Music Review: “Traffic on the Backbone”
I brought my wife, my brother and my sister-in-law to the Wings House in Herndon tonight to just get together and get some food and catch up on each others’ lives. I had no intention of writing a music review.
But God help me, these guys sucked so bad, the world needs to be warned not to listen to their music. I haven’t seen a doctor yet, but I think the music gave me a staph infection in my navel. Yeah, it was that bad.
My brother is traumatized too. He watched me choke on a chicken wing, and when I was violently coughing, a broken chicken bone accidentally became wedged in the soft part under my tongue. I pulled it out after a struggle and some blood and tendon membrane came with it. When he finished gagging at the horrifying scene, he asked if it hurt bad. I replied “It burns, it burns, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as having to listen to this band!”
The name of the band is “Traffic on the Backbone” and is no doubt a play-on-words for a bunch of network geeks that work for a local ISP who have formed a start-up garage band. The music is supposed to be modern rock, but they butcher the music by playing off key, forgetting the lyrics to the songs, and skipping important parts to the songs- like bass lines, percussion, or even whole verses. Sometimes the band tries to mix it up a little by skipping lyrics to one song, a bass line to another, and sometimes, they get creative and skip all of them at once!
The lead singer, Jody Barry, lists his biggest influences as Farrah Fawcett and Susan Lucci from All my Children. Nothing says “Rock Star” to me more than a strung-out actress and a soap star. He also says the Fonz taught him how to score with Babes. I wish I was making this up. William Hung has more vocal range than Jody, and has been closer to fame than Jody will ever be. More untalented goodness can be found at their MySpace Page!
I guess you could color me “Not a fan!” I was completely relieved when they stopped for the night at 11:00 PM. I thought it was curious, however, that the band had a 14 piece percussion set and, I counted them- 9 guitars, including a cute tie-dyed guitar- and yet, somehow, they redefined the term “you suck” on a deeply personal level for me. It just goes to show that you can buy the most expensive drum sets and equipment, and it won’t make you sound professional. In fact, in the few moments that they sounded practiced and promising, the mixing and amplification sounded terrible. There was either overpowering bass or screeching offkey lyrics. A professional soundman may have been able to assist with the mixing to tone down the extremes, but face it- you can’t fix stupid.
They closed the performance with a cover of the Beastie Boys’ “You gotta Fight for Your right to Party.” You only need three chords for this song along with lyrics shouted in rhythm to the beat, but somehow the band messed this one up too.
You can get this band for your own party, bar or celebration. But stock up on Neosporin. Your navel will need it to ward off the staph infection. 😛
Hey Pat,
Thats pretty brutal and honestly its taking everything I can not to act like a 3 year old about this whole thing as after browsing through you site I must say that its very interesting, well thought out and informative. Im sorry that we were unable to entertain you and your relatives at that show. However we play BWH alot and always seem to have a very good response there as well as the various other venues throughout MD,DC, and Virginia. Maybe we werent on our game last time or maybe you arent a very good judge of what you hear. Who knows. Anyway we are back at BWH on the 10th of June so give us another shot. And come up and introduce yourself man, cause I really do like your site and if its a sound thing let us know so we can change it.
Peace
Rob
Rob,
Thanks for the response and feedback on my review. I appreciate the invitation to check you guys out again on the 10th. I may just do that if I get a chance. Perhaps the band was indeed off of its game that night and the soundman was asleep at the switch. But I still stand behind my initial review. Okay, I take back the part about the Staph infection.
Not everyone in the band was as diplomatic as Rob. Here is an email I received from the Band’s lead singer, Jody.
At least Jody admits he can’t sing, and he blames the sound mixing on lack of familiarity with the Wing House’s equipment. Funny though, other bands that play at this pub don’t seem to encounter such difficulties, or if they do, they are able to overcome such problems.
And regarding the use of your band’s official LOGO, it’s called fair use. I’m not violating any copyright, because I’m not claiming that the logo is mine, that I made it, or claiming any rights to it. You use this logo for your fliers, your website and your band promotions. It is public, and therefore, available for fair use.
Go ahead and call the Department of Homeland Security, stupid. I’m sure they will get right on that complaint of yours about copyright infringement. As soon as they are finished with Hurricane cleanup, border enforcement, and figure out a way to fix this whole ongoing terrorism issue, I’m sure you will be their next immediate customer.
You need to work on your spelling and your reading comprehension too, Jody. My website says I “Worked” at DHS. I don’t anymore. I don’t blog about my current activities.
And I’m sure this little threat will go a long way toward impressing your current fans in how you handle criticism. I guess the message you are trying to send is “I know we suck, but if you write about how bad we suck, I will try to get you fired.” Nice. Jody, you should leave the band’s public relations to Rob. He seems to have more tact.
If you show up and introduce yourself, the soft, puffy, sleeveless lead singer will probably bean you over the head with one of the guitars. I concur with your initial review. I have heard cats fighting with better pitch…
Well I thought this would get heated up by now. Pat I respect the fact that you stand by your opinion and we as a band stand by ours, which is that this band has played to thousands of people each year up and down the East Coast and have never had a bad review so something really must have been going on that night. What Jody says is true about the P.A. BWH has a brand new system which they wanted to debut that night and we used parts of ours and theirs which obviously didnt work out to well. To review a band and personally attack members though is beneath you. I think thats the reason you got the response you did but it is your forum and I will respect that. I do invite you to a show though, at least giving us the chance to redeem ourselves to you.
Belchmaster you’ve got nothing in this so stop being a leetch and leave it alone. At least Pat had the decency to be there to give an opinion.
Thanks for the space
Rob
Actually, BelchMaster was there that night too, so in a way, his opinion is equally valid. And to be fair, he goes to lots of catfights.
I will give the band another listen one of these days, and will again do so anonymously. If you guys impress me, I will update the review. If not, I will update the review to comment on how right I was.
I don’t think I attacked a member of the band, other than Jody by pointing out that he lacks skills vocally. Which he admitted himself. I called him stupid in a follow-on post because, well, stupid is as stupid does, and threatening a blogger regarding a music review is a pretty stupid thing to do. Especially considering that each time this blog gets updated, it gets upped a notch in Google, and more and more people will see his reaction to a critical review.
Maybe Jody isn’t as stupid as he is crazy. Here is a follow-on email from him in which he challenges my manliness, insists that I am suicidal and really urges me to introduce myself so he can discuss what makes me so bitter. If only Jody spent as much time on vocal lessons as he spends emailing me, maybe he wouldnt get such lousy reviews.
At least he is writing me these emails and not singing them to me.
As Pat said, I was there. The band sounded terrible. Jody either cannot sing, or had blown his voice, or indeed the sound was mixed very poorly. My suspicion was a mix of all three. On occasion, there were tolerable minutes here and there – only to be followed by grimace inducing eye pokes of bad singing. Take your balding mullets back to karaoke night.
Guys, all I can say is that you have your opinion and I respect that, even if I dont agree with it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I take it that Belchmaster is your brother Pat so I expect the same comments from him I also have a little brother and he’d agree with anything I said to. So I’ll extend the invite to both of you. It does disappoint me though that both of you would resort to name calling but we have done the same so I consider it a wash. I would however like to take the opportunity to say that for anyone reading this to remember its one mans opinion. Before taking this review seriously come out and listen to us and judge for yourself. If we are as bad as stated feel free to add your own comments. If we arent please comment on that as well. As I stated previously I really like your site because both of us seem to fall on the same side when it comes to most issues and your site is alot more than just Belches ( which is halarious by the way). So best of luck to both you and your brother and we wish nothing but good things for you.
Peace
Rob
Thanks Rob. I’ll keep an eye on your dates, and when you get back around town I may give you guys another try.
You know – aside from the fairly obvious fact that this Jodi Barry fellow is somewhat touched in the head – his rants about copyright law got me thinking and googling. Check this out…
The use of their logo on your site is ABSOLUTELY fair use, covered under several fair use guidelines. These include the fact that you were reporting on them, that it is a satirical and humor website, and that you did not use more of their material than you need to for your review. His ‘demand’ that you remove it means nothing under fair use. And if he sues, and somehow wins, you are only liable for damages inflicted on the commercial use of the picture. So – nothing.
But here is the really funny part…
All cover bands need to obtain a license to play their songs from the Harry Fox Agency. This is the company that the record companies have set up to sell the compulsory licenses for covers. Now most bars have this license already for their jukeboxes, so if the bars have it, it covers the band. However in the case of private parties and shows where the owner of the establishment does not have the license, the band is responsible.
Here is where it gets really good… This does not cover mechanical use of the songs. Meaning they still cannot record their cover without paying a per use fee for the song. If you look at their myspace page, they have various MP3s of covers. Each of these would have to have a license granted by the copyright owners, and they would have to pay royalties for the use – or EACH download. If you look at their site, they talk about being in the studio recording more CDs. Each cover on each CD needs to be licensed and PRE paid. In fact, if they produce the CD without a license, some of their “rights” to obtain a license go away, and they could find themselves unable to license it at all, and then subject to fines and penalties.
Harry Fox Agency says this on their website about anti-piracy:
The Harry Fox Agency, Inc. maintains an active Anti-Piracy Program under the supervision of our Legal Department. Through this service, HFA collects information regarding unauthorized mechanical uses of musical compositions owned and controlled by our publishers and affiliated societies (both online and physical). After researching and confirming the information we receive, we send appropriate notification to the unauthorized user. HFA’s intervention frequently results in the removal of unauthorized product from the distribution channels or, if the publishers or society so desires, settlement of the matter through a licensing arrangement.
There is a contact link to report unauthorized use.
Do you have a link to the fair use part? This is not the first time this issue has come up, not necessarily with me, but other bloggers as well… People are routinely being threatened for copyright infringement for posting a picture, and it would be a good link to keep handy. I could have sent it to Barry about the logo use, and it would have ended that issue from the topic of discussion.
I don’t know a thing about this Harry Fox Agency thing. Sounds insidious to me. Sounds like a pain in the ass to anyone that has a band or wants to entertain in a bar. So bars with jukeboxes- do you think a license comes as part of renting the jukebox? Or would a jukebox distributor hold a master license and all of their customers fall under an umbrella of sorts?
I just want to go to pubs and listen to good music.
I was doing a google search on the band Traffic on The Backbone and was shocked to find this review. I recently had the pleasure of seeing them perform in Fredericksburg VA and thought they rocked the house! I was trying to find their website to get a schedule to see them again. I am curious if Pat has been able to see them since his initial review a year or so ago?
No, I have not had the “pleasure” to see them perform again. Their myspace page is still online and I think they have a schedule there.
Hey fatboy, I read your review and must say you sound like you have a personal beef with these guys. This band has a pretty good following and has no problems getting gigs, so it must be you. And one more thing… I recommend you learn to chew your food to keep from choking on bones, chicken bones that is. Chewing won’t help with the other bone you like to chew on. LOL. By the way, big brother is watching so buckle up and WATCH YOUR SPEED.
You wouldn’t be one of those stupid cops that goes around making threats to people online would you?
Cops don’t make threats, they warn fat idiots, such as yourself, who think they are above everyone and everything.
LawDawg, what is your problem? “Warn me?” About what? You going to write me a ticket? How would you manage that trick?
You pretending to be a cop? I know you aren’t one. Why don’t you stop before its too late? If you think you’re pissed off now over a music review, imagine how mad you might get if I tried to get you fired from your job at Booze Allen Hamilton?
I have important friends who work at BAH. They don’t like it when douchebags abuse their network.