I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for March, 2009
New Pistachio Salmonella Outbreak Due to Organic Farming Methods
Mar 31st
Salmonella is a bacteria that comes from food exposed to feces. The tomato salmonella outbreak last year that cost tomato growers across the country 300 Million bucks in lost income was ultimately traced to a single farm in Mexico growing organic jalapeno peppers and using waste water from a chicken farm to irrigate the crops. Now a new salmonella scare has triggered nationwide recalls, and this time pistachios are the culprit.
The company that produced the poisonous pistachios, Setton Farms, uses organic farming methods, which means that they refuse to use chemicals to prevent poisons and pests from contaminating the crops and they use animal feces as fertilizer instead of engineered mixtures that are free of bacteria. Also, the farms do not have to be inspected by the US Department of Agriculture. Any bozo with a license to inspect organic farms can do so in the state of California.
But if salmonella comes from animal poop, how did it get onto the nuts that grow on the trees? My guess would be that immigrant laborers were picking nuts up out of the mud during harvest.
From Reuters here:
A California pistachio processor issued a nationwide recall of pistachios due to possible salmonella contamination, and U.S. health regulators said consumers should avoid all pistachio products until more information is available.
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the California Department of Public Health are investigating the matter.
Salmonella can cause serious and sometimes fatal infections in young children, frail or elderly people, and others with weakened immune systems.
The recalled nuts were shipped on or after September 1, 2008 by Setton Pistachio of Terra Bella Inc.
American farmers spent 200 years to come up with the technology and processes to produce robust food that is clean and healthy. Now a bunch of eco-religionists who reject logic and technology would rather risk exposure to deadly diseases and eat inferior produce.
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Crutches Make Good Weapons, Don’t They?
Mar 31st
A dude in NYC broke his foot and is on crutches for a couple of months. He has taken it upon himself to call out those assholes who don’t allow people with injuries to sit in the reserved disabled seating sections of the subway. He takes photos of them and posts them on his blog, PeopleWhoSitInTheDisabilitySeatsWhenImStandingOnMyCrutches.com.

The anonymous author of the blog is a bit nicer than I would be. I would jam my crutch into the chests of these inconsiderate jerks.
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Time to Kill the Kittens
Mar 30th
Imagine going to work every day, and every hour on the hour, you have to go downstairs and put a dog or a cat to sleep. Every hour on the hour, every day you work, 5 days per week, for 50 weeks. Kitten after puppy, after kitten. Oh, lots of families may want to adopt them, but your job is not to put animals into adoptive homes, but to keep cranking out little furry corpses. At the end of the year, you have a giant mound of dead pets. About 2,200 of them.

Sound gruesome? Well don’t bother calling PETA, because its PETA that’s doing it. They just released 2008′s statistics on how many animals they took in and how many got adopted. In total, 2,216 animals were given to PETA so they animals could be adopted into a new home. Only 7 left the facility in Norfolk VA alive. The rest were exterminated because PETA didn’t think other humans could treat them well enough.
Well at least they haven’t been caught throwing away the carcasses in grocery store dumpsters like the did a couple of years ago. PetaKillsAnimals has the full details.
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Bugg!! Creepy and Cool Lollipop
Mar 30th
My kid loves bugs. Whenever he spots one he shouts “Bugg!!” and will poke at it with a tiny finger. This is fine for now, but as Spring progresses and the bees reappear, this may become a problem. When I came back from Texas I brought Cartney a little lollipop. It was blueberry flavored. And it had a giant Bugg!! in it.

Yes, that is a scorpion-encased in yummy candy. My kid was so proud of it that for an hour he sat still, sucking on the candy and then pulling it out and shouting “Bugg!!” before popping it back in his mouth.
And no, we didn’t let him finish it off. When he licked down to the exoskeleton I had to wrestle it away from him all by myself since my wife wouldn’t go near it. She would suffer a case of the willies whenever she looked at it.
The ingredients are cool. It has: Sugar, Scorpion, artificial coloring and flavoring. The website is here if you want to order some.
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Cyber-Anarchists Twist Their Panties Over “GhostNet”
Mar 30th
Do you want to generate a ton of press over an everyday occurrence and drive attention to your liberal cause? This is how you do it, as proven by Ron Deibert of the University of Toronto, CitizenLab and Munk Centre.

Ron Deibert attempting to make people think he has l33t Skillz in computer security, but he barely has skills in Google Picasa.
- Step 1: Pick a popular leftist cause or nation-state. For instance, global warming or Palestine.
- Step 2: Declare that the target is being attacked by its arch-nemesis. In the case above, that would be Big Oil or Israel.
- Step 3: Declare that the adversary is stealing documents with a remote control hacker program, and that the activity is part of a vast far reaching network.
- Step 4: Come up with a cool name for this fake network like “PhantomMenace” or “GhostNet.”
- Step 5: Profit!
This is exactly what Deibert did with this paper here, which accuses China of running a coordinated cyber attack against the remnants of the exiled Tibetan government to steal documents and intelligence.
Out of 53 pages, there is very little factual information and a ton of conjecture. Some of the conjecture suggests that only the CIA, Israel and China would have the capabilities to do something on this scale of sophistication, but when you look at the facts, you find that the cyber issues being discussed are common everyday occurrences.
Fact: The GhostNet “malware” is a remote control backdoor trojan horse program. Such programs have been around for over a decade, like Back Orifice or SubSeven. This malware has the odious capability of being able to turn on the camera and microphone. Big deal. SubSeven was doing that back in ’99.
Fact: The malware was distributed by a phishing attack. The email included an attachment of a word document that was trojanized to install a remote control trojan. This is what phishing attacks do, but Deibert treats this like some sort of advanced cyber-warfare tactic. Deibert even includes a copy of the email, but like the amateur he is, neglects to include a real copy that includes email headers that would show the internet trail and true sender’s identity.
Fact: Members of the Exiled government of Tibet were stupid and clicked on the attachment and neglected to keep their systems up to date. The only way Diebert’s crew was able to analyze the attack was to investigate pwn3d hosts. Since they are buddy-buddy with the Tibetans, they were granted access. I guess exiled governments can’t afford real professional cyber forensic teams, so they get Canadian anarchists to do the work instead.
Fact: Once hackers had access to the affected systems, they stole documents and other valueable data. This is what hackers do. And apparently this fact is news to Deibert and his ilk. So much so that they wrote a paper about it and held a press conference.
But doing cyber work is secondary to these guys. What they are really trying to do is drum up sympathy for their cause. And judging by the amount of press they are getting, it seems to be working. It is just a shame that there are no credible cyber experts in the journalism field that are calling these guys out for their sloppy analysis and questioning their motives.
I wrote about these guys two years ago when they were creating a P2P proxy network to let their friends in China evade government censorship. The fact that they are Canadians and commited acts of anarchy in the US during the WTO meetings in Seattle, and worship Che Guevara, Karl Marx and Noam Chomsky, destroys all shreds of credibility.
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Sham Wow Soaks Up Blood
Mar 29th
I confess I hate the Sham Wow guy. Mostly it is because he is an annoying pitchman for a stupid absorbent pad, and also because I bought the stupid pad to soak up some fluids and it just didn’t work. You know what works? A wet/dry vac. You hear me camera guy? Anyways, Vince Shlomi, the Sham Wow guy probably ended his career by paying a hooker almost a thousand bucks and then punching her repeatedly in the face. In Vince’s defense, it was supposed to be just a simple battery, but the hooker called back within 10 minutes so he threw in the full-on assault for free. Sham Wow!

From the SmokingGun here:
Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.
So Sham Wow guy? How does it feel to pay money for something that just doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do?
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Ashley Biden is a Coke Whore
Mar 29th
Ashley Biden, daughter of hairplug-implanted Vice President Joe Biden, was caught on tape snorting several lines of cocaine. One of her “friends” (similar friendship as that of Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp) is trying to sell the tape to several news outlets. The thing is, Ashley Biden is supposed to be a welfare worker who deals with kids. Should a coke whore be allowed to work around kids?

From the NYPost here:
A “friend” of Vice President Joseph Biden’s daughter, Ashley, is attempting to hawk a videotape that shows her snorting cocaine at a house party this month in Delaware.
The video, which the shooter initially hoped to sell for $2 million before scaling back his price to $400,000, shows a 20-something woman with light skin and long brown hair taking a red straw from her mouth, bending over a desk, inserting the straw into her nostril and snorting lines of white powder.
Ashley Biden, 27, is a social worker for a Delaware child-welfare agency and was a visible presence during her father’s campaign for the White House.
Biden has been an outspoken crusader against drugs, coining the term “drug czar” in 1982 while campaigning for a more forceful “war on drugs.”
The shooter filmed with a camera with a hard-disc drive that he later destroyed, drilling into the device and tossing it into a lake.
Ashley didn’t have Secret Service protection at the time of the party because she complained about agents blocking her driveway.
Blocking her driveway? She also didn’t want them around because they are major cock-blockers and slap her around whenever she tries to snort an 8-Ball.
According to the Delaware State employment office, all employees for the state must pass a drug screening. Should Ashley get fired now?
Conditions of Hire: when an agency makes a conditional job offer, the applicant must pass further screening for items such as drug testing…
And do Democrats care? Of course not. As professional hypocrites they spent years in mock anger at the rumor that George Bush may have snorted coke, but gladly sent a black man to office that wrote a memoir about being a stoner and a coke fiend. Ashley and Al Gore junior should get together and live in a crack house.
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Cartney and the Easter Bunny
Mar 28th
My son flexes his muscles and shakes his fists whenever he tries to impress anyone and make them laugh. It always makes me and his mom laugh, but when he does it in the grocery store to impress the cashier or another customer, sometimes we get funny looks or sympathetic questions, such as “Aww, is he special?” Or, “Is your kid okay? I think he’s seizing!” We then have to explain that our kid likes them and was trying to impress them with what we think may be a “feat of strength.” We don’t know why he does it; its just his thing; part of his personality. Which explains his excitement and his fist shaking when he got to meet the Easter Bunny.
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Islamic Cleric Issues Fatwa Against Smoking
Mar 27th
Having been to Jordan, I know how much Arabs enjoy smoking, including pious Muslims. Now according to their religious laws, smoking is illegal. Will that stop them from smoking or move them toward a more progressive form of Islam?

From Reuters here:
Muslims who smoke and try to portray themselves as pious are worse than cows which defecate in the street, a top Malaysian Muslim cleric and politician said.
Recently, Indonesia’s top Islamic body passed a fatwa or ruling banning smoking. Malaysia’s top Islamic body has also banned smoking.
Despite the ban in Malaysia, where over half the population of 27 million is Muslim, 50 percent of the male population smokes.
And of course, if anyone is to be punished for violating this law it will be the women first.
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Rapper TI Sent Back to Jail
Mar 27th
What?? A rapper jailed for being a known felon in possession of firearms and silencers? The hell you say! But its true. Rapper T.I. whose real name is Clifford Harris was arrested just before he was to headline the 2007 BET Hip-Hop awards for buying a million machine guns with silencers. He was just sentenced to a year and a day in jail.

From the AP here:
Rapper T.I. was sentenced Friday to one year and a day in prison after pleading guilty to federal weapons charges after he tried to buy a stash of machine guns and silencers to protect himself after his best friend was killed.
The 28-year-old rapper, whose real name is Clifford Harris, will also pay a $100,000 fine as part of his sentence. He was arrested in 2007 after trying to to buy unregistered machine guns and silencers.
He pleaded guilty last March to the federal weapons charges but wasn’t sentenced until Friday as part of a deal to see if he would be successful in performing community service by speaking to youths about the pitfalls of drugs, violence and guns.
A hilarious quote by the black man who is going into his culture’s “13th grade” for the tenth time came when he described his decision-making process:
“Everything I learned was through trial and error,” Harris also told the judge. “I’ve learned lessons in my life to put in my music so people won’t make the same mistakes as I.”
In other words, he does all the wrong stuff first. With role models like this for America’s black youth, we should have another generation or two of blacks to fill our jail cells.
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Nerd Nirvana’s Command Chair
Mar 26th
Saw this on Skymall on the flight back today. Does your inner nerd need a place to sit? This would be the chair. A limited run of 1,701 chairs were made, complete with blinky lights and sound effects. The price is a cool $2,717.01.

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Trouble With Twitter?
Mar 26th
Yeah, I just don’t get the whole twitter thing either.
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Ammonites In My Walls
Mar 26th
The hotel I’m staying in has lots of granite walls and countertops and ever since I saw the Pink Tentacle blog about ammonite fossils embedded in granite, I hunt for their presence in the granite slates I encounter. They would look like the swirl in the photo below. No luck yet in finding my own. But check the ones out at this Japanese department store at Pink Tentacle here.

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Nigerian Skype Scammer
Mar 25th
This is epic, with thanks to GeeksAreSexy.

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China Blocks YouTube
Mar 25th
Red China’s government threw a hissy fit over videos showing Tibetan violence and blocked YouTube. When Pakistan blocked it to stifle anti-Islamic videos it caused instability and brought down lots of routes on the whole Internet. That hasn’t happened this time, which merely means that China has better router admins for their totalitarian regime.


From Reuters here:
YouTube, owned by search giant Google Inc, has been unavailable for users in China, which filters the Internet for content critical of the Communist Party, since late on Monday.
A Google spokesman confirmed that access to the video site has been blocked in China over the past 24 hours.
Rubin would not comment on whether YouTube has contacted the Chinese authorities to confirm it has officially been blocked or if it is a technical problem.
An Internet crackdown that began in January has closed hundreds of Chinese sites, including a popular blog hosting site and several sites popular with Tibetans.
It has been described by analysts as another step in the Party’s battle to stifle dissent in a year of sensitive anniversaries, including the 20th anniversary of the government’s bloody crackdown on the pro-democracy Tiananmen Square protests in 1989.
Michelle Malkin has more on this and wonders if Google will bend over backwards again for China.
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Frank Abagnale’s Outstanding Speech
Mar 24th
Here in Dallas I was able to catch a great speech by Frank Abagnale, the con-man turned FBI agent. They based the movie “Catch Me if You Can” on his life and story. He talked about his life, his adventures as a teenager, and most of all, how he loves his family and how being a great husband and father is the true meaning of life. These videos were taken at another venue, but the content is just about the same. Enjoy.
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Depression Cooking- Poor Man’s Meal
Mar 24th
My wife showed me this series of videos on YouTube featuring 93-Year Old Clara, who shares stories of her childhood while preparing meals that were popular during the depression. Note how Clara is generous with her vegetable oil, not like other cooks who think less is more.
It is cute how her grandson brings all of his friends around to share the meal.
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Quit Your Job to Make iPhone Apps?
Mar 24th
Some women are becoming strippers in this age of economic woes, chasing cash dollar by dollar. They use a pole.

Meanwhile, geeks just chase dollars by coding iPhone apps and hope the sales hit the top 25. Then they use that money to pay the strippers.
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Dallas Squatting
Mar 23rd
I’m in Dallas on travel. It’s my first time in Texas and there aren’t many surprises. Except for Texas Stadium in Irving, where the Cowboys play. I drove past it on the way to the hotel. That stadium has seen better days. It looked like a giant piece of junk. I’m not sure how concrete can look dirty, but the walls of this stadium somehow did. The pic below is from my hotel room window looking downtown on a cloudy evening.

Posting may be a little light, so feel free to poke around in the archives.
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Who is The Coon?
Mar 22nd
This is a hilarious SouthPark episode that spoofed both Dark Knight and the Watchmen. If you get a chance to see the whole thing, do it. It even has its own mystery woven into the story- Just who is Mysterion?
I think Mysterion is Clyde.
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