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Belch.Com’s Hangover Cure

Like most Americans, you may be celebrating the incoming New Year tonight with a many friends and a few cocktails.  And like many people who may have too much celebration and too much cocktails, you will likely wake up tomorrow morning with a hangover, and hopefully, no regrets.

First, let’s not call it a “hangover.”  It has a negative connotation, and if you call in sick to work with a “hangover” you will get no pity from your boss. 

Instead, let’s call it “Celebration Sickness.”  It serves as a reminder that you got the way you are because you were having fun.  And if you call into work with “celebration sickness,” your boss might be a bit envious that he didn’t get to do whatever it was that you did.

Let me start by stating the obvious:  You can avoid celebration sickness by not drinking at all.  Or if you do drink, you should limit it to just two.  If you are going to have more than that, you should be prepared to deal with the possibility of celebration sickness.  Celebration sickness is caused by the constriction of blood vessels and dehydration caused by the metabolization of alcohol.

So to combat these symptoms, you must do one or all of the following: 

  1. Stay Hydrated.  Drink at least 16 ounces of water for each ounce of alcohol consumed.
  2. Retard the metabolization of alcohol.  This can be accomplished by using carbon in the stomach to filter excess alcohol.
  3. Thin the blood.  Since alcohol constricts blood vessels, only a blood thinner can keep the blood flowing easily.  Aspirin and never Tylenol (acetaminophen) will help with this.

About staying hydrated-  It is best to do this as the night goes along.  You don’t want to try to chug a half-gallon of water before bedtime, and guzzling all the water at once is not as effective as pacing yourself.

Using carbon in the stomach doesn’t mean you should eat charcoal.  But eating burnt things will certainly help.  Burnt toast, blackened chicken or beef, or even grilled veggies will put some carbon in your stomach.  It will act as a natural filter to slow down the alcohol absorption.  Some over-the-counter pills also contain carbon, specifically designed to combat hangovers.  Sob’r-K is a pill with a high carbon content and is very effective and quite cheap too.

Aspirin is very effective at alleviating symptoms of Celebration Sickness and can even be taken as a preventative solution before bedtime.  If you have a sensitive stomach you should really consider taking coated aspirin.  Or better yet, use Alka-Seltzer.  It combines aspirin with bicarbonate of soda, and mixed with water, you get all three cures in one.  Alka-Seltzer even makes a “Morning Relief” formula which adds a caffeine kick to help you get your day started.

As mentioned before, never take Tylenol, not even three days after a night of mild drinking.  It causes more liver damage than alcohol consumption. 

Happy New Year everyone!  Have a great time tonight and come back to this site regularly in 2008.

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

One thought on “Belch.Com’s Hangover Cure

  • I’m not a drinking man anymore but I love the phrase “celebration sickness”.

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