Michael Douglas Claims That Eating a Mountain of Pussy Gave Him Throat Cancer
The headline basically says it all. Here is the story. Douglas, who was a sex addict, claims that eating skanky chicks with HPV or Human PapillomaVirus- or genital warts, caused him to have throat cancer. It should be noted that this news was released just after Douglas deep-kissed Matt Damon for the HBO movie about Liberace.
I participated in some epic twitter mockery:
@wonderlandr and good luck on getting Matt Damon to kiss him again in the Liberace sequel.
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) June 2, 2013
@wonderlandr SURPRISE!!Damon is booked for the rest of the month gargling Listerine.
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) June 2, 2013
@stevehuff now Matt Damon does too.
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) June 3, 2013
Michael Douglas: Analingus Destroyed My Breath
— Uncle Dynamite (@UncleDynamite) June 3, 2013
In other news, blowjobs prevent prostate cancer.
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) June 2, 2013
My throat must look like Chernobyl.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 2, 2013
Most people get throat cancer by smoking cigs. Michael Douglas one-ups those losers by smoking skaggs. #LickPussyThroughYourStomaFools
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) June 3, 2013
“Eating pussy gave me Cancer” = ultimate humblebrag.
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) June 2, 2013
Now I can only imagine Michael Douglas eating pussy by turning his throat inside out like a bullfrog eating flies. #Ribbit
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) June 3, 2013
In other news Michael Douglas teaches classes on reading Braille with your tongue.
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) June 3, 2013
This is what a young Michael Douglas practiced on before going for the world record for cancerous pussy eating. twitter.com/BelchSpeak/sta…
— Dr. Jones (@BelchSpeak) June 3, 2013
