The 9 Layers of DGAF at Every Federal Agency

In my career I have had the displeasure of working at just about every federal agency as either a contractor or a vendor. Federal Agencies are gigantic monoliths of uncaring, unmotivated personnel who live out their lives collecting federal paychecks and a good retirement income. Whenever an agency is able to actually accomplish something, it is a miracle, and it usually turns out to be bad anyways. And no one at the federal agencies cares about what they do and care less about the citizens they are purported to serve.

And when DC outsiders fantasize that any federal agency is actually conspiring against its citizens, it is even more laughable. For instance, there are twitter rumors going around that the Feds are trying to insert tracking chips in citizens via flu shots. As an insider, I know this can’t possibly be true because they just DGAF. I hereby present a true org chart of every federal agency and their nine layers of DGAF. (click to enlarge)