Can’t Wait to Try Bud Light Platinum

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About 8 years ago I went to visit the UK. I loved trying all of the new beers and many of them have become my favorite. But believe it or not, the best tasting beer in Britain was Budweiser. Yeah, the same Bud as back here in the states, but over there, the alcohol content was 6%ABV. The higher alcohol content totally changed the way that Budweiser tasted, and I’ve told all my friends that go to the UK to give the American Standard a second look.

I squee’d when I saw this commercial for the new Bud Light Platinum. Not because of the new look, but because I already know how fantastic that beer is going to taste. So thanks, Anheuser-Busch. WTF took so long??


Jack-in-the-Box Says Marriage is Not Just Between a Man and Woman

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Awesome commercial here.

And if you go to MarryBacon.Com you can also make a bacon baby. Here is a sample I created with a photo I had saved of some crazy dude.


What a Man Wants for Valentine’s Day

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Bacon roses. Thank me very much.

You can figure out how to do these at Instructables here.


Cheesy Gooooold!

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These Velveeta Skillet commercials have been out for a while, but I just saw it for the first time, and it is a laugh riot! I love this one with the little bit of sexual tension with the skillet blacksmith.


Awesome Alien Brain Hemorrhage Shot

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Leave it to a bunch of drunk Scots to highlight a shot of liquor that looks like a bleeding brain.

Ingredients are:

To make an alien brain hemorrhage cocktail, fill a shot glass halfway with peach schnapps. Gently pour Bailey’s Irish Cream on top. After the shot is almost full, carefully add a small amount of blue curacao. After it settles, add a few drops of grenadine syrup.


Polish Escalator

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In Poland, drunks in nightclubs find ways to take shortcuts. Who needs the stairs? Certainly not this guy.

Who needs hospitalization for internal bleeding? Yeah, this guy.

And Buzzfeed provided an awesome animated gif.


Bacon Candy Tattoo

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This guy has a sweet tooth for bacon, sodium and high cholesterol.

Bacon Is Meat Candy
see more Ugliest Tattoos


Pizza Maker in NYC Can Sling Dough and Opera

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Being a former pizza maker, I am truly impressed at this performance.


American Fat Ass in a Can

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American

American Fat Ass in a Can, a photo by BelchSpeak on Flickr.

America runs on Gravy. Americans can get about 9 American Idol episodes per can of this high intensity fuel.


Awesome: Ben Franklin’s Synonyms for Being Drunk

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Saw this over at Mental Floss.

Go there to read the rest:

The Drinkers Dictionary will come in handy. The lengthy list of expressions meaning “inebriated” was first published by Franklin in the Pennsylvania Gazette on January 6, 1737.

A
He is Addled,
He’s casting up his Accounts,
He’s Afflicted,
He’s in his Airs.

B
He’s Biggy,
Bewitch’d,
Block and Block,
Boozy,
Bowz’d,
Been at Barbadoes,
Piss’d in the Brook,
Drunk as a Wheel-Barrow,
Burdock’d,
Buskey,
Buzzey,
Has Stole a Manchet out of the Brewer’s Basket,
His Head is full of Bees,
Has been in the Bibbing Plot,
Has drank more than he has bled,
He’s Bungey,
As Drunk as a Beggar,
He sees the Bears,
He’s kiss’d black Betty,
He’s had a Thump over the Head with Sampson’s Jawbone,
He’s Bridgey.

C
He’s Cat,
Cagrin’d,
Capable,
Cramp’d,
Cherubimical,
Cherry Merry,
Wamble Crop’d,
Crack’d,
Concern’d,
Half Way to Concord,
Has taken a Chirriping-Glass,
Got Corns in his Head,
A Cup to much,
Coguy,
Copey,
He’s heat his Copper,
He’s Crocus,
Catch’d,
He cuts his Capers,
He’s been in the Cellar,
He’s in his Cups,
Non Compos,
Cock’d,
Curv’d,
Cut,
Chipper,
Chickery,
Loaded his Cart,
He’s been too free with the Creature,
Sir Richard has taken off his Considering Cap,
He’s Chap-fallen,

Ben spent quite a bit of time in local pubs it seems.


Sad: Cracker Barrel Founder Dies

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So sad. He was a wonderful restaurateur and a good businessman who had great success with a good product. Dan Evins has died.

From WTOP here:

The founder of the Cracker Barrel Old Country Store chain, Dan Evins, has died at 76.

Evins opened his first restaurant in Lebanon, Tenn., in 1969. The restaurant catered to highway travelers and focused on offering Southern hospitality, country-style cooking and an associated gift shop that came to define the chain.

He fashioned the restaurant after the country stores of his youth in rural Tennessee and used a number of family recipes. The restaurant was named after the practice of customers gathering at country stores to share news and play checkers on top of an empty barrel that had been used to deliver crackers to the store.

Evins helped build the chain into a national brand as CEO from 1969 to 2001 and chairman until he retired in 2004. Cracker Barrel Old Country Store Inc., headquartered in Lebanon, Tenn., now operates more than 600 restaurants in 42 states.

So long, Danny and thanks for all the gravy.


Chili Cheese Me! Or How to Request a Heart Attack

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Have you seen the latest Sonic’s commercial where they brag about dumping chili and onions on a burger or smothering tater tots with it? And did you notice that the voice-overs sound like James Brown and the angina widows?


Gordon Ramsay Bullies Customers

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I think bullying is good. Especially when its called for. So does Gordon.

And he won’t let a woman get all uppity either.


This Restaurant Discriminates Against Invizzies

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And you know what? I’m okay with that.


Corporate Tatt

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Okay, so you really like the burgers. I like them too, but maybe not this much.


Captain Morgan is a Bitch on the Stemware

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I admit I do like spiced rum, and Capt. Morgan’s is fantastic with Diet Coke. This time of year its great for Egg Nog too. But you can’t have a 17th century sea captain at your party and hope to keep your fine stemware intact.


Will Ferrell and Old Milwaukee

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Why is Will Ferrell in Davenport Iowa, and why in God’s name is he drinking this swill?


Arrested for Burping

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Some stupid teachers in New Mexico called the cops because a student burped in his PE class. The kid was arrested and taken to jail!

Full details over at my blog site, BelchSpeak.


Best Way to Reheat Pizza

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This is pretty awesome. Takes about 5 times longer than a microwave, but the results are 10 times better.


Bobby’s Burger Palace

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Bobby Flay has a burger joint and I might have to put this on my list of food destinations.

From Flay’s Twitpic stream: