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No, You Really Don’t Care About Puerto Rico

Stop pretending that you really give two shits about Puerto Rico. You don’t. Unless you are from there or have family or friends there, and even then you really only care about those people. Not the rest of the island. If you all of a sudden had an outpouring of hashtags and love for Puerto Rico, chances are you voted for Hillary and are really hoping that Trump suffers politically during the recovery. Not even the mayor of San Juan really cares about Puerto Rico. She is way more interested in making Tshirts and standing in front of pallets of relief supplies blaming Trump for the weather.

Face it, you really care about Puerto Rico as much as you care about Alabama. I have close friends in Alabama and except for those guys, the rest of the state can go rot. The cities of Los Angeles and San Francisco would be much better when the next big quake drops them into the Pacific Ocean. Seriously, screw those guys. And screw St. Louis too, that place is awful and no one in their right mind would live there. And Chicago is so racist they are letting their black population murder each other at astounding rates. And Baltimore is a festering boil at the top of the Chesapeake Bay and you know it, and we all ate popcorn watching the city implode after the Freddie Gray fiasco. I live in Florida and I’m perfectly aware of how the rest of the country views Florida. As long as we keep Disney open and keep producing bizarre news stories about “Florida Man” the rest of the country is perfectly happy to treat us as a bunch of rednecks and swamp dwellers. We know the score. We ALL do.

So spare us your virtue-signaling hashtags and your fake outpouring of concern over Puerto Rico. You didn’t care before. Why should we believe you care now?

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

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