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Vegan Condoms Exist Despite Distinct Lack of Bangable Vegan Women

Vegans rejoice! Now there are condoms made from organic matter that has never been tested on animals. This will come in handy as soon as someone becomes sexually attracted to a bony patchouli-smelling liberal chick who nags people constantly about what they eat.

From Breitbart here:

An Australian company, Glyde, claims to have created the world’s only certified ethical, vegan and Fair Trade condom. Furthermore, the manufacturers say it has never been tested on animals.

In the Ad “Animals,” romantic lighting and sultry music provide the vibe for a scantily clad beauty who seductively delivers the following message:

“There are a million ways to pleasure a woman. You can use your hands. Your mouth. Even toys.”But you wouldn’t f**k me with something that’s been inside a horse, would you?”

Only skinny, effeminate, neck-bearded man children who still live in Mom’s basement would try to use one of these things to bang a vegan chick who can’t even bother to put on makeup. This is the second post in a row that makes me happy that people are finding ways to prevent liberals from breeding. Thanks to Robb for the tip!

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

2 thoughts on “Vegan Condoms Exist Despite Distinct Lack of Bangable Vegan Women

  • This will come in handy as soon as someone becomes sexually attracted to a bony patchouli-smelling liberal chick who nags people constantly about what they eat.

    You left out unshorn.

  • jawn

    Each vegan condom should also come with a bottle of beano……..because with the girl moving around a bit on the bed….stirs them beans up….

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