Having Solved All Other Problems In Virginia…

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Delegate Lionel Spruill of Chesapeake is going to ban giant rubber nuts that swing pendulously and ponderously from the bumpers of Virginians.

From the AP here:

Drive in Virginia with outsized rubber replica testicles dangling from your trailer hitch and face a fine under a bill before the General Assembly.

Taste and even decency notwithstanding, Del. Lionel Spruill introduced the bill Tuesday as a safety measure: male genitalia swaying from a car distracts other drivers.

His bill would make displaying the ornamentation a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $250.

The idea and motivation, however, came from a constituent upset that his young daughter had caught sight of the facsimile sex organs and asked what they were.

“I didn’t know what to tell her,” Spruill said, quoting the constituent, whom he refused to identify.

“I said, ‘Sir, I’m going to be a laughing stock, but I’m going to do it,’” he said.

You know what distracts other drivers? Watching dumbasses trying to text and talk on their cellphones while they are driving. What happened to that law, Mr. Spruill?  Or those huge SUV’s playing Pixar movies on their LCD screens for their kids with so much ADD they can’t sit still in a car long enough to drive home from the grocery store.

And what to tell a child? Tell the precious snowflake to look at the south end of a northbound boy dog to see if she can figure out what it is.