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Prepare For Zombie Attack!

My wife has a serious fear of zombies.  If it is dark outside at a campground, and someone mentions the “Zee” word, she begins to twitch out-  the sweaty palms; the fight or flight instincts begin to kick in-  and she tells herself over and over that she knows there is no such thing as zombies.  Right?

Me, I fear wolves, bears, and parasitic worms.  And clowns.  I honestly don’t know what would freak me out more at a darkened campground:  a wolf attack or a clown outbreak.

Anyways, one of the ways she got past her fears is studying to become prepared in the event of a Zombie attack.  And the best way prepare for a Zombie attack is to purchase the Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks.  You can get your copy here or click the picture to go to Amazon.

The book is listed under comedy, but there is nothing really all that funny about this book, because it has common-sense tips on self defense and how to survive Zombie outbreaks without becoming infected or devoured by the undead.

The main tips are:

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

And what is it that Zombies are after anyways?  Well, brains, of course, but what else?  Thanks to Neatorama, we now have the official food pyramid of the Undead.

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

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