Rare Raccoon Rape Results

A vodka-fueled romp in the woods didn’t work out too well when Alexander Kirilov tried to rape a raccoon.

From the Sun here:

A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.  Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off,” said a pal.  “That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with.”

Not to leave the reader with just one horror story of a mangled penis, the Sun helpfully writes about this man whose wife cut off his junk and fed it to the dogs.