Ass Pirate Faces 10 Years for Enema Product Tampering

People who habitually stick things up their own assholes are rarely good decision makers. But using enemas and returning them to the store as unused to allow them to be restocked is not just a bad decision, but borderline bioterror. Meet Ronald Robinson. He likes the assplay, which is good now that he is going to serve ten years in “Pound me in the Ass” prison. He purchased dozens of enemas from CVS, stuck them up his ass, then put them back in the boxes, sealed them and returned them to the store for restocking.

From the SmokingGun here:

A Florida man faces upwards of 10 years in federal prison after pleading guilty this week to a revolting product tampering scheme in which he returned used enemas to the CVS pharmacy where he purchased the items.

Ronald Robinson, 35, entered his guilty plea to a single felony tampering charge during an appearance Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Jacksonville. A sentencing date has not been set for Robinson, who has been jailed since last year.

After using the enemas, Robinson placed them back into their boxes, resealed the containers, and returned the products for refunds. The used enemas were then reshelved by CVS workers and later sold to other customers.

Robinson was collared after a CVS employee became suspicious about the frequency with which he was returning enema packages. When the worker examined the returned box, he “observed that all the enemas were used” and that the bottom of the package had been “re-glued…so that it appeared that it had not been opened.”

After learning of the tampering, federal agents identified “several purchasers of the used enemas.” Investigators subsequently identified “several more purchasers” of the tampered enema boxes. Court filings do not reveal how many of the CVS customers used the tainted enemas (some of which were found to contain fecal matter). Robinson’s guilty plea includes the acknowledgement that the tampering was done with “reckless disregard that another person would be placed in danger of death or bodily injury.”

Robinson had a long rap sheet, is currently on state probation, for crimes that includes arrests for burglary, battery, passing bad checks, damage to property, and criminal mischief. And his facebook profile listed one of his interests as “potty training.”