Emergency meetings at the United Nations Security Council today as nations around the world were devastated by the brutal United States attack against boners today. When the dust settled, it was determined that the planetary limpies were caused by Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton wearing a ployester suit with her hair pulled back and clipped up with baretts.

The blinding attack looked something like this:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahminidejad took the opportunity to waft his open palms at the UN podium, and declare, “See this is why we keep our women veiled! You never know when they might ‘hit the wall’ but if it happens, the population at large will be saved.”


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