How Weak Are You

If a Hamster can kick your ass?  This sounds like a bad Monty Python skit, but a British man was almost undone by his own hamster. 

Fear the Cuteness!

From the Reg here:

A Worcestershire man may well have saved his own life after suffering a “severe allergic reaction” to a hamster bite – by self-administering anti-allergy drugs before paramedics arrived.

The unnamed 50-year-old was “trying to retrieve his pet from under the floorboards of his home near Evesham” after his daughter accidentally let the beast escape its cage on Monday night, the BBC reports. The little blighter duly bit him, and by the time medics reached the scene the man was suffering “severe breathing difficulties and was in a semi-conscious state”.

The crew quickly administered more drugs and whisked the patient to Alexandra Hospital in Redditch.

The victim in this case really did have a narrow escape. Back in 2004, a Japanese man died “after a bite from his pet hamster caused anaphylactic shock”. An autopsy later showed he’d succumbed to an acute reaction to protein contained in the animal’s saliva.

Warning!  Severe Geekiness Alert!  Dungeons and Dragons References to follow!

Okay, from a D&D point of view, a hamster has maybe one hit point.  At best, it might inflict one hp of damage every four rounds.  As a human, to die from a one hp attack, you have to have zero dexterity, zero strength and maybe one constitution.

That means that this hamster was fighting a reanimated zombie or something.  Or maybe it was a mystical hamster and the human failed his saving throw versus spell.

Regardless, the only more embarrassing way to die is to be killed by a tribble.  There, I even got a geeky Star Trek reference in there.