I can't believe that came from your mouth!
Archive for September, 2008
Hippie Infestation Ends in Berkeley
Sep 9th
Finally, after 21 months, the dirtbags that were blocking the bulldozers in UC Berkeley have been shaken from the trees. Cartman would have cleared them out in 21 minutes.
From Fox News here:
UC Berkeley officials are preparing to remove the last remaining tree-sitters protesting a planned sports center next to Memorial Stadium.
The protest began 21 months ago in an effort to prevent the campus from clearing an oak grove to make room for the new sports center. But the university has cut most of the trees after getting court clearance last week.
The university has refused to meet the protesters’ demand that it donate $6 million to environmental and Native American groups as part of an agreement for the tree-sitters to come down voluntarily.
The kicker is they did not negotiate for their own charges to be dropped. Pity.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!)
Loading ...Would You Let Hackers Control Your Thermostat?
Sep 9th
Maryland, one of the most liberal states in the country, is getting ready to force their residents to replace their home heating controls with a gadget that can be remote controlled, presumably, by the homeowner. But like all web-based applications, it will be prone to phishing and hacking.
From MyFoxDC here:
As part of a test of newfangled energy-saving devices, electric utility Allegheny Power is proposing installation next year of “smart thermostats” in hundreds of homes in the Urbana area about 40 miles northwest of Washington.
The gadgets would enable customers to control their home temperature remotely through a Web site that conveys hourly energy price and usage information. The utility says the thermostats could also include a text-messaging feature.
The devices are part of the company’s plan for meeting the state’s goal of a 15 percent reduction in energy consumption by 2015.
This is a dumb solution for a dumb problem. Maryland’s government is maggoty with ecozealots who are convinced that global warming is real and that they have to reduce carbon. So they are forcing people to adopt remote control thermostats, which are web-enabled. This would give more than just the owner access to the system- The power company, the government, hackers, and anyone with a web browser. Imagine ecohackers sending out phishing emails to steal your thermostat’s password so they can reduce their carbon for you. Or worse, imagine the government doing it.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...The Clown’s Prayer
Sep 8th
While reading FARK, I came across this nugget that I thought was creepy and humorous- The Clown’s Prayer. It sounds like a ripoff of a 12-stepper’s prayer for strength to fight addiction.
So here’s the prayer, with my own comments sprinkled in blue.
The Clown’s Prayer
As I stumble through this life, (maybe your stupid shoes are too big!)
help me to create more laughter than tears, (Your scary clown antics make kids cry!)
dispense more cheer than gloom,
spread more cheer than despair.
Never let me become so indifferent,
that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child, (They wonder why the hell you are so freaky!)
or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.
Never let me forget that total
effort is to cheer people,
make them happy, and forget momentarily,
all the unpleasantness in their lives. (Unpleasantness like scary ass clowns?)
And in my final moment, (May that come soon)
may I hear you whisper:
“When you made my people smile,
you made me smile.” (The morticians smiled when they tried to close the casket on those big clown feet)
So what do clowns really pray for before they disguise themselves with white paint and rainbow wigs? I don’t have the entire list, but I’m certain the following are on there:
- Please Lord, No background checks!
- Thankful for the bounty that white gloves hide fingerprints
- Please God, don’t let the parents smell the bourbon on my breath!
- Thank God helium isn’t flammable
- Many thanks that giraffe balloon animal looks like a penis.
Feel free to add your own to this list.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...What a Croc
Sep 8th
One of the goofiest things about this decade’s fashion has to be the Croc footwear. I fully expect VH-1 to cover this issue on the “I Love the Aughts.” I am seeing more and more articles on the web hailing the fad as being on the way out, but it seems no one has told that to Iron Chef Bitali yet. Or to our current CNC.
Here is a list here of other fashion fads that have come and gone, but I have a better one here.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Lefties Having a Religious Experience
Sep 7th
Environmentalism is just a religion for leftist atheists. Humankind longs to worship something, and when you remove God from the equation, you end up worshiping rocks and trees. Check out this hilarious video below as hippies from EarthFirst wail about the loss of trees and declare their admiration and love for the rocks and the dirt. The sensing of each others’ auras and the haunting drum tapping is the icing on this fruit cake. Thanks to HotAir for the link.
A classic quip from the YouTube comments:
Ok people the Trees have asked me to tell you to get the f*ck outta there or they will call the cops cause yer freakin out the whole damn forest.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Death Metal + Emo = “Screamo”
Sep 7th
Usually I post music videos or songs that I like. This time, I’m posting a bizarre oddity that highlights how awful music can sometimes get. Heavy Metal got stupid to me when people started screaming into the microphones. Emo was bad enough to start with. So what happens when you mix the two? You get this bastardized monster below by the band Our Last Night singing “Escape.” Get some cottonballs for your ears and then click to be amazed.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Lock Your Doors in Bigfoot Country
Sep 4th
Its my last night on the West Coast and I didn’t have anything planned so I set out on my own adventure. I was in Mountain View, CA and really wanted to see the ocean, and maybe get some seafood for dinner. I checked the map, saw an interesting curvy road that went from Saratoga to Santa Cruz, so I put the pedal down and made the trip down California’s State Road 9.
There were several wineries on the side roads, one of which was the Paul Masson winery, which made me giggle thinking of Orson Wells chugging a glass of champagne and scolding TV viewers “We will sell no wine before its time.” Outtakes of that commercial is above via YouTube.
The next thing about the trip that was unusual was the sudden temperature drop when I left the Valley and crested the ridge into a Redwood Forest. Those trees were big, and they were menacingly close to the road on several occasions too.
As the road curved among trees and switchbacks, a few small towns came and went. In Felton, I saw the funniest tourist trap- The Bigfoot Discovery Museum!
Finally the road wound down into Santa Cruz. I expected a bright, hip, colorful beach town. Instead I saw a dirty town full of burnouts, homeless, crackheads and hippies. The homes had bars on the windows and the convenience store refused to let anyone use their bathrooms. I had to use the john in a scary laundromat, the first I’ve seen in California. And nope, I didn’t stay to eat any seafood.
So if you are travelling through Bigfoot Country, lock your doors. Hippie crackhead hitchhikers may decide they need a ride to the tofu palace.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Medal of Honor Story of Michael Monsoor
Sep 4th
This video below is awesome. Especially the part about how all of the Navy Seals showed up to his funeral.
Maybe they will build a ship named after him.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(1 votes, average: 6.00 out of 6) Loading ...2 PM Music: The Watches- Wake the Sun
Sep 4th
I heard this song while listening to the modern music channel on Verizon’s FIOS music channels and thought it was awesome. So click to enjoy something fresh and lively.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Reason 839 to HomeSchool: School Soccer Coach Won’t Play Slippy Finger With Your Son
Sep 4th
Meet George Bull. He was a teacher of retarded kids at Esperanza High School in Anaheim, a soccer coach, and an avid kiddie porn collector. 6 Years from retirement, George decided that his new hobby would be molesting little boys and taking closeup photos of their peckers for personal gratification. Now the sick bastard is behind bars because an alert Dad caught Bull trying to entice his son over Instant Message chats.
From KNBC here. Video Here.
A Lake Forest teacher involved in youth soccer was arrested Wednesday after he was trying to sexually entice a 13-year-old boy, which led police to find computer images prompting fears there are other young victims.
George Harcourt Bull, 58, was taken into custody at his home. According to a criminal complaint charging him with possessing child pornography, Bull is a coach, referee coordinator and board member with the American Youth Soccer Organization, and a special education substitute teacher at Esperanza High School in Anaheim.
The father of the 13-year-old Arizona boy contacted the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in June, and said the boy was engaging in on-line Web cam and chat sessions with an individual who used the screen name “joeycal.”
The individual sent the minor instant messages and text messages, and used graphic language to describe sexual behavior. The man, identified as Bull, has a profile on the My Space social networking Web site.
After his computer was seized, agents found sexually explicit photographs of prepubescent males, numerous images of child pornography and of three minor Latino males seen in the company of Bull and another male, who has not been identified.
The images of the three boys appear to have been taken inside the bedroom and living room of Bull’s residence and the residential community pool where he lives.
Yet another special needs teacher sent up the river for kid touching. More examples of that here, here and here. If you ever need to report someone to National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, there is a link to the right in the blogroll.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...That PDA Phone I Got? Craptacular!
Sep 3rd
I got it in March and it just went tits up. Its a Verizon Titan XV6800, so if you are thinking about getting one, get an iPhone. Being on travel with no phone is going to be a real pain.
At least I have a working laptop and Skype, so I can still call out if I need to. I already ordered a replacement. Maybe the next one will work better and last longer.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Verily MeThinks Thou Hast Failed Most Epicly
Sep 2nd
It is RennFair Season. Yes, I am one of those geeks that goes on opening weekend, mostly because it isn’t as crowded. I wear a costume and everything, not necessarily because I want to pretend I’m an renegade from the 16th century, but women don’t complain about you staring at their boobs if you are dressed appropriately. Yep, the RennFair is all about Beer, Boobs and Meat on Sticks. And its this last part that gave problems to one unfortunate child.
From Fox5 Here:
A 10-year-old boy seriously injured his eye at the Maryland Renaissance Festival when he accidentally stuck a skewer in his eye.
It happened around 5 p.m. Sunday at the festival in Crownsville.
The boy was eating “Steak on a Stake” when he pulled the wooden skewer out of his mouth and then somehow stuck the skewer in his eye. The boy was flown to the Wilmer Eye Institute at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore with a serious eye injury.
Here is a previous story about a boy failing at eating.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...West Coast Squatting This Week
Sep 2nd
My Company, PlxxxCo, has flown me out to the west coast to work on some projects. Blogging will be spotty this week, or done very late at night, just like this one. Feel free to be a lookie-loo in the archives, and maybe go nuts clicking on ad banners.
Unbelievably, I checked into a hotel with a full bar and grill, but its closed today because it is Labor Day. I am going to distribute fliers tomorrow notifying the staff of the hotel, that as a member of the hospitality industry, it is their job to be on hand to sell me beers on Holidays. So instead I am raiding the “honor bar.” Pringles and Amstel Light. The midnight snack of champions!
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(No Ratings Yet. Rate It!) Loading ...Watermelons With Seeds Are Racist
Sep 1st
When will black people stop being such whiny babies? A black man is on the brink of winning the Presidency of the USA, yet still, there are blacks that are seeing invisible racist imagery everywhere they look. Including now, if they see an anthropomorphic caricature of a Watermelon Seed.
Jim and Veronica Thrasher, residents of Sacramento, went to the state fair and became enraged at pictures of seeds painted up like people. These seeds were created to promote the bountiful seed-producing crops of Colusa County, California. Why so angry? Because the Watermelon seed was black. Just like, er, um… watermelon seeds. Thanks to Moonbattery for the link.
From the SACBEE here:
Jim Thrasher and his wife were enjoying the California State Fair this weekend until they came upon the Colusa County exhibit.
For the black couple from Sacramento, the exhibit’s depiction of “Waldo Watermelon Seed” conjured up painful images of the Jim Crow era.
The cartoon-like character was “the standard caricature you’d see from the old days, 50, 60, 70 years ago – black face, buckteeth, bug eyes holding a watermelon,” said Thrasher, 58.
“It brought back memories of my childhood in Ohio where the Klan still marched, when racism was overt, all the name-calling I and my family had to endure,” Thrasher said.
The display, created by several teens at Colusa High, was intended to reflect the county’s production of melons, pumpkins and watermelons.
Wow, this black dude needs to see a shrink for his panic disorders. He sees a happy watermelon seed and he thinks about klan rallies from 70 years ago? Get a grip, Thrasher. Next you’ll be saying that seedless watermelons represent the white man’s attempt to cut the balls off of the black man. Clearly watermelons are a racist fruit.
At least the watermelon seed looks happy. What’s the deal with dour, bitter, “Patrick Pumpkin Seed?” Is he upset because Waldo Watermelon Seed won’t stop talking during the movie? Or is he angry that his thumbs are on backwards?
When Thrasher complained about the display, Fair organizers quickly took Waldo Watermelon Seed down. They used a German Shepard and a firehose to knock it off the wall.
Like This Post? Rate it and tell your friends! Click the Share button below.
(2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 6) Loading ...
