What is Your Cat’s Day Job?

We went out to dinner with a vegetarian friend of my wife’s today.  She works part time as a dog walker, and one of her customers recommended an amazing veterinarian who paracticed holistic medicine.

She went on to detail how this doggie quack diagnosed and proposed to treat her sick cat.  Part of the diagnosis was a series of questions and answers about the cat’s homelife-  its likes, dislikes, sleeping schedule, eating habits, and really odd personality questions.  One of the questions was “If your cat had a human career, what job would he have?”

This kittten would be a professional stalker.  Or maybe an astronaut.  Like crazed stalker Lisa Nowak!

This sham of a vet prescribed several herbs based on the stress of the type of job she thought the cat would hold in life.  Our friend paid this quack his fee and never went back. 

But it got me thinking about what my cats would be if they had a career.
Considering they fight often with each other, but in a cute way, they would be wrestlers.  Or gang members.  One’s a Blood and the other is a Crip.  But since they are mostly non-violent, its more like the Sharks versus the Jets from West Side Story. 

Individually, I would guess serial killer for the older cat, Rogue.  She always looks at me funny and tries to trip me when I walk downstairs.  The kitten is a stalker.  She sneaks up on me and watches me when I take a shower.  And sometimes when I take a nap and roll over she is there, just looking at me.  And she reads my emails when Im not at home.

What would your cat be if it was allowed to get a real job?