I can't believe that came from your mouth!
fail
Neil Young Lost Third of Memoribilia to His Own Moonbattery
Nov 16th
I hope Neil Young will remember that southern men make the best mechanics. Not leftist hippies from the gayest location in North America. In a hilarious turn of events, Neil Young’s bio-fueled 1959 Lincoln Continental caugh fire in his warehouse and destroyed a third of all of his collectibles stored there.
From the AP here:
A fire at a warehouse that stored memorabilia belonging to Neil Young started in a vintage car the singer had converted into a hybrid vehicle.
The fire began in Young’s 1959 Lincoln Continental and spread to the nearby warehouse in the San Francisco Bay area. Young had converted the car to run on batteries and a biodiesel-powered generator as part of his LincVolt project to create the world’s most efficient full-size vehicle.
Fire crews were able to save about 70 percent of the warehouse’s contents, including other cars and music equipment belonging to Young.
How much carbon do you think Neil released into the air by setting his garage on fire? Even more hilarious is his last album was called “Neil’s Garage.” Album’s totally hot. LOL
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Shaping Childhood Sexuality- You Need a Book for This?
Nov 15th
Saw this on Tosh. Oh my. Judging the book by this cover, I guess you are supposed to do manly things with your boy like chopping wood and strike manly poses?
Gotta love the review posted here at Amazon:
As the recent father of a bouncing baby boy I have spent night after night tossing and turning, wondering if my actions were making my son gay. Should I bath him or should the wife bath him? If he accidentally sees me naked will he turn gay? Do I beat him for looking at a doll or do I just take the doll away and not feed him for the rest of the day?
Well, finally I can sleep tight. Thanks to Mr Rekers I can put my son on the road to heterosexuality. You can’t believe the weight that was lifted from my chest when I found out that I would have no awkward moments trying to explain to people why my son doesn’t play football and beat up fags with the rest of the boys.
If you just couldn’t possibly love your son unless he is 100% heterosexual, then this book is for you!
And it turns out the author of this book was recently busted going on a European vacation with a young male gay escort. Rekers is supposed to be a provider of a clinical cure to homosexuality.
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Its Official: The TSA Considers Americans its Enemies
Nov 14th
I have been patted down in airports abroad. Its not a big deal, and in fact, it goes quicker than the hoops the TSA make us jump through at our own airports here in America. The way it works over there, you send you things through an xray and then walk through a metal detector. If it goes off, you stand still and they wand you and pat down your legs, ribs and behind your back. If they don’t find anything suspicious, you move on. Easy.
But this guy went through a nightmare by refusing to be sexually molested by the obviously gay TSA agents at San Diego. They demanded to touch his cock and balls and he told them no. And it looks like he could end up facing a fine of 10,000 dollars now. He offered to go through the metal detectors- as everyone has done countless times both before and after 9/11. But they insisted on fondling him as a condition of him boarding an airplane.
Even in Afghanistan, our soldiers are forbidden to perform the same types of inspection on Afghanistani women and children! US Army in a war, no. American citizens flying to Ft. Lauderdale? Oh hell yes!
The TSA, in their refusal to use good judgement to find out who is smuggling weapons and bombs onto airplanes (hint: Arab males who are muslim!), have simply made the entire travelling public not only under suspicion, but now their enemies.
Can’t we please put these gay rodeo clowns out of business? Fire the TSA now.
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Cyber Lefty Jailed for Bill O’Reilly DDoS Attack
Nov 9th
An idiot hacker wannabe acquired access to a botnet to shutdown Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter and Rudy Giuliani’s websites back in 2007. He also shutdown his own school in a clumsy attack that ultimately led to his arrest. Why was he so stupid? Smoking Dope methinks.
From NetworkWorld here:
Mitchell Frost, a 23-year-old Bellevue, Ohio, man has been sentenced to 30 months in prison following a 2007 online crime spree in which he used a network of hacked computers to attack and knock offline websites belonging to conservative pundits Bill O’Reilly and Ann Coulter.
Mitchell Frost must also pay US$40,000 in restitution to O’Reilly and $10,000 to the University of Akron, where he was enrolled at the time of the hacking.
He used the school’s computer network to control a botnet he’d built up between August 2006 and March 2007, and launched denial of service (DOS) attacks against Rudy Giuliani’s Joinrudy2008.com website, Billoreilly.com and Anncoulter.com.
The University of Akron was disrupted too, when Frost knocked its network offline for eight-and-a-half hours while trying to DOS-attack a gaming server hosted by the university. That happened on March 14, 2007. Frost’s dorm room was raided two weeks later.
Frost set up the Discountjwh.com website earlier this year after quitting his job as a Stanley Steemer carpet cleaning technician. JWH is a form of synthetic cannabis that is legal for sale in some U.S. states, including Ohio.
Stupid lefty. Put down the bong and realize that people have free speech in this country. You can’t even get a job with Stanley Steemer these days with a college credit in Ohio. LOL
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Bob Etheridge Now At Home Fighting Students
Nov 4th
Remember this douchenozzle? Bob Etheridge attacked two students for having the gall to ask him about his vote on Obamacare. He got voted out by the citizens of North Carolina and now he’s home whining about wanting a recount.
Gawker’s bitter about his loss, blaming cagey republicans for “setting up” an old coot who was forced to get violent with students. Those liberal tears taste yummy.
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Parenting Shocker
Nov 2nd
This is what your second grader is really learning at school: 2 in the Goo, 1 in the Poo.
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Sticks and Stones May Break Bones, But Words Get You Eaten By Lions
Nov 2nd
Some dumbass chef in South Africa came to work drunk, stood on the edge of the Lion Den at the zoo that employed him and verbally taunted the Lions. He sure didn’t think they could leap THAT high.
You know they weren’t lygers because you just don’t taunt a lyger.

From the NyDailyNews here:
Three lions pulled an inebriated worker who was taunting them into their enclosure and devoured him before his horrified friend.
Jan Bredenhand, who had been working as the restaurant manager for the Addo Croc and Lion Ranch near Port Elizabeth, South Africa, for just one month, returned from an all-night party Sunday morning and hopped on a gate around the lions enclosure when he was attacked.
A witness told police that the 30-year-old and one of his friends provoked the lions with loud taunts.
The friend, identified only as “Simon,” ran for help and brought back several tourists who were staying in a nearby chalet.
“It was horrific,” one of the tourists, Veluchia Hassim told South Africa’s News 24 TV. “The one lion was gnawing on his ribs when we got there.”
Tourism in South Africa must be pretty good if you get dragged by locals to watch their friends get eaten by lions. Do you have to tip them in that situation? I’m just not so clear on African customs. Do you applaud the lions? Obviously you don’t boo them!
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Double Reverse Bullycide!
Oct 29th
Hunter Perkins, 16, drew some funny pictures of his gay friend and when he got in trouble for it, he “an heroed” himself.
From the Lowellsun here:
Hunter Perkins had been labeled a bully.
The Virginia boy, 16, a third-year student at the prestigious and private Groton School, was accused, along with two other boys, of harassing another student about his sexuality, according to his father, Walter Perkins. His father said he was told to come get Hunter immediately.
Within a week, Hunter Perkins would be dead.
Hunter’s father, Walter Perkins, of Chantilly, Va., said he drove 10 hours overnight to pick up his son Oct. 6 from the school’s infirmary.
The next five days would be hell for the Perkins family. Walter Perkins said he was angry with his son and the damage he had done to his future by allegedly joining with two other boys to create demeaning comics about another student.
Walter Perkins said he was in his bedroom, calling his daughter so that the family could get together to figure out what to do. (His wife died nine years ago.) “There was the crack of a gunshot in the basement,” Walter Perkins said.
The rest of the article documents how Walter Perkins blames the school for ejecting his son for bullying. Hunter’s Mom dying and being shipped off to Massachusetts to boarding school had nothing to do with it. And to have paid 50 Thousand dollars for the privilege of going to such a great school like Groton only to be kicked out a few weeks into the semester? Nah, Walter’s disappointment in his son couldn’t have been a contributing factor.
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Indonesian “Mystic” Destroyed in Hilarious Volcanic Burp
Oct 27th
Some Durka-Durka earth worshiping Muslim holy man trusted his faith that a volcanic mountain he lived on wouldn’t hurt him, despite the scientific warnings that the volcano of Merapi was going to erupt. So he refused to evacuate and was fried to a holy crisp much to my personal amusement.
From the Australian here:
The body of Mbah Maridjan, one of Indonesia’s most admired mystics, was found yesterday morning in his house in ash-blasted Umbulharjo village, prostrated as if in prayer.
Maridjan, 83, was entrusted with interpreting and placating Mount Merapi’s spirit and he refused to leave his village 6km south of the caldera.
While police yesterday afternoon were still holding off an official identification, village head Bejo Mulyo said: “We have lost him, he was our guide and now let us all pray for his soul.”
Leaving the mountain, Maridjan said, would break the oath he made when he was named Ki Surakso Hargo (Keeper of the Mountain, in Javanese) by Sultan Hamengkubuwono IX in 1982.
Tuesday evening, after three days of red alert and 42,000 people had been evacuated from a 10km radius around its slopes, Merapi began spewing pyroclastic flows.
A symbol of Islam Kejawen, traditional undogmatic Javanese Islam suffused with animism, the humble little keeper was also a man of his times.
Score another one for science! And of course hippies and eastern religious dolts are weeping for this almost-90 year old muslim. Tom Cruise is sad because Thetans jumped out of the volcano and got Maridjan, not fresh cleansing lava. And he wasn’t prostrated in prayer, he was trying to kiss his old ass bye-bye.
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When Keepin’ It Real Goes Wrong: Thug Fails to Mug Giant Tranny, Gets Three Years in Prison
Oct 26th
Rufus Bowman had a plan. It wasn’t much of one, but he was a drug addict and needed to score an easy hit. So while on bail for possession he used a gun to try to rob a fugly tranny. The tranny outweighed him by three weight classes, and beat the hell out of him, despite having been shot by Bowman. Then lots of other trannies jumped in and beat Bowman too. In the end Bowman was the one sentenced to three years in jail.
From Cinci.Com here:
Sixteen-year-old Rufus Bowman was looking for an easy victim, but he picked the wrong one during a July 13 incident.
Bowman was in the 200 block of West McMicken Avenue in Over-the-Rhine when, he approached Joshua Bumpus.
“Mr. Bumpus is a transvestite prostitute,” Nelson said. “He goes 6-(foot)-3, 280 (pounds) and was wearing a pink halter top and pumps.”Actually, jail records list Bumpus as 6-foot-1, 290 pounds.
The two men went into a nearby alley to transact business when Bowman pulled a gun.
The two men fought. The 5-foot-7, 230-pound Bowman fired his gun. The bullet hit Bumpus in the arm, went through and lodged near his ribs.
Even though he was shot, Bumpus continued fighting – and won.
“He got the gun away from (Bowman), he grabbed (Bowman) by the hair and beat him down. He beat the (daylights) out of him,” That’s about when several of Bumpus’ friends, also dressed as women, helped Bumpus beat Bowman.
Bowman pleaded guilty to felonious assault. Hamilton County Common Pleas Court Judge Robert Ruehlman sent Bowman to prison for three years.
There are packs of violent ugly trannies in Cincinatti. Didn’t Jerry Springer come from this town?
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So THATS What Dark Crystal is About
Oct 22nd
If you are a fan of the Dark Crystal, you gotta laugh at the channel guide description of the movie.

see more funny videos
Yeah, I suppose this could be a really dark allegorical docudrama of Meth Addicts. So are the Skeksis just horrid tweekers?
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Mountain Goat Gores Hiker and Has Hippie Staring Contest
Oct 19th
Ah life in the great suburban outdoors! 200 dollar Timberlands Hiking Boots, freeze dried snacks and a baggie of trail mix. Uh oh! Its a goat! It gored Old Man Boardman! Quick! Hippie Goat Staring Contest, GO!
From the AP here:
A mountain goat that fatally gored a hiker, then stood over the man and stared at people trying to help, had shown aggressive behavior in the past, Olympic National Park officials said Monday.
Robert Boardman, 63, of Port Angeles, died Saturday after he was attacked by the goat while hiking on the subalpine Switchback Trail in the park, which is about 85 miles west of Seattle.
Park rangers later found the goat, observed blood on it and shot the animal.
Rangers have been tracking the goat and others for the past four years because they have followed people or approached hikers without backing down.
Boardman was hiking with his wife, Susan Chadd, and their friend, Pat Willits, and had stopped for lunch at an overlook when the goat began acting aggressively toward them.
Boardman urged the others to go ahead while he tried to get rid of the goat, according to the paper. The two heard him yell and ran back to help.
Hikers who came upon the group radioed for help. But it took nearly an hour before rescuers could reach Boardman because the goat stood over him as he lay motionless on the ground.Boardman, a locally-known musician and diabetes educator, was an avid hiker who also worked for years as a nurse for the Makah and Lower Elwha Klallam tribes.
Those goats aren’t native to the region. Why bother tracking them for four years instead of just eliminating them? Three guys with guns could have solved this problem years ago. But it takes a male nurse to get gored to get the hippies in the PacNorWest to actually unlock a bullet and put it to good use.
And OMG the goat is staring at us! What shall we do? Seriously, hikers, if there are any animals in the area which might intimidate you, take a firearm along.
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Obama Rewriting Mythbusters Episodes
Oct 18th
Obama announced that he just finished taping a walk-on role in which he issues a Mythbusters challenge about an Archimedes Death Ray using reflected sunlight. Of course a leftist will love anything green, even if it is a weapon, but newsflash Barry. The Mythbusters already did this show. Twice! They did the original and then it was challenged by several teams thinking they could do the myth better.
From CNN here:
The science fair was part of Obama’s push to improve the performance of U.S. students in math and science as part of reforms intended to reclaim the nation’s standing as a world leader in education.
During the event, Obama announced he had taped a walk-on role for Discovery Channel’s “MythBusters” program. A news release from Discovery Channel said the program, to be broadcast in December, will challenge the ancient myth that Greek scientist Archimedes set fire to an invading Roman fleet using sunlight reflected by mirrors.
They did it in 2006. Wanna bust some myths? Show Jamie and Adam a copy of your birth certificate. We all want to believe.
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Glacier Snuggle Suits For Moonbats
Oct 14th
This is a real thing. Its a giant oven mit made for whackjob green environmental moonbats that want to be able to hump or hug or drool on those every quickly receding glaciers (LOL NOT) without letting their body heat contribute to melting them.
From ITP.nyu here:
This suit explores the avenue of “body” language and non-verbal communication. Intended for awkward introductory glacier encounters, it acts as an “ice breaker”, better enabling a person to lie prone on the surface of the glacier and give it a hug. Worn on the front of the body, the reflective padded material serves to mediate the difference in temperatures between the human body and the glacial ice.
I think the suit serves better as a profilactic keep the stink of patchouli oil and hemp smoke off of the glaciers. I wish to god polar bears would eat anyone trying to do this. And just how is the discerning urban dwelling moonbat supposed to get to a glacier to poke his ineffective wiener into it? On a bicycle? Or will they have to burn up loads of fossil fuels to get to one? But that’s okay, because Gaea understands.
Thanks to Michelle Malkin.
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This Will Teach the Kid not to Donate His Stuff
Oct 13th
I can has Red-Eared Slider?
From WFTV here:
A horrified 8-year-old boy watched as an alligator ate his pet turtle at a Panhandle aquarium.
Colton Guthrie had donated his pet red-eared slider, Tomalina, to the Gulfarium in Panama City when she outgrew her home aquarium. Colton’s mother told the Panama City News Herald on Tuesday that the family watched as Tomalina was placed in an exhibit with other red-eared sliders and an alligator.
Although the alligator had long ignored the other turtles, Brenda Guthrie said the gator ate Tomalina as Colton shouted, “Oh no, alligator, let it go.”
The Gulfarium apologized to the Guthries’ and gave them a special meet-and-greet with the dolphins after the Thursday incident.
Sorry about that turtle kid. Wanna pet my dolphin?
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Finally, a Website for Aging Whores
Oct 12th
Crap on a cracker, this is a real website. Cougarlife.Com is a site where women can post their profiles in hopes of getting their eager beavers crammed with slacker seed.
I don’t think the theme song is right. They should have licensed Rod Stewart’s Maggie Mae since that is the anthem of Cougar Nation. The website is helpful in providing the definition of both a “cougar” and the men who defile them, called “cubs.”
What is a Cougar? Cougars are Women in their PRIME: independent, sexy and wildly successful. They enjoy men that are youthful, fit with the same zest for life. Cougars are classy, confident women that already possess many of the finer things in life — but now want the young, hot guy to go with it.
What is a Cub? To snare a true Cougar a man needs to be youthful, fit, unintimidated and of course sexually driven! These men can range from athletes to intellectuals, and from technologists to entrepreneurs and all points in between; they can come in all shapes and sizes, but one thing they have in common is the desire to possess a sexually charged older woman.
The website should have a banner that says “Abandon all self-respect ye who enter here.”
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Reason 300 to HomeSchool: Noisy Disrespectful Classmates Won’t Prompt Teacher Meltdown
Oct 11th
The video below is going viral. It shows a 17 year teaching veteran Donald Woods losing his mind and smashing up his classroom because he is not allowed to punch his loud-mouthed disrespectful students in the face. None of them will sit down and shut up and there is no learning taking place in this class.
Just about every comment on this video on YouTube and elsewhere are unanimous that this is the students’ fault. Perhaps they are right. The teacher ended up being led away in handcuffs.
From SkyNews here:
A teacher had to be escorted from school in handcuffs after smashing up furniture in front of a classroom full of jeering children. Donald Wood appeared to suffer a nervous breakdown as he struggled to control his teenage pupils at McGavock High School in Nashville, Tennessee.
Mobile phone footage recorded by one of the youngsters showed him throwing two tables, a bin and a chair during an algebra lesson.
The video starts with Mr Wood – who has been a teacher for 17 years – telling the pupils to “shut up”.
The classroom erupts as he is taunted by the hysterical students.He then waves his arms and says: “If you can be absolutely quiet…if you can shut your mouth…you can shut your mouth and you can listen in absolute silence…
“Do you know why? Cause I have the absolute…”
“Power?” screams one of the youths.
“I’ve got it, and I know it,” the teacher replies. “And guess who else knows it?”
Mr Wood then knocks over a table, and strolls over to the other side of the room and upturns another desk.
“Do you know who started the fire? Do you know who started the fire in this school?” he asks.
A student says something inaudible, and Mr Wood replies: “No – me!”He then hurls a metal bin to the floor as pupils flee in terror.
“Once everybody started running out he picked up a chair and threw it out the window and it shattered,” pupil Joshua Jenkins told NewsChannel5.com.
The commotion could be heard in nearby classrooms and the teacher was removed from the school in handcuffs.
“He was very agitated, very scattered and he didn’t make any sense,” said the school’s principal Robbin Wall.
“We are very fortunate that none of our students were injured or hurt.”
Mr Wood was taken to hospital for treatment, and has been suspended as investigations continue into the incident.
You can’t blame this on disruptive black kids in the classroom, even though that is what is depicted. Yeah the white kids are being good and sitting still while the black kids are screaming, cutting up and not sitting down. The schools aren’t going to be desegregated, and the teachers have been stripped of all disciplinary authority. And somehow I don’t think that ejecting those students would have been a permanent fix either. The school itself has to be tougher. Students need to be allowed to fail and go to classrooms for special education or be allowed to drop out. Obama’s America needs ditch diggers and “Shovel Ready” operators.
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Justin Perras, Former Lexis Nexis Hacker Fingered for Cryptome Hack
Oct 10th
Last time I wrote about Justin Perras, he was going to jail for breaking into the Lexis Nexis database using stolen law enforcement credentials. Recently the Cryptome website was hacked and Justin’s name came up as a possible culprit in the attack. Looks like he might have to go buy more soap on a rope.

From Cryptome here:
Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2010 13:15:31 -0400
Subject: you’re going down, sir.
From: justin perras
To: jya[at]pipeline.comYou need to stop blaming me for your ineptitude. I understand your
hurt over what happened with your website and that you feel violated.
I continue to read your files and I can not help but laugh as you take
the shotgun approach to ‘backtracing’ what happened over at earthlink.
Trust me: I do not care about your stupid ‘ass burning’ campaign. I am
not guilty so I have nothing to worry about. I will not ‘roll over’ on
anyone — because I don’t have to. Do you understand? Your allegations
are producing conflict and creating strife for me. I have nothing to
hide from you or investigators. I do not care about your mindless
witch hunt having any legal consequences for me whatsoever. The fact
that you’re associating me with people who may or may not have raped
you without lube just demonstrates your ignorance. You’re annoying:
like a mosquito, and I hope that whoever compromised your emails and
LAN takes that information and becomes an annoying parasite just so
you can understand how aggravating this entire thing is.You’re acting like an angry child which has consequences of it own.
Your behavior is causing you to lose support. Do you understand this?
Your vendetta against innocent people is acting as a detriment. I
wouldn’t imagine you care. Based on the materials on the site and the
communications you post it seems like you’re going to pursue whatever
crazy agenda (earthlink owned by scientoligists.. are you fucking
serious? ) you’ve cooked up in that delusional head of yours.I am filing suit, John. Since I haven’t been proven guilty and will
never be proven guilty (should things go that far based off your
campaign of lies and misinformation — idc i am not responsible for
what happened to you, so do whatever you must do, fatso. I am not
scared of the fbi / secret service. They are of no consequence here
because there is no threat — they are just aggravating. The more
things you do which aggravate the quality of my life, the better my
case against you will be.) I have no qualms with making a spectacle
out of your fiasco. Maybe you can buy me a new Barbie Mobile. I’ve
always wanted one of those. I am not afraid of you, law enforcement,
or ‘snitches’ since I *really* have done nothing. My lawyer will be
calling you later. Make sure you answer the telephone that way you can
write the synopsis and perhaps change your tone about a C&D being
‘forged’. Careful with how you word things from now on. ‘…forged’ is
accusatory. Might want to change that, or not. Like I said: the
stupider you get, the better my case against you looks. (*twirls
around marvelously*). Any media that contacts me re: your drama will
be considered an attempt on your behalf to aggravate me. I make sure
to tell them about how your violated fat ass is foolishly pointing
fingers here, there, everywhere because you do not know and rely
information from unverified sources with their own agenda. I have many
enemies and have done some pretty fucked up shit in the past. I’m used
to morons trying to continuously take me down, but they are usually
young and retarded. You take the cake for being the most ignorant
since you should be old enough to know better.
Funny that Justin would threaten a lawsuit. And if he didn’t do it, why bother writing in and denying it? Seems to me he’s protesting too much. And his stint in jail did nothing to deter him from committing other cyber crimes, nor did it squelch his own sense of inflated self-importance.
As I write this, Justin’s domain of poisonapple.net has been defaced saying:
You kids shouldn’t play on computers when you don’t know what you’re doing. -0wn3d.
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Secure Your Wireless So Your Sicko Neighbor Doesnt Upload Photos of Herself Molesting Her Kids
Oct 8th
Candace Miller claimed she only started molesting her two children and uploading pictures of her doing it on the advice of some pH.D Psychologist she met on a parenting website. She did all of this by leeching free wi-fi from her neighbor, who got himself beaten down by angry cops.
From WinkNews here:
Deputies arrested Candice Miller only after they raided the wrong house. Investigators busted into the neighbors’ house suspecting they were sending child porn. Turns out Miller’s neighbors didn’t secure their wireless Internet connection.
Ted Davis says he was thrown to the ground and had his home searched by deputies Tuesday morning. They were looking for his neighbor - Candice Miller.
Davis says Miller was stealing Davis’ unsecured Internet connection which deputies say she used to send pornographic images of herself with her two children. Computer experts say this could have easily been avoided.
I think this story focuses too much on Internet Router Security on not nearly enough on the sick bitch who was filming herself molesting her kids and uploading the files online.
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This Muslim Swordsman Does a Neat Trick
Oct 5th
This video stars Mark Christopher Lawrence from NBC’s “Chuck” (Big Mike). A man returns from a long journey to show his talents to his friends and family.
Praise Allah ya’ll.
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