I Think I Could Beat Up a Turkey or Three

I don’t care how big it is. The damn thing has hollow bones and a remarkably scrawny neck that is pretty easy to grasp and squeeze. And I bet I could punt one at least 20 yards. But watch how these weak suburbanites respond to a Turkey Confrontation. Dear God, the screams!

With everyone running from these gobblers, its no wonder they have taken to bullying little kids. Just smack one right upside the beak and make its wattle shake real good and they won’t mess with you again. Never let food push you around. By the way, a group of turkeys is collectively called a “rafter of turkeys.”