Obama Demands Gay Jewish Coconuts Removed

In a stunning anti-homosexual and antisemetic rant today, Barack Obama demanded that all gay coconuts and all of the Jewish coconuts be rounded up in Mumbai and destroyed prior to his arrival for his Asian tour.

Why does he hate gay coconuts? The Telegraph explains:

Mr Obama will arrive in India on Saturday for the first leg of an Asian tour.
But as well as the usual security measures that come with welcoming a a visiting dignitary, Indian authorities have decided to go one step further, by removing all natural threats to the president as well.

All coconuts around the city’s Gandhi museum, one of Mr Obama’s stops in the city, are being taken down.

“We told the authorities to remove the dry coconuts from trees near the building. Why take a chance?” Mani Bhavan’s executive secretary, Meghshyam Ajgaonkar, told the BBC.

All coconuts. Even the ones that take it up the butt. Even the jewish ones. Why does Obama hate the gays and the jews?