchSpeak.
Grim and chilly weather welcomes me back to St.Louis for work this week. In case new content is slow coming check out my archives.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...James Ray Stole Hawaiian Mysticism Too
Oct 27th
More and more is leaking out about the moonbattery that New Age Guru and con man James Ray pushed on his followers. From this telling interview below, former follower and still nutbag Mickey Reynolds says that James Ray had his followers walk across coals and that James Ray studied with a Hawaiian Kahuna, or magician.
In fact, on James Ray’s tour schedule here, he claims that he has also studied and mastered Kaballah and Brazilian magick (spelled with a k to add more phear!) too. And you can learn this magick for 5,700 bucks!
Now just suppose you could experience and connect physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually with a Higher Power that can bring anything into your life that you desire….
Imagine for a moment that you could connect with this Higher Power so completely that you could access it anytime… anywhere.
How incredibly would that
impact every area of your life?
With Modern Magick you’ll have all that and more.I’ve studied with the Qu’ero Shaman in Peru (the only direct descendents of the Inca), the Brazilian Shaman in the deep jungles and rainforests, the ancient Kahuna of Hawai’i as well as many Native American traditions. My search has also led me to the esoteric schools of Qabalah (or Kabbalah), the mystical temples of Egypt, the ancient mystery schools and ceremonial magick. While their terminology and approaches may be slightly different, they all hold the same fundamental truths.
Modern Magick synthesizes all of these great
traditions into a practical format for present-day life.By applying timeless wisdom in a contemporary way, Modern Magick gives you the answers to these questions and the tools to transform the fabric of your world.
Let’s take off the restraints and get started.
You owe it to the rest of your life to get to Modern Magick as quickly as you can. The investment is ONLY $5695 per person.
What a giant crock of bullshit.
As soon as James Ray began to make it big, he bought fast cars and started snorting coke off of whore’s asses. If you believe any of this that James Ray says, you are a moron. Yes, you really are. James Ray’s publisher has cancelled new runs of his books since he killed three of his idiot followers in Arizona. Refer to my now updated list here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Surely the Trinket Jests
Oct 26th
I don’t know why, but Jess sometimes buys little hats and makes Trinket wear them. Trinket complains and Jess beams with smiles. I suggested using the staple gun to help keep it on but Jess shot that idea down quickly.
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...Dirty Spammers Use FDIC Tricks
Oct 26th
Noticed this email in my spam folder, which is an attempt to trick unsuspecting people into downloading trojan horse programs and exploiting their computer.
You have received this message because you are a holder of a FDIC-insured bank account.
Recently FDIC has officially named the bank you have opened your account with as a failed bank, thus, taking control of its assets.You need to visit the official FDIC website and perform the following steps to check your Deposit Insurance Coverage:
The email then includes a link purporting to be FDIC’s website, but in my case, was a server in the UK. Which, at time of this writing is still active and hosting two downloadable trojans.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Shell Shocked Sweat Lodge Survivor Mourns Abandonment by James Ray
Oct 24th
Dr. Beverley Bunn, an orthodontist from Texas is lucky to be alive. She is an avid follower of New Age guru James Ray, and managed to survive the sweat lodge ordeal of her so-called “Spiritual Warrior” training. James Shore, Kirby Brown and Liz Neuman were not so lucky. Here she is on CBS describing the experience and her feelings on the matter. Watch closely as the woman struggles to form sentences and then breaks down, not at the loss of three fellow New Age nutbags, but at how betrayed she feels because her religious leader James Ray fled the scene.
My wife watched this and described Beverley Bunn as a “broken woman.” And her speech affectation, and how she rolled her eyes upward to access verbal memory, reminded her of “Stands with a Fist” from the Dances With Wolves movie- someone who is struggling to form words. Of course Stands with a Fist was a fictional character. I don’t know why Dr. Bunn speaks in a disjointed, chanting fashion.
“No one can leave when the door is closed, no one can leave when the door is closed,” she is heard mumbling with no emotional reaction on her face. She describes people in wretched states, covered in mucous and eyes rolling back in her head as if she is describing how to weave straps of plants material into a basket. She even chants how she “coached” people in pairs- “I went to one person and paired them up, I went to another person and paired them up…”
But when she describes how she felt- she had no concern for the dead and dying. Only the pain of betrayal and loss due to James Ray abandoning her! She reacts as if she was just spurned by a lover.
Clearly this woman has suffered severe trauma. She is psychologically broken and has problems associating with reality. She needs professional counseling, specifically by someone who has experience in deprogramming victims of cults. But whether she is nutty because of her immersion into the James Ray New Age dogma, or acts this way due to her recent trauma, I can’t venture to guess. But it is clear that her concern is the loss of James Ray as a leader.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Crime is Bad in Baltimore. But Bail is Good
Oct 24th
Jesus Christ can spring you from the poke.
And check out his sign:
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(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...4 PM Music: Brendan Benson – “A Whole Lot Better”
Oct 23rd
Brendan Benson is an awesome musician. Check out his acoustic version of his hit song:
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