I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for November, 2006
Spilled Doritos Chips Wash Ashore on Outer Banks
Nov 30th
Hilarious photos of thousands of Doritos chips washed up on the beach in North Carolina. And they are all still fresh! This is an environmental spill that everyone can volunteer to help cleanup.
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Loading ...CIA Employee was Burglar and Panty Sniffer
Nov 30th
With employees like this at the CIA is it any wonder that they got the information wrong about WMDs in Iraq? George Dalmas was burglarizing homes in the affluent neighborhoods of Langley and McLean. Among some very valuable items, he also swiped over a thousand pairs of panties.
From NBC4 here:
A CIA employee for nearly 20 years admitted breaking into 10 homes near the spy agency’s headquarters about a year ago and taking valuables and other items.
George C. Dalmas III, 48, pleaded guilty Wednesday to the burglaries, which each carry a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison. Dalmas, who had no prior criminal record, has been fired from his CIA job as a midlevel administrator.
During the daylight burglaries in the McLean area, Dalmas took valuable items including Camp David cuff links, Cartier hoop earrings, a Tiffany gold scarab ring and a sapphire-diamond necklace. But the most curious objects from Dalmas’ burglary expedition were less valuable — women’s panties.
Search warrants list 1,074 pairs of women’s undergarments that he stole. Many were stuffed in shopping bags and a filing cabinet at his home in Falls Church.
Okay, let’s do the math. He hit ten homes. He netted over a thousand panties. This means, that on average, the women in these homes had over 100 pairs of panties each! That seems like quite a bit to me. He must have taken every pair he could find in the homes. Ick.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Chinese Hackers Prompt DoD InfoCon Increase
Nov 30th
The Department of Defense has raised the “InfoCon” from 5 to 4. This means that there are now tighter restrictions on access to DoD systems, forced password changes and strictly enforced access control.
From the Washington Times here:
Chinese computer hackers penetrated the Naval War College network earlier this month, forcing security authorities to shut down all e-mail and official computer network work at the Navy’s school for senior officers. Navy officials said the computer attack was detected Nov. 15 and two days later the U.S. Strategic Command raised the security alert level for the Pentagon’s 12,000 computer networks and 5 million computers.
A spokesman for the Navy Cyber Defense Operations Command, located in Norfolk, said “network intrusions” were detected at the Newport, R.I., military school two weeks ago. “The system-network connection was terminated and known affected systems were removed and are being examined for forensic evidence to determine the extent of the intrusion,” said Lt. Cmdr. Doug Gabos, the spokesman.
Adm. Michael Mullen, chief of naval operations, recently directed the war college’s Strategic Studies Group to begin work to develop concepts for waging cyber-warfare, a Navy spokesman said. “The Naval War College is where the Navy’s Strategic Studies Group is planning and practicing cyber-war techniques, and now they don’t even have e-mail access,” one U.S. official said.
U.S. defense officials said intelligence reports indicated that the cyber-attack on the college came from China, which a recent congressional report said has begun a series of computer network attacks against defense and military systems in the United States code-named “Titan Rain.”
The Strategic Command directive stated that the “information condition” was to be raised Nov. 17 from Infocon 5 to Infocon 4, or heightened alert against attack. Alan Paller, a computer security specialist with the private SANS Institute, said the Chinese network attack against the war college is “the tip of the iceberg.” “The depth of the penetration is more than anybody is even admitting,” he said in an interview. “People are trying to hide this because they’re embarrassed.”
With all due respect to Mr. Paller, there is no attempt at a coverup. Security incidents within the DoD are closely guarded, which is why “people are trying to hide this.”
Part of the operational aspects of an Infocon increase within the DoD is to take easily accessible systems and enforce strict authentication. For instance, take Outlook Web Access. Normally, OWA does not require anything other than a username and a password. Now, such systems that cannot comply to a CAC card authentication are forced offline.
This is apparently what happened with the Naval War College. Those generals can whine about not having email access right now, but why were those systems so wildly out of standardization with the rest of DoD?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Fantasticar Unveiled
Nov 30th
Not only is the next Fantastic Four movie going to feature Norrin Radd, aka Silver Surfer, but it will also debut the way-cool “Fantasticar” which is one of the coolest rides in all of Comics, ranking up there with the X-men’s Blackbird, the Batmobile and Johnny Blaze’s Ghostrider chopper.
From USA Today here:
The mileage is great, because it doesn’t use any gasoline. And traffic isn’t a problem, because it can zoom along at 30,000 feet. About the only problem with the Fantasticar is, well, it doesn’t exist at least in real life. It will, however, make its long-awaited debut in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, which gets its first look here.
In the movie, the Fantasticar is powered by a proton accelerator, can hover, fly at 500 mph and break into separate flying machines.
Flattery worked 10 months designing and building the Fantasticar, which will enjoy a life after the movie in sequels and on the auto-show circuit.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Gator Chews on Florida Crackhead
Nov 30th
A stupid crackhead in Florida decided to strip down to his birthday suit and go swimming in a Florida pond. A large gator grabbed hold of him and chewed on parts of both arms and was working on a leg when Sheriff’s Deputies dove in and rescued him.
From Reuters here:
Florida sheriff’s deputies jumped into a dark lake and pulled a naked man from the jaws of an alligator early on Wednesday, authorities said. The man lost his left arm and had a broken right arm and major injuries to his left leg, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said. He was hospitalized in critical condition.
After several people reported hearing screams for help from central Florida’s Lake Parker at about 4 a.m., deputies arrived to find the man in the alligator’s grasp, the sheriff said. Four deputies waded through waist-deep mud, wrestled the man free and pulled him about 40 yards (meters) back to shore to a waiting ambulance, Judd said.
“He was totally naked,” Judd said of the victim, identified as 45-year-old Adrian Apgar. “He admitted that he’d been smoking crack cocaine.”
A 12-foot alligator was later plucked from the lake, and wildlife officials said it was believed to be the one that attacked Apgar.
A Twelve Foot Gator is a huge animal. It could eat a deer. This crackhead is lucky that his screams woke the neighbors, or else he would have simply vanished off the planet.? One of the best writeups on this is at TBO here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...The EFF Wins One
Nov 29th
The Electronic Frontier Foundation, who is suing to stop the US efforts to fight terrorism by listening in on phone calls of terrorists, managed to finally win a big court case. Against Barney the Dinosaur.
In this case, the lawyers for the big purple doofus kept sending cease and desist letters to a Dr. Frankel, (pictured below) who was operating a single webpage that poked fun at Barney and the brain-rotting pablum that the children’s TV show produces.
In these cease and desist letters, the lawyers were wrongfully asserting that Frankel was not allowed to use Barney’s image on the website without express permission of the law firm. But as a parody or as valid criticism, the images were fair use.
The Register has the write up on it here. Hilariously, they note that “being conquered by the EFF is much like being bitten to death by a duck.”
The EFF has successfully defended the owner of a web site ridiculing Barney the Dinosaur. Shysters representing the simpering mascot had demanded that webmaster Stuart Frankel cease and desist in giving the purple menace the negative publicity he so richly deserves.
Lyons Partnership, Barney’s corporate masters, claimed that Frankel was violating their copyrights by mocking their profitable creation on line. But then the mighty EFF marshaled its legal beagles, and for once, they were able to prove fair use. Frankel is free to disparage the reprehensible reptile using his own likeness, slogans, and desultory ejaculations.
I’m especially gratified to see Barney go down for the count, even if, metaphorically speaking, being conquered by the EFF is much like being bitten to death by a duck. I believe he’s neurotoxic. I forbid my young son to watch the show, fearing that it will make him dull witted, or gay.
I used to receive cease and desist letters for my Muppets page here from lawyers for Jim Henson because they did not like that I used their muppet likenesses in a sexual and partisan matter. I have been ignoring those letters for years, as should anyone that publishes works that are critiques or parodies.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...No More Fashion Nightmares
Nov 29th
I was very pleasantly surprised the other day when I was outside of Starbucks and spotted some neighborhood kids riding their skateboards. They were wearing straight leg jeans. Their ass cracks weren’t showing. You couldn’t see any part of their underwear. The cuffs went all the way to the ankles and they weren’t frayed. And the knees weren’t even ripped out.
The fashion gods have answered my prayers and killed the baggy-pants fashion nightmare. Now, if they can only get rid of low rider jeans for women too, I would be ecstatic. Its not that I think belly buttons are unattractive (I do think they are gross, but that is for another blog), but face it, it only really looks good if you have a body like Britney had before she met FedEx.
Too many girls around my town wear low-rider jeans and belly shirts and they have four-inch jiggly muffin tops oozing over the tops of their pants that are straining at the seams. Whats worse is many of these jeans have stupid sequined phrases written on their asses that say “sexy” “party” or something similar. What they should say is “keeblers” or “BurgerKing.”
Well, the days of the muffin top is coming to a close now that “Tummy Tuck” jeans are here.
Could you eat all the nachos you want and still look hot in your jeans? Maybe. One company claims its jeans can help flatter your figure.
The Tummy Tuck Jeans brand claims that its jeans slim the mid-section without exercise or surgery. In fact, the makers of the jeans, Not Your Daughters Jeans said patented criss-cross stitching behind the front pockets allows the garment to flatten the stomach, lift the buttocks and slim the body.
The company said that Tummy Tuck jeans “holds in your stomach, contours your hips and lifts up your butt without making you feel like you are wearing a girdle.”
The jeans are endorsed by some well-known people as well. “Women who like to eat need Tummy Tuck jeans!” famed chef Rachael Ray said in a press release.
And is it me or is Rachael Ray getting just a little over-exposed?
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Snoop Busted for Guns and Drugs Again
Nov 29th
Snoop is getting arrested faster than he can stand trial for his indictments. He performed at the Burbank studios of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. On his way out of the parking lot, cops stopped his car and found SHOCKER! drugs and a gun. The cops and judges have told ol’ Snoop that, as a former felon, he is not allowed to have these items.
From the AP here:
BURBANK, Calif. – Snoop Dogg was arrested for investigation of illegally possessing a handgun and drugs as he left NBC Studios after performing on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno,” police said.
The 35-year-old rapper, whose real name is Calvin Broadus, and two members of his entourage were arrested around 6 p.m. Tuesday after a search of his Diamond Bar home and car. Police seized a handgun and some illegal drugs.
The rapper was arrested for investigation of being a convicted felon in possession of a firearm, possessing cocaine, transporting marijuana and having a false compartment in his vehicle, Grandalski said.
“He was in a car pulling out of the studio” when police stopped him, said Donald Etra, the rapper’s attorney. He made bail of $60,000 and was released shortly after 1 a.m. Wednesday, about seven hours after his arrest.
Until Snoop stops being stupid, he will keep getting caught. Keep on keepin’ it real. More Snoop Dogg Stupidity here.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Krazy Kitty
Nov 29th
Rogue the kitten is beginning to acclimate to her new surroundings. And by “acclimating” I mean keeping us up all night. She plays a game where she attacks our feet through the blanket whenever we move them. And if that gets boring, she takes ‘Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka’ flying leaps off the bed onto the floor with her paws splayed in the air. I think she usually hits belly first, and then she gallops around the room at full tilt speed, taking tight corners by digging in with her sharp claws. On the new carpet. **Sigh**
The older cat, Domino, is no longer snippy with Rogue. They often share the same room together now, and sometimes even tolerate each other on the same couch. But when Rogue begins to do her acrobatics at night, Domino quickly jumps down off the bed to find a quieter place in the house. Usually in the basement. Which is where I am going to be sleeping too if that kitten doesn’t quit clawing at my feet.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Babies and Appliances Dont Mix
Nov 28th
These two idiots seem to be running for parents of the year. Shocker that neither one is married to the other parent in their respective “relationships.” They should be barred from ever spawning another child.
First up is Derrick Hardy. This criminal, while under house arrest, takes his girlfriend’s baby girl and jams her in the freezer. Luckily the baby lived. The mom is an idiot too for shacking up with such a loser.
From CBC news here:
The mother of a 10-month-old baby found with freezer burns told an Island court Thursday she discovered the girl crying in the freezer when she returned home from visiting a neighbor.
The mother’s 21-year-old boyfriend, Derrick Hardy, is facing five charges related to the incident.
Doctors found the child had several first- and second-degree freezer burns on her head and torso. The baby also had a bruise on her wrist.
The mother said the baby was wearing only an undershirt when she found her crammed into the freezer with the ice cubes and the hamburger meat.
The mother insisted Hardy didn’t have a temper. However, Hardy was under house arrest at the time and had to take an anger management course, she said.
Next up is China Arnold, an unmarried mother of four three. This horrible mother is now in jail under a one million dollar bond because she is suspected to have put her 3-week old infant daughter in a microwave. The baby died.
From Seattle PI here:
DAYTON, Ohio — A mother was arrested on suspicion of murdering her newborn daughter by microwaving the baby in an oven. China Arnold, 26, was jailed Monday on a charge of aggravated murder, more than a year after she brought her dead month-old baby to a hospital. Bail was set Tuesday at $1 million.
“We have reason to believe, and we have some forensic evidence that is consistent with our belief, that a microwave oven was used in this death,” said Ken Betz, director of the Montgomery County coroner’s office.
He said the evidence included high-heat internal injuries and the absence of external burn marks on the baby, Paris Talley.
Such despicable people.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Sandia Labs Training Bomb Sniffing Bees
Nov 28th
Yesterday I asked what the hell they do at Sandia Laboratories since they are obviously not paying attention to cyber security. Well, today I got my answer. They are training bees to stick out their tongues when they smell bombs, dynamite and other similar explosive materials.
This is your Homeland Security dollars at work. Now they want to ship the bees in little boxes to soldiers in Iraq and to TSA employees at airports. The trick is to use the bee to sniff for roadside bombs or for explosives in suitcases. Because, I guess, dogs are not as efficient? Take too long to train? Eat and poo too much? Drool excessively?
From Reuters here:
Researchers at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico said they trained honeybees to stick out their proboscis — the tube they use to feed on nectar — when they smell explosives in anything from cars and roadside bombs to belts similar to those used by suicide bombers.
Researchers in the program, dubbed the Stealthy Insect Sensor Project, published their findings on Monday.
“When bees detect the presence of explosives, they simply stick their proboscis out,” research scientist Tim Haarmann told Reuters in a telephone interview. “You don’t have to be an expert in animal behaviour to understand it as there is no ambiguity.”
The findings followed 18 months of research at the U.S. Energy Department’s Los Alamos facility, the nation’s leading nuclear weapons laboratory.
Haarmann said the bees could be carried in hand-held detectors the size of a shoe box, and could be used to sniff out explosives in airports, roadside security checks, or even placed in robot bomb disposal equipment.
He said the next step would be to manufacture the bee boxes and train security guards in their use.
You can defeat the detection capability of a bee with a dose of Raid. Or a good rolled up newspaper. If you swat a bomb sniffing bee, would you get charged with assault on a Federal officer? Along with all of the shenanigans they put you through at an airport, they are now going to sic their pet bee on you too?
Wanna see a real trained bee? Click the picture below.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Bored? Try Happy Mappy!
Nov 27th
This is a cool utility website. You plug in a zipcode or a city and up pops map plots showing the cool things to do around town. Stuck in a backwater village while on travel? Use this to find something around town to occupy your time.
Most of the points of interest have websites attached as well, so even if you are familiar with a park, museum or local watering hole, check out the websites to learn more about it. Thanks to Gadling for the tip.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...UK Tranny has Sand in his Imaginary Vagina
Nov 27th
I read this story and can’t help but imagine a Monty Python skit gone wrong. A man who really wishes he was a woman, is insisting that Doctors give him a cervical exam. Because he doesn’t want to get cervical cancer. How would House handle this? With exploratory surgery, of course!
From the Telegraph here:
A family doctor has been summoned to a formal hearing over his refusal to put a 34-year-old male patient on the list for screening for cervical cancer.
The complaint has caused doctors in the west country practice to spend hours in meetings and writing replies to the local primary care trust over the complaint which began two years ago.
The man, who has fathered a child, believes he is a hermaphrodite although his doctors have examined him and can find no evidence for this.
“My suggestion would be to accede unquestioningly to the patient’s demand and carry out the procedure requested. Provided of course that a representative of the primary care trust could indicate the necessary part of this gentleman’s anatomy, and was able to give the learned medics a clue as to how they could access it.”
Tim Terry, consultant in reconstructive urology, Leicester University Hospitals NHS Trust, specializes in gender reassignment surgery.
He said: “There are some people with ambiguous genitalia but I have not come across a man who was normal physically and fertile who was in this inter-sex group. My advice would be to refer the patient to a sexual dysfunction clinic.“
Fantasizing about being a woman is one thing. Becoming delusional about reality, however, is something quite different. This dude needs psychiatric help, not a pap smear.
Thanks to Hot Air for the tip.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Crawling in My Skin
Nov 27th
A crazed fan somehow managed to breach the security of Verizonwireless to obtain phone, email and photo records for the wife of Linkin Park lead singer, Chester Bennington.
The fan then used that information to make threatening phone calls to the wife, Talinda Bennington.
From AOL here:
A Linkin Park fan has been arrested after allegedly hacking into the cell-phone and e-mail records of lead singer Chester Bennington and his wife.
Devon Townsend, 27, of Albuquerque, faces federal charges on suspicion of using a lab computer to access a cell-phone company’s Web site, the Albuquerque Journal reports.
Court documents allege that Townsend obtained personal phone numbers that Bennington had called and pictures he had taken with his camera phone. Authorities believe she also hacked into the e-mail account of Bennington’s wife, Talinda, a former Playboy model, and has made threatening phone calls to her.
Talinda Bennington reported the security breach on the couple’s Verizon Wireless online account last month, saying that she was worried about a “stalker,” according to a federal affadavit. Police traced the activity to Townsend, who admitted to the online hacking and the threatening calls, the affadavit states. A search of Townsend’s house then turned up Linkin Park memorabilia.
And there is more from the AP here regarding what was found in the search and which lab Townsend was working at-
She is accused of using a computer at her former workplace, Sandia National Laboratories, to access Bennington’s cell phone information. Lab spokesman Michael Padilla said Wednesday that she no longer worked there.
The affidavit says that during a search of Townsend’s home in Albuquerque, investigators found Linkin Park posters, autographed band memorabilia, pictures of Townsend with Chester Bennington, bootlegged Linkin Park music and copies of messages and photographs intercepted from the Bennington family’s e-mail accounts.
So was Townsend some kind of great hacker with awesome skills? Probably not. She likely came across either Chester’s or Talinda’s cell phone number somewhere, maybe on a fansite on the internet, since she was so consumed with Linkin Park. Or, since there is a photo of her with Chester, perhaps she used his phone to dial her own to get the number that way. Once the number was obtained, the odds are good that neither of the Benningtons had setup their online verizonwireless account as yet. Townsend set up those accounts herself, giving herself the password. Now she had access to the online photos, phone numbers, and if the cellphones were also email capable, access to that account as well.
What the hell do they do at Sandia anyways? The cyber security of DOE is awful.
And this is not the first time that a celeb has been hacked.
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(6 votes, average: 5.83 out of 6) Loading ...Taking a Zamboni to BK Gets You Fired
Nov 26th
A Zamboni only goes about 5 miles per hour. That is with the pedal to the metal. And if you take it off-rink and to the local BurgerKing for a Flame-Broiled Whopper? Yeah, you get the pink slip.
From the AP here:
BOISE, Idaho – Two employees of the city’s ice skating rink have been fired for making a midnight fast-food run in a pair of Zambonis. An anonymous tipster reported seeing the two big ice-resurfacing machines chug through a Burger King drive-through and return to the rink around 12:30 a.m. on Nov. 10. The squat, rubber-tired vehicles, which have a top speed of about 5 mph, drove 1 1/2 miles in all.
The Zamboni operators, both temporary city employees whose names and ages were not released by Parks and Recreation Department, had to negotiate at least one intersection with a traffic light on their late-night creep from Idaho Ice World.
“They were fired immediately,” said Parks Department Director Jim Hall.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Will Men Take the Pill?
Nov 26th
Drudge has a story up talking about a new birth control pill for men. The newest one can be taken a few hours before intercourse and the man will somehow not get the woman pregnant. I guess he will temporarily shoot blanks for a few hours. Afterwards, potency returns to normal.
From the Daily Mail here:
British scientists have developed a revolutionary pill that men could take as a one-off contraceptive just before a date.
The tablet would prevent a man from being able to impregnate a woman, but within a few hours his fertility would return to normal.
This would make it much more acceptable to men than other ‘male pills’ under development, which alter hormone levels and have to be taken over the long term.
The hormone-free ‘male pill’ was inspired by two medicines already in use and so the scientists hope it could be on the market within as little as five years.
Critics argue, that men lack women’s motivation to prevent pregnancy, making it hard for women to trust them to take a contraceptive pill.
Being a man, I am somewhat an expert on what men think. We “real men” will not take any medication that will alter our hormone levels or make us impotent, even temporarily. Any man who hails such a drug as a miracle breakthrough is kinda girly, and you ladies would be better off if they didnt breed anyways.
If you ladies want us to take those pills, you will have to slip it into our beer when we aren’t looking. Or, if the scientists team up with Viagra to create a party pill, we may consider it. Now, if they create a pill that changes your blood type after the date, men will buy that.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Avoided Black Friday
Nov 24th
I spent most of the day indoors eating leftovers and playing with the kitten. But we did get a chance to go to the Reston Tree Lighting at Reston Town Center. Lots of people were out in the great weather to hear the Reston choir sing Christmas songs and to get that first whirl on the Reston Ice rink. Santa and his wife showed up in a horse-drawn carriage and participated in the lighting of the tree.
Its going to be a great holiday!
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Named the Kitty
Nov 24th
The kitten has a cute white slash on her head. I wanted to name her something computer related referencing the slash- perhaps root or “SU” but my wife would have none of that. We settled on Rogue. Like the comic book mutant hero. ‘Cause she’s got a white streak of hair on her forehead too.
Yeah, we’re geeks.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...New Four-Legged Addition to the Family
Nov 22nd
We got a new female kitten today. We havent settled on a name yet. It has the cutest backslash on its forehead and is still very skittish in her new surroundings.
The older cat is not at all happy about the new kitten either. She is hissing and voicing her displeasure at the little one’s presence.
Thanks to Hart for the adoption services. If you are in the Northern Virginia area and are looking to adopt a cat or dog, check them out. They are great people who work very hard to rescue animals and provide good homes for them.
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(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Ho, Ho, Oh! Kid Touching Santa Busted
Nov 22nd
Its Thanksgiving and we already have stories about evil Santa. This one is from my home State of Virginia. This Bad Santa may as well shave his beard. He will never be hired again to be around kids now that he has to register as a Sex Offender.
From NBC4 here:
RICHMOND, Va. — A Powhatan County man who was working as a mall Santa is accused of molesting an 8-year-old girl.
Authorities said 48-year-old Lewis Watkins is charged with aggravated sexual battery and forcible sodomy and is being held without bond at Powhatan Correctional Center. He’s scheduled to appear in court on Wednesday.
The charges are unrelated to Watkins’ work at Southpark Mall in Colonial Heights, where he was employed by Cherry Hill Photo Enterprises as a Santa.
According to court documents, the alleged victim is a girl whose family knew Watkins. The alleged incident happened last month when Watkins was baby-sitting the girl and her cousins at the girl’s grandfather’s house.
Just because your baby-sitter looks like Santa, it is no reason to leave him in charge of your kids. In fact, any man still “baby-sitting” at the ripe old age of 48 should be held in high suspicion and contempt.
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