Venice, Italy Floods; Black Italians Blame Bush

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Thousands of Black Italians camped angrily on rooftops across the northern Italy city of Venice today because of rising floodwaters and President Bush’s stubborn inattention to the plight of the black man. Unsubstantiated rumors of cannibalism taking place in the Venice Opera House were reported by Italian news agencies as fact, and widespread looting was reported at Italian convenience stores around the region.

Flooded St. Mark’s Square, with St. Mark’s Basilica in the background, in Venice, northern Italy

“I blame Bush” said cardboard signs drawn up and held aloft for circling news helicopters.  Anderson Cooper of CNN was immediately dispatched to the area so he could indignantly blame the failures of the Bush White House as the cause of the overtopping of the flood walls.

Black Italians panicked and hijacked passersby for piggyback rides

When a reporter asked President Bush during his afternoon Rosegarden news conference why he was not doing more to help stranded blacks trapped in this latest flood, Bush reportedly said that it was “Italy’s problem.”  Shame on you Mr. President.

President-Elect Obama said that the first thing he would do when he got into office would be to “redeploy” the floodwaters from the Italian town.